by Nicole Snow
My dick jerks. Suddenly and inappropriately. Just imagining how I could twine this woman around me, run my hands across her, plunge in hard and deep and find out exactly how she sounds when she comes...
Fuck. Stop.
The thought vanishes the second she starts stammering.
“What the...what are you doing here?” she glances up at me. “Jesus. You're both here, aren't you?”
“In the flesh.” I hold my arms out, striking a goofy pose that makes Nat laugh.
“We're here to ask you a question!” Nat chirps.
Blue smiles at her, but there’s plenty of skepticism in her eyes. “Okay. Let's hear it.”
Natalie claps her hands together. “Do you want to go to the zoo with us today, Ms. Derby? Please? Daddy said I can bring a friend along and you...well, nobody else can talk about how to draw the animals we'll see.”
The door across the hall opens and an older man pokes his nose out. The scorn on his face instantly irritates me.
“Hello, Mr. Barrett. Sorry to have bothered you.” Blue waves at him and then gestures at Nat and I. “Come in. Hurry.”
We step in, and I shut the door behind us. “Friendly neighbor,” I growl.
“Fish!” Natalie shouts “You have fish tanks?”
Blue nods. “You can look. Go right ahead.”
Natalie rushes forward while Blue levels a nasty glare at me.
“You read my mother’s text?” she hisses.
It hurts not to smile. I barely had her phone long enough to do anything in the chaos last Tuesday, but an army man never loses the precision and speed screamed into him by Drill Sergeants.
Pleading the fifth, I say, “Nat loves the zoo.” Nodding to where she’s enamored by the two large tanks taking up the far wall of the living room, I add, “She loves all kinds of animals.”
“How could you do this? Such. A. Dick.” Poisonous darts are practically shooting out of her eyes, yet she keeps her voice low. If it wasn't for Nat, I could do a lot with her and the best part of my anatomy. “How could you use your daughter like this?”
“Like what? Taking her to the zoo? A place she loves?” My nostrils flare.
“Don’t play stupid. It’s no more believable than your bad boy act.”
“What bad boy act?”
She rubs her forehead and then throws her hands in the air. “You know what I mean. You also have no idea the can of worms that'll open if we go to the zoo together.”
She's wrong. The can of shit is already ripped in two, and it doesn't give me a choice. I have to protect her. “Well, find a way to let Nat down easy. I’m not going to the zoo with you. Don't care what kind of guilt trip you start.”
She frowns, defiant as ever. The raging desire to slam her up against the nearest surface and gag that smart mouth with my tongue howls in my blood. If only.
“You're going with us today. We'll have a nice time. You, me, Nat, and Mama Blue.”
“Are you for real?” She blinks a few times and then buries her face in a palm.
I shrug. “Am I?”
She takes a step backwards, and not fully sure what she’s going to do, I grasp her wrist with one hand. As softly as I can.
I haven’t had to swallow my pride in some time, but there’s no other option. Not now.
Not if I want to keep her safe.
Want isn’t a question either.
This is a fucking need. I have to keep this woman safe, secure, and smiling. Even if she wants to slap my face around like a beach ball.
“Look, Izzy, I shouldn’t have said what I did the other night. That was rude. No question. You’ve been so good to Nat. Befriended her. She’s happy every afternoon when I pick her up. She's found another person she likes connecting with. That's something.” I shrug again. “I know about your ma, your family, how crazy they get over the whole boyfriend thing. It’s the least I can do. What harm can come from me pretending to be your date for a day? Getting them off your back?”
She pinches her lips together while shaking her head. “You have balls, I’ll give you that.”
If only she had any idea what my balls are really like.
“Don't flatter yourself too much. You’d know what I mean about balls if you’d met my mother.” She slaps her forehead. “Look, even if I wanted to accept, I can’t. I worked too hard to land a job at the academy. I won't just blow it, and one pretend date is all it'll take. I'm just digging my grave deeper.”
