“Then?” Barbara’s voice hardened. “Then I got a call at work sayin’ Billy was missing. I rushed right home. Bob was in a state, screaming at Ginny, but it wasn’t her fault. She was only six years old. He never should’a sent her up to that playground alone with Billy. I called the police. They came out and looked around, but they didn’t do much. Once they found out I used to dance, they figured it might have been a customer or stalker or something. But then they found out about Bob’s old girlfriend who used to cause trouble for us. Used to vandalize the house and mess with our cars and stuff. They decided she must have taken my Billy as revenge or somethin’, but no one was ever able to prove that.”
“What did Bob think?” Alec asked.
“Oh, Bob thought she did it too. Went nuts all over her, trying to get her to admit it. She never did, though.”
A yapping sounded from the other room, then seconds later a tiny Chihuahua mix with a blinged-out pink collar streaked into the room, barked at Raegan and Alec like a loon, and jumped up on Barbara Willig’s lap, waggling her tail with an excited whine.
Barbara Willig frowned but immediately started petting the attention-demanding dog. “This is Ginny’s dog. Ginny!” she yelled.
A door somewhere in the house opened. “What?” the girl called.
“Come get Daisy.”
Ginny rushed into the room and scooped the dog from her mother’s lap. “Did those mean people scare you?” she cooed, showing emotion for the first time. “Your Ginny’s here now, baby.” The dog lapped at the girl’s nose and lips. Ginny laughed and held her like a doll.
Barbara sighed as the girl walked away with the dog, watching the two disappear down the hall. “That dog’s the only thing she really cares about. Ever since her brother went missing . . .” Her voice hitched, and she coughed to try to cover it. “Well, she’s not been the same since.”
Raegan could only imagine how something like that would scar a child. “It’s good she has the dog.”
“Yeah, sometimes.” Barbara took another sip of her soda. “And other times I worry she’s too attached to that dog. She uses it like a shield, focusing all her emotion on that dog while she blocks out everyone else. If something were to happen to Daisy, I don’ know what Ginny would do.”
Raegan glanced at Alec, who hadn’t spoken in the last few minutes. He was watching Barbara Willig, but something in the way he sat expressionless told Raegan he was lost in his own thoughts and memories.
Thinking about the alcohol he’d used as a shield? About how he’d blocked her out when all she’d wanted to do was help him? Raegan didn’t know, and wondering hurt too much, so she glanced down at her notes and refocused. “So you mentioned that you’re divorced now, Ms. Willig. Do you know where we could find Mr. Willig to ask him some questions about what he saw that day?”
“Sure do. He’s at CRCI.”
“Columbia River Correctional Institution?” Alec said, finally joining the conversation.
Barbara nodded. “He lost it after Billy went missing. He always had a bit of a temper, but he went off the deep end when we couldn’t find Billy. We fought all the time. Then he got arrested for roughing up that ex-girlfriend. I couldn’t look at him after that. It was his fault Billy disappeared. His fault Ginny changed. His fault because he didn’t watch the kids like he was supposed to do when I had to work. When he got sent to jail, I divorced him, and I’m not sorry.”
Alec’s shoulders tensed. Raegan saw it from the corner of her vision. Her gaze drifted down his arms toward his hands clasped tightly together in front of him, his knuckles turning white.
Her back tingled because she knew what he was thinking. Barbara Willig’s story had hit way too close to home for him.
“We’re very sorry for your loss, Ms. Willig.” Raegan pushed to her feet. “I know you’re busy, so we don’t want to take up any more of your time.”
Barbara rose as well, surprise pulling her brows together. “That’s it?”
“Yes,” Raegan answered, watching Alec carefully as he stood. His jaw was as hard as she’d ever seen it, and something dark lurked in his gaze. “I think that’s all we need.”
“Do you see any similarities between my son and those other cases you’re looking into?” Barbara asked with wide eyes.
