by Willow Rose
It was like a huge revelation for me. I could do anything? Could I do what Mick did? Could I make food appear whenever I wanted to, just by rubbing my hands? My head reeled and I felt like the world whirled around me. I heard my own breath while everybody else became quiet for a long time. Could this be? I looked at the palms of my hands. They still looked the same, but they felt different. I started rubbing them against each other and closed my eyes. While everything was still spinning I felt my hands become hot, almost burning. I opened my eyes and saw smoke come out from them. Then I opened them. Between my hands I held a small bird. It was plain brown except for a reddish tail and a white breast. It opened its beak and started singing the most enchanting song I had ever heard: whistles, trills, and gurgles. The professor approached me with eyes wide open. The rest of the class got out of line and surrounded me while gasping.
”Luscinia megarhynchos, also known as Rufous or Nightingale,” the professor said with astonishment in his voice. The bird kept singing until it suddenly lifted off and flew toward the forest. I was in shock. Had I done this? My classmates and the professor stared at me.
“You, Meghan, have a very strong faith,” the professor said. “It has been years since I last saw a student do something like that. That was a beautiful display of what I had just told you. It is possible for anyone of you to do incredible things, but not everybody has the faith in themselves.”
I shrugged and smiled insecurely at the staring faces.
“How did you do that?” asked Nigel.
“I … I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t tell them that I was in fact trying to make some food appear like Mick did it, but somehow that had produced a bird. I had no idea why that was.
“You are very strong,” said the professor. “A lot stronger than you think. Normally doing a thing like that, like flying really fast, drains all of your energy, but you seem like it was hardly anything—like you used no effort at all. It is very interesting … very interesting.”
I felt like a science experiment the way he looked at me with his hand on his chin. I didn’t feel faint at all from doing this and I didn’t when we began practicing fast flying on a track either. I was still in shock and didn’t put my best into my efforts. Still I managed to fly faster than any of my classmates without even breaking a sweat. I didn’t feel any different, but still I sensed that something was happening to me.
I was getting stronger.
Chapter 14
The news of my little magic trick in the school yard spread faster than the news of me breaking off the marriage. And it made everybody forget about what I had done. Suddenly I was the talk of the school again, this time in a positive manner. People looked at me with an impressed smile or stared at me in awe as if I would suddenly able to transform them into a frog or something. What they didn’t know was that I had no idea what this meant or what I was capable of doing. Even though I enjoyed this new discovery, it scared the heck out of me as well. Would I be able to control it? Would it give me more trouble than blessing? I didn’t even know what to do with this, or if I could do it again.
The only one I could talk to about it was Mick, since he had the same gift. So I slipped him a note during lunch break and asked him to meet me in the Butterfly Garden after classes. He was already there when I came. He stood with his back turned to me as I sneaked up on him from behind. I wanted to throw my arms around him, but hesitated. We weren’t in a relationship for now and I was in no place to be leading him on. I had to do this right and be careful not to hurt him again. So instead I just placed myself right next to him.
“Thanks for coming,” I said. I turned and looked around the garden, happy to see that we were alone.
Mick hushed me and pointed at something. I stretched my neck and looked in the direction he was pointing. I couldn’t see anything. “What are we looking at?” I whispered.
“Look, over there,” he said and pulled me closer while still pointing. I inhaled his scent while I was looking.
“I don’t see anything.”
“Look closer.”
I tried again and this time I saw it. Far far in the distance I could see what looked like a long horn sticking out from the forest. There was a head too. It was moving. I held my breath. It was the unicorn! I had waited to see it. Adahy, our riding instructor, had told me once that it lived in the forest, but no one I knew had ever seen it. Now we were staring right at it.
“Is that what I think it is?” I said.
Mick hushed me again. Then he whispered. “It is rubbing its horn on one of the trees. They do that to remove insects from it.”
“Wow. That’s amazing,” I whispered.
Mick looked at me and smiled. “I know. It must have known that we were meeting here. They love romance, and seek to be near it. At least so I have heard.”
I kept staring at the unicorn’s head until it turned and went back into the forest. I felt lightheaded. A lot of magic for just one day, I thought.
“So you wanted to see me?” asked Mick as we sat down on a bench.
“Yeah. I have some unanswered questions.”
“I heard about your little trick today. Was it an eagle?”
I scoffed. People and their talking. Of course a small bird would quickly become an eagle. I corrected him. “A nightingale.”
“You made a nightingale appear between your hands?” He looked at me with a grin. “And it was alive?”
I nodded.
“Making things appear is my territory,” said Mick still grinning.
“I know. That’s why I came to you.”
“I have to admit I was a little proud when I heard about it. I took it as a sign that we were meant to be with each other.”
I smiled but didn’t comment on that. I wasn’t there to talk about us. “The thing is I don’t know how I did this and I don’t know what it means.”
Mick laughed a light laughter. “I know how that feels. The first time I made something appear out of my hands it was a blueberry. But it was small and inedible.”