I ignore the grave comment, knowing how real it is.
Fuck, I'd forgotten Principal Jacobs and his silly rules. Although, in the scheme of things, it doesn’t mean jack shit. I'm determined.
“No one at the academy has to know. You won’t tell them, I won’t either, and neither will Natalie if I ask her not to. What're the chances of seeing someone, anyway? And even if we do, there's plausible denial. I'm only your boyfriend, fiancé, whatever, to dear old ma.”
“Brent...”
“It’s the zoo,” I say, growing frustrated. “You’re there. We’re there. No big deal.”
“My freaking mother will be there. That's a mammoth deal.”
Up until this point, I hadn’t realized how serious I am about this. Not just her safety, either. Natalie has her heart set on this, so I have to make it happen. “We’ll tell her we have to keep it under wraps because of the school. She’ll understand, won’t she?”
I see the wheels start turning. She’s torn.
The whole 'I should, but shouldn’t.'
I know. I’ve been there, done that.
I'm living it since she came into my life damn near every day.
“Later, make something up. Some reason why it didn’t work.” The way her cousin Clara talked the other day, her ma's practically on death's doorstep. I morbidly wonder if our fake out will outlast her. “You want to make her happy, don’t you?”
Blue rubs her forehead again, then her temples. After a long silence, she lets out a huff. “All right! Whatever. I’ll meet you near the gate at one.”
“Actually, I promised Nat we’d do lunch first. The three of us. If you'd be so kind.”
Right on cue, Nat turns away from the fish tanks. “Are we ready? I'm getting kinda hungry.”
Quietly sighing, Blue opens the closet door, slips her feet into a pair of sandals, and closes it. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
We head out and stop for lunch at a chain restaurant. If this was a real date, none of which I’ve had since well before Nat was born, I’d have stopped at the local Mom and Pop place I know.
Best burgers in the nation, their sign proclaims. For this place, it's actually true.
But I can’t do that today. Word could spread. The place is always packed thanks to how good it is.
Blue doesn’t need interlopers any more than I do.
She doesn’t want the school to know. I don’t want the Pearls to notice.
I just want to find a way to keep her sheltered until this ends. Besides, if those twisted fucks think we’re closer than we are, she could become a real liability. The twenty-four hour kind.
We arrive at the zoo shortly before one, and while I search for a parking space, Natalie tells Blue how much I hate zoos.
“You do?”
I find a spot and pull in. “I don’t hate them, exactly.” I shoot a glare into the back seat, where Nat grins back at me. “I just don’t like the whole caged-up aspect.”
Blue’s face pulls into an adorable thoughtful expression as she looks me straight in the eye. “For you or the animals?”
Damn. She’s too good at reading me.
Better than I thought. The army. The tents. The isolation. It was like being a caged animal. “Both.”
The service turned me around, despite its harder points. Sandblasted my wilder edges and forced me to fly right. But shit, the years in Iraq were not an experience I'd ever want to repeat.
“Look at that woman!” Nat says. “The one by the gate with the hat on. Is she a movie star or something?�
�
We all look in the same direction, at the woman wearing a long bright top and matching pants. They're loose and flowing, the exact same shade of red as the big bow on her hat and the frames around her plastic sunglasses. The only thing not red is the big white purse hooked over one shoulder.
“No,” Blue says with a sigh. “That’s not a movie star.”
“How do you know?” Natalie asks.
“Because that’s my mom.” Blue tenses, exhaling another breath.
Stunned, I ask, “That’s your mother?”
I'm not sure what I expected. A thinner, frailer woman with a walker or something. This lady looks perfectly healthy and alive.
“That's her. Cleo Derby.” She opens the passenger door and glances at me. “Ready to back out yet?”
I laugh. “Hell no.”
“Your funeral.” She shrugs. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Get what over?” Natalie asks.
“Introductions,” I say, climbing out of the truck.
