by Unknown
At school, Scott had put up new campaign posters for Jake, but Ella had convinced Trent to help us stick a note on every locker in the school telling them to vote for me.
After calculus, I saw Jake. He waved at me, but I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I could not let him inside my head right now. I wasn't prepared to talk to him yet.
I couldn't keep away from him in English, though. He sat down in front of me. "Hey, are you avoiding me?"
"What? No. Of course not. Why would you think that?" Duh, I was obviously avoiding him. I just couldn't have this conversation with him here. I couldn't keep it together for the speech if I had some emotional blowout with him. I gave him the manga assignment, and he turned it into Ms. Aprils at her desk. She flipped through it and smiled at him. Maybe he was right. Aprils did love him and we probably would get an A.
With the project finally out of the way, I could focus all my attention on the speech. The assembly was scheduled for right after lunch. And lunchtime came all too quickly. My throat started to feel sore. Ella made me drink more orange juice, and I took some more medication.
The bell rang, and my heart beat ridiculously fast. I wasn't one of those people who would rather be in the casket at a funeral than the guy giving the eulogy, but public speaking wasn't exactly high on my fun things to do list.
Ella walked on one side of me, Trent on the other, as we headed down the hallway. We went into the auditorium and nearly knocked over the school's mascot, Edgar the Eagle. He made some obscene gestures with his arms/wings despite Ella apologizing. Trent grabbed a couple of seats in the front row, and Ella walked all the way to the front with me. Ms. Rathbone showed me where to sit.
"You are going to do so great," Ella said.
"What if I'm terrible?"
"Then I'm sending Trent up here and he's going to Napoleon Dynamite his way into winning this election for you." That did get a smile out of me. She left the stage to sit with Trent.
I watched them for a little while, but they were watching me and whispering, and it felt weird. The only thing left for me to look at was all the seats in the auditorium filling up with people. Everyone seemed to be talking at once, and the sound was deafening.
Jake finally arrived, and sat down in the empty seat next to me. He said hi, I said hi back. Before he could say anything else, Scott sat down on the other side of Jake, and handed Jake some big index cards. I ignored them both as I read over my speech again. I hoped it was good enough. My stomach twisted and turned in anticipation.
Ms. Rathbone stepped to the microphone and ordered the audience to quiet down. They settled down pretty quickly and she rambled off a list of announcements that I completely tuned out. All I could think about was not humiliating myself, and how I was absolutely not allowed to sneak a look at Jake.
The headmistress outlined who would be speaking. Several student council positions only had one person running. They were Jake's friends. Football players, cheerleaders. People no one would dare run against. They mostly got up to the microphone, introduced themselves and the office they were running for, and sat back down. I was going to have to speak sooner than I had anticipated.
The people running for treasurer and secretary had to give speeches since those offices were contested. I looked at them and pretended to listen, but I couldn't. I had to stay focused on my speech. I started to worry that it wasn't sophisticated enough or clever enough.
Scott got up to say that he was running for vice-president and got a huge round of applause. It sickened me—how could people be taken in by that slimeball? It was amazing what being somewhat attractive and athletic would get you.
Then it was my turn. I had thought Jake might go first, thinking it might be an alphabetical thing, but Ms. Rathbone called my name and I had to go. I walked up to the podium, and laid my papers down.
It was disconcerting to have every person in the room staring at me. I had never done anything like this before. I tried to speak, but my throat froze shut.
I widened my eyes and looked over at Ella and Trent. Trent smiled at me. Ella gave me the thumbs up, and mouthed, "You can do this!"
I could do this. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "My name is Mattie Lowe and I'm running for senior class president."
I didn't get any applause like the popular kids had. So I kept going. "A lot of things have changed recently at Malibu Prep. Things that were done behind our backs and without our input. I think since those changes affect us directly, we should have had some say in what goes on at this school. I think these uniforms are hideous. I think that seniors should have priority parking. I think we should be able to use our phones and text during school hours. Maybe not in class, but in between classes or during lunch. And speaking of lunch, I think it is crazy that we're so close to so many amazing restaurants, and we're not allowed to go off campus at lunchtime. It's also ridiculous that we can't bring our lunch from home and that all the vending machines were taken away. These rules have taken away our choices. What to wear, what we can eat. Who we can talk to. I think that's wrong. All the adults in our lives, our teachers, our parents, they're always telling us to be more responsible. They want us to hurry and grow up. Well, part of maturing is making your own decisions. How are we supposed to prove that we're responsible or grown up if we're never given the chance to make any decisions of our own? So if I'm elected president, I plan on changing all of that. I want us to get our choices back. A vote for Mattie Lowe is a vote for your voice to be heard. Thank you."
I had done it. Everyone clapped for me. I returned to my chair and saw that Ella was standing up and applauding. She pulled Trent up and they gave me my own personal standing ovation. I smiled at them. As I sat down, I noticed that my legs felt shaky and my hands trembled.
Jake leaned over to whisper, "Good job," before Ms. Rathbone called him up. I was curious about what he would say, but it was just the typical things jocks always said. I thought Jake was different. That his speech would be different. Nope. He wanted more dances, more parties, and more money for sports.
