by Ford, Brenda
Oh God, it felt so good to have him inside of me when I was on all fours. He pushed all the way in me, I could feel so much of him, and it was incredible. I will never forget the sensation of his balls hitting my ass with every single thrust. I’m there all over again as I brush my clit fast. Back in exactly the same position and I love it. I love it so much that I almost dive out the shower and claim him all over again. I would if I could move, but right now I’m eager for the pleasure and I won’t stop until I can get it.
“Oh God,” I groan, my hair flicking droplets of water all over my back. “Fuck, Oliver.”
“You’re thinking of me?” His voice shocks me to the core. I immediately stop everything that I’m doing and stare at him, unsure what I’m supposed to do now. This is a little embarrassing… at least it should be, but actually it’s kinda hot. He’s been secretly watching me touch myself while I’ve been thinking of him.
“Come in with me, why don’t you?” I purr. “Then I won’t have to just think of you.”
I sound like a sexual goddess, like I know exactly what I’m doing, which is hot as well. I’m turning myself on more by the moment, which is awesome. It gives me an intense power that I just want to grab with both hands.
Without answering me, he tears his top off and strips down his clothing, while keeping his eyes fixed on me the entire time. I slip my fingers back between my legs and I massage gently.
“You have no idea how sexy you look right now,” he says firmly. “It’s too much.”
“Mmm, well I could say exactly the same about you.” I step back to make room for him, which he instantly fills with his thick muscular body. “But then you are always gorgeous. You know that.”
“I don’t know that…” he starts, but before he can begin putting himself down, I grab his arm and drag him to me, kissing him with absolutely everything inside of me. All the passion that I’ve tried to lock away comes flying free… possibly even more so than last night. I need him to know how badly I want him.
He claims me with his lips, giving me just as much as I am. I slide my hands down his naked chest, loving the wetness of his abs. They’re hard and firm, yet easy to slip my fingers all over which creates goose bumps popping everywhere, all over me. Even the heat of the water does nothing to stop them from arriving. The moan vibrating in my throat allows my hands to fall down further, over his stomach, grazing over that sexy as hell V muscle of his, all the way until his cock is resting between my fingers. His cock throbs with need, adding even more of a spark to flame. The slack jawed expression on his face buzzes in me, the desire deepening.
“Oh, fucking hell, Ellie,” he groans while gripping on to my shoulders. “That feels so damn good.”
I move harder and faster making him fall apart. He bucks his hips towards me, shuddering violently as the pleasure rockets through him. He’s crazed, I can see the flames dancing in his gaze, he wants me more by the second, which only fires me up even more. God, I’m about to fall apart.
“I want you,” I growl while nipping on the soaking wet skin of his throat. “You are so sexy, Oliver.”
When I’m with him like this, it’s easy to forget that tomorrow isn’t promised. That we still don’t know what’s going to happen between us. I can just live in the moment, enjoying being with him. Especially when he’s closing off any rational part of my brain causing me to be a slave to the phenomenal sensations rocking through me.
“You sound desperate,” he groans. “I like it when you sound all desperate.”
“You want me to beg, huh?” I lean in closer and nibble on his lips. “Well, I’m not going to. You should beg me if anything. I don’t think I have ever heard you beg for me like that before.”
“You want me to beg you? Ooh, I like the idea of that. Please, Ellie. Please, make love to me.”
The words ‘make love’ makes my heart stop beating for a moment. I practically crumble and fall apart. It might even just be the word ‘love’ because I’m pretty scared that I might feel that love for him. Even if it’s wrong, I can’t stop it coming. It fills me up and damn near knocks me to the ground.
I spin quickly and press my palms flat on the soaking wet tiles, poking my ass out to him. It might not exactly be like it was last night, but it’s close enough for us both to reminisce while creating new memories as well. He comes up behind me, his breaths fast and ragged, and presses himself against me. His steel rod pushes against my ass, demanding attention, as do his hands that cup around the front of me and grab my breasts, but I’m happy for just a second to enjoy the feeling of his body next to mine. That illicit love flowing.
It isn’t long before the passion gets the better of us and he slips inside, filling me up. I toss my head back and scream, absolutely loving the feeling of us connecting like this. It’s fucking wonderful. Particularly when his fingers travel down from my breasts and begin circling my clit. He’s touching me even better than I was touching myself only seconds before. The graze of his silky velvety touch combined with the strong thrusts coming from behind are almost overwhelming. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep myself in check.
“Oliver, I… I…” Shit, as the pressure of pleasure grips me, I can feel the words spilling out. Words I’m not ready to say aloud yet because they could quite easily shatter me and make me crumble. “I… lo…”
Thankfully, that’s the moment the waves of hot bliss circle me. They take my brain and my body and turn them in too much. I don’t even know how I’m still holding myself upright with the slippery floor beneath me, but with the help of Oliver it’s all going well. I don’t know how long that will last because he seems to be drowning under the waters of gorgeous pleasure with me. We’re being consumed together, our chests growling with it, both of us tumbling hard and fast towards the edge. The idea of losing it at the same time is too much.
