The Middle-Aged Amish Widow
Expectant Amish Widows Book 10
Samantha Price
Copyright © 2016 by Samantha Price
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.
* * *
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Other books in the Expectant Amish Widows series
About Samantha Price
Chapter 1
This is the day which the LORD hath made;
we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
* * *
“At least you’ll be able to rest now.”
Sarah Hersler sniffed and looked across at her closest friend, Naomi. “I don’t need to rest. I wanted him to get better, or just stay with me if he didn’t.”
Naomi grabbed Sarah’s hand. “He didn’t get better, not in this world. Now he’s pain-free and he’s at peace. Think of it that way. I know it’s hard—not that I’ve ever lost a husband, but I’ve had plenty of people close to me die.”
Sarah nodded knowing that Naomi’s mother had died only six months ago. “I will, but it’ll take time to adjust to him being gone. We married at eighteen and now I’m past forty. I’ve been married to him longer than I haven’t been—over twenty years.” Sarah looked around her living room, her eyes wandering toward the window, to the couch by the window where Thomas had taken to sleeping when he could no longer walk up the stairs.
Thomas had needed a lot of looking after, and at times it’d been tiring, but she would’ve carried on forever. God had taken him home a week ago, and earlier that day he’d been buried. And now the, almost- two- hundred, visitors for the after-funeral gathering had left the house.
“What are you thinking?”
“Just that I won’t know what to do with myself.”
“You can do anything you want now. The first thing you should do is take a rest. Maybe go somewhere for a vacation.”
“I couldn’t. Maybe later, but not at the moment.”
“You’ve worn yourself away to a shadow. There’s barely anything of you.
You could stay with Grace. She’s always asking you to stay.”
Grace was the sister that Sarah felt closest to, but she also lived the furthest away—too far to come back for Thomas’ funeral. “It’d be too much effort to get there and that would outweigh any benefit of the rest.”
“That’s true. Abe and I will look after your place if you want to go somewhere.”
“Denke. I know you will.” As much as she liked Naomi, all she wanted right now was to be left alone. Yes, she wanted to feel sorry for herself and think about how things used to be with Thomas back before he fell ill and needed constant care. “Do you want a cup of tea or anything?”
“Nee. I’m fine. I’ll clean up and then I’ll go unless you want me to stay longer. I’ve got Abe looking after the children.”
“Nee, don’t worry. The ladies did most of it before they left. There are only those few plates to wash.”
"You know where I am if you need me. Come over if you want some company. I'll send the children outside so it'll be a little quieter. And " Naomi laughed.
"I'll be okay. I'll come over and see you tomorrow."
"You will?"
"Yes I will. It's lonely here without him." She couldn't help her eyes going back to the couch by the window."
At that moment she was pleased she didn't have any children because they would've lost their father. She buried her face in her hands for having such a silly thought. She and Thomas had tried to have children for years but could never have any. And then Thomas fell ill. And it went completely out of her mind. This was the first time she thought about it in years. Now she was seeing it as being a blessing rather than a curse.
She had grown up with Naomi and had watched her bear six children while Thomas and she had gone without. It had been difficult to have feelings of joy for her friend while burying her own wretched unhappiness. Why does God bless some and not others?
Naomi came out of the kitchen and Sarah stared at her.
Sarah realized she'd been in a daze and hadn't even known that her friend had gotten up off the couch next to her.
"Are you alright?"
"I guess so. I have to be don't I?"
“Jah, you have to look after yourself for the sake of your child.”
Sarah’s hand went to her stomach. News of her pregnancy had put a smile on her husband’s lips. They’d found out a few weeks before he’d died. He knew he wasn’t going to see his child grow up, so he wrote the child a letter. Sarah kept the letter safe in her bedroom.
Naomi was the only other person with whom Sarah had shared the good news.
"I don't like leaving you. Do you want to come home with us?" Naomi asked.
"Nee, I'm okay but myself. I’m alright by myself. I just have to get used to it."
“Is that a car?"
"I think so; it sounds like one." Naomi jumped up off the couch and hurried over to the window. "Ach, nee!"
"Who is it?"
"Your mudder!"
"She said she wasn't coming and she's missed the whole thing."
“I’m going out the back way. I hope everything goes alright."
Naomi left. Sarah rested a hand on her belly, and wished she could join her.
