He clasped his hands behind him and watched the door at the back of the church. So much had changed in the last four months. He was moving ahead in his SWAT training, but he wasn’t working overtime anymore. His time at headquarters was rich and fulfilling, the way it always would be. But it was a job. His faith, his love for Holly, his friends — those were his life now. Six times already, he and Holly had met up with Clay and Jamie and the others for dinner at the Michaels’ house.
Life was good at Clay and Jamie’s house. Sierra’s cat Wrinkles wasn’t sick like before, and the kids were well — so their times together had been happy and full of laughter. Alex smiled to himself. Laughter, of all things, something he wouldn’t have believed would ever be part of his life again. During their counseling sessions with the pastor, he and Holly had even talked about having kids of their own.
They’d also taken a day and gone down to the beach where Alex had scattered Bo’s ashes in the foam of a particularly powerful wave, the kind of wave Bo would’ve barked at had he been there.
Through Christmas and the New Year, Alex grew so close to Holly he couldn’t understand how he’d lived seven years without her. They had both agreed to wait until they were married to begin the physical relationship they were both aching to experience. Some days Alex wondered why they’d scheduled the wedding so far out, but other times he enjoyed the wait, enjoyed watching Holly register for wedding gifts and get excited about going with her mom to pick out a dress.
Alex looked out over the faces in the church, the deputies and sergeants he’d worked with and grieved with, the family that made up the sheriff’s department. But more than that, his eyes found those of Jamie, Joe and Wanda, and Eric and Laura Michaels. These were friends he’d have for life, he was sure. Holly already loved them, and right now he felt a little like his father had told Jake Bryan he felt. Life was good, love was sweet, and time felt like it would last forever.
He understood John 16:33 better now, the verse his father had wanted him to take hold of. Yes, in this world there would be trouble. But God had overcome the world. Otherwise, Alex never would’ve been standing here. Alex looked at Clay standing beside him — his best man. The two shared a smile, and for a few seconds Alex imagined what it would be like if his father were standing beside him now. A fleeting, familiar pain seared the surface of his heart, but it came with no rage, no sense of driven determination. Sure, he still thought about 9/11, the way he always would. But at this point, the crippling sorrow was far less all-consuming and only hit him as often as it did other victims of the terrorist attacks.
Every now and then.
Again the music changed, and this time the organist began to play the “Wedding March.” Across both sides of the pews, people rose and faced the back of the church. The doors opened and Holly appeared, a vision of white lace and tanned arms, so stunning that an appreciative hush fell over their friends and family. Alex’s heartbeat quickened and he stood straighter, not believing she was really about to be his. This was what he’d waited all his life for, even in the years when he had lied to himself. Holly Brooks, walking up the aisle, about to be his wife. My dear God … I can’t believe You’ve brought us here … thank You … I’ll never have enough days to thank you.
He remembered to breathe as she came closer. Holly had never looked more beautiful, but not so much because of her pretty dress. That wasn’t what captured Alex’s attention. Her veil was thin enough that Alex could see the only thing that mattered in this moment.
Holly’s eyes, and an undying love that would stand the test of time.
Holly couldn’t take her eyes off him. Of all the miracles God had worked on their behalf, this was the most unbelievable. The change in Alex. Because looking at him now, it was impossible to think of him the way he’d been only five months ago — hard and cold, closed off to love or life or any feelings other than the quest for revenge. She smiled as she came closer.
Alex standing at the front of the church waiting for her was everything she had always wanted — and he was everything she had known he could be. A man full of faith and a love that shone through in their beach walks and late-night talks, a love that was as transparent as the spring breeze outside their wedding chapel.
She had never dreamed she’d feel this happy again, but here she was — about to marry Alex Brady. They had written brief vows for this moment, a reflection of the pure richness of their love. The way they felt about each other wouldn’t take a lot of words. They loved each other more than life, and they trusted God to take them through whatever the years held.
That was all.
As she reached him, as their hands touched and her body felt the now familiar desire, she could only think of one thing. Her mother was wrong. It wasn’t only in the movies that love came at people all at once. Because what she and Alex shared really was a stunning rainbow across an otherwise dreary sky. When they’d found each other again, their intense feelings of a love that had never died hadn’t taken time or work or any sort of effort.
They came all at once, in a rush, because they simply were, the way they would always be.
Jamie watched the wedding through teary eyes.
Clay was completely healed now, and he looked rugged and full of joy as he stood beside Alex during the ceremony. She thanked God every day that he hadn’t been killed, but she had to hold on lightly. The way any living person had to hold on if they understood the fleeting nature of life. She and Clay had spent more time together than ever before, and she couldn’t possibly love him more. In the past months he’d become a mentor to Alex, helping him understand what it meant to really love a woman the way Christ intended her to be loved.
