by Barb Hendee
“Mildreth, I’d like to get an early start in the herb garden tomorrow, and it’s the first day of the new week. Would you mind going over the menus with Amelia in the morning? I don’t think I’ll have time.”
And then I went still, realizing that I’d not only just asked Mildreth for a favor, I had offered to relinquish one of the duties I’d commandeered. Bracing myself, I waited for her withering reply.
She did not answer at first, and then said, “No, I don’t mind. I’ll see to it first thing after breakfast.”
I was stunned. “Thank you.”
An ember of hope glowed inside me. She and I would never be friends and we would certainly never be sisters. But perhaps we could become something other than enemies.
Jordan yawned.
“You have had a busy day,” Mildreth said, rising. “It is time for bed. Come now, both of you.”
Obediently, they both rose and followed her from the room.
“Good night,” I called.
“Good night, Aunt Nicole,” Amanda called back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Aunt Nicole.
I watched her walk through archway, but Christophe was watching me. The servants had cleared the dishes and we were alone.
“You did well with Jordan today,” I said. “From the stories I’ve heard, my father was not so patient with Erik.”
Christophe stood and walked to the hearth, looking into the flames. “I’ve long thought on ways in which I’d teach my own son to ride.”
Standing, I moved to join him, but stopped as a shadow crossed his face. I did not know what he was thinking, but I guessed his mind had gone back to the months prior to Gideon’s birth, when he believed his own son was soon coming.
Unwanted guilt washed through me and I tried to push it away. Perhaps it was time Christophe and I finally spoke of matters between us. After all, we had been married for nearly two weeks.
“Do you plan to have a son, my lord?” I asked.
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “And what does that mean?”
“Given the state of matters between us, I don’t see how the creation of a child is possible.”
He swung around to face me. “What would you have me do? I have longed for you, ached for you. But now, every time I look at you all I see is someone who chose her sister over me, someone who would have betrayed me and willingly stopped my line.”
This was the crux of his inability to forgive me. I knew the importance of bloodlines to him and how badly he had wanted a child of his own bloodline and my family’s. He was not wrong that I had conspired to make another man’s son the heir to Whale’s Keep. But I had not done so out of a spirit of treason, only out of a need to save my sister.
Once again, the words formed in my mind and I wanted to shout them.
She is my sister!
But I held them back and did not speak them. Instead, it occurred to me that these words had been my only response on the two occasions we’d spoken of my betrayal. I had never asked for his forgiveness.
“Of all the people in the world,” I began, “you are the last one I would wish to hurt. When I first learned that Chloe was with child and that Julian had abandoned her, I did not know what to do. Before the wedding itself, I did nothing because I could not choose between you and Chloe. I couldn’t choose. I thought to let fate decide. But then when I arrived here and found Julian preying upon her….” My own words sounded weak, even to me.
Christophe’s body was completely still.
“You couldn’t choose between me and Chloe?” he asked.
“Of course not!” I cried. “I loved you both. But I found myself caught up in trying to save my sister and I am sorry. Christophe, I am so sorry for what I almost did to you. Please forgive me.”
His body looked like a coiled spring now and he was breathing hard. But he closed the distance between us in a few strides and grasped the back of my head. His mouth pressed down on mine and at first, the sensation was so shocking I almost drew away. Then I felt pleasure from the soft pressure and moved my mouth against his. Reaching up, I wound my arms around his neck while kissing him, taking as much as I gave.
Wrenching his mouth away from mine, he still gripped my head and whispered, “I love you.”
“Come to my rooms.”
* * * *
In the middle of the night, I lay in his arms. We were both naked, but he was finally asleep. I listened to the sound of his breaths and felt his heart beating. I thought on all we had done together this night, joining our bodies without speaking another word, and I regretted nothing.
For better or for worse, I was Christophe de Fiore’s wife.
* * * *
Three days later, the two of us took a walk out of the south side of the village, looking for a place to build my beehives. Christophe had not wanted the beehives too close to the keep’s front gates, for fear of the guards being stung.
He led me to a meadow around the south side.
“What do you think?” he asked.
It was not beautiful as my meadow at the lodge. The grass was more tan than green and there were not so many types of flowers. But it would serve us. It was far enough from the keep and yet an easy walk for me.
“Perfect,” I said, even though it was not perfect. It did not need to be perfect.
I thought back to that day at the lodge, out in the meadow, when Christophe had first told me of his love and his vision for us, and he’d pleaded with me to marry him. How changed we were from those two people.
I had viewed him as both kind and selfless, and he had viewed me as his guileless love. Now, I knew him capable of cruelty and abuse of power. He knew me capable of great betrayal. We had damaged each other in ways beyond repair and neither one of us would ever be the same.
We could never start over. But perhaps we had a new place to begin.
* * * *
The meadow around me disappeared. I found myself once again inside my bedroom at the lodge and staring into the center panel of the three-tiered mirror.
