by Karina Halle
They took me down a small narrow hallway with yellow walls that Bird kept hitting with his stocky shoulders. I could see a room at the end of the hall that looked like a study and a greenhouse combined, filled with plants and books. I was put into a room comprised of a narrow bed, an armchair and a few native artworks on the wall.
They laid me down in the middle of the bed, and as Bird left the room, Roman reached under the bed and pulled out three leather straps.
Dex’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”
Roman ignored him and went around to the other side, pulling out three more straps. Then he leaned over me and started strapping me in, one across my chest, one across my hips and one across my legs.
“Is that really necessary?” Dex exclaimed, making a move for him.
Ada reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back.
“You know it is,” she said quietly, her eyes warning him to stay put.
Dex eyed her hand and then relented. They watched from the back of the room as Roman finished up. He fished a pocket knife out of his back pocket and flipped open the blade. He held the blade above me and I heard Ada gasp.
But he merely stuck the edge of the blade underneath the duct tape and freed me down the middle, tearing me open like sausage casing.
“I won’t rip it off,” he said to me. “I know it would hurt you, still.”
“I hope you’re talking to Perry,” Dex said.
Roman gave Dex a grave look. “I am. I can see she’s there, too. But you both must understand that I may have to hurt Perry at some point.”
“What? No!” Ada protested. “You don’t hurt her. You hurt what’s in her.”
Roman straightened up and flipped his knife back in his pocket like it was second nature. Just what kind of a shaman was he?
“Sometimes you don’t have a choice,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Is that what happened with the last boy, the one who died?” Dex asked snidely. He immediately regretted it. Roman’s eyes turned to steel.
“I barely touched the boy. He would have died anyway. I did get the demon out and that’s what counts. Do you think it’s easy to see that happen? He was only four. I had to move towns; everyone was saying I did something wrong. But I didn’t. The damage was already done when he came to me. It was too late.”
The room grew silent. Dex looked down at the floor and Ada shifted uncomfortably.
Bird came back in the room holding a heavy box and placed it in front of Roman. He gave Dex and Ada a stern look. “If Roman seems cold, it’s because he has to be. The medicine man can have no emotional attachments to the person in question. He can have no fear. Evil preys on fear. It feeds on emotions. Even love.”
Roman started lifting things out of the box. I raised my head to look and was struck by the fact that I could. Was I in control?
I tried to talk but nothing came out. My throat wouldn’t work, my mouth wouldn’t move. Just my head moved and it was probably the thing, trying to take stock of what was going on.
But Dex, he took his attention off the boxes and looked right at me. I held his gaze, wondering if he could see my real eyes or if they were just swirling black pools. His own eyes were magnetic, his brows furrowed grimly. It was like he was trying to tell me something, hoping I’d hear it. I didn’t know what it was, but it helped knowing he was there and watching me, trying to establish a connection.
Bird and Roman brought out a small native drum, something that looked like incense holders, matches, little wooden bowls and baggies of earth-colored herbs and plants. Roman looked up at Dex and Ada and said, “We have to set up for the ceremony. You will have to leave the room.”
Dex tore his eyes away from mine with effort and shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
Bird got up, one leg at a time, and placed his hand on Dex’s shoulder. “I know you care about her. But she’s not going anywhere for now. We have to cleanse the room. Then you can come back in.”
Roman said something to Bird in the native language and Bird nodded sharply. He looked back at Dex with imploring eyes. “Please? We must hurry.”
Dex and Ada sighed and left the room, both of them throwing a glance at me over their shoulders before they went out the door. Bird went over and closed it after them. It felt so final. I know he said they could come back in after, but I had no idea what was in store.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
With Ada and Dex gone, Bird lit up some sage and started waving it around in all corners of the room. It reminded me a lot of the ceremony we did in the sweat-lodge with Rudy. Rudy, the last shaman I had come in contact with. He had gone missing during that ceremony, presumably killed by the skinwalkers. I wondered if Roman knew how dangerous I seemed to be. I wondered if he was ready. Though the thought of him using physical force on me was scary, I was become desensitized to the way my body was treated, and if he had to hurt me to free me, then he could hurt me all he wanted. I’d welcome it.
Roman lit a few candles around the room, then pulled shut the thick curtains so the room was dark except for a bare lamp in the corner that created haunting shadows on the wall. Bird continued to wave the sage, then he lit another sweet-smelling herb and started all over again, this time chanting. At first to himself, but Roman would join in at odd times while he burned something in a wooden smudge pot.
After the last herb died to smoldering ashes and the room was thick with blue haze, Roman gestured to the drum. Bird eased himself cross-legged on the floor and brought the drum to his lap while Roman went to the door and stuck his head out, calling down the hallway.
Dex and Ada appeared in the doorframe, coughing and waving at the air.
“No,” Roman said, firmly grabbing Ada’s hand in mid-wave. “Don’t move it. It is to help us. Breathe it in. It will help purify you both.”
He shut the door behind them and told them to stand at the foot of the bed; then he came around the other side and stood beside me.