“Fuck!” My body trembles as the orgasm tears through me. Lightening bolts heat up my core, I scream as the endless waves just keep on coming. Every thrust hits me, buckling my knees, knocking me hard against the wall and I love it. It’s a sensation that I never want to end. “Oh my God, Oliver, that is… you are…”
The louder I scream; the tighter Oliver wraps his arms around me. My walls contract around him, coaxing the orgasm from him too, and he explodes like a volcano inside of me. I adore every noise that comes out of his mouth, it makes me feel deeper connected to him than ever before.
I don’t want to lose him, I realize. I want to keep him forever… somehow.
Chapter Thirty-One
Oliver
I munch the food in silence, pretty much avoiding any sort of conversation with Brad while I think. I can feel his beady eyes on me, needing me to tell him what’s going on, but I can’t share more. It was bad enough telling him everything the first time around. I don’t think he’ll like what I’ve done now.
“Come out with it,” he eventually barks. “Tell me what’s going on. You have that look on your face.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. “I don’t have any look.”
“What have you done? You’ve done something for sure. You have made a mess of things.”
“Am I that predictable?” I want to laugh but it’s far too close to the truth for my liking.
“Yes, you are. I mean, it was pretty clear that you were going to end up making another mistake.”
“But I’m usually so sensible,” I insist. “I’m not one for making big mistakes. Not until now.”
“That’s because you haven’t ever been in love before. Love makes you do crazy things.”
“Love?” I want to scoff, but again, Brad has hit the nail on the head. “I don’t know much about love…”
“Which one is it?” he demands. “I think that I know the answer to this already, but which one is it?”
I hang my head low. I don’t want to get in to this conversation, but it seems like Brad is going to drag it out of me regardless. It did feel
good to talk to him before, but I don’t know about now.
“I slept with Ellie,” I admit. “I went to clear my head after work yesterday, like you told me to, and I walked in to this random coffee shop where she was working. Behind the counter. It was weird like something had brought us together. And I remember what you said to me about having a closure chat, so I started that. I asked her to meet me after she finished work, which she agreed to. We agreed to basically just be friends. Sort of. I don’t think any of us really thought that was going to work, I assumed we would go our separate ways, but that was how we left it. Well, until I walked her home and we ended up kissing… then having sex.”
“Wow.” Brad sits back and stares at me in shock. “I can’t believe that. You must have some serious chemistry if you can’t keep away from one another like that. It must be pretty intense.”
“That isn’t really the point though, is it?” I shoot back wryly. “It shouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t matter how much I like her or how much chemistry there is.” Although even the thought of the chemistry sends a shiver tearing down my spine. “She’s still too young for me, and Rosie wouldn’t like it.”
“But if Rosie really cares about you and her, then she ultimately won’t mind. It might hurt her for a bit, but I don’t think she will care forever. In fact, it will probably give her the closure that she should find someone else.”
“That seems a bit cruel, Brad. Do you really think that’s the best way to do things?”
He pauses thoughtfully for a moment before answering me. “You know what I think? That our parents passed away at thirty five years old. They didn’t know that car crash was coming, but it did regardless. They left behind six children on top of everything else. But they left this planet with love. It isn’t great and it was far too young for them to go, but they had each other.” I don’t know what he’s getting at here but I’m more than prepared to listen. “They were clear evidence that life is too short. Life can end at any time. Do you really think that you should hold back on anything with the example that they set for you?”
“Are you basically telling me to go for it?” I ask wryly. “Because I don’t know what sort of advice that is.”
“What, be happy? That’s the best advice ever. Follow your heart, do what feels right.”
God, all those words sound so good. So good. But it’s idealistic. People can’t just do what they want all the time without considering the feelings of other people. Everyone would be hurt all the time. Yes, I know that our parents died young, and life is definitely too short, but this seems like a step too far.
“I don’t know, Brad. I will have to think about it, to be honest. I need to start thinking with my brain rather than… well, my body. Because sleeping with Ellie without any clear cut knowledge of where we’re going to end up, definitely wasn’t thinking with my brain.”
“You went with your gut.” Brad shrugs as if that’s obvious. “That’s okay as well.”
I take those words with me as I wash up my dish. I think about how good it feels to go with my gut, but I don’t think I will be able to just go in a care free manner again. I know now what I should have done is had a discussion with Ellie this morning before I left, but she was in such a rush to get to work that we didn’t have time. I should have made time because now we’re in a worse situation that before. Now neither of us know what we’re doing. I will have to schedule in some time to think with my head and ignore my body. I will have to fight every instinct inside of me. Maybe the best way to do that is to try and speak to Rosie again first. If I can straighten things out with her before I see Ellie, then it may well be easier…
Either that or I’m just hoping for the best, something that’s never going to happen.