On a couple occasions, he had even drawn from excerpts in Jake’s journal and favorite Bible verses to talk about love languages, and the danger of going to bed angry with each other. Clay had confided in Jamie last night that he was happy with how their talks had gone.
“Alex is going to be an amazing husband. The transformation in him is something only God could’ve done.”
“Yes.” Jamie looped her arms around his neck. “Because Alex finally understood that any move toward being a ‘good guy’ had to start with a hard look in the mirror.”
Clay looked at her now and their eyes held. His lips curved into a subtle smile before he turned his attention back to the vows. Jamie dabbed at her eyes and listened to the words being said.
“Holly, I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you, and I’ll love you until the last time.” Alex smiled at his bride, his eyes damp. “I promise to respect and love you, to honor and cherish you.” Alex was holding Holly’s hands, lost in her eyes. They might as well have been the only two people in the room. He was finishing up, and the last part was the most poignant. “There will be hard times, as there have been before. But when they come, I promise never to put walls between me and you, and I will share with you whatever pain comes my way, because you are a part of me, Holly. As long as we both shall live.”
Holly sounded choked up when it came to her turn. Her vows were the same as his until the very end. “Alex, I’ve watched what hurt and loss can do to you, and I promise you one more thing here, before our family and friends. I promise that when life hurts so much you’re tempted to forget who you are, you can always come to me. I will be your mirror, Alex … for the real you will always live here, inside my heart.”
They were about to exchange rings when Jamie felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Mom,” Sierra leaned in close to her. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m happy.” Jamie sniffed. “Love makes me feel this way.”
She wrinkled up her nose. “I’m glad I’m not in love.” She stifled a giggle and then leaned her head on Jamie’s shoulder.
CJ was on her other side, but he was too sleepy to notice much about the wedding. Jamie was glad for the chance to really focus on what was being said, because somehow the wedding between Alex and Holly was symbolic. It was a sign that
beauty could rise from brokenness as many times as God was allowed to work in their lives. But beyond that, seeing this couple get married brought Jamie that final bit of closure where Jake was concerned.
She had devoted three years to helping victims of September 11, and when she moved here she thought that job was done. But with Alex and Holly, God had given her one more chance to help. Her prayers, the words from Jake’s journal, Clay’s talks with Alex — God had used all of it to bring about a dramatic healing in Alex’s heart. Jamie smiled, and as she did, she was almost certain of something else.
Somewhere in heaven, Jake was smiling too.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Dear Friends,
Writing about Alex Brady was an emotional journey for me. In him I saw so many of you who write and tell me about broken relationships or lost loves, strained friendships and hurt feelings between siblings. I can relate, of course, the way anyone breathing can relate.
Sometimes — as with Holly — we can clearly see what happened to turn the person we love away from us. But other times, we aren’t so sure. There have been very good friends in our lives who have turned away, and we may never know the reason they have chosen to no longer love.
But the message of Alex’s life is one we can all draw hope from. Broken relationships can be healed. More than that, it is simply impossible to think we can solve the pain and evil in the world, or even the pain in someone’s life. When I outlined this book, I planned to show how Alex would eventually reach the end of himself in his quest to rid Los Angeles of crime. But then God showed me something I didn’t expect.
One weekend in the middle of writing this book, through a sermon from the book of John by our wonderful Pastor Matt, I realized there was an even deeper truth in Alex’s misguided determination. The fact that God never intended for us to eliminate the evil around us. But rather, through Christ’s strength, to take a hard look at the evil within us. Wow. That message hit hard and became a driving force for the theme behind this story.
I really liked Alex, the way that he wanted so desperately to do good. We’re a lot like him at times, but we all need to remember the Scripture Clay shared with Alex. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads only to death. It’s so important as we choose our way each day that we look to Jesus for wisdom and direction. When we’re driven by emotions — healthy or hurtful — we can easily get distracted from the true work God has for us.
And what about Holly? Her love for Alex was a lot like Christ’s love for us — no matter where we are now or how far we’ve moved from a faith in God, Christ loves us. He knows who we are on the inside — the person He made us to be. Even if we’ve allowed time and tragedy to make us into someone different.
No one and nothing can separate us from the love of God — isn’t that amazing? It’s the same way Holly felt about Alex, and it will leave me with an example I’ll think back on years from now.
I’m sad to see this story end, really. Alex was a special character for me, and so was Holly. In addition, I’ve loved writing about Jamie Bryan Michaels and remembering once more the incredible guy Jake Bryan was. I enjoyed spending time again with Clay, reminding myself of his godly qualities and his great love for Jamie and Sierra and CJ. It was nice to spend more time with Joe and Wanda, and to check in with Eric and Laura since Beyond Tuesday Morning four years ago.
