by A. K. Evans
As I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall toward the steps I thought about my day to this point. I knew I’d need to tell Zane about my morning, but I didn’t want to interrupt him. His focus needed to remain on his training. I just hoped that after I told him what happened that morning that he’d continue preparing to defend his title at the US Open.
Chapter 23
Emme
I got to the bottom of the steps and walked out into the kitchen. Cruz was sitting at one of the barstools at the island with his laptop open. He acknowledged me with a smile when I walked in, but went back to the laptop. I began making breakfast and got the skillet warming up after setting the coffee maker to brew.
“You like omelets?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Peppers, onions, and a touch of cheese in it good for you or would you prefer something else?”
“That works for me.”
I nodded to him and went about preparing the omelets. I also popped some whole grain bread in the toaster. Once everything was finished I plated two pieces of toast and two omelets for Cruz and then a single omelet and piece of toast for myself. I set the plate in front of him and moved to grab some coffee. After pouring two cups, I gave one to Cruz and set out the cream and sugar for him. He closed his laptop, looked to the plate, and said, “Well it looks good and it smells good.”
I held up my hands with my fingers crossed and said, “Fingers crossed it tastes good.”
Cruz laughed and took a bite.
“So, the good thing is that now I have something to get on Zane’s case about,” he teased as he swallowed the first bite.
“And that would be?”
“That I had an incredible homemade breakfast by you and he didn’t get to enjoy it.”
I smiled at him, relieved that he like it.
“Well, that’s not exactly true,” I said.
He looked to me for further explanation as he took another bite.
“I prepared food last night for Zane. I baked him egg cups in muffin tins. Same ingredients and they heat up well the next day. All he had to do this morning was pop them in the microwave and he had breakfast. I also packed him a lunch so he wouldn’t have to eat food at the lodge.”
Cruz smiled at me and said, “Kind of bummed I can’t rub having breakfast with you in, but honestly, I’m pleased as fuck my brother found you.”
“I’m sorry?” I asked.
“Zane couldn’t have found anyone more perfect for him.”
I cocked an eyebrow at Cruz and I said, “If your brother hadn’t found me he wouldn’t currently be needing protection.”
“That may be true, but he also wouldn’t be the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”
I pulled in a sharp breath.
“It’s true. I give him shit and try to get on his case from time to time, especially around you, but the reality is I’ve never seen him with anyone who loves him the way you do. And, Emme, I haven’t been around you that much, but I know you really care about him.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I sat there staring at Cruz. That was such a nice thing for him to say. “Thank you for saying that,” I said. “I guess that means I have the approval of at least one member of the family.”
Cruz looked up at me, finished chewing, swallowed, and said, “You fucking serious?”
“Um, yes,” I answered, hesitantly.
“Beautiful, the entire family approves of you. After you and Zane left on Christmas, my parents, especially my mom, wouldn’t stop gushing over you. And Levi feels the same way I do. We can all see that you have a genuine heart. Not going to sit here and talk about other relationships that Zane has had, but I’ll tell you that none of the other girls he was ever with cared about him the way he deserves. They liked what he could offer them.”
“Well that’s shitty,” I responded honestly.
“That right there is what I’m talking about, Em. You aren’t that kind of person. You’re authentic; that’s hard to find. And, I’m sure Zane knows just how lucky he is to have you.”
I didn’t know what to say so I picked up my coffee mug and took a sip.
“So what about you?” I asked. “Is there a special lady in your life?”
He laughed and said, “Not at the moment.” Cruz didn’t offer any additional information and I didn’t want to seem nosy so I let it go.
We finished up breakfast and I cleaned up the dishes. Cruz got back to work on his laptop and I let him know I’d be upstairs doing some work. I decided to make my way up to the guest bedroom Zane was in last night working on his boards. I knew this was going to be a long week for Zane with training and since I’d be spending a couple hours at Wes’ place with Charley and the girls on Saturday I wanted to make sure I did what I could so that I would have as much time as possible with Zane on Sunday.
I looked around the room, decided on a stack of boards to start on, and tuned his boards for him. I spent several hours working on the boards and had gotten through about half of them when my stomach started growling. I decided to take a break so I could make lunch. Tomorrow was another day; I’d get the rest of the boards done then.
I walked downstairs and heard voices. As I entered the kitchen I saw Cruz and Levi standing there talking. I found it odd that Levi was here.
“Hi Levi,” I said as I entered.
He gave me a soft smile before he replied, “Hey, Emme. How are you doing? I heard it was a rough morning.”
I looked to Cruz.
“Worried about you, beautiful. Had to tell someone. It won’t go beyond Levi, though.”
I nodded and looked back to Levi. “I’m ok, thank you for asking. And, it’s ok that you told Levi, Cruz. Just please don’t tell Zane. I want to be the one to do that — after he gets home.”
“You’ve got it, Em.”
“Is everything ok?” I asked, my eyes on Levi’s. “I didn’t expect you were going to be here.”