Struggling to breathe, I thought on all that I had just lived through.
The faces of Christophe, Chloe, Julian, and Mildreth swam around me.
But the dark-haired woman was now looking out from the left panel.
“That would be the outcome of the second choice,” she said. “Now you’ll go back to the beginning again, to live out the third choice.”
“Wait!” I cried. “Give me a moment.”
I needed to think.
“To the beginning once more,” she said. “To live out the third choice.”
My mind went blank and the bedroom vanished.
The Third Choice:
Telling the Family
Chapter 13
I was standing in Chloe’s closet, feeling disoriented, as if I’d forgotten something and needed to remember. Peeking out a crack between the closet door and the wall, I saw my sister standing in her bedroom with Julian Belledini.
“You liar,” she said. “You made me believe you wanted to spend your life with me.”
He stepped away from her. “And I did—I do. But not like this. Marry Lord Christophe. You have no choice now. In three years’ time, you’ll thank me.”
Turning, he walked out.
Chloe put both hands to her mouth to stifle a sob.
Then I remembered. I’d come in here to find her dress from the banquet, so that it might be laundered, and I’d overheard that she was carrying Julian’s child.
Moments later, one of her servants called to her through the door. She composed herself as best she could and left the room. I remained in the closet, trying to let myself fully comprehend what I had just learned. Chloe now had no other option than to marry Christophe.
What should I do?
If I remained silent, Chloe an
d Christophe would be married and if the child were a boy, the heir to Whale’s Keep would not even be of the de Fiore line. Could I do that to Christophe? And yet, if I spoke up, Chloe could be ruined. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting either of them. I could not choose between them, but in this moment, remaining silent seemed the same as choosing Chloe.
This was not a decision to be made alone. I needed help. I needed help from people who loved Chloe and who cared for Christophe.
In my mind, I began to locate my family. Mother was still in the laundry room and Erik would be at the barracks. At this time of day, Father would most likely be in his private study. He was particular about not being disturbed there, but this matter could not wait.
Leaving the closet, I walked out of Chloe’s bedroom and started up the passage. To my gratitude, Jenny was trotting down the passage toward me.
“Was the gown not in the closet, my lady?” she asked. “I came to see if I might help.”
“Jenny,” I breathed. “Please go to the barracks and find Lord Erik. Tell him to come to my father’s study straightaway.”
Her eyes widened. “The barracks?”
“Yes, tell him it is urgent.”
At the word “urgent” she nodded. “Yes, my lady.”
Together, we went outside. She headed off for the barracks and I hurried down the path toward our second residence, to the large laundry room. There, I found my mother overseeing the wringing of the sheets and I walked straight to her.
“Mother,” I said. “I’ve just heard some news that must be shared in private. Will you come with me to Father’s study? Jenny has gone to find Erik.”
Straightening, she frowned—which was unusual. “We cannot disturb your father in his study. You know that.”
“He’ll understand. Please, Mother. Come with me.”
Perhaps it was the frightened quality of my voice, but she turned to speak to the women. “Carry on without me. I’ll return directly.”
As she followed, I led us out of the building and back up the path to enter our main residence. Father’s study was on the main floor, near the south end. Mother and I were nearly at the end of the passage when the far outer door opened and Erik ran inside, wearing chain armor and a dark green tabard.
He saw us instantly. “Nicole, what’s happened? Has Father taken ill?”
“No,” I answered, turning to knock on the study door. “Father, it is us.” Without waiting for an answer, I turned the knob and entered. The study was a good-sized room with leather-covered chairs and tapestries on the walls depicting hunting scenes. My father sat behind an oak desk with ledgers in front of himself and a quill in his hand.
He was taken aback at the sight of me. No one knocked on his study door at this time of day, much less opened it without being invited.
“What are you—?” he began.
Quickly, I cut him off by ushering my mother and Erik inside and then I closed the door. They were all staring at me as if I’d taken leave of my senses.
Perhaps I had. But I could not keep this information to myself. I was not wise enough to know what to do. My mother, father, and brother would know how to solve this, how to help both Chloe and Christophe.
But how to begin? As I stood there, Erik grew annoyed. “Nicole, what is this about? I left men waiting for me at the barracks.”
My father was more than annoyed and I could see his expression growing darker. Had there been some emergency, such as a fire, I would have blurted it out well before now.
“I was in Chloe’s closet,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, to explain this clearly. “She did not know I was there and she came into her room with Julian Belledini.”
“In her bedroom?” my mother gasped.
“She told him that she carried his child,” I continued, sorry to tell Chloe’s secret, but knowing I was doing the right thing.
Reactions around the room were starkly different. My father jumped to his feet. My mother sank down in a leather-covered chair, and Erik closed the distance between the two of us and grabbed my arm.
