by Zoe York
“The party is going so well,” I said. “Do you think Gran is enjoying herself?”
“Well, she’s still there, as far as I know. That’s a good sign.” Her voice was soft, uncertain in the darkness.
“Thanks for meeting me out here,” I said, trying to pad the way gently into the conversation I wanted to have, though I wasn’t sure exactly what to say.
“Sure,” she said. “But I only have a second. People will start leaving now that we’ve had cake. I need to wish them goodnight. I’m the hostess.”
“Of course, yeah.” I turned toward her, just her outline visible against the light spilling in from the open barn door. “Okay, well.” I took a deep breath, trying to still my racing heart, to make sense of the thoughts flying through my mind. “I looked at houses today.”
That wasn’t quite where I’d hoped to start.
Tess turned to look at me, and even in the dark I could see her eyebrows go up in confusion. “Um. Okay,” she said slowly. “Wait, what?”
“To buy. I bought a house here.” Closer. Still nonsensical.
Think, Ryan.
This was easier when I had a script.
Tess didn’t speak immediately, so I tried again. “I’m going to have a home here. I love it here—the water, the trees. It’s so different than any place I’ve ever been.”
“Oh.” There was an edge of disappointment there, and I realized I didn’t say what I needed to say. “Okay, well …” Tess moved to stand and I caught her hand.
“Wait, please.” I held her soft hand between my palms, resisting the urge to bring my mouth to her smooth skin. “It’s not just the scenery, Tess. I want to be here to be close to you, to give us a chance.”
Tess tugged on her hand, but I didn’t let it go, standing to face her instead.
“Ryan, that doesn’t make any sense,” she said, shaking her head and sounding small and defeated in the darkness. “People don’t do things like that. I mean, buy a vacation home, sure, yeah. But you’re not going to stay here. You’re not going to live here.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re Ryan McDonnell!”
My name sounded like a curse on her lips.
“You’re a movie star, and women all over the world throw themselves at you. You’ve got a rising career, you’re linked to America’s Sweetheart. Southern Maryland has nothing to offer you.”
“It has you, Tess.” I kept her hand in mine, but lifted my other hand to capture her jaw, to still the shaking of her head. “It has everything I want because it has you.”
I felt her soften beneath my touch, and though there were more words that needed to be said, more things that had to be cleared up and explained, in the moment, I brought my lips to hers because the universe demanded it, pulling us together like it was meant to be. She melted into my touch, and as our lips met, I felt my future unfurl before me like a long ribbon with no end, undulating in the breeze blowing over the Potomac.
This.
But a second later it was over, the ribbon snapping and sinking beneath the murky water.
“Ryan, no.” Tess broke the kiss, pulled herself from my arms. “This isn’t right. You’re with my sister, and I’m not getting in the middle of all of that. I don’t live in the same world you do, and I can’t afford to get swept up in movie star fantasies. I’m too old for that. I live in the real world.” Her voice broke as she said, “Just stay away from me, and then go home. Go back to Hollywood, where you belong.”
She turned and walked out the big barn door, leaving me standing in the dark, my heart racing and my future becoming a distant icon as she moved away from me.
More than ever, I knew exactly what I wanted.
I wanted her, and I didn’t care about anything else.
Chapter 22
Tess
I practically ran out of the barn. The last thing I needed was more time in his arms, more ideas blooming in my mind about what might be possible between us. I’d settled myself with reality this afternoon. Movie stars were Juliet’s business, not mine. And I wouldn't survive the heartbreak that would come with Ryan McDonnell.
I slid back into my seat next to Granny, ignoring her questioning stare, and shoveled a huge bite of my waiting cake into my mouth.
“Jesus, slow down, Tess,” Granny said, cringing at my gluttony. “You’ve already had a brush with death once today, and I swear to God I’m going first. I’ll stab myself with this butter knife if I have to.” She picked up a piece of flatware from the table and waved it menacingly as I scarfed down cake.
