“You can do this,” she assured me, squeezing my palms.
I closed my eyes and exhaled while bobbing my head and forcing a tight smile. “I know,” I said and bit my lip. “Might as well get this over with, huh?”
I didn’t mean a word of it, of course. I’d have taken any excuse to delay.
Ceres straightened the flower behind my ear. “No time like the present,” she confirmed. Her dark eyes danced again with motherly assurance.
Unable to stop myself, I threw my arms around the goddess. Everything about her was comforting. Her skin smelled fresh like the Olympian air and her smile radiated warmth. She encircled me with her own arms as I shuddered against her.
“Oh, Psyche,” she sighed as she rubbed my back. “You must believe that everything will work out. All is lost if you lose hope now.”
I stepped back and blinked at Ceres. “I don’t understand,” I muttered, now furiously chewing the corner of my lip.
“When you stand before Aphrodite to apologize, she’ll know your heart better than you do. If there is any hesitation in there, she’ll sense it.”
Gulping, I nodded. This had better be the best apology of my life.
“And the same is true when you tell her you love her son and deserve his forgiveness,” Ceres continued. “You must go to her with the conviction that you are Eros’s destiny. You do believe that?”
“More than anything,” I whispered.
“Then you can do this.” She tilted her head so she could look at my downturned face. “Putting it off won’t make it easier.”
I looked up into her eyes. “I believe that too,” I muttered with a sigh.
Ceres’s laugh was as light as butterfly wings. She squeezed my hand once more and led me out of her palace.
Xanthy was grazing in the flower-filled field beside Ceres’s home. I headed toward her but Ceres stopped me. “Leave Xanthy with me.”
Stopping short, I swung around to meet Ceres’s command. My heart broke. I didn’t want to leave my horse behind. She was the only link I had to humanity on this mountain of gods.
Ceres glided up to me. “I’ll take good care of her until you return,” she promised. “Now come.”
When her hand touched mine again, we fell into Ceres’s sickening flight, floating and diving through the glorious morning air. But this time our flight was quick, and we landed with a gentle touchdown on a gilded path. I followed the glinting metal under my feet up to the entrance of a palace.
Her palace. It was grotesquely ornate, and nothing like the down-to-earth persona she’d had when visiting me. But now it made sense why Eros thought I’d like golden everything — he’d been raised in it. The palace dripped with golden columns, golden doors, golden statutes. It made my stomach sour and I glared at it from behind furrowed brows.
“Yeah, we all think it’s a little over-the-top,” Ceres whispered in my ear, “but don’t you dare let Aphrodite catch you making that face at her home.”
I wiped the dissatisfaction from my face just before Aphrodite’s gilded door opened.
“Ceres, is that you I hear out —” Aphrodite stopped mid-sentence when she saw me. The goddess stood in her doorway, seeming to fill it with her aura. She was even more astounding on Olympus than she’d been back in my home. Soft blonde ringlets cascaded down her back and spilled around her shoulders. Her eyes sparkled like the ocean waves from which she was born. Her delicate porcelain skin seemed to radiate light.
As Aphrodite glared at me, a small, cruel smile tugged at her lips. When the smile broke, she chuckled, then laughed, then tossed back her head with maniacal laughter that rang out like cries from a flock of hungry gulls.
“You see the irony, don’t you daughter?” Aphrodite spat when her laughter subsided. “All you had to do was listen to me in the first place, and we’d both still like you.”
My shoulders slumped. She was right, of course. She’d tried to bring me and Eros together from the start and we’d both refused. His heart had obviously changed once since then, but I feared it’d changed back already.
Scrambling forward, I dropped to one knee beside her golden-sandaled foot. Being so near her was overwhelming in a way it’d never been in my room. For one, she no longer needed my lotions: her own scent was as calming and powerful as being surrounded by blooming jasmine. But there was a charge vibrating off her skin, threatening to shock like an eel. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the back of her hand.
“Get up,” she snapped at me. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”
Obeying, I slowing rose, never letting my gaze tear from hers. “You know me,” I whispered. “Once, you liked me enough to consider me your daughter. To marry your son. I know I’ve messed that up now, but you know it wasn’t supposed to happen this way.” I pulled her hand over my heart. “You know I acted with the best of intentions, even if I was stupid.”
For a second, I thought her armor would crack. A smile tugged at her lips and she looked at me like she could almost see us being friends again. But the tone of her voice told me I’d misread her.
“That, my dear, was before I realized you were just as much of a slut as your mother.”
“How dare you!” I screamed. Immediately, I clamped my hand over my mouth.
“What did you just say to me?” Aphrodite grabbed my arm, digging into my skin with nails like talons. “How dare I? I tried to set you up in a legitimate marriage and instead you just ran off and slept with my son behind my back.”
“We never slept together, I swear it.” The muscles in my arm began to cramp as she squeezed tighter. “But I wasn’t talking about me anyway. I meant my mother. Please. Leave her out of this.”