“Everything is fine. Just wanted to come by to update Cruz on a few things.”
Why didn’t he just call him?
“It’s about him, isn’t it?” I asked, suddenly feeling my stomach grow cold. “Did you find him?”
At that moment, I heard my cell phone ringing on the counter. I walked over, picked it up, and saw Zane’s name on the display. I smiled at the display, swiped my thumb across the phone, and held it to my ear, “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. Just taking a break to eat lunch which, I’ve got to say, is way fucking better than the lodge food.”
I smiled into the phone and said, “I’m happy to hear that.”
“How’s it going there? You doing ok?”
“Yeah, I’m ok. Miss you, though.”
“I miss you, too, sweetheart. Cruz around?”
“Yes, actually. I just walked downstairs to make lunch and found him in the kitchen with Levi.”
“Levi’s there?” he asked, his voice indicating he was alarmed. “What’s going on?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I just asked them that, but then you called so I haven’t gotten an answer yet.”
“Give Levi the phone, Emme.”
“For what?” I asked.
“Emme, can you not fucking question me right now and just do what I asked? I’m about ready to pack up my shit here and come home. Put Levi on the fucking phone so I can find out what the hell is going on,” he shouted.
I swallowed hard at the harshness in his tone. “I’m sorry, Zane,” I said quietly as I looked to the ground. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Hold on,” I said, as I walked over to Levi. I held the phone out to him, tried to swallow past the lump in my throat and blink back the tears threatening to fall before I whispered, “He wants to talk to you.”
Levi gave me a concerned look and took the phone out of my hand. I began walking away knowing I was going to break down at any moment and didn’t want them to witness it.
I made it about four steps away from Levi when I heard, “Hey asshole, did you just fucki
ng yell at her?”
I froze.
Silence.
Then, Levi continued, “I fucking know because I just witnessed that girl’s face light up when she saw it was you calling and then not even minutes later she’s walking to me with tears in her eyes to give me the phone only seconds after apologizing to you for upsetting you. From where Cruz and I are standing I didn’t witness a single thing she could have done to upset you to the point you put that look on her face.”
Silence again.
Then, “Can’t say for sure since she started walking away the second I took the phone from her and now she’s frozen solid with her back to me and her head down.”
Fuck. I thought yesterday was embarrassing. Nope. This was way worse. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide at that moment, but my body wouldn’t move.
Levi finally said, “Not fucking discussing it right now.”
Silence again.
Then he roared, “Because she’s already way too fucking upset and is going to need you here when I tell her, that’s why. Though, considering the way you just treated her, maybe fucking not.”
At that, I ran out of the room and up the steps to the bedroom and didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation.
Zane
If they were giving out awards for the biggest fucking asshole in the world, I’d definitely be in the running. I was currently in my truck on the way back to my house. I cut my training session short today because I chose to call my girl when I took a break this afternoon and after hearing that Levi was at the house I yelled at her. I fucking yelled at my sweet girl who had been verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually assaulted for years prior. And she had been so conditioned to apologize when she thought she had done something wrong that she apologized to me after I yelled at her.
Yep.
No doubt I was winning that award.
My intention was not to yell at her, frighten her, or upset her, but the second I realized Levi was there I knew something was up. I knew he had news about her case and my stomach sank. He would have only come by if it was serious; I knew this and I lost it. And it was all because the thought of something happening to her would make me lose my fucking mind.
After I got a much-deserved lashing on the phone from Levi I packed up my gear, told Pierce I was done for the day, and took off. I pulled into the garage, parked the truck, and went inside. I found my brothers sitting at the kitchen island.
“Where is she?” I asked them.
“She took off right about the point Levi started yelling at you,” Cruz began. “Went upstairs and has been crying her eyes out. He tried to go in to talk to her, but she begged him to leave. He figured it was best to respect what she was asking for and leave her alone.”
“Fuck!” I yelled.
“That woman loves you, Zane.”
“I know that, Cruz.”
“Do you? Because I mean, she really fucking loves you. She came down here this morning and made breakfast. I told her I had ammunition now to give you shit about the fact that I got to eat her homemade breakfast while you were off training. And you know what she fucking told me? She told me that she planned ahead and last night she made you not only fucking breakfast to take with you this morning, but also packed you a lunch. That’s real fucking love, Zane. And yesterday in our offices she begged us to cover you because she’s scared for you. Fucking. Love. Bro. And let’s not forget the fact that she knows snowboarding is your passion and even though her psychotic ex-boyfriend is now threatening her again, she insisted that you continue training. That girl that you just reduced to tears for no fucking reason worries about you, cares about you, and loves the shit out of you and after everything she’s been through you fucking yell at her?”
“I’m a fucking asshole, Cruz. I know it. I also fucking know that Levi’s not here just to hang out. He’s got some bad shit to tell and when I realized it I lost my shit. If anything happens to her, swear to God, I don’t fucking know what I’ll do,” I countered and felt myself getting choked up.