Always, as I finish a book, I spend many hours praying for you — my reader friends. Sometimes God needs to take us to the middle of a towering inferno before we let go of our own ways and grab onto Him for life. But for most of us, we’ll never wind up trapped on a hillside in the middle of a firestorm. Most of us will hear the voice of God calling us back or drawing us closer some other way. Through a conversation with a friend or a sermon on the radio.
Maybe even through Life-Changing Fiction ™.
If during the course of reading this book you, like Alex Brady, found yourself crying out for God to forgive you, for Him to find you again, for the chance to become the person deep inside your heart that once upon a yesterday you used to be … then I pray that you will connect with a Bible-believing church in your area. There, you should be able to find a Bible — if you don’t already have one. That life-saving relationship with Christ is always rooted in His truth, the Scriptures.
If you are unable to purchase a Bible or find one at your local church, and if this is the first time you are walking into that relationship with Jesus, then write to me at my website — www.KarenKingsbury.com. Write the words “New Life” in the subject line, and I will send you a Bible. Because between the covers of that precious book are all the secrets to a new life.
For the rest of you, I’d love to hear your thoughts on Remember Tuesday Morning, how Alex’s story spoke to you, and how it maybe even changed you. Contact me at my website, and while you’re there, take a moment to look at the ways you can get involved with the community of other Karen Kingsbury readers. You can leave a prayer request or pray for someone else, tell me about an active military hero or a fallen one, and send me a picture so that all the world can pray for your soldier. You can also join my club and chat with other readers about your favorite characters and books.
If this is your first time with me, thank you for taking the time to read. My website lists my other titles in their order, as well as by topic — in case you’re looking for a specific type of Life-Changing Fiction ™.
Again, thank you for your prayers for me and my family. We are doing well and trying to keep up with our kids — all of whom are growing way too fast. We feel your prayers on a daily basis, and please know that we pray for you too.
Until next time,
In His light and love,
Karen Kingsbury
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Please share these with your book clubs, church groups, friends, and family. Discussion makes the experience of reading so much richer!
1. How would you explain the change in Alex after the terrorist attacks on September 11?
2. Have you ever experienced a tragedy that made you doubt God or feel angry toward God? Explain.
3. Alex’s father wanted him to have a firm understanding of John 16:33 — In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. What do you think Alex’s father wanted him to get from that verse? What might have been his father’s concerns for Alex?
4. How has that Scripture applied in your life? Tell about a time when you might’ve relied on that truth to get you through a certain situation.
5. Explain why Holly was still in LA years after she’d been turned away by Alex. What signs made it clear she hadn’t forgotten him?
6. Was there a time in your life when you were stuck in a certain phase, unable to move forward? Tell about that time and why it left you feeling stuck.
7. What did you learn about ecoterrorists in Remember Tuesday Morning? Share your thoughts on this new criminal phenomenon.
8. Dave Jacobs was a developer, but he was also a bird-watcher and a generous friend to the homeless population in Los Angeles. What did the members of the REA probably think about Dave Jacobs? Why is it important not to view builders, environmentalists, or anyone else only as stereotypes?
9. Jamie wanted desperately to fix the problems in Alex’s heart. What did she finally have to do in order to see that happen?
10. Are there people in your life who you’d love to step in and help? Is God giving you direction on how you can do that? What do you feel He wants you to do? Share the situation, if possible.
11. What did Clay mean when he explained the difference between the evil outside a person, and the evil within?
12. Read John, chapter 16, and discuss what the Bible says about the evil within and without. What is Christ’s plan for his people in regards to this issue?
13. Police dogs exhibit a very great loyalty and sense of courage and protection. Do you know anyone who has worked with a police dog? Tell about their experience.
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sp; 14. In what ways is our relationship with Jesus like that of Alex’s relationship with Bo?
15. A lot of people were praying for Alex as he traveled this difficult and challenging time in his life. What people’s prayers stood out as making a difference?
16. Who are you praying for right now? What can you focus on so that you’ll be encouraged to continue to pray? Tell about a time when a prayer in your life was answered after someone spent time praying for you.
17. The tragedy of September 11 is more of a distant memory for many Americans. Kids in high school today were in grade school when the terrorist attacks happened. What must we, as a nation, do to never forget the losses experienced that day?
18. The loss of his father will always be difficult for Alex. But as he marries Holly he realizes he will no longer be weighed down by that grief on an hourly basis. Instead he decides to allow himself to feel the pain only every now and then. What situation in your life are you better off visiting only every now and then?
19. Holly’s mother told her that real love takes work, that it didn’t come at a person all at once like a blazing rainbow across an otherwise dreary sky. How do you feel about love?
20. Many different types of love were illustrated in this book. Talk about a few of them and explain what types of love are illustrated in your life.
Remember Tuesday Morning Page 28
