“You should go,” the head conduit ordered.
“I’m not leaving,” Jax muttered. Pandora cast a sideways glance at him, hearing his teeth grind.
“And I’m not asking,” the conduit said forcefully, choosing that moment to glance pointedly out the door of the van toward the punisher conduit waiting close by. As if on cue, flames danced over the conduit’s fingers—deadly hot.
“Go,” Pandora whispered. Remembering the fight back at the graveyard and the conduit boy who’d ended up thrown against a wall, she added, “And be nice.”
Jax eyed her stubbornly, shaking his head. But she implored, and outside, the punisher conduit took a step closer, gaze turning toward the van. Jax reluctantly exited the vehicle, leaving Pandora alone with the head conduit.
"We've reached the outer edge of Sonnyville," he told her, all business. "A member of the council is on his way to question you before we drop the defenses and open the gate to let you inside. We like to question all vamps and visitors alone. It'll be a few more minutes."
“Aren’t you worried those vamps from before will come back while we’re just waiting here like sitting ducks? Shouldn’t we do this part, I don’t know, after we’re sure we’re all safe?”
The conduit eyed her coolly. “We are waiting until we’re sure we’re all safe,” he said matter-of-factly, making Pandora fully aware she wasn’t included in that we—that she was the thing they needed to be sure they were safe from. “Besides,” he continued, “it’s been a long time since any vamp thought to challenge us this close to our home turf. No vamp, not even a gang of a hundred bloodsuckers, would survive a fight here.”
Pandora gulped. "Well, if we’re waiting, could you at least give me like an inch of breathing room to stretch? These seats aren’t as comfortable as you might think."
The conduit didn’t respond, but she felt his fire ease up the slightest amount, not quite touching her skin, giving her an ounce of space to move. Pandora took it, rolling her shoulders, twisting her neck, shifting her balance. And before she knew it, the fire was back in full force, nailing her to the seat.
"Hello," someone said, tone deep with an authoritative timbre. He eased into the van, revealing that the voice belonged to an older man with a head of white hair and balding patches, with a face full of wrinkles that was hard-set and focused, and a frame that was once strong and still spoke of power despite the cane. "I'm Councilman Peters. What brings you to us today?"
Pandora licked her lips, almost nervous as he took her in, his eyes filling with the barest hint of pity. Throat dry, she murmured, "I want the cure."
He tapped his cane on the floor, thinking as he narrowed his eyes. "And why didn’t you go through the normal channels? Why didn’t you have conduits bring you in? For the past three years, the procedure has been to ask for sanctuary from a local conduit branch so they can bring you here in secret, avoiding the sort of flashy, public, potentially fatal display that went on this afternoon. You were lucky a patrol happened to spot you, lucky we sent one out today."
She gazed at him, hesitant. "Um, well…" Pandora glanced through the open door, trying to locate Jax, unsure what story she should tell. But he was gone, being questioned by someone else. "I didn't know?"
She smiled lamely. But really, what could she say? Oh, maybe because I've been brought here against my will by my ex-boyfriend, who is stalking me and trying to get me to come home, which I'm not going to do. And there's this other guy following me who might be a figment of my imagination, but he says I need the cure too. And even though I'm here, and even though they both think I should get the cure, I'm still not really sure I should actually be cured. So, it's highly possible I might launch an escape attempt at any moment. So, yeah…that's why I didn’t come the normal way.
Right, because that would land her an invite into the conduit safe haven and stronghold.
Sure…
The councilman hardened his expression, green eyes darkening a shade as he grew suspicious. "Why are you really here?"
Crap. Crap.
Part of her wanted the cure, part of her was totally confused, and part of her was still one hundred percent positive she needed to remain a vampire. But all of her understood that if the conduits thought she was trying to break into their secret town to launch a murderous vampy rampage, she'd be dead before she even saw the punisher fire coming.
"Kira told me to come," Pandora exclaimed, suddenly remembering the girl and the graveyard and the invitation. If that really had been the Kira, the one to discover the cure, surely dropping her name would mean something? Right?