She opened her front door and the taxi driver dropped her mother's bag at her feet. Then her mother walked over and looked her daughter up and down.
"The funeral was at ten o'clock this morning. You’ve missed the whole thing. Did you get the dates wrong?"
"I told you a long time ago that the next funeral I’d go to will be my own.”
"Sarah looked out down at the bag. "How long are you staying?"
"I thought now that Thomas is gone you could look after me."
"Why is that? Are you sick?"
"Nee, just old."
"Are you moving here? How long are you staying?"
"I thought I would move in with you." Her mother suddenly focused on something on Sarah's shoulder, then leaned in and brushed something off the shoulder of her dress.
Sarah looked down. “There’s nothing there.”
“Not now, but there was.”
Sarah frowned at her mother.
“There was some lint. Now, let’s go inside.”
"Should we talk about this, or something?" Sarah asked hopefully.
“We're talking about it now, aren't we? Be a good girl and take my bag to my room."
Chapter 2
But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice:
let them ever shout for joy,
because thou defendest them:
let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.
Psalm 5:11
* * *
The next day over breakfast, Sarah decided to tell her mother her good news. Aside from Sarah telling Naomi, she and Thomas had kept the news to themselves, but now it was about time that she let those closest to her share some good news.
Her mother’s mouth fell open and she did not look happy. “You're having a what?"
“A boppli.”
"Are you trying to tell a joke, Sarah? It’s not funny."
"Nee! This is not a joke or anything, Mamm. Thomas and I thought we'd never be able to have one, but," Sarah started crying, "now he won't be here to raise his kin."
"Stop blubbering, girl. Exactly what's the problem?
"There is no problem."
"Well I have one."
"What problem do you have, Mamm?"
"I'm not sharing the house with an infant. I have raised twelve kinner and I'm not going to go through any more sleepless nights. You're simply going to have to build on to the house.”
“What?”
“A grossdaddi haus. Everyone's got one. I think it odd that you and Tom didn't bother to build one on for me."
Sarah hated it when her mother referred to Thomas as Tom. No one else ever called him Tom, only her mother. "He had other things on his mind, like trying to keep well."
“He can’t have been too sick!” Her mother stared at Sarah’s stomach. Her left eyebrow was arched nearly to her prayer kapp and the corners of her mouth turned down disapprovingly.
Sarah squirmed in her chair. "I can't afford to build one on, so it’s out of the question. You might be more comfortable in your own haus. Or maybe you could move in with Liz."
"That won’t do. Liz and Liam have talked about having Liam’s vadder move in with them.”
Smart move, Sarah thought while watching her mother’s mouth forming words.
“We can simply sell my haus and I’ll be kind enough to give you the money to build on the grossdaddi haus.”
"Don’t you want your haus to be there so you can go back there?”
“There's only one place I'm going at my age. I've made the long trip here and I don’t intend on going back. I thought you’d be pleased to have me, now that Tom’s gone. We can keep each other company.”
Sarah stared at her mother as though in a trance.
Her mother repeated, “I'm not going back."
"So you’ve intended to sell your place all along. You’ve just up and left it without making arrangements to lease or sell it? Or have you done that?"
"Don't look at me like that. You can go there and arrange for it to be sold. I was going to lease it out, but since Tom left you with no money I suppose I'll have to make the sacrifice of selling my haus. I don’t know what the rest of my kinner will think when I go to Gott and all my money will be tied up in your haus. It’ll hardly be fair.”
“That’s true. Maybe you could call them and see if one of them would prefer to build onto their home. I truly don’t mind.”
“They’ve all got families, but you’re alone. Or, I thought you’d be alone. How long have you got to go?”
“A few months—around six.”
Her mother shook her head in disgust.
"It's a happy occasion, Mamm. Please don't act like it's not gut news. Having a boppli is what I've always wanted."
“I can't see why you could want something like that. Having one at your age is outrageous.”
“I’m only in my forties. That’s not old at all.”
“It is to be having your first one. And having one with no husband will be a bit odd.”
“There’s nothing I can do about either one, except to trust Gott that this is His plan for me.”
“What are you going to live on, then?"
"I told you already, Thomas and I have savings."
“You do? But not enough to build that extension on your haus for me?"
"Jah, that's right."
"The haus might take a while to sell. You should go there before you get bigger and people find out."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of."
“You’re too old to be in the ‘family way.’"
“It's perfectly acceptable these days to use the word ‘pregnant.’"
