by Zoe York
“Eat a baby?” Dakota asked.
“Not really,” Honor said. “It just means she’s yummy. I mean, she’s pretty and I just want to kiss her all over.”
“Oh,” Dakota said. “That’s weird.”
“I have a thing for babies,” Honor said. “What can I say?”
Violet flushed with shame. Honor couldn’t have a baby of her own. Seeing a newborn must hurt. And here was cavalier Kyle Hicks with one just dropped into his lap like everything else in the man’s life.
They reached the door of the suite. Honor didn’t bother to knock; she simply pressed the keycard against the door and entered, gesturing for Violet and Dakota to follow.
“Don’t be loud,” Violet said to Dakota. “The baby might be sleeping.”
Dakota mimicked her finger to her lips and made a shushing sound.
When they entered the suite, Violet had to physically restrain herself from gasping out loud. The suite was magnificent. The same white marble floors as the lobby shone under the light of a chandelier made of sparkling glass. Posh, richly hued furniture in greens and purples, fluffy rugs, and glass tabletops with silver trim were arranged in geometric perfection. Paintings of various bright and vibrant flowers decorated the creamy sage walls. The bank of windows looked out on the entire town of Cliffside Bay, surrounding country roads, forests, and meadows. If it weren’t foggy today, you would be able to see the endless waters of the Pacific.
She quickly forgot all of that at the sight of Kyle Hicks with a baby in his arms. A spot of sunshine had broken through the gray sky and washed the room and the man in a warm glow. She drew closer, mesmerized. He cradled the baby against his chest and softly sang “You Are My Sunshine.” Kyle Hicks knew a lullaby. Go figure.
He looked up from the baby and smiled at her. Triumph glittered in his deep blue eyes. “I got her to sleep,” he whispered before his gaze turned back to Mollie. Those thick, black lashes didn’t belong on a man. Whatever. That was of no consequence. Pretty is as pretty does.
She glanced around the room. A dilapidated stroller was parked over by the couch. “It’s like 1972 is looking for its stroller.”
Honor laughed from across the room where she had Dakota on her lap.
“No, seriously,” Violet said. “You must never use that again. It’s not safe.”
An empty bottle and a used diaper sat on the coffee table. Apparently neither Honor nor Kyle knew how to roll a dirty diaper because it was wide open with the baby’s last deposit displayed for all the world to see. Violet rushed to the table and arranged the diaper into a tight ball.
They needed a diaper pail or things were going to get stinky very fast.
“What do we do first?” Honor asked.
“Kyle, put the baby on the ottoman here.” Violet pointed to the large ottoman adjacent to the armchair near a gas fireplace. “She’ll be nice and warm there.” She instructed Dakota to switch on the fire. He leapt from Honor’s lap and gleefully pushed the switch.
“What if she rolls off?” Kyle asked.
“She can’t roll yet,” Violet said. “We’ve got weeks and weeks before she can do anything close to rolling.”
Violet grabbed the pink blanket from the couch. “Before you put her down, we need to swaddle her.”
“Swaddle?” he asked.
“I’ll show you how,” she said.
Surprisingly, Kyle followed her directions and put the baby in the center of the blanket.
“Does she seem healthy?” Kyle pointed to her head. “What’s that dent there?”
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Violet said. “All babies have that when they’re first born.” She gently caressed the soft dent in Mollie’s head, remembering when Dakota had been that age. “I didn’t know that when Dakota was born. I freaked out.” The plates of the head had to fully grow together. Her nurse at the hospital had kindly explained it to her. She now explained this to Kyle.
“What about her eyes? Do you think she can see out of them?” Kyle asked.
“You mean because they look kind of glassy?” she asked.
Kyle nodded.
“Totally normal. All white babies are born with blue eyes that look like this. They turn their real color later.”
Kyle nodded again. His eyes looked like a startled animal’s. Arrogant Kyle Hicks, all shook up.
She deposited the blanket on the ottoman and instructed him to put the baby in the middle. “Now you wrap her up like a burrito, as tight as you can get it.”