* * *
Am I really doing this again? I think to myself as I stand outside of Rosie’s home, trying to work up the courage to speak to her. No, don’t bottle out. This is something that I need to do…
I force myself to knock, because that’s what the right thing to do is, and I wait. I rock back and forth on my heels, trying my hardest to think about everything that Brad told me, so I don’t run…
“Oh, Oliver.” It’s Amelia. Rosie’s mom who answers the door. I stiffen up, expecting a barrage of abuse from her for what I’ve caused, but she looks at me like she always does. I don’t think she knows. She wouldn’t be able to hide it if she did know. Even if she didn’t blame me, I would see it on her face. “Why are you knocking? You can just come in, don’t you? How are you? It feels like a long time since I have seen you properly.”
“Er, yes I’m okay. How are things with you? Sorry it’s been a long time.”
“I’m okay. I’ve been keeping busy, you know,” she replies. “Keeping on top of things. A lot of family drama.”
“Yes, I know. I can imagine that it’s been a crazy time for you. You’re handling it well though.”
“Well, it’s nice to have family around. Seth has been great.”
She makes me a cup of tea, and I take a seat to wait for it, wondering where the hell Rosie is. I can’t even hear her banging around upstairs, but her car is outside so I’m sure she must be in. She’s probably listening, trying to hear what is being said. Right now, it’s just small talk so she won’t be getting much.
Come down, I think desperately, glancing my eyes upwards. Please, Rosie. Speak to me.
Eventually, after I have had most of the tea, I pop the question. “Is Rosie in? I just wanted to chat…”
“She’s upstairs.” Amelia looks nervous as she darts her eyes upwards. “She did say that she didn’t want to be talked to, but I’m sure that doesn’t include you. I’m certain she will like to see you.”
Huh, she really doesn’t know what’s going on, does she? If she did, she would understand that the one person Rosie probably meant by that statement was me. But I’m going to play dumb and hope that Rosie is more receptive because she clearly doesn’t want her mother to find out about anything.
“Right, well I’m going upstairs.” I smile thinly. “I will see you in a while. Thank you for the tea, Amelia.”
She grins at me like I’m not the person who has torn her family apart which makes me feel guilty as hell. I try my hardest to swallow it down, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It keeps me on my toes as I walk up towards my doom. This is like a real freaking death march and it’s making me anxious.
“Rosie?” I say quietly through the door before I knock. “Are you in there?”
“Is that Oliver?” she snaps back, not keeping her anger locked away. “What the hell are you doing here?”
She doesn’t open the door which is definitely not an invitation to come inside, so I lean against the wood and try to quietly carry on this conversation from where I am. “I just want to talk to you, Rosie.”
“I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to talk to you. Didn’t I slam the door in your face before?”
“You did… but I thought that you might have calmed down now. I thought you might want to talk…”
“No, I don’t.” God, she’s angry. She’s hurt and I feel terrible. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rosie. I do feel bad.” I sigh loudly. “I respect and love our friendship so much and I don’t want to lose it over this. I really don’t. We’ve been through too much together.”
“Yes, we have,” she says sharply. “But me confessing my feelings to you and getting rejected is too much.”
“Do you really feel anything for me though, Rosie, or is it just because you’re getting over the break up?”
As soon as I say those words, I wish I could grab them and stuff them back in to my mouth. They came from my gut again which I don’t think is the best idea. I might have to start seriously ignoring that sensation.
The bedroom door swings open but much to my surprise, she doesn’t punch me.
“I don’t know,” she admits quietly instead. “Maybe, I’m not
sure. I’ve been wondering that myself. Because you are the complete opposite to Tristan, and the sort of guy that I should be with. But our friendship…”
I nod with relief. “Exactly. Our friendship is too good to give up, isn’t it?”
I actually think that we might be getting somewhere, that this conversation is going to turn out exactly as I want it to, but before that moment hits me fully, she shocks me by saying something else.
“I want to be friends with you, but you will need to stay away from Ellie. That is much too weird for me.”
Everything that rose only a moment ago, sinks hard. “You… you want me to stay away from Ellie?”
“Yes!” she exclaims like it should be obvious. “Of course you can’t be with her. She’s much too young and she’s my cousin too. I can’t stand it. I want you to just keep away from her which will be easy because she’s gone…” Her words trail off when she sees the stunned expression on my face. “Oh my God, you don’t want to keep away from her, do you? You probably haven’t stayed away from her at all. You want to be with her…”
“Is that not okay?” I risk asking cautiously.
I know that the fireworks are coming, but it’s still a surprise when they do.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ellie
“Ellie?” Seth yells. “Ellie! There is someone at the door. Can’t you hear that?”
“I’m actually making dinner, Seth,” I cry back. “Can’t you answer it?”
