by Zoe York
“I’m never going to stop saying it.”
“Is that a promise?” He flicked his eyes over to his sister. “Dani, you’re my witness.”
“I’m right behind you, we’ll find you in London.”
A tortured look twisted on his face. “Listen, Liv…”
Behind her, Dani cleared her throat. “I’ll tell her, Rafe.”
The team moved in around them again, and Dani tugged her back out in the hall.
“Tell me what?”
“Three other people were also shot. One of them was Lynn Howard. She didn’t make it.”
Olivia heard the words her sister-in-law said, but they didn’t make any sense. “What? How?”
Dani shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know.”
Lynn was dead. Panic swelled inside Olivia’s chest and she started crying again. Would she eventually run out of tears? Was that possible? “Where were they?”
Dani looked at the ground. “Rafe’s team executed warrants at a grow-op today. Lynn was there. We don’t know why.”
“Who…” She couldn’t ask the question—she didn’t want to know the answer.
Dani shook her head. “That’s all I know.”
Her kids. Olivia’s stomach heaved and she pressed her lips together, willing herself not to hurl in a hospital corridor. She lurched across the hall to an empty bathroom, barely shoving the door closed behind her before she lost her lunch.
When she came back out, Dani and Dean were waiting together, arguing quietly.
“Look, Dani, I’ve got to stick around for the SIU investigation. But I don’t want you driving down by yourself.”
“The last thing Olivia needs is a crowd of people—”
“Jake’s not a crowd, he’s her friend. He’s Rafe’s best friend. He’s going.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. She so did not have time for this. She stomped across the hall. “Dani, suck it up for one day. Dean…where’s Ryan?”
Pain lanced across her friend’s face. Ryan was his best friend. There’d been no love lost between Dean and Lynn, but that felt petty to remember in this moment. “In a quiet room, uhm…” He pointed vaguely in a direction away from the Emergency ward. “He’s with Lynn’s parents right now.”
“And the others?”
Dean shook his head. “Don’t know. Both guys are from the tactical unit. You probably don’t know them. One got hit in the thigh, but it missed the bone. He’s staying here. The other guy…” He looked at Dani.
“No news yet. He took the first chopper out.”
Olivia shuddered. She needed to sit down. This was just all too much to process. She turned in a small circle, but there weren’t any chairs. No. She needed to be strong. “Okay, let’s go to London.” She gave Dean a quick hug and headed in search of Jake.
* * *
— —
* * *
The car rolled to a stop and a drive-thru intercom crackled to life. From the passenger seat, Jake glanced back to where Olivia was pretending to sleep. “You want anything?”
She shook her head, but then her stomach gurgled. “Maybe a bagel and tea.”
She pressed herself up and glanced through the window. She recognized Listowel immediately. Another hour to London.
They ate in silence as Dani accelerated out of town. Olivia had expected…not fighting, exactly, but there was always a crackling tension between Jake and Dani. Not today. Somber worry and grief wrapped around all of them. Jake hadn’t even complained about Dani driving. Her car had been the obvious choice. The back seat was more comfortable and Jake’s truck was full of lumber—a stupid load to haul south for no reason.
But it wasn’t like a Foster boy to ride shotgun and not bitch about it.
As they neared London, Jake’s phone rang. “It’s Dean,” he explained, glancing at the display quickly before answering.
His end of the conversation was mostly listening noises. Grunts and affirmative hums. Olivia’s pulse ratcheted up. She leaned forward between the front bucket seats, her hand squeezing Jake’s upper arm. He hung up and quickly reassured her that all was fine. Dean had arranged for a London city police officer to meet them at the hospital entrance and help them find the surgery waiting room.
“So he’s gone in, then? Any update on how long it might take?”
Jake shook his head. They’d find out soon enough.
Their destination was the level 1 trauma hospital in the south end of town and Olivia thought that drive through the city took almost as long as the rest of the journey from Pine Harbour. They parked not far from the helipad where Rafe would have landed and the thought sent shivers down her spine. Please let him get through this alive. So much could still go wrong in surgery and they really didn’t know anything about his condition. She tried to take comfort in the fact that she’d seen him. Talked to him. Touched him.
At some point on the drive, night had fallen and she’d missed it. Now it was dark and cold, that biting early winter temperature drop that annually surprised everyone. Jake and Dani introduced themselves to the waiting officer, but Olivia had tunnel visioned on the sliding glass doors in front of her. Somewhere on the other side, Rafe was in an operating room.
She was done sobbing, but a few quiet tears slid down her cheeks as they headed inside. In the waiting room, case numbers were displayed on small TV screens mounted around the room. The officer who’d met them had Rafe’s case number and handed it over before leaving to find someone to talk to them. A resident came and introduced himself, explaining that they expected the surgery to wrap up within the hour, and that Rafe would probably spend the night in the ICU before moving to a private room.
Dani asked a few questions about that, knowing more about the details than either Jake or Olivia, and Olivia pretended to listen like she understood. Really, she was just looking for the key words. As expected. No complications. Physical therapy. Additional surgery. Follow up in clinic. Anticipate six months recovery.
“He’s going to hate that,” she whispered.
