“Okay, now I feel guilty. Let’s get back to work. Our friends are doing all the hard labor.” With one last kiss, I start taking my plates down from the cabinets and wrapping them in paper.
Before I know it, we’ve finished packing and carrying all my boxes down to the moving truck. Well, I watched Nick, Silas, and Roman carry the boxes down, but telling them where to put them in the back of the truck was a full-time job in itself.
Roman offers to drive the truck to our new home so we don’t have to make an extra trip back into DC to visit Miranda at the shelter. We found a great deal on a three-bedroom home in a nice neighborhood. It’s close enough to drive back into the city for work, but far enough away that we don’t miss the craziness of the congested traffic at other times. There’s a mother-in-law apartment over the detached garage that would be perfect as an office.
When I was first able to sit up after surgery, Karen brought my laptop to the hospital so I could continue working on my book. Since I’ve been off on medical leave, I’ve finished writing my story and found a talented editor to help make me sound halfway decent. I’m excited to see what the future holds when I release this self-help book. If just one woman saves herself and walks away from an abusive relationship after reading my story, it’ll have been worth the time and effort.
After two more weeks, I’ll finally be headed back to my job as a nurse, too. I’ve traded the night shift for days, though. Karen also moved to the day shift since it’s easier on her both while she’s pregnant and after the baby is born. I’m thrilled we’ll still work together, and the added bonus is I’ll be home with Nick every night.
“So, Undercover Lover, are you glad the trial bullshit is over?” Silas asks from the back seat.
“Absolutely. Having my entire life splashed across every news outlet on TV and the internet got old really fast. Thank God for Axle, huh? He showed up with all that video footage of Bobby Blalock ordering hits and shit, and all of a sudden, the lawyers were clamoring for deals. Hey, that reminds me, how’d you get my picture scrubbed from everywhere so fast?” Nick glances at Silas in the rearview mirror.
“Ah, you know, the delete key works wonders. You should try it sometime.” Silas hedges, refusing to give us a straight answer.
“I will, as soon as you get me in at The Farm.”
“You’ll hear from them anytime now. Actually, you and Roman both will. I’ve proposed a three-man team of CIA officers for special operations, working in conjunction with the NSA. Good news is we’ll be stateside most of the time. An occasional trip here or there, but no long stints or moving to foreign field offices in our future. They’re reviewing your files and background information now, but they’ll contact you soon.”
“Sounds like a great opportunity. Let’s get started.”
Nick’s enthusiasm is contagious—and magnificent to hear. He’s changed so much from the man I first met. He’s still the best man I know, but now he’s also the happiest. The changes we’ve made in our lives and in each other’s is nothing short of fate. He’s my soul mate, regardless of what obstacles have been thrown in front of us.
We walk into the center hand in hand, with Silas covering our backs for good measure. Terrifying memories try to halt my forward motion, but Nick’s hand on my lower back reminds me of how far we’ve come in a short time. There’s no going backward now, and no letting old ghosts ruin the good thing we’ve found.
Miranda meets us just inside the door, throws her arms around my neck, and bounces up and down. She’s virtually giddy with excitement and eagerness, though I don’t have a clue why yet.
“Miranda, this is Silas Steele. Silas, this is my friend, Miranda Petrovio.”
“Hello, Silas.” Miranda extends her hand to Silas. When I look up at him, he has an odd expression on his face as he studies Miranda.
“Hi, Miranda. Have we met before? You look very familiar.”
“Um, no, I don’t think so. But I hear that a lot. I always say I have a very common face. Maybe you just remember me from that awful day. I was here in the middle of everything.” She laughs nervously and turns her head away, extending her hand to an empty table in the common room. “Let’s have a seat.”
“I’ll wait over here by the door, just to be on the safe side. Yell if you need me. Nice to meet you, Miranda.” Silas walks backward, keeping his eyes trained on us.
Odd.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Silas.” Miranda takes the seat with her back to Silas, which I notice immediately.
As paranoid as she usually is, she would never sit with her back to the door anytime I volunteered here. In fact, she was adamant about having her back to the wall so she could keep her eyes on the door at all times. My initial thought is she’s uncomfortable with Silas’s probing stare, and I quickly dismiss my uncertainty as paranoia from coming back here. Besides, Silas can be rather unnerving at times to anyone who doesn’t know him. I chalk it up to the CIA officer ingrained in him.
Miranda leans forward, a wide smile covering her face, and grasps my hands in hers. “Thank you so much for coming. Hear me out before you say anything, please, because I know how crazy this is going to sound. But you’ve been such a good friend to me when I had no one, and if there’s something I can do to help you, then I want to do it. You’ve helped me, talked to me, and trusted me to help you. I’ve literally had no one else for so long, but you’ve made me feel like part of your life. There’s a way I can help you both with something you want more than anything. I want to offer to do this, because I know you’d never ask it of me.”
“What are you talking about? Tell me!” I’m getting excited just listening to her enthusiasm.
