Handling Susannah

by Amelia Smarts

  Caleb beamed at him with a proud smile on his face.

  “I think it’s you who’s the natural, Adam,” Susannah said softly. Adam turned to find her wiping away a tear. “Come on over and sit down, you two. Breakfast is ready.”

  The stool Adam sat on felt unsteady, so he made a mental note to fix that too in a jiffy, hoping it didn’t break underneath him during the meal. He observed the sniffling woman spooning eggs onto his plate. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, she turned her back to them and tried to discreetly lift the hem of her apron to dry her tears.

  “Why are you sad, Ma?” Caleb asked, his voice sounding concerned and his brows furrowed in worry.

  “I’m not, sweetheart,” she assured him. “I’m crying because I’m happy.” She let out another sob and hiccup.

  Caleb’s worried look turned into an expression of confusion, which he turned on Adam. “Why is she crying if she’s happy?”

  Adam shrugged. “Beats me. It’s a woman thing, I reckon.”

  When Susannah continued to sniffle with her back facing them, he sighed. “Quit your caterwauling and sit down, woman.” He said it gruffly but with an affectionate note in his tone.

  She choked out a laugh and turned around, her eyes rimmed with red. “Everything’s good,” she said to Caleb as she sat.

  Adam mostly agreed that everything was good. One thing that was not good, however, was the meal, but he didn’t complain. He was hungry enough that the runniness of the eggs and the burned bacon just barely caught his attention. He would save the discussion about her cooking for another day. He didn’t want to criticize her, but he firmly believed that people should do their best at whatever they did. Since it was his wife’s job to cook, he would expect her to be good at it. He would also expect Caleb to do well in school when he attended.

  Adam knew that to some he seemed demanding, but he never expected more of others than he did of himself. Those who got to know him generally came to appreciate this about him. He wondered if his wife would be one of them.

  Chapter Seven

  The following weeks were filled with long but happy days for Adam, during which he became acquainted with his new family. He could hardly keep his hands off of Susannah, and it was with great joy that he discovered she didn’t want him to. The woman was insatiable. A look from him and a kiss would make her come alive in his arms. She responded to his dominance, becoming hopelessly aroused when he ordered her to bend over, spread her legs, or get on her knees. Delaying her releases or threatening to disallow them drove her wild with anticipation.

  Adam knew another man had taken her virtue, and he’d thought that might bother him. He’d fantasized about enlightening a chaste woman about the pleasures to be had in bed, but after bedding Susannah, that fantasy disappeared entirely. In its stead was a far greater desire—to delight often in a woman who wanted to please him as much as he wanted to please her.

  Adam also became acquainted with the foreman, the cowhands, and the inner workings of the ranch. The work that needed to be done was extensive. While Timothy wasn’t a bad man, he hadn’t run the place as a foreman should, with efficiency and authority, and age had made him slow and complacent when it came to being a boss. Two of the cowhands were obviously lazy, and the other four needed clear instructions on what to do, since they seemed to be wholly without initiative.

  When Adam had arrived at the range with Timothy on the first day, he’d found all the hands idling about. He’d quickly determined that three of the men should be riding the perimeter and fixing the fences, and the rest should be driving the cattle to greener pastures and branding the thirty head of cattle that were without marking. Within a few days, Adam had assumed leadership of everything that was previously in Timothy’s purview and had all the men under orders, working for their pay. He was aware of the resentment emanating from the men who hitherto had been content with spending their days in leisure. They grumbled amongst each other within his range of hearing. The bellyaching he would allow for a spell, but laziness he would not.

  He understood what it must feel like to suddenly have a demanding boss, when they had been without any instructions for so long. He was also keenly aware that he had not exactly earned his position as head of the ranch. He had responded to an ad in the paper and he’d gotten lucky. Still, he knew what it took to keep a ranch profitable, and he was going to see to it that it succeeded. Now that he owned a fertile ranch with the boundaries clearly spelled out in the deed, there was no reason why he couldn’t ensure its success.

  In addition to idleness, another vice he wouldn’t tolerate was impulsive spending, which he came to learn was a vice his new wife possessed. As he became acquainted with the ledger book, he noticed that there were large amounts of money the ranch earned that were unaccounted for. Returning home after a long day of driving cattle, he found a stack of calico, ribbons, and sweets next to the doorway, and he put two and two together.

  He hung his Stetson on a hook next to the door and placed his hands on his hips. “Susannah!” he called, his displeasure with her apparent in the way he said her name.

  His wife entered the sitting room and scurried over to give him a kiss. He returned the kiss, but then returned to the matter on his mind. Waving a hand at the stack of goods, he said, “What is this? Are you fixin’ to make all new clothes and chow on candy every day for a month?”

  It was the first time since the day of their meeting that Adam had scolded her. After living in a state of perpetual marital bliss, he wasn’t surprised to see the shock on his wife’s face. He was, however, surprised by the conversation that followed.

  Susannah stepped back and scowled. “I like to wear nice clothes. My dresses are threadbare and faded, and Caleb needs new trousers for when he starts school in a few months.”