Cleo Derby is her daughter's total opposite. Her nails are long and painted the same shade of red as her lipstick, and despite my first impression of her flaming red outfit, she wears it with the elegance and poise of an actress. Just like Nat said.
She’s graceful, too, and genuinely happy to see Blue. Even though she kisses the air on both sides of Izzy’s face rather than her actual cheeks. The joy in her soft face doesn't lie.
The introductions are brief, thankfully. Cleo’s head-to-toe scrutiny leaves me feeling like a slab of steak at the meat market being judged on its marbling.
Her response to Natalie is a hit to my ten-year-old daughter.
Cleo places both hands on her knees as she leans low to look Nat in the eye. “Oh, my. You just might be the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen. You have your daddy’s eyes. Green like the hills around Portland. Used to spend my summers there growing up.”
“Thank you,” Natalie replies. “And you’re as beautiful as a movie star.”
Cleo presses a hand to her chest and sighs, grabbing Natalie with the other one, hugging her ferociously. “Oh, aren’t you a child after my own heart!” With her arm still around Natalie, she twists them both about face. “Come along, dear. You and I are going to get along stupendously today.”
I buy tickets for all four of us, and as I'm divvying them out, Cleo points at me.
“In my day, we called those bedroom eyes,” she says to Blue.
“Mother!” Blue hisses.
Cleo shrugs. “Just saying.”
“So, which way are we going first?” I ask.
“The lions!” Natalie and Cleo say as one, and then laugh, beaming at each another.
“Lions it is.” I lay a hand on Blue’s back to ease her forward and follow the other two, who are already several feet ahead.
Cleo Derby is so far from what I expected, my question bursts out before I can stop it. “What exactly does your mother have?”
“Have? What do you mean?”
I can’t put that cat back in the bag, so I might as well let it loose. “Her condition.”
Blue’s brows knit together and confusion flashes in her eyes. “Condition? You mean her sleep apnea?”
“Sleep apnea?” I’ve heard of that, but was thinking more along the lines of cancer. Heart failure. Something dire.
“That’s the only thing she’s been diagnosed with, and that was last year.” Blue stops and crosses her arm. “It's actually pretty serious if it doesn't get taken care of. Mom claims she sleeps like a baby with her little machine, though.”
I watch how Natalie and Cleo march forward, not caring if we’re following or not. “Good.”
“Spill it, Eden,” Blue says. “Who told you about mom's health? When? And why?”
I have no reason to hide it, even if I feel like a jackass for being duped. “Your cousin, Clara, called me last week. I can’t remember exactly what she said. Mentioned a serious diagnosis, parents wanting their children to be happy. Days being short.”
“Fuck her!” Blue snorts under her breath. “That sounds exactly like Clara. Sneaky little drama queen. Well, at least we can drop the act. I get it: because I’ve been so nice to your daughter, you decided to play my fake boyfriend so my mom can die happy. Clear as day.” Her tone grows harsher with each word.
I'm silent.
“Wow.” She shakes her head, then nods slowly. “Just wow. Like, I knew your badass persona was just for show, but I didn’t know you were that much of a sucker.”
She spins around.
I grab her wrist. “Blue.”
She pulls her arm out of my hold. “Blue what? You really blew it this time? Blew your cover? Or maybe there was nothing to blow to begin with.”
I’m hesitant to admit much more, but I can tell she’s ashamed. Of her family and me.
Fuck, I'm to blame for this, too. “Blue. That's you, woman.”
Her laugh comes out forced and raw. “Nice! Do I look that depressed constantly?”
“No.” I run a fingertip along the blue stripe in her hair. “It’s this.”
She nods. “Another mistake I made.”
“Bull. You want to know the truth, I love how it goes against your cheeks when they light up siren red.”
Her eyes get a little bigger, and she whispers, “Ready for the real truth?”
I nod.
“Okay. I bought some hair dye at the dollar store. While I was mixing it, the cap flew off. By the time I was done cleaning up the bathroom, I realized I had a big glob in my hair.” Her facial features are comical. Just like her hand gestures. “I washed it out, but it was too late.”