“Won’t it hurt her?” Kyle asked.
“No. They like it. Mimics the womb,” Violet said, amazed how fast all this came back to her. She hadn’t had the luxury of anyone advising her. Not that she needed anyone. Books had everything a new parent needed to know. If you had a chance to read them before the baby appeared on your doorstep.
“We need a plan.” Honor glanced at her wristwatch. “I’ve got to pick up Jubie in thirty minutes.”
“You need supplies,” Violet said. She explained the need for a crib, pacifier, car seat, stroller, and changing table.
“Can you rent that stuff?” Kyle asked.
Violet shook her head. “No, but you can buy them online and have them rush delivered.”
“Right.” Kyle let out a deep breath. “I’m not thinking clearly.”
Honor patted his arm and drew him over to sit on the couch. “You look a little pasty. I think we need to get some food in you.”
“We can call for room service,” Kyle said. “Whatever you guys want.”
From over by the window where Dakota had decided a knickknack of a seashell was better as a truck, replete with engine noises, he looked up, suddenly interested. “Can I have a cheeseburger?”
“Absolutely. If it’s okay with your mom. Do you let him eat meat?” Kyle asked.
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I?” Violet asked. What was it with this guy? Did he have to make a case about everything?
“Can I have a milkshake?” Dakota asked.
“If your mom says yes, then I say yes,” Kyle said. “Your mom’s saving me right now.”
“You can have one for dessert. Burger first,” Violet said.
“Yes, Mama.”
“After we order dinner, let’s get on the internet and order what we need,” Violet said.
“How much is this going to cost me?” Kyle asked.
“Why are you worried about money?” Violet asked.
“I’m not worried. Old habits die hard, that’s all,” Kyle said.
Was he referring to an impoverished childhood? Despite herself, curiosity poked through her annoyance. No one knew much about his past, other than he’d come to USC as an emancipated adult.
“It’s a little late to worry about money now,” she said in a tone sharper than she meant. “You made a baby and now you have to pay to take care of her.”
“I get it. Back off with the judgey tone,” he said.
“I’m not judging you.”
“Yes, you are, but it’s fine,” Kyle said. “I don’t care what you or anyone else think about me. I haven’t for a long time. Regarding furniture, I want the best. Top of the line.”
“Of course, you do,” Violet said.
“Didn’t you just lecture me that I need to take care of my daughter?” Kyle’s eyes darkened when he was annoyed. She’d noticed that before. They darkened every time she was anywhere within his vision.
After Honor left, they ordered dinner and went to work. In less than forty-five minutes, they’d ordered furniture and the other supplies. Shopping was speedy when you simply ordered the most expensive item in every category. Violet kept her opinions to herself. Who cared if this guy wanted to waste his money on designer names? It wasn’t her concern.
Mollie Blue woke up and began to cry the moment they all sat down to eat.
“It’s a baby thing,” Violet said. “They have some kind of radar to ensure you never eat an entire meal or get an entire night’s sleep.”
Kyle’s
shoulders slumped. “I’m starving.”
Despite her intentions to the contrary, she softened. “You eat. I’ll feed her this time.”
“She probably needs to be changed first,” Kyle said.
She looked over at him, surprised. “You catch on quick.”
“That’s what it was last time anyway,” Kyle said.
While the boys ate, Violet changed Mollie’s diaper and fixed a bottle from the powdered formula, careful to read the directions. She’d breastfed Dakota exclusively.
“Is it supposed to be warm or cold?” Kyle asked.
“Room temperature is fine, but they prefer if it’s the temperature of breast milk.”
“What the heck temperature is that?”
“Body temperature. See here?” Violet sprayed a small amount of formula on her forearm. “If you can’t feel either hot or cold then it’s the exact temperature of a person’s body. Whatever you do, don’t heat a bottle in the microwave. Hot spots.”
“Hot spots? What is that?”
“Hot spots in the water that could burn her. Microwaves don’t heat liquids evenly.”
“Jesus. I had no idea.”