"I don't like that word. It sounds vulgar."
"You want me to go there—to your haus?"
"Jah. I don't want you to sell the house; a realtor can do that, but I want you to find the realtor who can make all the arrangements.”
Sarah breathed out heavily and nodded. "Okay."
“Okay, you'll do it? Or okay you'll think about it?”
“I’ll do it.” A few days away from her mother, right now, felt like a pretty good thing."
“Pssst!”
Sarah looked up to see Naomi outside the kitchen window. She beckoned her in before she got up from the kitchen table to open the back door.
“It’s safe; she’s asleep,” Sarah said.
“Gut! It’s really safe to come in?”
“Jah. She’s a sound sleeper.”
“What’s she doing here?” Naomi whispered as she walked with Sarah into the kitchen.
Sarah slumped into a chair. “She wants to stay.”
“Nee!” Naomi sat opposite her. “Why?”
Sarah shrugged. “Who knows? I told her about the boppli and now she wants me to build a grossdaddi haus on for her. She said she doesn’t want to hear the child crying all the time.”
“Why you? Why not your bruder or one of your schweschders?”
“I think they’ve all made excuses and I lost out because I couldn’t think of one quick enough. I wish they’d warned me.”
Naomi shook her head.
“She wants me to go back to Ohio, to sell her haus, so there'll be money enough to build.”
“That means she’ll be here forever and just when you’re supposed to be taking a breather.”
“I know. I wanted to get used to Thomas being gone, in peace.” Sarah nibbled a fingernail wondering if there was any other way around things. With her hand against her chest, Sarah said, “It’s too much. I feel I’ve got nothing left to give.”
“Especially not to her.”
Sarah’s jaw dropped open.
“I’m sorry, that was mean. I shouldn’t have said it. I know she’s your mudder, but she makes everyone around her miserable.”
“She’s got high expectations.”
“Can’t you think of a way out?”
Sarah shook her head. “Nee, I can’t.”
Chapter 3
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also:
knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
Romans 5:3
* * *
Sarah's mother, Ruth, had moved away from Lancaster County years ago—around the same time that Sarah had gotten married.
Sarah had only visited her mother once in the past five years. Sarah's mother and Thomas had never gotten along very well. It had been easier to keep the two of them apart, and the best way of doing that had been to keep distance between them. Thomas had objected to his mother-in-law being so forthright and opinionated about her grown daughter’s life.
It was a long bus ride from Lancaster County to Ohio. When the taxi that took Sarah from the bus stop pulled up in the driveway of her mother’s house, she was faced with an unexpected sight. The house sorely needed a coat of paint and the garden looked dreadful. She hoped that was all her mother had been talking about when she spoke of the "few things" that needed repair. If there was any work that needed to be done inside, as well as what she could see on the outside, it might mean that she’d have to stay there for longer than she’d planned.
After the taxi drove away, she placed her suitcase down by the door and searched for the hidden front-door key. Sh
e found it under a rock near the first step, just where her mother had told her it would be.
Sarah heaved a relieved sigh. She wouldn't have wanted to come all this way and be locked out of the house. Pushing the door open, she stepped inside and looked around to see why her mother had been so vague about what needed doing. The first thing she noticed was a large water stain on the ceiling of the living room. Holding her head, she hoped the roof wouldn’t need replacing—that would be costly. Sarah calmed down when she realized it might only need a small repair. Now standing under the stain she saw that it had dried out. Hopefully, an old leak that Mamm has since gotten fixed.
She took a deep breath and ventured into the kitchen. There she saw tiles missing at the back of the sink and the stove, and some handles of cupboards missing. When she opened one cupboard door, it fell down hanging on one hinge only. Okay, a little work in the kitchen too. After she did a quick look into all four bedrooms upstairs and the one bathroom downstairs, she knew without a doubt that she’d be overseeing this work for weeks.
Sarah walked into the living room and sank into a chair. Naomi had told her right after the funeral that this was her time. She hadn’t even gotten one day to herself. After Thomas had died, it was the funeral arrangements and organizing her house for the many visitors she knew she was going to have the day before and the day of the funeral. Then there was her mother’s surprise arrival, landing on her doorstep. It was too much. Sarah knew why her mother had chosen to live with her rather than one of her other siblings. It was because she had no children. Her mother wasn’t the typical grandmotherly kind.
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