“Tell me how this all started,” he said.
Ada and Dex looked at each other. Ada stepped a bit forward and started rehashing everything that had happened, leaving out a few things like the miscarriage and Abby.
“And where do you come in?” Roman asked Dex.
Dex coughed and cleared his throat, looking strangely sheepish. “The little one called me. I was the only one who believed what was wrong with Perry.”
“What was Perry’s state of mind before all of this happened?”
Dex opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He clamped his lips shut and looked at Ada with a pained face. She raised her brow at him and gave Roman a sadly sardonic smile.
“Perry’s state of mind?” Ada repeated. “She was emo as shit.”
Roman shot a look at Bird, who shrugged.
Ada stuck her finger underneath Dex’s scruffy chin. “This asshole broke up with Perry in November. Broke her poor fucking heart right in two. I’m only tolerating him because he was the last chance we had.”
Dex didn’t protest but he did look away at some imaginary spot on the floor. Roman mused that over, looking bothered.
“I see,” Roman said slowly and with a heavy sigh. I wondered if our history was going to complicate things for him. I hoped not. Things were already complicated enough.
“Yeah,” Ada continued, not done yet, “basically slept with her and ditched her, used her...”
“Hey, OK, wait a minute,” Dex said, stepping away from Ada’s finger. “That’s not exactly what happened.”
If I could have controlled my own eyebrows, I would have raised them.
She glared at him, her eyes hard in the low light. “Oh yeah, perhaps you better explain what happened. Why Perry cried in her room for days wondering what the hell went wrong. You weren’t there. You didn’t have to help her day in and out, hoping that one day she’d come out of it and realize what a goddamn asshole you are. You didn’t see the way you left her. You didn’t have to help her pick up the pieces.”
The words miscarriage hung heavily in the air.
Roman sucked in his breath.
Bird froze.
And Dex...he looked like someone had backhanded him with a shovel. He swallowed hard and his eyes went immediately to me. They held a wealth of regret and sadness in them.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I thought, staring across at him. But then again, when would have been a good time? It was over and done with and none of his business, really. We had other, bigger things to worry about than sex gone bad. I didn’t have time to worry about his feelings in this, though from the stunned, almost blue look on his blood-crusted face, I could see he was taking it hard. Harder than I thought he would.
“You didn’t know,” Roman said, stating the obvious.
Dex’s chin dropped and he broke eye contact with me. Ada watched him, her face growing increasingly guilty for the way she just dropped it on him. I guess she, like me, had no idea how he would have reacted.
She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, sorry. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged her hand off of him. “I need to get some air.”
“No,” Roman said. For a skinny, young guy he had quite the commanding voice. I guess you had to have that if you were commissioned to command demons out of people. “You’re not going. We have to discuss this, all of this. It will help me figure out what happened. What’s in her.”
“What’s in her?” Dex’s head snapped up. “A demon, that’s what.”
Roman shook his head. “No. You’re right, but it’s not just that. There are three entities lying there.” He pointed over at me. “One is Perry. One is demonic. The other is another entity. It is weak and is has no power anymore. But it is a spirit, a vengeful one. And if my guesses are correct, there was something haunting Perry before. Something that was wronged or ignored. It made a powerful pact, deal if you will, to gain Perry’s soul. But was lost before it could even happen.”
He looked to Ada. “And this miscarriage. Perry would have been at her lowest, most vulnerable. It’s times like that, or pregnancy, when something foreign can grow and latch on with the baby. Even if the baby was eventually lost. Though you can bet it was because of this spirit.”
At the mention of baby, Dex had let out a hot puff of air and turned around so his back was to everyone, leaning on his hands against the wall.
“It was Abby,” he said quietly, almost to himself. Roman had to take a few steps closer to him to hear.
Dex continued, “She was haunting me when Perry was with me in Seattle. She’s an ex...she died. Years ago. But she comes around every now and then. You know, she died because of me. And I don’t think she’ll ever forget it.”
“She will now,” Roman said. “The demon gained access to Perry through her, played on her fears through her. To get to you. This spirit is no more. Demons don’t keep their bargains.”
Dex still didn’t turn around. He shook his head from side to side so his hair flopped back and forth. “So that’s it. It has one ex-girlfriend of mine. And it’s not satisfied. It wants the only person left on this earth that I...that I’d do anything for. Just throw her into the pot, who cares. I lost her once, I cannot lose her again.” Dex’s voice cracked and split with anger.
“Life is unfair for a lot of people and for a lot of reasons,” Bird spoke up from the floor, his fingers tracing circles on the taught drum top, his voice steady as a tree. “This isn’t about you Dex, though I know from experience your intentions are good. This is about Perry. This is about what we can do to help her. We can’t waste time placing blame on each other or being angry. That’s what it wants. We need to help her. And we need to hurry. You can deal with everything else afterward.”
There was little sound or movement from Dex for a few beats. Then he raised his head up and turned around. He walked through the smoke, which still hung in cloying clouds, and stopped beside Ada. His eyes were wet and wide but held a fierce determination that brought out a rise of hope from somewhere inside me. He offered his hand to her.