Once they were alone again, Dani pulled her in for a hug. “He’s going to be thankful he’s alive. And I’ll kick his ass if he forgets.”
Dani’s shoulder was just the right height for Olivia to rest her head. “You should call your mom,” she said after a minute.
Jake laughed. “I’m texting Tom, he’s practically sitting on her and Mr. M to keep them from getting in their car and driving here.”
Dani sighed. “We won’t get to see him tonight, so we might as well get a hotel room.” She quickly corrected herself when Olivia tensed against her. “Not you, honey. You’ll be able to sit with him for a bit, and stay here…and then you can sleep tomorrow. I know I won’t be able to drag you off. But Jake and I might as well take shifts. And then you’ll have a quick place to shower and change tomorrow.”
“I didn’t even think of a change of clothes,” Olivia said quietly.
“I brought my gym bag from my locker, and I can probably hit an open-late Wal-Mart tonight too. Don’t worry about that.”
Jake disappeared for a few minutes, returning with a cardboard tray of takeout coffee cups and a couple cookies. They munched and flipped unseeingly through magazines. At some point Jake noticed that Rafe’s case number now read out that he was in recovery, and then Olivia’s heart rate took off. How long until she could see him?
Too damn long, she decided by the time a nurse called out her name. She jumped up.
“Rafaelo Minelli is your husband?” She nodded. Minor technicalities didn’t matter. “He’s still in recovery, but he’s the only person in there right now, and he’s asking for you.”
Olivia whispered her thanks and followed along meekly, as if the gift of seeing him might be yanked away at any second.
The nurse led her into a large room, empty save for a single gurney partially obstructed by two curtains pulled shut to the patient’s toes.
Rafe. Olivia’s heart leapt into her throat. She edged forward, nervous at what she migh
t find.
The first thing she noticed was how pale he looked. Dark stubble and harsh, bruising circles under his eyes made the white of his face even starker. His eyes were closed, and she held her breath for a minute, wanting to collect herself fully before she had his attention. Her gaze raked over the huge white bandage and cast contraption covering his right arm and much of his chest. He had an IV in his left hand, but he didn’t look like someone on his way to intensive care.
For the second time that day, she was scared to touch him, but it was her turn to be strong. She pulled up tight against the gurney and leaned in close. “Hey, sweetie. I’m here.”
He slowly blinked his eyes open and offered a weak smile. “They keep taking me away from you. That has to stop.” His words were slow and slightly slurred.
“I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
“I’m going to marry you again, Liv. And I want to have babies.”
She tried to tell herself the words were driven by drugs and life-altering trauma, but they still took her breath away. She wanted that more than anything. “Whatever you want, sweetie.”
“Four kids. And a dog.”
“That’s sneaky, adding the dog on after I’ve said yes.”
“Did you?” he murmured, his eyes drifting closed again. “Did you say yes?”
The silent tears returned and she nodded, but he couldn’t see her.
* * *
— —
* * *
He was sick of the beeping. And even though Liv was a constant visitor, between his temporary cast and the drain and the damn pain medication, he felt like it had been weeks since he’d properly held her. Not to mention the stream of doctors, nurses, medical students. And earlier that day, he’d had to put up with an SIU investigator as well. Forty-eight hours had somehow stretched into an eternity. He was being released in the morning, but they weren’t going far. He needed to stay close to the hospital for a week of outpatient care before transferring his care back up north, so the police association had arranged for a short-term furnished condo rental. Dani and Jake had driven home the day before, and his parents arrived today. He would have insisted they stay in Pine Harbour, but they drove down separately, his mom bringing Liv’s car so they’d have a vehicle in London.
And they’d promised not to stay long.
The door to his private room swung open and the glorious scent of deluxe pizza made him drool.
“How’s my boy?”
Rafe grinned at his dad’s booming voice. Probably wanted a pretty nurse to come and tell him to keep it down. “Hungry.”
“We brought you pizza and salad, I can only imagine what blech the hospital served you for dinner.” His mom moved the pile of papers and oversized water cup from the moveable table and plunked down his food.
The Jello had actually been pretty good, but Rafe wasn’t about to tell her that. He took as deep a breath as he could manage without jarring his shoulder. His parents stood side-by-side at the foot of his bed trying really hard not to look worried. He smiled. “Thanks.”
“Alessandro, go ask one of the nurses for another chair.” His mom offered him a polite smile. “Olivia will be here in a minute. She drove herself.”
Shit. “Did she tell you I asked her to?” No, of course she hadn’t. That silly ninny. “Ma, I appreciate you guys offering to drive her back and forth from the hotel yesterday and helping her get settled at the condo today, but we haven’t had any time alone since this happened. She’s going to stay here for a bit tonight after you go.”
“Visiting hours—”
“Don’t apply to my wife.” He made sure his tone left no room for negotiation. He might be a temporary invalid, but he didn’t need Liv to put up with any flack on his behalf. “Got it?”
His dad pulled Anne in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “We got it.”
“Go, chair, now,” she shooed him away, but she was smiling for real now.