"And in conclusion, I just want to remind you to think of Edgar, our school mascot, and vote for me. Because eagles soar high, not…"
Lowe. He was going to say that eagles soar high, not Lowe. I knew it, he knew it, every person in the room knew it. I could feel my face turning a scarlet red and berated myself for my own stupidity. Mercedes had been right. Look at what he was doing. About to humiliate me in front of the entire school.
I've never felt such an oppressive silence. Everyone seemed stunned, until somebody yelled, "Burn!" That got a couple of laughs and some low moans. I could feel a thousand sets of eyes staring at me. It's just like that dream where you're at school naked, only it was really happening.
How could Jake do this?
Jake stood at the podium, looking as mortified as I felt. He could easily do it. Finish the sentence. Everyone would be impressed with his wit and cleverness.
I wanted to leave, but my feet felt glued to the floor. I waited for him to finish me off.
But he didn't do it. Jake crumpled up his index card and sat back in the seat next to me. Everyone still seemed shocked. Not a single person clapped for him. Ms. Rathbone practically sprinted to the podium to dismiss the assembly and to remind them to head out now and vote.
"Mattie, I didn't…"
I had no desire to listen to him. My feet finally started working and I walked backstage, away from prying eyes.
I hadn't gotten far when Jake reached out to take me by the arm, turning me to face him. "Leave me alone," I hissed at him.
"You need to let me explain. I did not write this speech. Scott did. I know that's no excuse. I should have gone through it before I read it out loud."
I yanked my arm away from his grasp. I couldn't think straight when he touched me. I was so angry, but I had to consider the facts. I thought of the speech and how little it had sounded like Jake to me. I had seen Scott hand him those cards. "Why should I be
lieve anything you say?"
"I have never lied to you. I may have made a couple of bad choices recently, but I've never lied to you."
Everything inside me wanted to believe him. The words, "I believe you," came to the tip of my tongue. I clenched my teeth together to keep them from escaping.
"Why didn't you just write it yourself?"
He must have sensed that I was softening. "Because last night I had to choose between writing the speech and seeing you. I chose you."
How could I not melt? I knew how busy he was. After he said that, I probably would have accepted any explanation to excuse his behavior. Somebody had drugged him. He had an evil twin. He had a time machine and would go back and undo it. Anything.
I wished I felt nothing for him. Instead I was angry and hurt, but underneath it all? I definitely still loved him. I couldn't believe that I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
If he was playing me, he was amazingly good at it.
I wanted to test him. "Ella's dating Trent. They're serious."
Jake looked really confused. "Um, okay. Good for Ella?"
"You're not upset? You're not jealous?"
"Why would I be? I told you that things with me and Ella were over." He sounded so sincere and so bewildered.
Maybe Mercedes didn't have the simplest explanation. Maybe the simplest explanation was the one that my heart believed. That Jake liked me. That Scott had set me up to be embarrassed and Jake really didn't know anything about it.
Jake took a step toward me, and I took a step back. That made him stop. He looked and sounded hurt. "I'm so sorry that happened. I told Scott I was thinking about dropping out because I didn't have time for it, and he said he would take care of it and help me because he wanted us all to do student council together."
What did I say to that? "Okay." His problems with his idiot friends were not really my problem.
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Look, if I win, I'm going to decline."
"I don't need your pity."
"It's not my pity. What happened today was wrong. Listening to you up there, you really believe in something. You want this school to be a better place. I was just doing this to make my friends and my dad happy. You should be president. And I won't have to decline because now I probably won't even win."
Jake and Ella. King and Queen of the Land of Delusion. In what universe would Jake Kingston not win the election? "That's nice and everything, but you sort of just humiliated me in front of the whole school, so I'm going to go now."
But before I could leave, the curtains got thrown aside, and a fire-breathing Ms. Rathbone stood there. "Mr. Kingston, in my office now."
"Can I just…"
"Now!" She stormed off and Jake looked at me apologetically.
"I have to go. I know I don't deserve to ask you this, but will you come to the masquerade ball tonight? I think we need to talk more about this."
No, my head screamed. Tell him no! What is wrong with you?
What was wrong with me is that I was in love with him and wanted to believe him. "Fine. I'll think about it."
He gave me a grin and started to say something else, but Ms. Rathbone shrieked at him from the back of the auditorium and he ran out onto the stage and down the steps.
I didn't need to think about it for long. The answer would be no.
* * *
Ella called Bill and explained the whole situation to him, and he actually left his studio to come and pull me out of school early. I stopped by the cafeteria to vote for myself (and took great satisfaction in crossing out Scott and Mercedes's names and writing in Trent and Ella's names instead) before I went home.
Once we got there, Dad asked me if I was all right. I told him I would live, and that apparently was good enough for him to head straight back to his painting.
Ella rushed me into her room and closed the door. "Just so you know, that speech totally backfired. People didn't think it was cool," she informed me. She said the general consensus seemed to be that he was a jerk and I handled it well. He had the higher ground and he basically kicked me in the face. "People felt bad for you."
"So I'm getting the pity vote?"
"A vote's a vote," she declared.