Hell, if I couldn't have Ryan, at least I could have chocolate and cherries. I closed my eyes and forced myself to enjoy it. Yes. Cake. I would have a future filled with sugary smooth cake and frosting. It would be glorious, and I would just have to get bigger kayaks. And bigger clothes to fully accommodate the true love of my life. Chocolate cake.
Mmmm. I was shoving another mouthful in, telling myself I was fine when I heard Ryan’s voice over the speakers.
“I hope you don’t mind if I take just a second to say something,” he said, and the crowd quieted again.
Chapter 23
Ryan
I hadn’t been sure what would happen when I picked up that microphone. I only knew I had to.
“What are you waiting for?” Juliet had asked, shoving me in the ribs with her small hand.
My eyes found hers. “But … the cameras. Alison is on us like Gran on a Manhattan.”
Juliet shrugged and her eyes scanned the room. I assumed she was looking to see if Alison was watching, but her gaze moved somewhere else and I followed the direction, but as I turned my head, she laughed lightly and turned back to me. One of her security guards at the tent entrance gave me a light nod and I lifted my hand. I was too nervous to wonder what that was all about. At his side, Jack and the chicken stood, the chicken wearing a little bow tie for the party.
I thought it was a girl chicken. I guessed girls could wear bowties too.
“I’m sick of pretending,” Juliet finally said, pulling me back from my chicken ponderance. “And I don’t think it makes things better. Mostly, I think it hurts the people we care about.”
“If we stop pretending,” I reminded her, “the press goes back to pulling apart the details of your divorce. They’ll find out about the settlement. The tape.”
“They’ll find out anyway.” Her voice was tired, resigned. “It’s like trying to stop a tidal wave with a silk scarf, Ryan. In the long run, it’s impossible. And really … what’s the worst that could happen?”
“The scarf would be wrecked,” I quipped. I was still considering her question, knowing full well the worst that could happen would happen to Juliet, not to me. My agent might be disappointed. My career might not explode as we’d hoped, but my agent was going to be plenty disappointed anyway, when I let her know I was planning to relocate to Maryland. What difference would this make? Juliet went on.
“Please put my sister out of her misery,” she said. “Look at her, she’s so consciously trying not to look at you, it’s hurting me. And I think she might be trying to commit suicide via cake.”
“She is?”
“Oh my God, do I need to do this for you guys?” Juliet started to stand up.
“No, no.” I pulled her back down and was surprised when the burly security guard who’d been by the door was suddenly standing behind us.
“Easy,” he growled. I released Juliet, looking between them. What was going on here?
“It’s fine,” Juliet said, glancing up at him, something soft in her eyes. “Jace, I’m fine.”
The mountain of man backed off and I raised an eyebrow at Juliet. “Pretty devoted security there.”
She ignored my comment. “Do I need to tell my sister how you feel?”
“No,” I said. “No, of course not.”
A minute later, I had the microphone in my hand and was running my mouth, wishing I’d planned out something to say. My stomach was in my throat
and my palms were so sweaty I had to keep switching hands and rubbing them across my tux, but somehow I managed to get out the words I needed.
They were crazy words—even to my own ears. I wasn’t just talking when I said I’d never believed in love at first sight. What an insane idea. Love involves time and experience, shared hardship and a deep chemical attraction, right? How could anyone possibly believe they loved someone else the second they first saw them? It sounded impossible.
But I knew for a fact it wasn’t. It was real. It wasn’t like my rational mind looked at Tess Manchester and said, “yep, that one.”
But still, I knew it was true.
Chapter 24
Tess
“Hi everyone,” Ryan began as the cake turned to cement in my mouth. “I’ve gotten to meet a few of you here tonight, and maybe a couple of you know me a little bit from before tonight.” A low chuckle rumbled through the crowd. They knew who Ryan McDonnell was. Half the women in the tent had cocktail napkins and pens sitting in front of their dinner plates, trying to work up the nerve to ask him for an autograph.
