by C. A. Harms
“We need to talk,” I said as I stepped to the side, hoping he understood we needed to go inside.
Easton nodded as Brutus nudged his way around us. He took a seat on the arm of the couch, and Brutus stepped up to his side and sat back on his hind legs. “Traitor,” I muttered, and Easton patted his head.
“I’m sorry. I had a bad night and—”
I held up my hand. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just a little stressed about the club,” he insisted.
His obvious lies pissed me off. “Over the last week and a half, I’ve watched you go from this sweet, relaxed guy, to this.” I waved my hand as if that was explanation enough.
“‘This’?”
“Yes, you’re high-strung, moody. You’re sidetracked, and half the time it’s like you’re someplace else. When you do talk to me, I get one word answers and the occasional grunt. Ninety percent of the time I have to continuously repeat myself because you aren’t listening.” His eyes narrowed, but I didn’t give a shit if I was pissing him off. “When we have sex, you’re so different. You take what you need but in such a demanding, domineering way. It’s like a race to the finish line, and you lose me at the halfway mark.”
“Oh, so now the sex isn’t good enough, either?” He stood up from the chair arm he was perched on.
“Oh my God. Out of all of that, sex is the only thing you got?” I threw my hands up in the air. “You’re secretive and distant. I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but I feel like we were doing something great here, and now I’m not so sure.”
“Me? I’m secretive? I’m holding back?” His voice echoed throughout the room, and Brutus cocked his head to the side. “You hide behind your past. You won’t tell me what happened, but you can tell everyone else. I’m the one with you. I’m the guy that’s working to make something with you.”
He took another step in my direction, and I took a step back. “See? Right there.” He waved his hand outward. “Will you ever truly let me in? Or will I forever be on the sideline beating my head against the fucking wall? You talk about me hiding things, what about you? Why can’t you open up to me? Why can’t you let me in?”
My chest was heaving in anger and in fear. Not fear of Easton; I knew he would never hurt me. I was afraid of him knowing my past and looking at me in a whole different way. It was a fear I had since the moment I started feeling more than just lust for him.
“You can’t stand here in my living room and yell at me for hiding things when you’re doing the same damn thing,” he said.
How did we get here? Just a few weeks ago things were amazing, hot, and new. Now here we stood, glaring at one another. I felt that impending doom, the darkness that overtakes the light and leaves the immense pain inside you.
“There is a difference, Easton. You’re hiding things that are happening now. I just can’t find the courage to relive my past. You can’t compare the two,” I said, pushing back just as hard. Only I was barely hanging on. I could feel the tears burning my eyes and the burn in my chest rising up through my throat.
I had to get out of there.
“Brutus, come,” I said, my voice already cracking. He stayed tucked against Easton’s leg. “Now, Brutus.” I used my more confident, demanding voice, or at least I attempted to. Even I could hear the heavy vibration in it.
“Harper,” Easton said softly. He reached out and I shook my head. I didn’t want him to come any closer. In fact, I wanted to turn and run, but damn it, I wanted my dog to come with me.
I smacked at the side of my leg, “Come on, buddy, let’s go bye-bye.”
Brutus stood and took one step in my direction only to once again sit down at Easton’s feet.
“You even somehow managed to brainwash my dog,” I said as I turned around and rushed from his house. The tears spilled over just as I made it to my car.
“Harper, wait,” he yelled after me. “Please just wait a minute.”
I yanked open the door and climbed in as quickly as I could manage before slamming it in his face. As I looked up toward his condo, there sat my dog, showing no signs of wanting to leave.
With my vision blurring from my tears, I backed out of the driveway and drove away, not giving in to the temptation to look back.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Easton
I hung my head and let out an irritated growl. “What a fucking asshole,” I said, cursing myself.
I turned back to the house and stopped quickly, stumbling over my own feet. It hadn’t even clicked until that moment that Brutus had stayed behind.
He was a huge-ass dog, 150-some pounds of pure muscle. Suddenly I was frozen. What the hell was I supposed to do with him?
I knew the chances of me getting Harper to turn around and come back to get him were slim. Hell, I doubted I would even get her to answer my call. That left me with minimal choices.
After giving myself a much-needed pep talk, I dialed Jett’s number and braced myself for his fury.
“What’s up?” he said in a rush.
“Hey, man, you busy?” Who was I kidding? The guy was always busy.
“I was thinking of trying to cut out of here a little early. Maybe take my fiancée out for a change,” he said, and I could sense his smile as he said the word.
“Yeah.” I took in a deep breath before going for it. “I was hoping that, um, you could help me out with something.”
“Why does it sound like I’m not gonna like whatever it is you’re about to ask?”
“Because you’re not,” I replied.
A silent pause stretched out between us before he finally spoke again. “I’m waiting.”
“Do you think you could come and get Brutus? He sort of freaks me out.” I looked down at him, and he arched his head like he was asking me what the hell my problem was.