“I’m extremely, unrelentingly sorry for what I did to your sister. To Perry. And, by default, to you. Little fifteen.”
Ada eyed his hand like he had cooties. The reluctance didn’t last long. She stuck out her hand and they shook firmly. She even managed a smile.
“Good,” Roman said, looking from one to the other. “We need a united front against this. Even with Bird acting as my helper, I will need you both to be strong and to have no fear. You have to believe that we can beat it. We are superior to this beast and we will get out. But you must have conviction in your beliefs. To doubt is to endanger all of our lives, and especially Perry’s.”
He nodded at Bird, who began a steady, rhythmic beating on the drums, using only his hands, while Roman brought up a small wooden bowl from the floor. He came close to me, looking deep into me with the most ruthless, determined angle. He wasn’t looking for me. He was looking for it, the thing, the beast.
“And so we begin the sacred ceremony.” He was talking to me, talking to everyone. “An exorcism is a battle. I will lead it until the end”
He raised up the bowl and started yelling in his native tongue. Simple, two-word sentences that bounced around the room like a stone in a cave.
The thing inside me did not like it.
I started writhing back and forth underneath the straps, panting hard as if I were simultaneously trying to throw up and catch my breath. It grew hot, then more hot, and steam began to rise off of my body in tiny whispers.
Roman kept repeating the words and the heat in my body grew to an unbearable level. Whatever the beast was feeling, I was feeling too. It was exquisite agony; I felt like I was being burned alive.
Roman kept going, relentless in his quest to purge me. He dipped his thumbs into the wooden bowl until they were covered black, then came forward for my face.
I swung my head back and forth, trying to get out of his way but he managed to get one swipe down my cheek. It felt like an acid burn. I turned to him, mouth open, and bit his hand. Hard. I felt the crunch of bones and the taste of blood fill my mouth and spill down my chin.
Someone in the room let out a yelp but it wasn’t Roman. He pushed his other thumb, also anointed with the black ash, straight into my forehead, knocking my head back with enough force to knock a normal person out. Then he calmly removed his injured hand from my mouth.
I grinned what was sure to be a bloody grin.
And the most vile, primordial voice, like the ones I’d heard commanding me in my head, roared out of me.
“Think she’ll be so lucky this time?” After what you did to little Jim?” The depravity dripped out of me like the blood onto my chest.
Roman paid me no attention, he kept repeating his phrase, his voice become stronger and I felt a wave of shock, pain and heat roll through me. I started screaming and banging the back of my head against the mattress.
The drum beat of Bird became louder, faster and I felt the synergy of the room intensify. The temperature climbed and climbed until I was soaking wet and the bed was too. The straps were becoming slippery and I was forced to use them to my advantage. I wriggled and moaned and tried to escape.
“Dex, Ada!” Roman yelled. “Get a hold of her legs.”
My eyes were rolling back in my head so I couldn’t see them but I felt them. Briefly.
They both let out a whimper and withdrew their hands immediately.
“She’s burning hot!” Dex cried out. “You’re killing her!”
“Do it!” Roman yelled, and I felt their hands once more, Dex’s long fingers and Ada’s slight ones. They were both hesitant but their grips intensified as my thrashing continued.
“United front, Dex,” Roman said through gritted teeth as he came at my arms with more smudge matter. “You can’t let your feelings get in the way. We must do this. You too, Ada.”
I heard someone sniff like they were crying, but I didn’t know who it was. It didn’t matter. The more Roman pressed his marks into me, the more I felt like dying. The pain was excruciating; it was like being branded with a hot poker.
“You killed him. The mother killed herself shortly after. You ruined a town,” the beast said through me in scathing, panting secretions. “You’ll ruin her. I will ruin her. You are powerless, foolish and weak.”
I burst into horrible laughter and started thrashing again, more strange, foreign and unbelievable sounds emanating from me. It sounded like whole room was one entity and I was coming out of the walls, throttling the room with my abhorrent threats.
“You can do what you want to her,” Roman said forcefully, “but I am stronger and I will win this battle. I will get you out and send you back to where you came from.”
There was no time to reflect anymore, no effort for thoughts. They were meaningless. I was at the mercy of my captor and at the strength of my exorcist.
The drums got louder. The room began to dim as the candles all went out and the lamp in the corner faltered. Suddenly the area around the bed erupted in flames that rose from the floor in a thick line. Dex and Ada screamed and let go of me, stumbling back and out of the fire. Roman had to inch back as well, and Bird stopped drumming.
“Keep going!” Roman screamed at Bird over the roar of the flames.
Bird snapped to it and continued, his hands slapping steadily on the drum.
The flames grew higher until they provided a barricade between me and everyone else. Dex had his arm around Ada and was holding her tight to him, both of their faces lit up by the flames as they watched me in absolute horror.
I sat up in one swift, violent motion, breaking the straps around my arms. I grinned at Roman and said, in the voice of a little boy, “Why did you have to be so rough? You hurt me. You broke my bones.”