But Councilman Peters just pursed his lips, mistrust growing.
The conduit still dousing her in his fire snorted. "Really? You expect us to believe that?"
"It's the truth," she spat back, forgetting for a moment that her life was literally in his flame-expelling hands.
"Sure it is," he replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "She came to you in a dream, right? Or maybe her voice spoke through you, telling you it was time to change, that you could be better, be more. We've had more vampires getting visions and hallucinations of Kira than you can even imagine, so I'd think of a better story, fast."
Pandora wrinkled her nose at him. "Oh yeah?" she retorted, wishing she could move just enough to throw some more attitude behind her words. "What about this? I saw her five days ago in New York City. She was sent there to work with the head vampire of New York on a top secret mission to help him track down a vampire thief. Just in case you're too thick to see where this is going, I'll spell it out. That thief was me. And right before she handed me over, she told me that if I got away, I could come here, I could find her, and she'd help me because she owed me one. Have you heard that story before?"
Smartass, she added silently.
The conduit's jaw dropped.
And then he quickly picked it back up off the floor and swallowed slowly, unable to speak from the shock.
Pandora grinned smugly.
But Councilman Peters dramatically rolled his eyes as if asking the heavens for patience and shook his head with a heavy sigh, mumbling something about a girl always getting herself into trouble. Then he glanced over his shoulder, shouting to someone outside the van. "Get my granddaughter."
Granddaughter? Pandora's eyes widened.
Yet, sure enough, ten minutes later a familiar blonde head poked through the open door, its owner casually saying, "Hey, Grandpa. What's up?" And then she looked around the van, nodding to the other conduit before settling her fiery green gaze on Pandora. After a moment, her eyelids widened in surprise, and a smile broke out across her lips. "You got away! That was fast."
Pandora shrugged. "Being a prisoner just isn’t really my style," she responded, glaring pointedly at the conduit still trapping her in his fire. That's your cue to let me go!
He didn’t.
Kira lifted a pointed brow. "Yeah, I can see that."
Pandora frowned. "Could you just tell them you invited me already?"
But instead of saying anything, Kira jumped into the van and took a seat, staring at Pandora intensely. "Why are you here?"
Oh, come on. This again? Pandora sighed. "I want the cure."
"When I saw you a few days ago, the cure seemed like the absolute last thing on your mind," Kira said, leaning forward, so her elbows rested on her knees, staring through the fire, eyes pinning Pandora to the spot even more than the flames. "What changed?"
"I learned some things," Pandora told her, totally honest for the first time that day. "Found out some information that gave me new perspective."
Kira pulled her lower lip in, then chewed for a moment while she thought. "And you want this? You? That titan guy pouting outside, itching to break his way into the van, isn’t forcing you? Because the transition isn’t always easy—you need to want it or it might not work."
Pandora swallowed.
Did she want this?
She'd spent four years running away, running from everyone
, running from the cure, running from any path that might have even the slightest chance of turning toward home. The cure could be the best decision of her life. Or it could be the worst. If her memories of that long-ago night returned, they could break her all over again, could ruin all the walls she'd tried to build around her heart, could shatter all the resolve she'd spent so much time strengthening.
Did she want the cure?
Yes. She wanted it. Wanting the cure had never been her problem. Even if she never admitted it to herself, Pandora had been dreaming of a cure since the day she woke up lusting for blood.
But could she live with being cured?
Would she survive finally facing the night she'd spent four years running from? Would she be able to look Jax in the eye when she finally remembered every little detail of what he'd done? Or would Sam be right? Would she call out for him, needing someone to help push her forward, to make sure she kept running, when all she wanted was to lie down in a ball and cry?
There was only one way to find out.
Remember.
The word slid across her mind.
Whether real or just a figment of her imagination, Sam had been right.
It was finally time to remember.
Pandora looked directly into Kira's eyes, totally sure, and said, "Yes. I want the cure."