“How the hell did you get Brutus?”
Hanging my head once more, I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes tightly. “Harper and I got into an argument and she left in a hurry.”
“I’m on my way.” The click of the phone echoed in my ear. I really hated the thought of being face-to-face with Jett when he found out she left here in tears.
Maybe I should leave that little detail out, for my own safety.
***
I carefully lured Brutus out into the backyard with a piece of beef jerky. I made sure to hold it at a distance from my body for fear of him mistaking me for part of the meal and taking off one of my limbs. When the doorbell began ringing over and over, I slipped in through the back door and closed it quickly. I was sure that if Brutus had to make a choice between me and Jett, he would surely feast on me. So safely tucked away in the backyard while chowing away on chucks of jerky was the best place for him to be. At least until I found out which way this conversation was going to go.
“You have thirty seconds to tell me why the hell my sister, the girl who is tougher than most guys I know, is at my mother’s house in tears,” he said as he stormed in, clipping me with his shoulder before spinning around to glare back at me. I could see the anger in his eyes. He had told me very clearly not to hurt Harper, and in some way I had.
“She’s pregnant.” It rushed out of me before I could stop it.
“What?”
Oh shit. “No, damn, not Harper.” His face grew angrier, and I stepped back, holding up my hands. “Hear me out.” I took in a deep breath. “Sarah’s pregnant and she says it’s mine.”
Jett’s fist connected with my cheek before I could stop it. I stumbled back and knocked over the table near the door.
“Fuck,” I groaned. I lunged at him and we both fell to the floor. “Will you fucking wait a minute?” I demanded.
“You cheat on my sister and knock up some girl, and now you want to tell me to wait a minute?” he bellowed.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and held him securely, attempting to regain some control. “I didn’t cheat on Harper. I haven’t been with Sarah in over two
months—hell, closer to three. She’s just now telling me.” He was still trying to overpower me. “Damn it, Jett, will you fucking listen to me? I didn’t cheat on your sister.”
He relaxed, and I carefully released the pressure I was putting on his neck. “That is the reason I’ve been so stressed. The reason I’ve been distant.” I let go of him completely and backed away. “Harper doesn’t know. But she did call me out on my attitude, and shit got wild real fast. We threw around a bunch of words and she stormed off. Leaving behind him.” I pointed at the back door.
Brutus sat with his nose only inches from the window, his breath leaving a wet ring on the glass.
“So why the hell is she crying? She never fucking cries,” Jett said.
“Because when she demanded to know my secrets, I told her she had them too.” I stood up and reached out to help him from the floor. “I was an ass. I’m not proud of the way I pushed. I was trying to make a point, and in the end it backfired.”
“You think?” he said as he went toward the back door and slid open the glass. Brutus strutted in like he owned the place.
“I fucked up.” My throat tightened. “The last thing I wanted was for it to go the way it did. Knowing that she left here in tears…” I shook my head. “I need to fix this. I need to come clean and tell her about Sarah.”
Jett took a seat at the bar next to me.
“I was hoping I would find out that Sarah was lying like she always does and I wouldn’t have to taint what Harper and I have. I was too worried about losing her, and in the end, it happened anyway.”
“How do you know you’ve lost her?” he asked. “Maybe she just needs to know the truth.”
We sat in silence as the sound of Brutus’s heavy breathing filled the room.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Harper
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” my mother asked as she sat down on the couch beside me.
“I’m fine, Mom, really,” I assured her. “You can stop worrying. I just had a girl moment. Everything hit me at once, and I’m okay now.”
“Talking about it sometimes helps.” I knew she was pushing for details, but I still wasn’t sure myself about exactly what had led up to the fallout between Easton and me.
I guess secrets—or in my case, avoidance of the truth behind the mask—always lead to trouble.
“I know you don’t like to talk about it, Harper. I know you like to pretend it never happened, but look where that has gotten you. You’re angry and closed off. You judge every man you come into contact with before you even give them a chance to prove their worth.”
I looked up at my mother and remained tight-lipped. The last thing I wanted to do was lash out at her and prove her point.
“Why haven’t you told Easton about your past? You know he knows something happened.”
I took in a deep breath to calm my churning stomach. Every time he brought up my past when we were together, I would change the subject. I didn’t want to do anything to taint his image of me. I didn’t want him to look at me like I was a victim. The way he treated me now was too good to let go of. I feared after he knew everything, things between us would get strange.
“I’m scared to. I don’t want to tarnish the way he feels about me or how he looks at me,” I confessed.
My mother gripped my chin and turned my head in her direction. Her eyes focused on mine as she gave me the most loving look. “Sweetheart, you need to give that man some credit. Being honest with him, confiding in him, and sharing what has made you into the woman you are today…” She leaned in a little closer to brush the hair from my face. “All of that is only going to assure him that his initial perception of how strong you are was accurate.”