“She can’t be left out. She started it the night she slept with Poseidon.” She squeezed again before freeing my arm and I stumbled back a few steps.
My mom had done what? No, Aphrodite was lying. She had to be. Mother loved my father. She wouldn’t betray him like that.
“I wondered if he could make a daughter as lovely as Zeus had.” Aphrodite snatched one of my curls between her thumb and finger. “It seems he can, only you’re not a blonde.”
Whoa. What? The world went blank as I pulled inside my head. Was that even possible? If she was telling the truth, Father wasn’t my father at all then. Which could explain why Mom was so upset when she found out Aphrodite had made me her daughter. And why…
“That’s why you picked me then.” My eyes filled like warm pools. “Not because you liked me, but because I was already part immortal.”
“Let me put the question back on you, Psyche. Have you ever heard of an immortal spending her free time with a full mortal? And I’m talking about more than a night here.”
I shook my head “no.” Gods hung around with other gods and demi-gods. As a rule, they only meddled with people’s lives, not participated in them.
“Then I believe you’ve answered your own question.”
After that, I couldn’t meet her eyes. I couldn’t even ask to see Eros. There was too much information to process and I wanted to escape and think it over. Turn it in my brain like an odd-shaped rock and study every side.
“I can feel you’re struggling with this, Psyche. I understand.”
Aphrodite’s changed tone got my attention. It must’ve resonated with Ceres too, because she took the opportunity to drift to my side and slide her hand into mine.
“Here’s the problem, as I see it,” Aphrodite continued. “You’re my niece by Olympian standards and I did actually like you. But first you refused my command and then you tried to kill my son. I’m pleasantly surprised that you didn’t sleep with him, but that’s not enough to redeem yourself.”
“Please,” I begged her. “All I want is a chance to talk to Eros and tell him how I feel.” My voice trailed off as I remembered the horror of our last night together - the raw emotions sweeping every arc from fear to deseration to betrayal and even to love. “He deserves to know I love him.”
“Don’t tell me what he deserves.” Aphrodite’s voice hissed out with a chill as she rose and stormed down the stairs. “What he deserves is a wife who won’t try to stab him while he sleeps.”
“I know,” I admitted. “I know. And maybe I’ll never win back his heart, but I need him to know that he won mine.”
Aphrodite paced. “Ceres, we’ve got a problem. You brought her to me, so it’s your problem too. I think I’m calm enough not to want her dead anymore, but I can’t just let her go back to Eros. Or even run around with everyone thinking she’s still my daughter. What am I supposed to do?”
“Hmmm…” Ceres shifted from one foot to another. “Perhaps a test? If she passes, you let her talk to Eros. If not, you can turn her over to Ares.”
My eyes probably could’ve doubled as fat olives as big around as they got at that suggestion. A test? I had no skills outside of being able to read, how on earth could I pass any sort of test? And who knew what dreadful, unspeakable things Ares would do to me before I died.
Aphrodite shrugged. “It worked for Heracles, I suppose. What’d you have in mind?”
Chapter 46 - Eros
Eros started looking for Alexa with a simple scan of her parents’ home and land. After all, they’d agreed to keep her under lock and key in exchange for him not going to the Olympian Council. In retrospect, he realized he might’ve been a little harsh.
But he didn’t spot her.
Running a hand through his soft curls, he exhaled. “Where are you, little nymph?”
He plopped onto his couch and settled in for a more detailed scan. Eros started with some of Alexa’s favorite siblings. Perhaps she’d gone off to visit them. But her metal-working brother and flower-guarding sisters were alone. One by one, Eros checked all fifty of her brothers and sisters, but Alexa wasn’t with any of them.
Where on earth?
Eros broke from his scan to close his eyes and think. He knew she wasn’t working (he’d fired her himself) and she wasn’t with family, so where did that leave? He thought through vacations in Crete or lazy baths in salt spas. None of those things felt like Alexa. He’d never known her to even want a vacation. Could she still be holding on to her job even though work was forbidden?
Yes. Of course. Alexa would cling to her friendship with Psyche no matter the cost. Eros realized he had to find Psyche if he wanted to track down Alexa.
The last place he’d seen Psyche was outside Megara, where he’d saved her from the soldiers. That was less than two days ago. She couldn’t have gotten that much further.
“On horseback,” he muttered, “she would’ve passed Eleusis, and might be past Athens, but she couldn’t have made it to Thebes yet.” That narrowed his search radius. All he had to do was scan the roads between Eleusis and Thebes, and he would find her. As a last resort, he could check the cities too, but Eros was sure he was close.
He was so confident that he started flying to Thebes, scanning as he flew. He planned to work his way backward, certain Psyche was moving as quickly as she could toward Olympus. As his wings beat furiously against the afternoon sky, he scanned the dusty roads.