“It’s all right. You know now.”
Violet sat in the armchair and placed the bottle in Mollie’s mouth. The baby sucked with no fussing, which meant she probably had not been breastfed. How sad to think the child would never know her true mother. The poor woman. To leave before they could know each other was incomprehensible and so unfair. She wondered, too often, how God let a tragedy like this happen. What had an innocent little baby ever done to deserve this fate? Her father would say that it was not our place to ask, but Violet had a few questions she planned on asking God when she arrived in heaven. Mollie would be on the top of the list of questions, right after how did a man like Cole Lund thrive despite his hypocrisy?
Cole Lund. America’s Pastor. Dakota’s father. Someone else’s husband. She’d been naive to believe he loved her.
She’d gone to work for him after leaving college. His strategic seduction had taken time. It started with lunches, then dinners out, all under the pretense of a working meal. As one of the administrators to the pastor staff, her job was to take notes while he brainstormed sermon ideas or plans for church growth. After a few months, he started dropping by her apartment in the evenings to ask her opinion on a sermon or a staff decision. Flattered and beguiled, she’d let him kiss her one night after he confessed to his feelings. I can think of nothing but you.
America’s Pastor, as it turned out, could think of other things besides Violet Ellis—his status in the church, his family, his Mercedes where he’d first placed his hand on her knee. When she told him she was pregnant, he dropped her so fast she could almost hear the thump of her head hitting the proverbial curb. That night, a man showed up on her doorstep with a check and a threat. Tell anyone and you won’t live long enough to give birth. Don’t come back to work. Don’t contact him ever again.
A sliver of loneliness crept of her spine. She was alone with her questions, alone with her mistakes.
Violet stroked the peach fuzz on Mollie’s head. “What a pretty one you are,” she said under her breath.
Mollie was a concentrated eater with an occasional appreciative grunt. Although, they should have Jackson or Kara give her an exam right away. She said as much to Kyle.
“Doctors? But she isn’t sick, is she?”
She almost laughed at his worried expression. Welcome to parenthood.
“No, it’s just standard for newborns to have frequent visits for checkups. They weigh and measure them and make sure they’re thriving. They call them ‘well-baby visits’.”
Kyle ran both hands through his hair as he crossed the room and sat on the coffee table across from her. “I don’t know what I’m doing. This is a disaster.”
“You’ll be fine.” She smiled, remembering her first few weeks as a mother. “I thought they were insane when the hospital sent me home with Dakota after less than twenty-four hours. I told the nurses I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no one to help me. They assured me I would be fine and to trust my instincts. I wanted to say, but I have no instincts. I’m too young for this. And my mother wasn’t speaking to me—I didn’t tell them that part, but seriously, I had no one. That said, the nurses were right. It all fell into place. Although, Dakota was an easy baby. For one thing, he was giant. He weighed nine pounds when he was born.”
“How did nine pounds come out of you?” He gestured toward her narrow hips.
“It wasn’t pretty. At all.” He’d ripped her in several places. She wasn’t sure everything was good down there, even now. It would require having sex with someone to find out, which seemed unlikely to happen anytime soon.
“Are bigger babies better?” he asked. “Because she doesn’t seem very big.”
“I’d guess she’s just over six pounds. I’ve heard the smaller they are, the longer it takes them to sleep through the night. They have to eat more frequently than a big fat baby like Dakota.”
“Sleep. How am I going to work and take care of her by myself?” His eyes had darkened to the color of the night sky just after twilight when the first of the stars appear.
“You’ll hire a nanny for during the day and a nanny for the nights. Once she starts to sleep through the night, you’ll be fine with just a day nanny.”
“There’s such a thing as a night nanny?”
“Yes, all rich people have them.”
“They do?” he asked.
“A lot of rich people have them.”
“Did you have one?” he asked.
A bitter taste at the back of her throat prevented her from a sarcastic laugh. “I couldn’t afford one. My parents had disowned me. I was solo. Fortunately, Dakota slept through the night at six weeks.”