“Anyway, I’m Ryan, and the first thing I wanted to say is happy birthday, Helen.” He turned and smiled at Gran, who had dropped her knife and was grinning at him and eating her cake, watching this unexpected spectacle. She gave him a quick thumbs up, and I watched Ryan take a deep breath, seem to force his broad shoulders down, and turn to look back at the crowd.
“Quit it,” I hissed at her. “You’re not on his side.”
“His side?” she looked at me questioningly.
God, he was handsome. I wished I didn’t notice.
But it didn’t hurt anything just sitting here appreciating, right?
Eating cake, looking at handsome men. Those things were harmless.
I’d noticed the way he looked earlier, of course. But now I could openly appreciate it. The tux fit him perfectly, the jacket hitting him just high enough to appreciate the way his waist narrowed into lean hips and that perfect round ass. His jacket hugged his arms and shoulders, rippling as he moved and leaving no doubt about the sheer strength of the body beneath. A body I’d gotten to run my hands over, trace my mouth across. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and tried not to remember.
It was impossible, and my body heated at just the memory of his stubble grazing the sensitive skin along my collarbone.
“I also wanted to thank you all for welcoming me here. The Manchester family especially. Juliet, of course, and Tess.” He looked at me then, and when our eyes met, an electric zing jolted through me. I’d been avoiding making eye contact with him all night. Especially since returning from the barn. Now that I had, I knew why I had to avoid it. I hoped I’d still be able to walk straight.
“I’ve never been to Maryland before,” he went on. “Never really even considered the place, if you want the truth. I grew up out west, and my education probably wasn’t what it could have been. Will you all hate me if I tell you I never knew Maryland had beaches?” He shrugged as a few people laughed. “I knew about the crabs.” He delivered this line looking right at me, and I felt my cheeks heat, but made sure not to let my eyes meet his for more than a glance.
As the crowd shifted in their seats, I wondered what the hell he was doing. Was he really this much of a diva that he needed to commandeer the microphone at an old lady’s birthday party? But then he started in a different direction.
“Most of you here have been told I came to Maryland with Juliet. That’s true. At least in one sense. We did fly out here together. We’ve been working together, and our agents thought it would be a good idea for us to spend more time together off set. That kind of thing is good for the movie. I suggested to Juliet it would be even better if people thought we were together—like, as a couple.”
The crowd murmured and a burst of shock ran through me. It hadn’t been his idea. She’d told me her agent orchestrated the whole thing. Why was he lying?
“That kind of falseness is part of our business, I guess. My agent thought it was a great idea, good for my career especially. And Juliet was sweet enough to invite me to join her here to celebrate her grandmother’s birthday party. So I came along.
“I thought I’d hang out, meet some people, pretend to be dating Juliet Manchester and then go back to LA with a bright and shiny newly buoyant career. I hoped for all that really, because I honestly haven’t really ever hoped for anything else. Hollywood saved me from some of the things that weren’t great in my life, gave me things I’d never dreamed I’d have. But I think it takes some things from us, too.” He looked at Juliet, and she nodded at him.
I watched her a beat longer, and had the sense she had just given him some kind of silent permission, her approval.
“So when I got here and met a woman who made me reevaluate everything I thought I knew about the world, about myself, about what was possible and what I thought I wanted … well, I didn’t expect any of it.
My heart raced and I glanced at my sister, who looked perfectly fine with this little speech. He was going to out them? What would happen to her? At the same time, my skin warmed with the knowledge he was talking about me, talking to me, and my desire to know what he’d say next overwhelmed my worry for my sister.