“When you were in the hospital, I saw how deeply depressed you were over not being able to have a baby. But I realized it’s more than that—it’s who you are. You love, you take care of others, you give your whole heart, and it’s a beautiful thing. I want to help give that opportunity back to you, Savannah. I’d love to carry your baby for you so you two lovebirds can be parents. You don’t deserve what that monster did to you. You shouldn’t have to pay for his sins for the rest of your life.”
She stops talking, but I can’t find my voice or even a coherent thought to attempt to muddle through. I stare at her in disbelief, positive I’ve misunderstood her intentions. Nick seems to be under the same mute spell because he’s sitting beside me, motionless and slack-jawed.
“Let me try to explain further. I’d be a gestational carrier only—not a surrogate mother. Your egg will be fertilized by Nick then implanted into me, so the baby will be one hundred percent yours and Nick’s. I would literally only be an incubator for your embryo until the delivery, but this way, you can still have your own baby. Do you understand what I’m suggesting?”
I’m shocked beyond words. How do I respond to an offer like this? How can I say yes, but then again, how can I say no to a baby that would be wholly Nick’s and mine?
“Miranda, we—”
“Yes. The answer is yes, we would love that.” Nick cuts me off before I can reject such a generous offer. My head jerks toward him, and any question I have in my mind clears when I look at his handsome face. “This is what you want, darlin’. This is why I almost lost you—because you were afraid of what I’d constantly think about not having children of our own. That’s not what I think about at all, though, babe. But I know how important this is to you, and she’s offering the opportunity of a lifetime. I think we should take it and enjoy every minute of the journey.”
“Listen to him, Savannah. He understands. This is the best way I know how to thank you for all your kindness. I want to do this for you. You’re the only friend I have left in the world.”
With pure joy bubbling up inside my chest, I fly out of my seat and around the table to hug Miranda. Once I wrap my arms around her, I can’t force myself to let her go. This amazing gift she’s offering gives me more hope than I’ve had in this area of my life in years, even if nothing goes right in the pr
ocess. I’ve never felt whole, thinking I was unable to conceive all those years, even though my logical side chided my emotional side for even entertaining that notion.
“I have one condition,” I state when I finally release her. “Nick, do you mind if she moves in to the apartment above the garage while she’s pregnant? I want to have her as close as possible during the pregnancy. Just in case she needs help or protection or ice cream.”
“That’s a great idea, darlin’. We would be right there to help you, Miranda. We’ll help take care of you and protect you, but you’d still have your own private space. More so than here. And I’d feel better knowing Savannah would have a friend there when I’m away for work. Plus, your ex would have no idea to look for you in Arlington. I think we’d all feel better with you living close by. What do you say, Miranda?”
“Oh my gosh—I can’t believe you’d want me to live there with you. If you’re sure I won’t be in the way, then yes, I’d love to. After the baby’s born, I’ll find a job and get my own place, I promise. I won’t overstay my welcome.”
“We’ll worry about that when the time comes.” Miranda and I giggle together like two adolescent school girls making plans for a sleepover party.
I’m overwhelmed with hope because of the mere possibility she’s offering us. After all these years, after the deep depression and dark hole I found myself in after my hysterectomy, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. And it feels a lot like a dream coming true.
Chapter 22
Nick
I’ve never known Silas to be so transparent before. The way he watches Miranda is uncharacteristically obvious for him and goes against everything in his training. He observes and handles people for a living, yet he’s giving away the home field advantage when it comes to his interest in Miranda and who she is.
When he asked if they’d ever met, I almost choked on the very air I’d inhaled. This is a man who doesn’t forget a face and is a master of disguise. He knows damn well if he has met her before. My guess is he’d know the date, time of day, and circumstances surrounding the meeting without a hitch. And it’s much more than seeing her face when he was my backup when we faced down Butch and his demon buddy. His tone was certain, and he was testing her honesty.
But then he backed off. And I mean he backed all the way to the door, like a sentinel standing guard. If she were a threat to us, he wouldn’t have budged, and he would’ve called her on it immediately. Still, there’s a story to be told there, and my gut tells me we’ll be hot on that case soon enough. Makes me wonder if she’s why he volunteered to join us for the meeting at the center.
That’s one reason why I jumped at the opportunity she so readily offered before Savannah could turn her down. If her offer is bona fide, I’m all for giving Savannah a baby right now. Tomorrow, if I could. If her offer is a ruse, I’m all for exposing her treachery as soon as possible. Either way, Savannah’s suggestion of having Miranda move in to the apartment over our garage was perfectly timed and expertly played, even though she doesn’t realize it.
Keep friends close and enemies closer mentality.
One thing I know for sure, Savannah is overjoyed with the idea. Miranda had better not be playing on my girl’s emotions, only to use her for some bullshit scheme. Her disappointment would be unbearable. My anger would be unmanageable. My plan is to take it one day at a time and watch Miranda like a hawk in the event I need to step in and knock heads around.
On the ride home, Savannah can’t stop talking about Miranda’s generosity and how incredible she is to give us such a wonderful gift. Her faith in humanity is beautiful and balances my constant suspicion of everyone in the world. We’re complete opposite ends of the spectrum, but the way we complement each other just works for us. In this case, her excitement seeps into me, making me hope for the best despite my wariness.