Raegan didn’t want to get the woman’s hopes up. The only thing that stood out to her was that this family had been poor and uneducated, and she suspected the person who’d taken Billy had known that and used it to his advantage. “I’m not sure.”
Raegan moved toward the door, but Barbara Willig stopped her with a hand on her arm. “If you figure out who took my Billy, I’d appreciate it if you’d come tell me. That person didn’t just steal my boy, he ruined my whole family. That’s something he needs to pay for.”
Raegan nodded and squeezed the woman’s hand. “We will.”
Outside, Raegan drew a deep breath that did little to ease the heaviness in her belly. Alec didn’t speak to her, just walked up to the truck, opened the passenger door, then moved around to the driver’s side as she climbed in. Dim barking echoed from inside the Willig house, but Raegan didn’t turn to look. Because the only thing she could focus on was the man sitting next to her. The one who was dredging up a truckload of guilt over something that was not his fault.
Alec put the truck in drive and pulled away from the curb. Raegan waited until they were out of the neighborhood before she glanced his way and said, “You okay?”
“Me? Yeah, I’m fine.”
She frowned because she knew he wasn’t fine. He was spiraling all over again. She just didn’t know what to do about it or if there was anything she could do to help. And that hurt more than anything else, because that’s all she’d ever wanted to do. Just help the man she loved.
CHAPTER NINE
Alec flexed and squeezed his hand against the steering wheel. Knew if he didn’t focus on breathing and finding control that he could easily lose it. As much as he tried not to, though, all he could think about was what Barbara Willig had said.
“They didn’t just take my baby, they ruined my family. That’s somethin’ they need to pay for.”
She didn’t know who’d taken her child, but Alec knew who’d taken his. And that person was sitting in a prison yard right this minute, only an hour away, planning all the ways he was going to mess with Raegan.
Well, Alec wouldn’t let him.
“You know that woman’s situation is completely different from ours, right?” Raegan said softly at his side when they were on the freeway.
Alec huffed. Of course she knew what he was thinking because she knew him better than anyone else ever had. “No, it’s not. The only difference between us and her is that she’s uneducated and has no money.”
“That’s not true. That woman’s husband clearly had issues before their child disappeared. And so did she.”
“We all have issues.”
“Alec.” She looked toward him with sad green eyes. “It’s not the same. We are not the same. I never blamed you.”
This time the pain was so sharp it was all he could do to keep from steering the truck over the divider and into oncoming traffic to ease the misery. “And that right there is your issue.”
“No, it’s—”
He flipped the radio on and turned the volume up to drown out her voice so he wouldn’t have to talk. A sports analyst was running through the Blazers stats from last night’s game, but he barely heard what the man was saying. All he could think about was his father. About the note Gilbert had arranged to be left for Raegan and about how satisfying it would be for Alec to walk into that correctional facility and slam his fist into the fucker’s face.
He finally turned the radio down as he pulled to a stop in front of Raegan’s building. Worry settled over her features, a worry he saw from the corner of his eye but wouldn’t acknowledge.
“Why don’t you come up for a little while?” she said. “So we can talk.”
“No, I’ve g
ot things to do.”
“Alec—”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Raegan.”
Her shoulders slumped even further, and knowing he was being an ass, he drew a calming breath and tried like hell to chill out. For a few minutes. For her sake.
“When you get the next interview set up, let me know. I’ll go with you. Today, though”—he stared out the windshield—“I need to be alone.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
Probably not. But he’d lived through worse than this. “I’ll be fine.”
She stared at him. Bit her lip as if she weren’t sure whether to believe him or not. Then finally popped her door open. “Okay. I’ll text you later.”
Great. Fabulous. She was gonna check up on him as if he were a five-year-old.
She climbed out and closed the door, but she didn’t move toward her building. And unable to handle that worried, heartsick look on her face one more minute, he pulled away from the curb and followed the surface streets back to the freeway.