“And when she allowed me time to know her a little bit, time to explore this amazing place and to imagine a life that didn’t include fake relationships, a security detail, and a magazine reporter scribbling your every word on a tablet—“ he paused and most of the crowd turned to look at Alison Sands, who was too busy scribbling his every word into a tablet to notice. “Well, Tess Manchester let me dream with her just a little bit. And the funny thing is, I don’t think any of it was a dream. I think what you people have here, this place, this life—this is the real world. And what you have here, whether you know it or not—getting to be this close to Tess Manchester every single day? I’d trade anything for it.”
My heart was skittering unsteadily, a mix of embarrassment and confusion rising inside me. I didn’t like being the center of attention, and the whole room was looking at me now, wondering what the hell Ryan was talking about. I wondered what the hell he was talking about. Because I didn’t dare to hope that whatever he’d been trying to say in the barn could actually have been real.
“Tess,” he said, crossing the room to stand just next to where I sat. My heart pounded and I felt my cheeks flame as hope blossomed inside me. He reached down and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. He lowered the microphone a bit and turned me to face him, so we were standing face to face, the mic between us. It was obvious he’d handled a microphone before, an advantage of his background, I supposed. I still couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes, so I stared at his bow tie instead. It was an emerald green, like my sister’s dress. “Tess,” his voice was softer now, but still projected through the silent tent. “I’m so sorry about all the pretense, the acting … about it all.”
Someone in the crowd called out, “You should apologize for the way Charade of Stones ended!”
I stifled a laugh.
Who knew we had hecklers in Southern Maryland? But I couldn’t disagree with the sentiment.
Ryan shook his head, smiling in an apologetic way, like he agreed with the heckler. “Maybe I deserved that. But it wasn’t the acting there, right?” He looked around, chuckling, but then turned his focus back to me. “Still, about the acting. I can’t do it anymore, but not just because it was a bad idea in the first place and it never felt right. But because it isn’t fair to you. Or to my heart.
“I’m falling in love, Tess.” The crowd rustled in excitement, and I just stood there, not breathing, not looking at his face as he talked to me, inches away, everything in my body hanging on his next word. He took my hand again, where it hung at my side, and the warmth of his rough thumb rubbed over the top of my fingers, making my knees actually wobble. “I’m falling in love with Maryland, and with a life that includes crabs and rivers and miles of cornfields. But mostly, I’m falling in love with you.�
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The room was silent, except that I thought people could probably hear my heart galloping loudly in my chest. I sucked in a breath and looked up, meeting his warm beautiful eyes.
“I bought a house,” he said, more quietly.
“You said that before. But I don’t understand.” This didn’t seem to fit with the rest of his speech.
“That’s what I was trying to tell you before. Here. I bought a house here. I’m going to stay.”
I could feel my head shaking, but I didn’t remember deciding to shake it. He couldn’t stay here. He was a movie star. And I thought he’d probably actually fallen in love with my sister. None of this made any sense.
“What about Juliet?” I asked in a whisper.
“She’ll be okay.”
“No, I mean … don’t you love Juliet?” It might have been dense, but I needed to hear it. Every boy I’d ever loved had loved Juliet. The idea that this one—this perfect man who I’d worshipped much longer than I was comfortable admitting—might choose me first? It just seemed impossible.
He laughed, a low rumble that twisted up my insides and made me want to lean my head into his chest to hear it better. “No, silly. I love you. Since the moment I first saw you—and I’ve never believed in love at first sight. But I love you, Tess. Only you. And I want to stay here, if you’ll let me.”
I was still shaking my head, but now I heard myself laugh incredulously. “If I’ll let you?”
“Let me stay. Let me take you out on a real date. On a bunch of real dates. Be my girlfriend. Maybe one day … be my wife?”
My mind exploded in sparks at the thought of marrying Ryan, and something inside me—my soul, maybe?—whispered yes. Yes.
The crowd erupted into applause, and for a second I thought maybe he had a ring hidden in his tux somewhere, but I was relieved when he didn’t produce one. All of this was overwhelming—I’d known him three whole days, after all. A ring would have been actual insanity.