She took a deep breath. “Thank you for the other night. And for tonight. I really appreciate it.”
He shrugged. “If it was a hardship, I wouldn’t do it. I had fun the other night.”
Time to plunge forward, before she completely lost her nerve. “I wanted to talk with you tonight without anyone else—”
“Hey, Crawford. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” A man walked up and shook hands with him.
Nate caught her eye and offered her an apologetic smile, then at the first opportunity spoke up. “It’s great seeing you tonight,” Nate said, “and I’d love to talk some other time, but I’m in the middle of something tonight.”
“Oh, sure. Sorry. No problem.” The man offered her an apologetic smile and walked away.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling his chair closer to her while angling it more so his back was to the rest of the room.
“It’s okay. You’re popular.”
“Maybe too popular.” He did that little eyebrow arch again and she felt her pulse thrum in response. “You were saying you wanted to talk tonight?”
“Yeah.” Deep breath. “Leo and Tilly and everyone have told me that direct communication is best in this lifestyle.”
He nodded. “Yes. I prefer it, myself.”
“Okay.” Another deep breath… “I really like you, but I’m not in a position to get into a…relationship right now.” She wasn’t going to delve into the intricacies of her past tonight. That could wait until the time—if they even reached that point—where he needed to know it about her. “I’m still healing from what happened in a bunch of ways. I learned a lot about myself over the past year. Stuff I didn’t know. And I’m growing.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“So what I’m saying is that I’m…” She picked at her cuticles. “Hell, I don’t know what I’m saying,” she muttered.
He reached out and stroked the top of her right hand, his long, elegant finger brushing across the top of her knuckles. “I think I do,” he said. “You’d like to see where things might possibly go, but can’t make me any promises.”
* * * *
From the shock in her eyes, he might as well have reached out and thumped her in the temple.
“Yeah,” she said. “Exactly that.”
He didn’t stop stroking her hand. He loved the feel of her energy. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “And I’m not involved with anyone. How about we start as friends and see what happens? And we both keep the other informed if there are any…developments with others that need to be discussed.”
She slowly nodded.
He slowly curled his fingers around her hand to see if she’d grab onto him or pull away.
She tightened her grip.
“I will tell you,” he said, “that I’m monogamous. I’m not poly. The kind of play I do in private is far more…intimate than the play you see me do here with others. Will it bother you seeing me work with others here at the club?”
“Like what you usually do?”
“Right.”
“No, it won’t bother me. Most of the people you work on have clothes on. Or if they’re naked, they’re facedown because of the fire cupping.”
“It’s a legitimate question,” he said. “Laying a groundwork.”
He knew he’d piqued her curiosity, though. “More intimate how?” she asked. “The private play.”
“For starters, I like doing it naked.” He loved the delightful way the pink flush started at her collarbone and worked its way up her cheeks. “And I’m far more hands-on with what I do. Lots of acupressure, massage, orgasm play. Things like that. I only do that with someone I’m intimate with.”
He watched her throat work as she swallowed. “Sex?”
“Doesn’t have to lead to sex, no. Depends on how you define sex. If you define sex as mutual orgasms, okay, sex. If you strictly define sex as intercourse, no, not necessarily.”
Hell, the last time he’d had intercourse had been nearly two years ago. In the interim, he’d had a couple of partners he’d reached the point of playing privately with, which had led to a very satisfactory blow job from each of them, but things dissolved relationship-wise before crossing the threshold.
One because she thought an orgasm suddenly meant a lifelong commitment to each other, and the other because she wanted to do orgasm play with others and he’d told her sorry, no.
It wasn’t even an STD worry so much as it was an intimacy concern. He only gave and shared that kind of energy with someone he felt completely comfortable with. And if they were doing it with others—or jumped aboard the crazy train and started picking out china patterns—those weren’t scenarios conducive to him wanting to be intimate with them.
Yes, he had exacting standards. He wouldn’t deny it.
He gently turned her hand over in his, palm up. With his other hand, he lightly traced the lines in her flesh. Invisible sparks shot through his fingertips at the contact.
She was so deeply wounded. Maybe she wasn’t even capable of really opening up to someone. Having a husband admit he’s gay certainly couldn’t help in the self-confidence department. He also noticed that her free hand frequently sought out the tag on her chain and she played with it, an unconscious gesture already, after having so recently received it.
“How about I let you guide me?” he asked as he looked into her eyes. “You let me in as much—or as little—as you’re comfortable with at any given time. I’m serious when I say I don’t share, though. So if there’s anything going on with you and Leo or Jesse—”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Believe me, not that I haven’t wished it a couple of times in the past. Would simplify my life.”
He smirked. “I’m sure it would.” He traced up to her wrist and back down again. He didn’t spot any scarring there from hesitation wounds that would indicate a suicide attempt.