"Great!" Kira jumped up. "Follow me."
"Kira," the councilman chided, his voice so adoringly serious it could only be used with family.
She tossed a look over her shoulder. "What, Grandpa? I've got this, trust me. She's fine. We don't need to go through the whole long, arduous process of making sure she's not a crazy, evil, insane vampire on the loose." And then she turned back around, muttering in a voice only Pandora's supervamp ears could pick up. "You make one little mistake, and they never let it go…"
The councilman nodded to the conduit still waiting patiently with fire spewing from his hands. A second later, Pandora was free. Before they could change their minds, she zipped out of the car.
"Dory!" Jax called from the side of the road, relief heavy in his voice. Using his superior strength, he severed the hold two guys had on him and ran over. "Are you okay? What'd you say?"
Attention on the asphalt beneath her feet as she kept walking, Pandora said, "I told them I want the cure."
Jax reached down and latched on to her fingers, then stopped them both as he spun her around, forcing her to meet his sharply inquisitive, hopeful eyes. "You mean it?"
"Yeah," she whispered, holding his gaze as her throat squeezed tight, burning.
But Jax didn't see the fear pass over her eyes, the dread that came with not knowing, the terror of wondering if she'd ever look at him the same way again. He was too busy with his own joy to notice the lack of any in her gaze. His eyes were shining too bright to see the darkness in hers.
"You really mean it?" he asked, gushing. And then he swallowed as his expression seemed to harden, as he seemed to finally register that her reaction wasn't quite the same as his, wasn't as excited as he thought it would be. He coughed, pushing his emotions away, closing himself off. And then he spoke again in a much more rigid voice, a tone she really couldn't read or place. "What changed your mind? Not that I ever doubted my skills, of course. I'm just curious."
You.
She wanted to say it, wanted to give him the one thing he wanted to hear. But she didn’t. Because he wasn't the reason. Sure, seeing him again had stirred things in her that she'd forgotten existed. Had warmed a heart she'd thought had frozen over. But if it had been totally up to him, Pandora would still be running.
Remember.
That one little word playing over and over in the back of her mind for the past hour and a half, that was the reason. Because while at first it was Sam's dark and dangerous, silky-smooth whisper, now it was her own voice, pleading and begging, urging her to go back to that night, to break down the wall and relive the memories, to understand why she'd run and why she needed to keep running.
No, Jax wasn't the reason.
Jax was the opposite of a reason.
Because her heart wanted to stay in the bubble, this place where she didn't remember his betrayal, couldn't vividly picture it in her mind, and could, therefore, pretend it maybe didn’t really exist. Could listen to his sultry voice, his sweet, sweet words, and believe for a moment that they were real. Loving Jax was the reason she wanted to turn and run right now. Because she knew, deep down she knew, that the second she was cured the spell would be broken, that the love that once gave her life would vanish, that she'd be left colder and more hollow than ever before. She knew that the second she was cured, she'd just keep running farther and farther away from him—the only difference was she'd be a little bit slower when she did.
Pandora didn’t answer Jax.
She looked into his saltwater eyes and remained silent, holding back all the things she was too afraid to say, because right now they were unfounded doubts, but as soon as she said them, they'd be real. They'd be good-bye. And the very idea terrified her much more than an eternity as a vampire ever would.
A second later, she was saved.
"Who are the newbies?" a voice asked.
Pandora and Jax turned to see a tall blond boy had joined them on the road, placing a protective arm across Kira's shoulders, hugging her close to his side. Immediately, she recognized him from the graveyard. What was his name?
"Luke," Kira murmured affectionately but then cringed, suddenly hesitant. "Um, you've sort of met them before."
"I have?" he asked, brows coming together as he lifted his gaze, fiery irises turning from the bright sparkle of adoration to a dull sort of confusion and finally to sharp fury. "You're the jerk who threw me against a wall!"
Jax put his hands up in a sign of peace, taking a step back. "It wasn't personal, man."