“Six weeks? That seems like forever.” The corners of his mouth turned downward. “This cannot really be happening.”
It was almost endearing how bewildered and frightened he was. Almost, but not quite. This was Kyle Hicks. Rich and self-satisfied with little regard for anyone but his smug, attractive self. “It’ll be fine. Looking back, those weeks were just a blip on the radar. Honestly, cherish every moment. Before you know it, she’ll be three.”
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this. Truly.”
“Do you have younger siblings?” Violet asked.
He looked away, scratching behind his ear. “Yeah. A brother and a sister.”
“Do you remember helping with them at all?” She couldn’t recall ever hearing that he had siblings. Not that she exactly asked around about Kyle Hicks.
“No. They were two and four years younger than me. I don’t remember anything under the age of six.”
“I was an only child, so I had the same problem. No memories to recall—like my mom did this, so I’ll do this. I couldn’t ask her either, since she wasn’t speaking to me.”
“Were they that uptight for real?”
“My parents are very religious.” She glanced at Dakota. He was dipping a french fry into his vanilla shake without a thought to what the adults were doing or saying. She lowered her voice anyway. “They were mortified I was pregnant without a husband.”
“Kind of antiquated, isn’t it?”
“You don’t know the half of it. My dad’s a real charmer.” She rolled her eyes to hide the pain behind those words.
“I’d choose supporting my daughter over any belief system I’d read in stories written a long time ago.”
Not religious. Duly noted.
“Don’t look like that,” he said, matching her subdued volume. “I’m not a total heathen. All I’m saying is that if I had a daughter like you and a grandson like Dakota, I’d be proud, whether you had a husband or not. The fact that Dakota’s father bailed tells me everything I need to know. Good riddance. Take it from me. No dad is better than one who doesn’t want to be there.”
She stared at him, shocked. A dozen quest
ions floated across her mind. Had he given her a compliment? What was his father like? Instead, she surprised herself by sharing something of her own father.
“My dad hasn’t spoken to me in almost four years. We’ve been staying at their house without his knowledge. My mom kept it from him. Their house burned down in South America, so they have to come home. If it weren’t for Brody and Kara, I’d be majorly screwed right now.”
He ran his hands through his hair once more. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry about your shop. Lance said he offered you a few months free rent, but you turned him down.”
“Yeah.” She shrugged as Mollie took one last suck and then shook the nipple from her mouth. Violet gathered her to her shoulder and patted her back until a nice loud burp erupted. “Good girl.”
“Here, I’ll take her,” Kyle said.
Violet placed her in his arms. He kissed Mollie’s head. “She smells so good,” he said.
“They always do.”
“Why didn’t you take Lance up on it?” Kyle asked.
“Have you ever heard the term ‘bleeding cash’?”
Kyle grimaced as he cradled Mollie closer to his chest. “I’m familiar, yes.”
“It was more than just rent. The whole shop was a failure.” She looked away, embarrassed by the tremor in her voice. “I’m not cut out for business, I guess.”
“A lot of successful people had early failures. Most successful people.”
“It doesn’t matter. I have no place to live and a son without daycare.”
“What happened to daycare?”
“We had an incident today. I was late, and I got into it with Mrs. Knight. He’s no longer welcome.”
“You have a bit of a temper, don’t you?” He raised his eyebrows, teasing her. It wasn’t funny.
“I do not have a temper, but I won’t be pushed around. Not anymore.”
“Anymore?”
“Never mind that. Anyway, I need to focus on paying down my debt and finding a job.” Stop talking. He doesn’t need to know all this. Keep your guard up. This is the enemy.
He narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. “This is going to sound crazy…given our past, but we both need something the other could provide. I need a nanny. You need a place to live and a job where you can bring your son to work. What if you moved in here with us for a while? There are two bedrooms and two bathrooms. You and Dakota could have one and I’ll take the other with Mollie. You can have the day shift, and I’ll pay you twice the going rate for a full-time nanny, plus free room and board. You can get back on track financially, and I can rest easy that Mollie will be taken care of by someone I trust.”