“I was actually trying to make some food appear, like you do, but instead I made a bird. Why do you think that is?”
Mick shrugged. “You are untrained. You haven’t figured out how to do it right yet—how to make things appear that are what you actually intended.”
“Have you always been able to do that?”
“No, in the beginning I made all kinds of things appear, even things I didn’t mean to.”
“Like what?”
“Once when I was still in school I wanted to make myself a new hat. I was tired of the old one, so I wanted something new to put on my head, but instead of a hat I made a lobster, cooked with butter and everything.” Mick laughed again.
“So it has always been food?”
“I guess so. Every time I tried to do something else, only food would appear, so I figured that was my gift. Salathiel heard about my talent and suggested that I stay at the school and became the chef here. It was nice to find a way of using it to make people happy.”
“But can you make other stuff than food?”
“Nope. It is only food for me. But that is good enough.”
“It is a great gift. I love your talent. I wish I knew how I’m supposed to use mine.”
“You will figure it out.”
I was quiet for a long while. Mick stared at me. Then he moved some hair from my face and lifted my face with his finger under my chin. “You seem troubled?”
“Well, I am just wondering. Today in class I seemed so strong. Stronger than ever. I did a magic trick, I flew faster than any of the others, without even trying very hard, and I was on fire. But the other day I couldn’t even climb a rainbow even though everyone else did it with ease.”
Mick smiled and put a hand on my chest. “How is your heart?”
“What do you mean?”
“How did you feel this morning compared to that day with the rainbow?”
“I was happy this morning. I have been happ
y for several days now actually. Happier than I have been in a long time.”
“How did you feel the day with the rainbow?”
I went back in my thoughts and realized that he was right. I was miserable that day. “Frustrated. I remember being confused and a little mad at you for smothering me.”
“So there you have it. It is all in here,” he said and pointed at my heart.
I smiled. Maybe I could learn to control all of this somehow. With a little training I could learn to make the right things appear when I wanted, and with confidence and a joyful strong heart I could fly fast and balance on rainbows.
“How do you feel right now?” Asked Mick.
“Now?”
“Yes, right now. At this moment.”
“Happy. Peaceful. Relaxed.”
Mick grabbed my arm and started pulling. “Come on.”
Together we soared into the air. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“To climb a rainbow!”
The rainbow he had in mind was even higher and seemed narrower than the one we had tried to balance on in class a couple of weeks ago. Remembering what happened last time I tried, I quickly lost my confidence.
“I don’t think I …”
Mick stopped me. “I don’t want to hear that. Of course you can. Remember what you did earlier today. You can do anything. I have a feeling you are even stronger than I am.”
“How do you figure that?”
“I could never fly fast. And the first time I made something appear with my hands it was a rotten blueberry, not a living creature that could sing and fly. And I was so exhausted afterwards that I had to spend a night being treated in the hospital tower. I couldn’t fly for a week after it.”
Mick leaped onto the rainbow and stood for a second while finding his balance. When his body was steady he reached his hand down to me. I hesitated. “Come on!” he said with a grin. “I won’t let you fall.”
A glacial breeze hit my face as I took his hand and let him pull me onto the rainbow. At first my foot slipped a few times, but with Mick’s help I soon found my balance. Like a tightrope walker, I stretched out my arms and started putting one foot in front of another.
Mick smiled while I carefully took the first couple of steps toward the top. The surface of the rainbow beneath me was slippery and it was hard to keep my feet steady. At one point I looked up and felt discouraged when I realized how far I still was from the top. At that moment I lost my balance and almost fell off.
“Don’t do that,” said Mick. “Don’t look at the top. Focus on only one step at a time. Concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.”
I regained my balance and took in a deep breath. I looked down. The bright colors almost blinded me. It was beautiful. Through the rainbow I could see the castle far beneath us. I took another deep breath and put my right foot out. When it was steady I put out the left. And so I continued for a long time. The rainbow felt insecure and wobbly underneath me, but I kept walking, focusing only on the next step. Finally I felt myself nearing the top. The climb became steeper and harder until I finally reached the top. Carefully I turned and waved at Mick who was far below me now. Then I took in a breath of the fresh air and enjoyed the amazing view of the area surrounding the school. I had never been up this high before. I was a long way above the clouds. I could see forests stretching as far as the eye could reach. I saw the wide ocean that just seemed endless. It was magnificent.
Cautiously I sat down on the rainbow and took one more look before I pushed myself down. It was like a giant slide that just kept going. It gave me butterflies in my stomach and caused me to laugh out loud. I felt like a four year old again. Nothing troubling me except how to get to the bottom. I was absolutely free, unthinking and utterly irresponsible. It was the most liberating feeling in the world. And it wouldn’t stop. The rainbow felt endless. I laughed and laughed and put my hands up in the air. At some point I wondered what would happen if I just kept going and never got off. My teacher had told me that no one knew where rainbows ended. Did that mean that I would just keep going forever and ever? That sounded so weird.