Levi walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, “Zane, we get it. But if you can’t figure out how you should react to shit like this you’ll run the risk of losing the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you. And it won’t be because of anything her motherfucker of an ex-boyfriend does. Don’t let her love you the way she does and then treat her the way he did. She deserves better than that.”
“Need to go talk to her. Don’t fucking leave until I know what’s happening,” I ordered as walked to the stairs.
I took the steps two at a time and quickly walked down the hall to the bedroom. Putting my hand to the door knob I took a deep breath, turned it, and pushed through the door. When I opened the door, my stomach sank at what I saw. My sweet girl was sitting on the floor in the middle of her suitcases. I couldn’t speak; hell, I couldn’t fucking breathe.
Her eyes came to mine and a single tear spilled down each of her already tear-stained cheeks. Those tears were on me. I put them there.
“I had another nightmare,” she began after a moment of silence. “After you left early this morning I fell back asleep. That’s when it happened. It was the worst I ever experienced. He shot you. I didn’t know it right away, though. You never called for me; I didn’t know where you were. He beat me…badly. I hadn’t realized it, but he made you watch the whole thing. Then, when he stopped he drug you over closer to where I was. Your shirt was soaked in blood from where he shot you in the stomach. You never said anything to me, but you looked to me with a fear in your eyes that told me you feared for me. You weren’t scared for yourself; you were worried about me. I ended up waking up screaming just after that when he held his gun up to you and told me it was time to say good-bye. I couldn’t do it then — I’m not sure what makes me think I can do it now.”
I dropped to the floor in front of her. I saw her body tense. I fucking hated myself in that moment. “Emme, sweetheart, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I think it’s because it’s reality. The nightmares — they feel real, but I know they aren’t. This is real. What happened today was real. I can’t live my life constantly worried about whether I’m going to do something to upset someone. I realize I shouldn’t have questioned you when you asked me to put Levi on the phone. I am sorry for that. All that said, I love you, Zane. The time I have spent with you is beautiful. It’s always been beauty with you. I don’t want to ever remember it as anything but beautiful. And that’s why I need to go. I’m not willing to risk it turning bad and having ugly memories with you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better girlfriend. I really tried, Zane.”
No fucking way. I’d sooner die than have her leave.
“You can’t go, Em. You did nothing wrong today. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.”
She looked to me, confused.
“But I questioned you today.”
“So what? That’s no reason for me to yell at you. I was wrong, Emme. The reason I snapped was because I knew that Levi’s visit here wasn’t a good one. I’m worried sick about you and I let my emotions over that get the best of me. It doesn’t matter what my reasoning was, though; I never should have treated you that way. I am sorry.”
“You aren’t angry with me?” she asked.
“Not a chance, sweetheart. I’m pissed at myself, and it fucking kills me that you shed a single tear at all, let alone for me to be the cause of it.”
She stared at me, her bottom lip quivering.
“Emme, please come to me,” I said as I held my hand out to her.
Not even two seconds later and she was curled up in my lap holding on to me like her life depended on it. I held her tightly and apologized profusely to her for what I had done.
“Why didn’t you call me, Em?” I asked her after she had been sitting in my lap a while.
“When?” she asked.
“This morning. You didn’t call me about your nightmare.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt your training. I wa
nted you to be able to focus on what you needed to focus on. And after a bit I settled down and was ok. Cruz really did a great job helping me through it.”
“I don’t like not being here for you.”
She didn’t respond. She merely snuggled in tighter to me.
A few minutes later, I asked, “Sweetheart, are we good?”
She looked up at me with a sadness in her features.
“I hated this. I didn’t like the way it felt when I thought you were angry with me. To top it off, it was humiliating that it all happened in front of your brothers.”
“Emme, I know it’s probably easier said than done, but you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it. Cruz and Levi are pissed at me for the way I treated you and their anger is justified. Believe me when I say this is all on me. I’m sorry for the way I made you feel today. I can’t promise that my emotions won’t ever get the best of me again, but I can promise that I’ll try to keep it in check. I can also promise you that I would never do something to intentionally hurt you.”
“Thank you for the apology, baby. I love you and I want us to move past this…together.”
I let out a sigh, nuzzled my face into her neck, and whispered, “My sweet girl, I love you so much.”
Chapter 24
Zane
“You ready to see what Levi has to say?” I asked, still holding Emme in my arms on the floor of my bedroom.
“Not exactly, but I know we have to at some point so…” she trailed off.
“Whatever it is, Emme, we’ll deal with it together,” I reassured her.
Her arms that were wrapped around me squeezed me a little tighter before she pulled back and said, “I guess we should face the music now then.”
“Yeah, I think so, too. But first, give me a kiss.”
She smiled at me before she leaned back into me to press a kiss to my lips. I savored the taste of her for several minutes. Reluctantly, I pulled my mouth from hers and moved to stand. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go down.”