  Adam swept his gaze over her. The dress she was wearing looked perfectly suitable to him. In fact, he thought she looked downright stunning. The dress was a bright yellow color that wasn’t faded in the least. Even if the fabric was worn out, he didn’t see why she needed all the new material, which would make at least ten dresses. He frowned and said just that, then added, “This is reckless spending. You need to return half of the fabric and take back all but one bag of candy. The ranch is doing fine right now, but we need to save for a rainy day.”

  As far as Adam was concerned, this was a fair request for a husband to make of his wife. He was responsible for the family’s finances, and if he thought the money wasn’t being used wisely, he felt he had every right to fix that.

  Susannah placed her hands on her hips, matching his stance. “We have plenty of money to spend a little extra.”

  He scowled down at her. “How would you know? You aren’t involved in the accounting.”

  Skirting the question, she said, “My pa would have let me buy all this and not said a word. And he was obviously involved in the accounting like you are.”

  “Well, your pa ain’t here, Susannah, and I’d wager that this was one of the reasons he set things up how he did in the will. He knew you’d need a man to see to the business affairs.”

  The implication that her father didn’t trust her to manage the ranch on her own was a sore subject, evidenced in the red anger creeping into her cheeks and around her ears. “You have some nerve, acting like it’s within your right to order me not to spend my own money.”

  Adam felt his jaw clench. He didn’t like the direction the conversation was going, but he wasn’t going to back down. “I’m only asking you to show some moderation, not stop spending altogether.”

  “That’s not fair,” she said, her voice rising with fury. “He was my father, it was my land to inherit! It’s my ranch, my money. And your asking sounds a lot like ordering, which you have no right to do.”

  Adam drew a deep breath as he felt his temper rise. He decided it was best to abandon the conversation for the time being, so he walked away from her to the bedroom. He needed to change out of his dusty work clothes and collect his thoug
hts. He felt tired, irritable, and now he was angry with his wife.

  Susannah was still rarin’ to fight, so she followed him into the bedroom. “I know the law says the money belongs to you, but don’t forget where this money came from and how you acquired it. You didn’t have two nickels to rub together before you met me,” she growled.

  It was a low blow. Adam didn’t respond right away. Instead, he concentrated on unbuttoning his dirty shirt and shucking it. Removing a clean shirt from the dresser, he finally spoke. “You’re right, I was a poor man before I married you. I lost my ranch, and that means I know what a ranch headed toward failure looks like. Lemme tell you something, Susannah, it wasn’t lookin’ good around here. Your foreman was acting soft and didn’t notice that the hands needed to feel the sharp end of a cattle prod. You weren’t feeding the chickens properly or tendin’ to the garden. What you needed was a man to take charge, and that man, for better or worse, is me.”

  She blinked and stared at him, looking unsure about how to respond.

  Gritting his teeth, he continued, “So tell me, is this how it’s going to be? Are you going to remind me for the rest of our lives together that I came with nothing and everything rightfully belongs to you?”

  Her eyes widened and her mouth rounded into an O. He watched as fury faded from her eyes, replaced by the beginnings of regret. “That’s not what I meant, Adam.”

  He folded his arms in front of his chest. “No? That’s what it sounded like to me.”

  She looked down and fiddled with the lace on her sleeves. “I just meant that…” Her voice trailed off. She looked up at him sorrowfully. “I’m sorry. I don’t really think that. It’s your money too.”

  “Look, Susannah, I told you why I lost the ranch I inherited from my father. At that time, I only had myself to worry about. Now suddenly you and Caleb are my responsibility. God forbid the ranch starts to head south for some reason, I want to know you won’t starve. Saving money is important, and I’m going to insist on it.”

  She rushed over. She placed her hand on his chest and looked up at him. “I understand, Adam, and I thank you for thinking about the future. I just—I’m used to being able to buy what I like. How you run things, it’s not what I was expecting. I wasn’t expecting you to run things at all.”

  Adam stiffened. He didn’t return her touch. Scowling down at her, he said, “Take back the materials, and from now on, you ask my permission before you buy something other than the basics.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said, sounding near tears. She took a step back and stared at the floor.

  He walked past her to exit the room.

  “Adam…” she said beseechingly.

  He stopped at the doorway and half-turned to look at her. His jaw ached from clenching it in anger, and he knew he looked as angry as he felt. She should have let him go. “Yes, Susannah?” he said more sharply that he should have.

  She visibly winced at the reproachful sound of his voice. “I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me?”

  He reckoned a better man would have offered her his forgiveness, but he felt no desire to accept her apology in that moment. She had dealt him a low blow by reminding him that he was a poor man benefiting from her riches, and it was taking everything in his power not to hurt her back with his words. He kept himself from lashing out at her, but that was all he was able to do. He could not offer her a kind word after her apology. Instead he said, “I’ll be out on the porch. Call me when supper is ready.”

  Tears flooded her eyes. “Yes, Adam,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  That evening when they lay in bed, Adam did not make love to her for the first time since they’d been married. Her words filled his mind, and he knew one of the reasons they affected him so much was that they were partly true. He hadn’t earned the ranch. It had been handed to him, and it made him feel wretched. How was he to be a good leader of his newly acquired family, when his wife knew that before he met her, he’d possessed little more than a change of duds and high hopes?