“Was the dye blue?”
“No. Ash blonde. Must mean something a lot different in the country where it's made. You get what you pay for.”
Turning my head, I let out a short cough, quelling the laughter tearing up my throat.
“Oh, it’s all right, you can laugh. I did.”
I give her a solid stare, eye-to-eye, just to see if she’s lying. She's not.
“What else could I do? I wasn’t going to pay a fortune to have it fixed.” She puts both hands on her hips. “Actually, you’re the first person to even mention it. Or notice.”
She waves a hand towards where her mother’s red outfit stands out among the crowd. “Not even mom said anything. And she spent years in fashion, selling cosmetics for a living.”
I release the chuckle torturing my throat.
Damn, she's adorable. And funny. And likeable.
Very likeable.
I'm starting to get hard again. Fuck me.
“Well, I like it.” I grab her hand. “Come on, Blue, let’s catch up to those other two before we're completely left in the dust.”
Her fingers wrap around mine. I can feel the tension slipping away from her as I lead us, dodging our way through the crowd. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a woman’s hand.
Something about it, the warmth of her palm against mine, maybe, makes me feel alive. My blood goes molten.
“It’s about time you two caught up,” Cleo says.
She and Nat are near the lion enclosure, but they aren’t gazing into the pen.
“Look!” Cleo points to the next exhibit over.
It’s the giraffes. A man and woman nearby, dressed in wedding attire, are having their pictures taken with the tall, sleek animals in the background.
“Who the hell gets married at the zoo?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Oh, it’s the latest craze,” Cleo says. “You'd be mighty surprised.”
“The zoo's the last place Dad would get married,” Natalie chimes in.
I give her a knowing smile.
Cleo pulls down her big sunglasses and looks at me over the rim. “Well, it’s not the location, but the timing, isn’t it? There’s no time like the present, Romeo.” She winks at me before turning to Nat. “Zebras next?”
Natalie does a solid fist pump “Zebras!”
Off they go a
gain. I'm surprised I didn't choke.
I glance at Blue slowly.
She laughs. “Good luck. You’ll never keep up with her. After the cosmetic counter, the zoo is mom's favorite place on Earth.”
I glance in the direction they’ve gone. That lady has so much energy it's almost scary. I hope she knows to stop for shade. She might be protected under that crazy hat, but Nat...
“She’s harmless. They'll be fine,” Blue tells me, as if reading my mind.
“Yeah, I can tell.” I take her hand, lacing my fingers between hers as we slowly start walking. “You get that from her.”
“What? Craziness?”
“No. Passion. It shines on her face like yours does when you’re teaching art on Tuesday nights.” I’m usually not so open and honest, but I’m comfortable, because of her.
“Fair point.” Taking a sidestep, she bumps my arm with her shoulder. “I suppose now would be a good time for me to apologize for what Clara said. God. I can’t believe she called you. I’m going to wring her neck one fine day.”
“Why bother?”
“Why?” Confusion ripples in her voice.
I lean closer, next to her ear. “If I was you, I’d wait till the moment when it’s going to embarrass her the most. Then remind her how she said your ma was dying. Patience.”
She turns slowly and looks up at me, her eyes glittering in the sun. “I like the way you think, Eden. Deviously.” Her smile grows wider.
Good word for every wicked thought hitting me like lightning.
The desire to kiss her hits hard and fast. Her lips look too inviting. Too delicate. Too helpless.
I haven’t forgotten how sweet they tasted since the first night, when I kissed her with everything I had in front of Jackass Moneybags. How smooth and slick and hot they felt under mine.
I don't realize we've stopped walking until someone jostles her and she stumbles. I grab her around the waist as she collides with my chest. Seeing her head back with those soft gray eyes looking up at me stalls my breath.
I tell myself she’s giving me permission.
Permission to kiss her.
I pull her closer, feel the heat of her body against mine.