The Special Agent in me says to prepare for the worst-case scenario, though.
Savannah researches gestational surrogacy and in vitro insemination protocols on her phone and relays the information she finds. The procedures. The time frames. The number of eggs they implant at one time. The odds of having multiple babies if more than one embryo is implanted. The odds of the fertilized eggs not taking. Through all of her chatter, Silas is silent in the back seat, never weighing in one way or another.
“What’s on your mind, Silas?” I get straight to the point. I’d rather have all our cards on the table.
“A trip I have to take that just popped up. I’ll probably be out on a flight first thing in the morning, but I’ll be back before you’re even settled into your first training class at The Farm, though.”
“Where are you headed?” I raise my eyes up to the rearview mirror, meeting Silas’s stoic gaze, while knowing his reply will probably create more questions than answers for me.
“Moscow.”
Fuck me running. That is the last place I would’ve expected him to say. This just became much more complicated than I originally thought.
The sinking feeling in my gut warns me this will not end well.
“You’ll let me know if plans change?” Savannah is still busy on her phone, not paying much attention to us, but Silas understands my question perfectly.
“Absolutely. As soon as I know for sure, you’ll be the first to know.”
Roman is already at the house with the moving truck and has carried in all the boxes, saving us a lot of time. The three of us start moving the furniture into place while Savannah begins unpacking the boxes and identifying where she’ll hang the wall decorations. By the time we finish unloading the truck and getting everything in place, it’s late and we’re all more than ready to crash.
While Savannah is busy in another room, I catch Silas alone. “Just before Savannah was shot, we started walking home one evening from a rooftop bar in Adams Morgan. Two guys were tailing us, a little too obvious to be one of ours. At the time, I thought maybe it had something to do with the case and the trial, but now I’m not so sure. What do you think?”
“What did they look like?”
“Extremely average—from their features to their build. Nothing remarkable about them. Except their very angry expressions when we jumped into a passing cab and sped off in the opposite direction.”
Silas nods, his expression giving nothing away, as usual. “I don’t think they had anything to do with the case or the trial. But I’ll find out more as soon as I can. If they posed a threat to you, you wouldn’t still be here three months later. You haven’t seen them again since then?”
“No, and I haven’t seen a new tail replace them either.”
“Good. They were probably reprimanded for being spotted and losing you, so the teams have been pulled back to give you some space. I’ll find out more as soon as possible. Keep doing everything you’d normally do until I get back…then we’ll talk.”
After seeing Roman and Silas off with a promise of an elaborate dinner out somewhere with unlimited alcohol to repay them for all their help, Savannah and I climb into our shared bed in our new house. She lies on her side, and I move close behind her, sliding my arm over her waist and pulling our bodies together. A small moan escapes from her lips, fully content in my arms. I get it—this is the best feeling in the world. Well, it runs a close second or third anyway. There are other feelings I can think of that are much better…in fact, at the moment, I can’t seem to think of anything else but how damn good it feels to be buried inside her.
“Mmm, did you bring your gun to bed with you, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Both. I definitely brought my gun to bed with me. Let me show you how I use it.”
Sinking into her body, I lose myself in the warmth that envelops me. The noises she makes fill the room, rising on a crescendo until the exquisite tones of her desires prompt me to seek the next and the next. Everything about her is intoxicating. The way my name sounds falling from her lips. How she grips my shoulders and claws my back when the pressure inside builds. The wa
y she shudders and shakes under my touch. Her heavy breaths from all the attention I lavish on her from head to toe. The feel of her muscles contracting and relaxing around me before her body falls limp, exhausted from our endeavors but with an expression of complete satisfaction on her beautiful face.
We lie in the soft glow of the moonlight streaming through the blinds, our bodies still entwined and each breathing heavily. Our house is now a home and holds every ounce of love we possess. What’s funny is this was never the life I wanted. When I was a younger man, the adventure I sought was in faraway places and dangerous situations. The thrill of the chase and the excitement of living the escapades most people only read about was my idea of a perfect life. Single. No attachments to tie me down.
That version of life is as far away from what I want now as east is from west. Without Savannah, without what we have, I’d have no life at all. No reason to go on. As cliché as that sounds, it’s the fucking honest truth. Finding her, getting to know her, and falling in love with her changed me from the inside out. I don’t have to question if I’m a good man anymore. One look in her eyes is all the proof I need. She sees straight into my soul and what she finds is good enough for her. I never want to be only “good enough,” though, so I keep reaching, keep striving to deserve the adoration she so easily gives me.
“You saved me, Savannah.” My confession is barely a whisper in the darkness, but it’s out there now.
“I think you have that backward, babe. How did I save you?”
“When I moved back to DC, I was a completely lost soul. My compass was broken, and I just wandered aimlessly between my brownstone and the coffee shop. Even though I was a good actor and I was good at keeping people at arm’s length, I was nowhere near being happy. You brought all the light, love, and happiness into my life. I didn’t even know this level of bliss was real. If I’m living in a fantasy world, don’t ever burst my bubble. I like it here.”
Fine Line (Crossing Lines Book 1) Page 20