Luke reached up and rubbed the back of his head, wincing a little as his fingers must have grazed a sore spot. "It felt pretty personal to me. Still does."
"Let's not dwell on the past," Kira said, jumping in quickly, nudging Luke and tossing a pleading expression up toward him. "They've come for the cure, they're turning a new leaf, and they need our help."
Luke held her gaze, almost as though they were having a silent battle of wits. And then his shoulders slumped in, and he sighed, the sort of heavy breath that made Pandora think he'd been in this situation too many times before.
"Luke Bowrey," he mumbled, offering his hand.
Jax shook it. "Jackson Rodriguez. Great to meet you."
And then the conduit boy turned to her. "Invisible vampire thief?"
"It’s probably easier to just call me Pandora." She grinned.
"Nah," he said, waving a hand through the air. "I have a thing about nicknames, and this is great material to work with. The disappearing klepto. Sticky fangs. Ooh, the nimble nibbler. Right? Right?"
The nimble nibbler? Pandora stared at him blankly. What have I gotten myself into?
But Kira jumped in before she could respond. "As fun as Luke's nickname game is, we should go. Because the UV wall just turned off, and my grandpa is getting that stubborn look in his eyes that says it might not stay that way for long. And while the man walks with a cane, he's surprisingly quick with his fire."
Pandora didn’t need to hear any more. Following Kira's lead, she turned away from the van, for the first time taking note of the iron gate blocking the road and the immense stone wall cutting through the trees to either side. The gates were wide open, but Pandora had heard enough stories to know that by no means meant it was safe. And even thought Kira had said the UV wall was off, Pandora wanted a little more assurance. It was, after all, an infamous invisible barrier pulsing through the stones and shooting fifty feet high that was capable of burning vamps to dust in less than a second.
Kira walked through the entrance first, followed by Luke, followed by Jax.
Pandora waited, hesitant, eying the structure. And then she reached her hand through fast, cringing in ex
pectation of the heat. But there was nothing.
"I said it was off," Kira called across the barrier. "The thing is a freaking energy drain. We only keep it on when we know vamps are close."
"I believe you," Pandora said halfheartedly—wouldn't be the first time this girl had pulled a fast one on her. She had handed her over to Tatsuya, after all. "I just wanted to make sure, given our recent history."
And then she walked through the entrance.
Nothing burned.
Nothing stung.
Pandora nodded to herself, reassured. But when she looked up, Kira was rolling her eyes with a slight scowl.
Sensing the mood shift, Luke stepped in, facing Pandora and spreading his arms wide. "Welcome to Sonnyville, where the sun is hot, but the people are hotter…literally."
She stared at him blankly again.
"Oh, come on," he said, looking at all three of them. "That was a great one. Because we're conduits, and we shoot fire out of our hands? Hot, hotter? Get it?"
"Dude," Jax said pityingly.
Kira patted Luke on the arm, shaking her head gently as his expression fell in slow motion, drooping into a sullen pout. "No, just no."
"But…"
Kira kept shaking her head.
Luke sighed. And then just as quickly, his seemingly perpetually happy grin was back. "The nimble nibbler, though, that was a good one. You've got to give me props for that one."
Kira's mouth twitched, hinting at a smile as she fought to stay straight-faced and failed. "Okay," she relented, half laughing as she spoke. "That was a good one."
Pandora grimaced. I don't belong here. These people are too freaking cheerful. Too much sun is bad for the brain.
Her gaze flicked toward Jax and she noticed that he had an equally doubtful look in his eyes. But before she could comment, Kira's voice interrupted.
"Okay, enough dillydallying. Let's go get our cure on."
"Wait," Pandora blurted. "Right now?"
Kira looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, right now. We're not really in the habit of letting vamps have free rein of our home until they're fang free—even if I owe you a favor. So, let's head over to the reintegration center. Most vamps don't even remember anything when they wake up, so we don’t like to waste time. A quick intro, some fire, and voila, you're cured. That's when the real work begins."
Frost (Midnight Ice Book One) Page 19