Liv slid in just as his dad returned and after a quick hand squeeze and a kiss to the forehead, they dug in to dinner. While they were eating, his evening nurse came in and introduced herself, took his vitals, had a quick look at his incisions, and left them alone again. Now that he’d mastered getting in and out of bed pretty much on his own, she’d have no reason to bother him for another four hours when his next vitals check would happen. He’d offered to take his own damn temperature but that didn’t get any traction.
As soon as he politely could, he started yawning. Get out, get out, get out, he wanted to tell his parents. His mom studiously ignored the cue, but his dad gave him a broad wink and started packing up. “We’ll take the leftovers back to the condo. What time do you think you’ll be busting out of this place tomorrow?”
He repeated what the resident had told him earlier, that it would be after rounds, but the paperwork could take a while. Probably mid-morning.
While his parents were bundling up in their winter coats, Liv yawned for real and he felt a pang of guilt for asking her to stay. You want to go? he asked with a wrinkle of his brow. She shook her head and traced her index finger over the back of his hand with a little smile.
As soon as they were alone, he shoved away the table stretched over his hospital bed. “Come here, baby.”
She stood gingerly and looked at the narrow strip of bed between his left side and the railing. “Uhm…”
“We’ll make it work.” His voice caught on a weird note and he felt hot, prickly tears well up in his eyes. Oh, hell no. He gruffed up his voice. “Damnit, Liv, here, now.”
She laughed and moved the table fully out of the way, then slid onto the foot of the bed.
He awkwardly patted his hip. “I won’t bite.”
“How disappointing,” she whispered, and slowly crawled toward him, carefully avoiding putting any pressure on his body. He wanted to tell her it was fine, but it probably wasn’t. Even the sophisticated pain management schedule he was on didn’t keep him fully comfortable. He’d been warned it would get worse before it got better, as he figured out his limits.
She settled in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest and her hand on his abdomen. He wiggled his left leg and she made a contented noise as she finished entwining their bodies. He said a quiet prayer of thanks as they lay there, just breathing together.
Fuck me, I could be dead right now. A hard knot formed in his throat and he closed his eyes.
“Rafe?” Her voice was shaky and small. He squeezed his arm around her as best he could. “I talked to Dani this afternoon. Lynn’s funeral will be the weekend after next. After we get home.”
He grunted. It was the best he could do without crying and he sure as shit wasn’t going to do that. He needed to talk to Ryan. No, first he needed to talk to Dean. Find out what he needed to know about why Lynn had been there. How it all had gone so terribly wrong.
And then he needed to man up and call his friend. There weren’t any words to properly express his grief at not being able to save her life. Fuck.
“It’s okay,” Liv whispered, and he realized he’d lost his fight against the tears. Motherfucker.
She held him as he composed himself, and then they talked quietly into the night. He told her all of the things he’d been thinking in the weeks before the shooting. That he couldn’t change his work habits in big ways, but he’d make whatever shifts he could to prioritize their relationship. She told him it didn’t matter, but it did. It mattered more than anything else, especially now.
Chapter 20
“DON’T even think about it,” Olivia warned as Rafe reached for his keys on the hook by the door.
“You’re seriously bossy, you know that?”
She’d never been in the past, but almost losing Rafe had changed that. She never wanted to let him out of her sight. “I’ll drive you to your physio appointment.”
“You’ve got work to do.”
“And I’ll do it when we get back.” Dancelight had been really good about letting her cut her hours back until af
ter Christmas. The temporary loss of income had been mitigated nicely by the fact that she wasn’t carrying the mortgage on her own anymore. While they were in London, Rafe’s family had packed up his apartment and moved him back into their house, at her request.
They’d been home for two weeks. Rafe was cut out of the plaster cast before they left London, and at first blush he looked like his old self.
But there was no way he’d be able to brace his arm against the wheel if he hit black ice or quickly shift the truck between reverse and drive if he needed to rock his way out of a ditch. They’d had four days of snow and freezing rain. There was no way he was driving himself all the way to Owen Sound and back. The distance alone would be tiring for him.
“I’m driving. End of story.”
He lifted his eyebrows, obviously choosing to be amused instead of annoyed. But as she got closer, he flipped the keys to his left hand and raised them over his head. “Sure thing, short stuff.”
She batted at his arm, but she wasn’t going to haul on him. What was he thinking?
“Come and get them, Liv,” he repeated, his eyes darkening as he looked down at her. “Tackle me to the ground if you can’t climb me.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, sweetie. Come on, we have to get going.”
“We’ve got a couple of minutes. This is important.” He slid his right hand around her waist and brought her in close enough so she could feel the beginning of an erection. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper. “You need to stop thinking of me as an invalid.”
“I don’t—“ She cut herself off. Yeah, maybe she had been. But he’d been shot. “I’m just being careful.” You’re too important to me. God, just the thought of losing him made her teary.
“It’s going to be a long time before I can shoot a gun or play basketball, but I can drive. And Liv…” He nudged her cheek with his lips on his way to her ear. “I can accept blow jobs like a champ. Just sayin’.” She growled as he pressed the keys into her palm. “Come on. I’ll nap while you work up a good rage, and then I can drive back while you blow me.” He was good. Her lips twitched as he gazed down at her. “I’m. Not. Broken.”