"Jake says that one line wasn't his fault."
"Oh, obviously," Ella said as she went into her closet. "Scott was totally bragging about having written it to anyone who would listen."
Jake had been telling me the truth.
It was like the sun coming out after a thunderstorm. Suddenly everything seemed brighter and warmer. I felt all glowy and happy inside.
"Ella? I think I need your help with something."
She stuck her head out through the closet door. "What's that?"
"I need you to take me shopping. I'm going to the masquerade ball tonight."
Chapter 15
I didn't know human beings were capable of making the sound that Ella made. I covered my ears.
"I am so excited! Let's go!" she squealed as she grabbed her purse.
"Go where?"
"To the mall! We have so many things to do to get ready for tonight!"
I don't know what Ella had in mind, but I wasn't interested. "This isn't an excuse to shop. You know I hate shopping."
She looked like I had just insulted her favorite deity. "This isn't an excuse. Trust me when I say you don't have anything you could wear tonight. And it isn't possible for you to hate shopping. You just haven't been with me. And we can use our credit cards!" She grabbed her purse and then grabbed me.
"Dad! We're taking the car!" she called out as she dragged me outside.
He said something back, but we couldn't hear him. As I got in the passenger seat I realized that it was the first time I'd ever heard her call my dad that. She had always called him Bill. I guess things really had changed between them. Especially since she now seemed so eager to use our Dad-issued credit cards.
"Okay, so we have to get a dress obviously." She started ticking things off on her fingers. "And shoes. And accessories. And depending on the dress, possibly a new bra and underwear. Jewelry, maybe."
I already felt overwhelmed. Walking into the mall didn't help. I avoided this place like I avoided Mercedes and Scott. Ella took in a big breath and looked calmer. It was like she had come home to the mother ship.
"Let's go get a dress first." Everything swirled past in a haze of color and sound. She walked into a shop and started expertly pulling dresses in every color and piled them on top of my open arms. After she had pulled nearly every dress off the rack, she told me it was time to try them on.
The saleswoman had to help me get the mountain of clothes into the dressing room. Resigned to my fate, I tried on the black one first.
"Nope. No black tonight. No khaki or red or blue like our uniforms. Let's try something pretty and bright. With your skin tone, you would look amazing in jewel shades. Try a purple or a green or dark blue."
Per her dictatorial instructions, I put on a purple one next. I pushed the curtain aside and Ella clapped her hands together. "You look amazing! Try on some more!"
I didn't know it was possible to hate clothes this much. The grumpier I got, the more excited Ella got. She loved every dress and every dress looked "so awesome" on me.
Finally I tried on the last one. It was an emerald green color with skinny straps and a low back. The fabric was silky and soft, and it made a whispering sound when I put it on. The dress came in tight at the waist, and the skirt flounced out around me. It was so girly looking. I hurried up to get it on so Ella could tell me which one I should buy and I could be done.
But when I walked out, Ella fell silent. She got up and walked around me in a circle. "Oh Tilly, that is the one." I had stopped looking at my reflection about eleven dresses ago. Ella stepped aside and I could see myself in the three-way mirror. And I looked…wow. I didn't look fat. Or Goth. It even went with my fuchsia hair. It tucked me in at all the right places and the twirly skirt hid everyt
hing else.
She was right. This was the one. I actually felt sort of pretty in it. And I had never felt that way before.
So, I burst into tears.
Ella put her arms around me, and sat me down on the bench in the dressing room. She turned my head so that my tears wouldn't fall on my dress. "What's wrong?"
I ignored my policy on not discussing Jake with Ella, but in between sobs I told her everything Mercedes had told me.
"That evil, little….oh, I don't even know anything bad enough to call her! She's so obviously lying just to upset you. You can't believe anything she said. Jake asked you out on a date. He asked you to meet him at the ball tonight! And where will Mercedes Bentley be? At home. Feeling jealous of you and sorry for herself."
"But what if she was right? What if he is using me to get to you?" I just couldn't let it go.
Ella sat quietly for a minute before saying, "I know exactly how to prove that she was wrong. I can prove to you that Jake wants you and not anybody else."
"How in Buddha's name are you going to do that?"
She flashed her credit card. "I am going to do a total makeover on you." I started to protest but she held a hand up. "I know how you feel about it, but listen. I am going to make you unrecognizable. Best of all, it's a masquerade ball. You'll be this gorgeous mystery girl, but he will blow you off because he will still want Mattie."
Despite what I always told Ella, secretly I wanted a makeover. What '80s movie heroine would be complete without a fantastic makeover? Andie making a prom dress out of her mom's old dress in Pretty in Pink. Clair making over Allison in The Breakfast Club.
Truth be told, I was a little afraid I'd look the same. That there would be no difference between "before" and "after." It was easier on my ego to just say no.
But if my life could be like the movies, the makeover would let the hot guy realize how awesome I am inside and out, and he would fall for me (although he had already secretly fallen for me and just couldn't admit it yet).
"Okay, fine, you win" I finally mumbled, while Ella squealed. She ripped the tag off of my dress. "I promise you, you will not regret this!" Holy Buddha, now she was Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother all rolled into one.