When I finally had enough I decided to get off. I didn’t care much for how it looked, since I was all alone, so I just curled into a ball and sort of rolled off. I landed on a cloud beneath me and couldn’t stop laughing. A few seconds later Mick joined me. He laughed like a child too.
“What an awesome ride!” I yelled.
“I know! I love doing this.”
We stayed on the cloud while our laughing turned to giggling and eventually wore off. Tears of joy and laughter ran down our cheeks.
“Thanks,” I said when we both became quiet.
“You are very welcome,” Mick answered. He was still smiling widely.
Sometimes we complicate things unnecessarily, I thought to myself, remembering my conversation with Rahmiel the other day. Maybe all I needed was to uncomplicate it a little.
“A penny for your thoughts,” said Mick.
I shook my head. “I was only thinking how I was sure I could beat you back to the castle.” I got up and leaped into the air.
“Never!” said Mick and leaped after me.
Abhik sat next to me at dinner. I was starving and kept shoveling food into my mouth. Abhik looked at me with a grin.
“Sometimes you are a little weird, do you know that?” he asked.
“I know,” I said while grinning back.
At the same time Mick came out from the kitchen as he always did when dinner was served and everybody had started eating. He walked around among the tables and talked to people, asking them if they enjoyed the food. They would always applaud him. It was his little ritual, and I knew he loved it. When he passed our table our eyes met and we both smiled secretly. Abhik saw it immediately.
“What is going on with you two?” Abhik asked later when we were alone in the common room where we studied for the next day’s dream-catching class. I froze in the middle of a sentence in my book, All Men Are Dreamers: Seven Ways to Catch a Human Dream. I stared at Abhik. He had his nose in another of our textbooks called You May Say I'm a Dreamer, But I'm Not the Only One.
“What? What do you mean?” I asked and pretended that I didn’t know.
“You and Mick. I saw you two earlier today. He helped you get onto the big rainbow over the ocean. The hardest one that no one in our class has yet climbed. And at dinner you exchanged looks that I don’t know what they mean.”
I couldn’t help smiling. I felt like a silly schoolgirl. “What looks?”
“You did that thing with your eyes that you sometimes do.” Abhik tried to imitate me, but with no luck.
“What are you talking about?” I said and threw a pillow at him.
Abhik just let it go through his body with a plunging sound. “Aw, that hurt,” he said and bent forward trying to catch his breath.
“Why didn’t you move?” I asked as Abhik laughed and threw a pillow at me. I ducked in the last second and it hit a vase in the corner that fell to the ground and broke.
“Oops,” I said. Then we laughed.
“There is definitely something going on between you and Mick again,” Abhik said. “It is nice to see you happy again.”
I shrugged. “Well don’t get too attached to it. I don’t know how long it will last.”
“So are you together again?”
I shook my head and tried to sound convincing. “No. We are just friends.”
Abhik laughed. “Yeah right.”
“No, seriously. We have promised each other to put everything on hold until Jason arrives. Then we will see what happens. Mick has told me he will wait for me.”
Abhik became serious. “He said that?”
I nodded. “Yes. He wants me to have closure.”
“Wow. That is really big of him. I don’t think that I could do that.”
“Well he’s a great guy.” I paused and thought about what I had just said. He really was. I was beginning to think that the
re was something really wrong with me for not marrying him. Now that I didn’t have him here with me all the time, I really wanted him more than ever. I didn’t understand myself at all. I didn’t want to be like that. I didn’t want to be someone who always wanted what she couldn’t have. I didn’t want to risk losing everything on account of some feeling or some silly dream.
Abhik sighed. “I really hope that you will not hurt him again.”
I stared into the fireplace that always burned. It made a crackling sound. I liked having it here; it gave the room a great ambiance.
“Me too,” I said.
Chapter 15
“If you want to catch a dream, it is important to first of all find your own inner peace.”
Mr. Ngodup Dhamdul was, as always, floating in the air in the lotus position with his eyes closed. Now he opened them slowly and stared at us with his narrow brown eyes with that big smile he constantly wore on his face. I always felt good in his classes. He made us all feel good.
“And how do I do that?” he continued. “How do I find my way to that center of my inner self where there is completely peace and I am in total balance, you might ask.”
Some of the students nodded. Mr. Dhamdul’s smile grew wider even though I would have thought it wasn’t possible. “First of all, you have to make sure that nothing is troubling you. You need to cast your care, as we say. To be a great dream catcher you must never have strife in your life. You mustn’t hold on to the past or have any unforgiveness in your heart. Bad feelings will cause you to fail at this as well. You have to clean your heart of worry and anxiety. All these things are like poison for you.”
That was a lot, I thought.
“So what do you think? It sounds impossible, right?” he continued.
A couple of my classmates agreed with him. Mr. Dhamdul shook his head heavily. “Nothing is impossible in this world you belong to now. Reaching inner peace isn’t either. You can do it, if you make a decision today that you want to.”