I closed my eyes tightly and nodded. It was all I could give her at the moment. I knew she was right. If I wanted to move forward with Easton, if I wanted the possibility of a future with him, I had to let go of my past.
***
I spent the afternoon at my parents’ house, tucked away in my old bedroom. I just wanted some time to get my head on straight, to regain my bearings.
Jett had called my mom and told her that he had Brutus. My heart ached, knowing that Easton had pushed him off on someone else. Maybe that was his way of saying he was over what we’d had. I tried to push the thought out of my mind. Until I heard him say the words, I would not accept them.
A light knock on the bedroom door had me curling into the mattress. I just wanted a little more time to myself before I had to face the world.
As the door creaked open I focused on my breathing, hoping to give off the impression that I was sleeping.
When the bed dipped behind me, I held my breath. I could smell him, and why that made my chest tighten and tears prick at my eyes, I wasn’t sure.
Easton placed his hand on my hip and squeezed gently. “Harper,” he whispered, and my throat burned. “Baby, wake up.”
I was pissed at myself the moment my lower lip began to tremble. I opened my eyes and twisted just enough to look back at him. He looked torn, unsure of what his next move should be. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
I nodded, and he instantly leaned over, wrapped his arms around me, and held me close. “I need to fix this,” he said against my neck before kissing me softly. “There’s some things I need you to know.”
“Me too,” I said in return. It was time.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Easton
Harper and I sat outside my condo in the backyard. I had convinced her to come home with me. I knew tonight was going to be rough for the both of us. But if we wanted to move forward together, we both had to do this.
“My aunt’s stepson took advantage of me,” she said, and a burning sensation hit me deep in my gut. “When I was visiting her the summer before I started high school.”
I tried to reach out for her hand, but she shook her head and forced a smile. “If you touch me right now, I won’t be able to finish. I’m barely hanging on here, and I don’t want to cry.”
“Okay.” That didn’t stop my urge to hold her, but I understood. I had to fist my hands in my lap to keep them busy as she continued.
“He was older, and at first the attention was flattering. I was still in my nerdy phase.” She rolled her eyes, as if to make light of her emotions. “Each night, he would sneak into the room I was sleeping in. Mostly he would just kiss me or occasionally touch my hair or my face. It was new to me, but I never minded it.”
Harper lifted her beer and took a sip before lowering it back to her lap. “One night, the last night before I was supposed to go home, he took things further than he ever had before. When I tried to stop him, he only got angry. He overpowered me, and there was no one else at home to stop it.”
My heart fucking ached. I knew what she’d gone through had to be bad, but hearing it and watching her as she told me, shattered me.
“He told me not to tell anyone. He said they wouldn’t believe me because I allowed him to come to my room every night. At first I believed him. He was right, I did let him touch me, night after night. But I never asked for him to hurt me. I never asked for him take it that far. In fact, I told him to stop more than once that night.” She quickly took another drink.
“I didn’t say anything until my parents showed up to get me with Jett. He was home from college, and so as soon as I saw my brother, something in me snapped. I rushed to him, and right there in the middle of my aunt’s living room, with everyone standing around, I told Jett all that had happened.
“Everything went crazy at that point. You know my dad, he’s not the aggressive type. But he ran for Mark, and Jett had to pull him off.” She set the beer on the small table to her left and began twisting the ring on her finger.
“Mark paid for what he did. He was charged and served time, because he was legally an adult. But what he did still changed me. I became angry and distant. I built up the attitude to mask the devastation. It was easier to be sarcas
tic and pissy than to admit I was falling apart on the inside.”
Harper shrugged and once again forced a grin. “So I became this version of me. The girl who accepts that men are liars, cheaters, and nothing but disappointment because you can’t trust them.”
Her eyes glistened, and I could sense her fighting back the need to let go. I wanted to hold her; I needed to hold her.
I slid forward and knelt on the ground before her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled her forward. We stayed in that position, me just holding her close, breathing her in. We never spoke, just felt.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I had to have this moment first.
“I don’t want you to look at me differently. I can’t handle you changing the way you treat me,” she confessed.
I pulled back enough to be able to look up into her gorgeous eyes. “You mean so much to me,” I said. “The relationship between you and me may be new, but I’ve always known you were a strong woman. That will never change, I promise you.”
She placed her hands on each side of my face, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to mine. She rested her forehead against mine and took a moment to calm herself. “I should have told you about this already,” she whispered.
“You told me now. That’s all that matters.”
***
I held her close for the next hour as we sat curled up on my couch, just enjoying taking comfort in each other.
I knew it was my turn now to tell her what I had been hiding. I just hoped she would be able to handle the possibility of my life changing forever.
“I hate to burst this bubble we’re in, but um…” I took in a deep breath. “I think you deserve to hear what I’ve been fighting too.”
“Yeah, I know.” She curled in a little tighter, burying her face against my chest. “I’m ready.”
I chuckled. “Are you gonna stay like that the whole time?”