“You heard her wrong,” he said angrily. “What exactly did she say?”
His fingers hurt, but so did his words. Did he think me likely to share such damaging information as a misinterpretation?
Looking up into his face, I answered. “She told him that she carried his child and they would need to tell Father, so that Father could break off the betrothal to Christophe. She thought Julian would marry her. But he told her that he would not marry her, not like this. He feared what would become of them both. He told her to marry Christophe.”
Mother put one hand to her mouth. “Oh, my gods. My poor girl.”
Erik’s head swiveled toward her. “Poor girl? Don’t you see what she’s done? She’s placed all our people at risk!”
I’d not expected Erik to be angry. He loved Chloe and cared deeply for Christophe. I expected him to help us find a way to help them both.
My father stood in silence, taking in the news.
Erik let go of my arm and walked toward him. “Father, this can be managed. If she is only a month or so along, we can move the wedding date closer. Julian will need to be silenced unless you think he can be trusted enough to be bought off.”
My father stared at him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying all is not lost. This can be managed.”
“You still seek to marry Chloe to Christophe?” my father asked in disbelief. “To dupe him into thinking the child is his?”
“What other choice do we have? We need those soldiers. You’ve finally given me the funds to hire and train new men, but it will be years before we have a force as large and skilled as Christophe’s. Years!”
“And what of our honor? I will not play Christophe so falsely!”
“You speak of honor?” Erik shouted. “When it’s your fault that we’ve gone groveling to him in the first place! If you had acted as his father did ten years ago, we’d have our own private force by now!”
Father’s face tinged with red.
Mother and I watched this in horror. They were shouting at each other. Of all the things I’d expected, this was not it. I wished I had not spoken at all now.
Ignoring Erik, my father came around the side of his desk. “Nicole, where is Chloe now?”
“In the kitchen, I think,” I answered quietly.
Striding to the door, he opened it and looked out into the passage. “You!” he called.
“Yes, my lord,” a voice answered.
“Have someone sent to the barracks to fetch Julian Belledini. And have someone find Lady Chloe. Have them both sent here. Now!”
“Yes, my lord.”
Father left the door half-open, but his breaths were coming fast. I had never seen him so openly angry.
“What are you going to do?” my mother asked him. “Do not be unkind to Chloe. Julian seduced her. You have seen him with her.”
My father did not answer.
We all waited in silence, but the wait was not long.
Soon, Chloe arrived, walking through the half-open door. “Father?” she said, coming inside. Then she saw the entire family waiting. “What has happened?”
Before anyone could speak, Julian walked in. “My lord?” He stopped at the sight of us all. He was shockingly handsome, as always, but a flicker of uncertainty crossed his features. “Is something amiss?”
Erik glared at him in hatred. Mother sat in distress with her hands clasped.
Chloe began turning pale. “Father, why have you called us here?”
Father turned on Julian. “You have seduced my daughter and she carries your child.”
Silence followed and Julian’s expression turned to that of a cornered animal. For once, he was speechless. I wanted to sink under the floor. This was not what I had wanted. I had wan
ted help to know the right thing to do for both Chloe and Christophe. Now Father and Erik were at odds and Chloe was being humiliated before the entire family.
“Father—” Chloe began, her voice shaking.
“Do not speak!” he roared and then he swung back toward Julian. “You will marry her as soon as a ceremony can be arranged.”
At that, Julian managed to gather himself and his voice took on its usual charming tone. “Of course. That was my intention. She and I simply had not decided how to speak to you yet. Perhaps you and I could privately discuss the dowry?”
“Dowry?” Erik jerked a dagger from his left sleeve and started toward Julian.
But Father held up one hand to stop him, while still speaking to Julian. “I will write to your father today to tell him of your actions here. He will arrive directly and you will marry Chloe. There will be no dowry and no stipend. There will be no family heirlooms placed into her keeping. You and she have both brought shame onto your families.”
Chloe was stricken at his words about shame, but when she looked to Julian, I saw something else in her eyes: relief. She wanted to marry him.
Julian’s voice lost all of its charming quality. “And how do you expect your daughter to live? How will we support a home? Do you wish her and your grandchild to live in squalor? What kind of father are you?”
The red tinge in my father’s face turned a shade of purple. “Get out!” he shouted, “or I’ll let Erik run that dagger through your ribs.”
Julian walked from the study.
“Father—” Chloe began again.
“Out!”
She fled the room.
Erik’s glare was now on my father. “You’ve just killed half our people.”
But Father’s attention was on me. “No. I have not.”
* * * *
Over the following days events moved swiftly.
My father sent a letter to Julian’s father. Within a week, Lord Belledini arrived at the lodge and he and Father had several meetings behind closed doors. Lord Belledini was a good man, nothing like his youngest son. He and Father had long been friends and between the two of them, they came to an arrangement that was a bit kinder to the young couple than my father had first suggested.