He didn’t breathe easier until he was halfway to Salem. Make amends. That’s what this was all about, right? And the best way to make amends with Raegan was to make sure his father stayed away from her for good.
That, above all else, was one thing he knew he could control in this nightmare that had become his life.
Raegan stood on the sidewalk long after Alec’s truck disappeared from view, worry and fear mingling inside her. More than anything she wanted to help Alec, but he wouldn’t let her in. He was pushing her away, just as he’d done three years before. And there was nothing she could do to stop him.
She went back upstairs to her apartment, tossed her purse and jacket over the back of the couch, and tried to call Jack Bickam. He didn’t answer, so she left him a message explaining what Alec had said about the note and asked him to compare the handwriting to John Gilbert’s. For the next hour she typed up notes on their meeting with Barbara Willig, then called out to the Columbia River Correctional Institution and tried to arrange a time to speak with Bob Willig, only to discover the man was in solitary confinement for attacking another inmate. It would be at least a week until he could have visitors.
The light in her apartment dimmed as dusk settled in. Unable to sit anymore, she pushed away from her laptop on the dining room table and moved into the kitchen to grab a Perrier from the fridge.
The bottle hissed as she opened it, but when she took a sip, the sparkling water did little to calm her frazzled nerves. Her gaze skipped over the apartment, and she remembered how tense Alec had been there earlier in the day.
Had he been remembering living there? She’d considered moving a dozen times after he’d left, but she’d never been able to force herself to go. She’d kept the apartment pretty much the same on purpose, because when Emma finally came home, she wanted her daughter in familiar surroundings. But she could see how that would rattle a man. Knew it was part of the reason Alec had been so off even before they’d visited the Willig woman. Especially a man who carried as much guilt as Alec did. But . . . couldn’t he see this was the only place she could be? Couldn’t he, for once, think about someone other than himself? He wasn’t the only one who’d suffered these last few years, dammit.
For a fleeting moment, she wondered what she would do if Emma never came home. Wondered what she’d do if the police ever showed up at her door to tell her they’d found Emma’s bod—
No. She wasn’t going there. Couldn’t. Recapping the bottle, she set it on the counter and moved for her coat. She needed to get out of this apartment, needed to get out of her head for a few hours. When her stomach rumbled, she remembered that she’d barely eaten today and decided she’d grab dinner out. After shoving her phone and credit card into the inside pocket of her coat, she grabbed her keys and headed for the door, ignoring the way her fingers shook and her heart raced against her ribs.
The temperature had warmed up enough so the snow had all melted, and a cool drizzle forced her to pull up her hood as she moved down the sidewalk. Oregon winters were like that, though. Frigid one minute, wet and dreary the next. As it was just after five, the sidewalks were busy with people trying to get home. Raegan moved around a young couple holding hands and told herself she’d feel better after a drink and some food. Alec would be fine too. He was a grown man, after all. He made his own decisions. She had to stop worrying about him when he clearly didn’t want her concern.
She pushed the pub doors open three blocks down and shook the rain from her hood as she stepped inside. The Irish bar had opened a few months ago, and she passed it every day on her way to work, but she’d yet to try it out. Tonight seemed like the perfect time. Bypassing the tables, she found a spot at the bar and pulled her coat off to drape over the back of her barstool.
“What can I get you?” the female bartender asked, a twentysomething attractive brunette with long hair pulled back in a messy tail.
Raegan glanced over the bottles on the shelves behind her, then finally decided to go for a Guinness. “I’ll have a dirty apple.”
“You got it. Want a menu?”
“Sure.”
The bartender went about filling Raegan’s pint glass with Guinness and cider, then set the drink in front of her. “Wave me down when you know what you want to eat.”
“Thanks.” Lifting her drink, Raegan took a sip and closed her eyes as the bitter and sweet tastes rushed over her tongue. Unlike Alec, she’d never been one for hard liquor, but she could see how a person could grow addicted to this. It had a calming effect, even just one sip, and hinted it could help you escape from the hell that was your reality if you just kept on drinking.