By the time he reached Thebes, he’d scanned the entire length of road with no sign of her.
“What am I missing?” He dropped down onto an empty stretch of road. Eros thought back through his mental calculations of how far Psyche could’ve traveled. Even galloping non-stop, he didn’t see how she could be past Thebes already.
As he rested, he scanned inside Eleusis, Athens and Thebes. Still nothing. Eros kicked a stone laying on the edge of the road, sending it careening into a strand of trees in the distance. How could she just be gone?
“This isn’t possible!”
A quiet echo played back to his ears. Possible, possible, possible.
Aching gripped Eros as realization washed over him. His knees weakened and he took a staggering step backward. “Mother.”
Eros unfurled his wings and shot into the air. “Mother, where is Psyche?” he screamed as he hurtled back to Olympus.
Chapter 47 - Psyche
Aphrodite led me down to a river on the west side of her estate. My feet skidded on rocks and pebbles as I struggled to keep up with her stride. When we reached the river’s edge, my toes squished into the mud, making my sandals so slippery that I fell back onto my butt.
“I still like my idea of sorting grain,” Ceres added. “She’s not a weaver, but nothing says ‘domestic’ like success in the kitchen.”
Aphrodite looked down at me as I scrambled back to my feet. “No, this will do.” Then she set about explaining that all I had to do was cross the river and sheer a clump of golden wool from each of her sheep before noon.
I blinked and nodded as she explained, trying to show how intently I was listening, but focusing more on what she wasn’t saying. Something about the test seemed surreally easy — easier than sorting grain — and that worried me. Were the sheep impossibly fast? Maybe they secretly had wings like Pegasus and would fly away? I had to be missing something.
“Understand?” Aphrodite asked.
When I nodded, she smiled grimly. “Good. Then I hope to see you back here before noon.”
Aphrodite pranced back up to her palace, gossamer white gown and blonde curls flowing like enchanted waves in her wake. Ceres gave my shoulders a quick squeeze before following her.
Nope - definitely not a good sign.
Once they were gone, I turned back to my task. Now that I looked at the sheep closely, maybe this wouldn’t be so easy after all. The animals weren’t so much fluffy, timid sheep, as massive, snorting rams. Their golden fleece sparkled only half as bright as the solid gold, spiraling horns that rose dangerously from their foreheads. Beady black eyes seemed alive with the heat of simmering coals and all of them were locked on me.
Gulping, I slipped the knife out from my belt. I moved slowly, cautiously, wading step by careful step toward the bank on the meadow-side of the river. Even though it was still early, my palms were already starting to sweat. The knife passed to my left hand as I tried to dry off my right, but my dress was muddy from my little tumble. I leaned forward ever so slightly, touching the soft green grass of the meadow, drying my damp hand.
Never did I take my eyes off of the biggest ram. As luck would have it, he was the closest to the river. And as I approached, he lowered his head, bobbing his horns in warning. When I touched his meadow, he stomped his massive hoof, sending a divot of grass flying behind him with no more effort than if he’d been pawing sand.
“Easy, boy,” I said. “It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Even if he could understand me, my knife probably spoke louder than my words.
Sliding my right foot onto the bank, I slowly rose out of the water. I hadn’t even straightened my knee when I was hit and launched back into the river. Water rushed into my mouth and nose as I gasped. For a moment, I thought I might drown in a measly meter of water. When I forced my head above water, choking and sputtering, I expected to see the ram standing on the bank, preparing to wade in and strike again. But he hadn’t moved. He was still stomping his little patch of earth into oblivion.
I pushed a soggy clump of hair from my mouth. “What the…”
And then familiar arms wrapped around my shoulders, hugging me in a tight embrace. “Don’t hug me back,” Alexa said. “She may be watching.”
“If she’s watching, how would she explain me flying into the river just now?” I asked. But I really didn’t care. I was just relieved to have my friend back, whether it caused me trouble with Aphrodite later or not.
“Did you see yourself sliding around on the bank earlier?” Alexa giggled. “It’s not much of a stretch for her to think you did that all on your own.”
“Maybe so.” I pursed my lips together. “Mind telling me why I needed to crash in the first place?”
“Um, because the sheep would’ve killed you, silly. You can’t just go walking up there and whacking off pieces of their wool now.�
�� I felt Alexa sit down in the water beside me as I looked at the shimmering beasts.
“But I have to collect their fleece before noon. I can’t —” A sob caught in the back of my throat. “I can’t not do this.”
I pushed myself up to stand but Alexa tugged my arm out from under me. Without support, I toppled back over with a splash.
“Uh oh, looks like you’ve sprained your ankle,” Alexa told me. “You better scoot back to the shore and rest for awhile.”
I didn’t understand, but I didn’t argue either. Like an injured crab, I pulled myself backward through the water with my hands and pushed with my left foot, making a show of not using my right foot at all.
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