  A wave of sadness and anger over the ranch he’d lost washed over him. Since arriving in Virginia City, Susannah and Caleb had filled his heart with so much happiness that there wasn’t enough room for devastation about the loss of his pa’s ranch. With some of that joy shattered, Adam felt the pain of his loss once again. He fell asleep angry, and he woke up the same way.

  Chapter Eight

  Even though he was not the kind of man she originally wanted, Susannah loved Adam more and more as the days passed. He was firm and disciplined, a good leader, and so many of her worries melted away after he’d come into her life. Knowing he was managing the business affairs in such a way that their little family would be safe and well cared for gave her relief.

  But, as was wont to happen more often than she liked, her temper and impulsiveness had made an ugly appearance. In her anger, she had said the very words she suspected would hurt her husband, and she had been right. Instead of feeling victorious, she’d felt instantly regretful.

  Things were not the same in the days that followed. Adam was distant. He carried on with the habits of each day, but he no longer was warm toward her—only polite. He still kissed her hello and goodbye, but those gestures seemed more out of obligation than any meaningful sentiment. He didn’t make love to her, and she missed that. She wanted him to go back to handling her in the strong, tender way he had in the beginning, before she’d challenged his leadership by insulting him. She hoped every day that he would forgive her, but she couldn’t see any softening in his interactions with her.

  Though deeply saddened that she had damaged their relationship, she was grateful to notice that her words didn’t seem to have any negative repercussions when it came to Adam’s relationship with Caleb. From day one, Adam and her son had gotten along, and they only continued to bond. Caleb followed Adam around often, asking questions about whatever he was doing. Adam answered him patiently, taking the time to explain. Whenever he would ask the boy to do something, Caleb was quick to obey. The boy reserved his rebellion for when Adam was at the range, and Susannah wondered if he would ever act up in front of his new pa. She also wondered how Adam would react if he did.

  One evening the three of them were relaxing near the dim light of the lamp. Susannah rocked back and forth in her chair, which Adam had recently fixed, humming to herself and mending the curtains. Adam sat on a stool nearer to the light, while Caleb sat on the floor next to him and watched him whittle away at some wood.

  “What’s that, Pa?”

  Susannah smiled to herself over Caleb calling him Pa. Even if Adam never warmed to her again, she would be grateful that he was in their lives due to his kindness toward her son.

  Adam stopped whittling and held up his project so that the boy could see it. About halfway done, the sculpture was shaped into a horse’s head with a long flowing mane.

  “Oh! It’s a horse,” Caleb exclaimed, clapping his hands together and grinning.

  “Almost,” Adam said with a smile, and resumed his task of whittling the horse’s withers.

  “Can I try? I want to know how to make horses out of wood.” He leaned forward and rested his head against Adam’s leg.

  “I’ll give you a lesson tomorrow in the full light of day, how about that?” Adam said. “I’ll have to show you how to use the knife the right way so you don’t cut yourself.”

  One thing Caleb did not like doing was waiting, but he didn’t argue. He yawned and appeared to be struggling to keep his eyes open.

  Adam bounced his knee to jostle Caleb’s head. “Time for bed, little man.”

  Caleb’s posture became straighter as though to convince himself and Adam that he wasn’t sleepy. “I don’t want to go to bed,” he whined.

  Adam set aside the whittling project and looked down at him with a kind look in his eyes. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t wanna do, son. That’s just the way life is.” He took hold of the boy’s arms and pulled him to his feet. “Be a good l
ad and get to bed, yeah?”

  “Fine,” he said sullenly.

  “Not ‘fine’,” Adam admonished, his voice taking on a hint of sternness. “It’s either ‘yes, sir’ or ‘yes, Pa’.”

  Caleb frowned at him for a moment but then mumbled, “Yes, sir.”

  “Thank you. Go say goodnight to your ma.”

  Caleb scurried over to Susannah, who gave him a big kiss on his cheek. She was very proud of him for being so good and only resisting Adam’s order once.

  “Mama, can I have a peppermint stick before I go to bed?”

  Usually she would have said yes, but Adam’s success at putting his foot down fueled her courage, and she thought she might piggyback off his authority. “No, sweetheart. You already had one after supper.”

  “But, Ma! I want one,” he exclaimed. “That’s not fair, you always give me a sweet before bed.”

  “Not this time. Go on now, Caleb,” she said wearily.

  “I’m getting a peppermint, and then I’ll go to bed,” he declared and stomped in the direction of the kitchen.

  Susannah looked at Adam and shrugged. She decided it was better to let him have his candy as opposed to becoming victim to one of his tantrums.

  Adam narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head with disapproval. When she resumed mending, he let out a sigh of annoyance she knew was directed at her. Adam stood and strode to Caleb, who had already picked out a piece of candy from the brown paper bag on the table. Taking his arm, he removed the candy from his hand and dragged him toward his room, while Caleb wailed the entire time and refused to use his legs to walk.

  “Not only are you not getting candy tonight, young man, you won’t be getting any for the rest of the week for disobeying your ma.” Adam opened the door to his bedroom and tugged him along inside.