Raegan’s eyes opened, and she stared at the wall of bottles across from her as she thought of Alec. That was why he’d started drinking as a kid. To escape the nightmare of his childhood. He’d told her multiple times that his biological father had been an alcoholic, that alcohol had always been available in his trailer. She glanced down at her glass, remembering the way Alec had rarely drank when they were together and how after they’d lost Emma he’d turned to the bottle instead of to her. He’d been reverting back to what he’d done as a kid. What was comfortable. What was easy. Opening up to her, dealing with the pain of their reality, had definitely not been easy.
A new sense of appreciation for what he’d lived through as a child trickled through her. And when she remembered how bad things had been when they’d separated and how often he’d been drinking then, another wave of awe swept through her over the fact he’d pulled himself out of that pit.
She set her glass down. Pulled her cell from her coat pocket and stared at the screen. She wanted to text him. Wanted to make sure he was okay, but she didn’t want to push because she knew it would just send him running in the other direction. A frown pulled at her lips when she remembered the way he’d sped off today. Apparently, she didn’t even need to push to send him running. One bad day had done that without even a nudge from her.
Sighing, she lifted her drink again and took a long swallow. That was the frustrating thing about Alec McClane. He was unpredictable in a million different ways. When they’d first met, when they’d been dating—even when they’d first been married—she’d loved that about him. Now all it did was twist her heart into knots because she didn’t have a clue how to reach him.
A young couple sidled up next to her at the bar, chatting and laughing and touching each other at every opportunity. She listened to their banter for a few minutes, but when the man leaned in and kissed the woman, Raegan knew she was done for the night. The drink wasn’t making her feel any better, and her appetite was long gone. Pulling a ten from her pocket, she left it on the bar next to her half-empty glass and reached for her coat. She’d grab a sandwich from the deli around the corner and go back to her apartment. If she was lucky, she’d find a movie to veg out to on the couch. If she wasn’t lucky . . . well, then it would just be like every other night, and she’d lie awake wondering where Alec was and what
he was doing.
“You are a fool for still being so in love with the ass,” she muttered to herself as she tugged on her coat.
And she was. A giant fool, because he’d made it more than clear over the last few days that he was no longer in love with her.
She didn’t bother buttoning her coat as she stepped out of the pub. Cool air whipped across her neck and down her spine, but she didn’t care. It gave her something else to focus on besides how clueless she was.
The sidewalks had cleared out, and darkness pressed in. Moving around a homeless guy standing in a doorway, she rounded the corner and headed for the deli. She hated this side street because the overhead light had gone out last fall and the city had yet to replace it, but it was faster than taking a different route.
Footsteps sounded behind her, and a chill slid down her back. Picking up her pace, she shoved her hands into her pocket and closed them around her key ring, just in case, wanting only to get her dinner and get home so she could forget about this miserable day. Just as she reached the edge of the alley, something slammed into her from the back, sending her stumbling forward. She yelped, and her keys and cell phone went flying. Before she could cry out, a hand slapped over her mouth, and she was jerked sideways into the darkness.
She struggled against the arm at her waist and the hand over her mouth. Tried to scream but couldn’t make more than a muffled sound as she was dragged deeper into the alley. The scents of filth and cigarette smoke filled her nostrils. The person who’d grabbed her pulled her past a Dumpster and hurled her to the side.
Her body hit the cement wall of the building with a crack, and pain spiraled all across her cheek as she ricocheted off the wall and stumbled to the ground. Groaning, she tried to get up, but something hard—a knee, she realized—pressed into her spine, keeping her pinned to the ground.
“You don’t listen very well, do you, anchor girl?”
Fear consumed Raegan, and her blood turned to ice when she realized she was trapped. She opened her mouth to cry out for help, but the pressure in her back intensified, spiraling pain all through her lower half.
Gone (Deadly Secrets Book 2) Page 11