The scarring he’d seen the other night though, not visible tonight with the blouse she was wearing, he’d seen before.
Including on Cherise.
He looked into her eyes as he switched hands, slowly building her trust, enjoying the contact with her, and once again checking her wrist.
No marks on that one, either.
Didn’t mean she hadn’t attempted it at some point in the past, but she hadn’t tried it like that.
“I…I don’t have any interest in anyone else,” she admitted. “Everyone trusts you and says good things about you.”
He nodded. “Thank you. I promise to do my best never to violate that trust.”
* * * *
Normally he pulled his hair back before he got to work, but not with her.
This wasn’t work, this was personal. Not as intimate as he wouldn’t mind eventually working toward with her, but this was the real him, restrained but not hidden.
He helped her up on the table after they’d talked for a little longer. Lots of eye contact with her, lots of touching her, his fingers trailing farther up her arms as they talked, as he held her gaze with his, gauging her, seeing if she flinched, if she reacted badly.
If he had to guess, whatever had happened likely predated her relationship with Leo. That meant he’d need a long, deep talk with the man at some point.
Not now. Way too soon. They might not even make it to that point.
Maybe she would tell him everything on her own. He wouldn’t interrogate her. If she couldn’t trust him enough to open up about it, it wasn’t his job to pry her open like an oyster to extract the meat and pearl.
Everything in its time.
He started by having her lie there, eyes closed, as he talked to her and judged her stress levels. He placed his hands on her head and immediately felt a change for the better in her. Starting with a modified head massage, he worked on trying to relieve some of her tension before moving into actual Reiki with her.
Around him, the world disappeared.
That’s when he knew.
Usually he could keep a split fo
cus of sorts, especially there at the club. It was almost necessary, in case anyone accidentally encroached into his work space while he had someone on the table with needles in them. Acupuncture needles. He usually didn’t do actual needle play at the club.
That was one of those things reserved for private play.
But with her in his hands and on his table, the world folded and dissolved until it was just her and him, nothing and no one else.
I need to watch that.
It would be far too easy for him to slide into a dynamic with her that she wasn’t prepared for yet. He needed to let her set the pace.
He swabbed a few places on her head with an alcohol wipe and started placing needles. In this way, at least, he knew he could help her and not feel badly about it. Her energy left him feeling charged, alive in a way he hadn’t with anyone else in too damn long.
Yes, he’d take things at her pace and be patient, because he suspected when she finally felt comfortable letting him in that the electricity between them would ignite both their souls.
Chapter Nine
Eva drove home around eleven.
She didn’t want to drive home. She wanted to ask Nate if she could follow him home.
But that would be…
Rushing things.
Yes, she shouldn’t have waited so long to let him treat her. There was something about it that once he helped her sit up, she felt like she could run a marathon.
Well, maybe run to the store and back in record time, but still, same thing.
Her emotional fog had lifted, letting in sunshine for the first time in too damn long.
Even better than during what she’d always felt were “good” times with Leo.
This time, Nate had asked if he could see her again, much to her delight. They had agreed to get together again Monday night. She wouldn’t have to worry about Laurel, because Leo and Jesse would be able to watch her.
It also wouldn’t be that long of a wait until Eva got to see Nate again.
When she got home, Leo and Jesse were adorably snuggled on the couch and watching a Disney movie.
She smiled as she set her purse down. “I figured you’d be watching something R-rated.”
Jesse yawned. Bless his heart, between school and work, he was exhausted. “We couldn’t find the remote and by the time we did, we were both into it and too lazy to change the channel.” He sat up, scooting away from Leo and patting the couch between them.
“Time for my debriefing, huh?” She walked over and sat.
“Yep,” the men said.
She wasn’t sure where to start. “I like him,” she admitted. “And I told him I wasn’t ready to promise him anything. He said he’s okay with that. He said he didn’t like to share, so that if either of us decided to get involved with anyone, we’d let the other know.”
“That’s fair,” Jesse said.
“Yeah. He’s…different.” She looked to Leo to find him nodding.
“Soothing,” Leo said. “I always feel relaxed after seeing him.”
“Yeah.” She looked to Jesse for confirmation and he nodded, too.
“He seems like a very down-to-earth kind of guy. He’s not pretentious or showy. I like that.”
“He’s got a nice ass,” Leo said.
She turned back to him, arching an eyebrow at him.
“Hey, I’m married, not blind,” he protested.
“He’s right,” Jesse said. “The man does have a nice ass. I’d guess he’s a runner.”
“He did say he usually runs every morning,” Eva admitted.
“Bet he’s got stamina,” Leo mumbled.
“Ha,” Jesse said, high-fiving Leo behind her.
“I thought you wanted me to take things slow.”
“We do,” Leo said. “We’re joking.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jesse said. “Kidding!” he protested when she took a whack at him with a throw pillow. “Just kidding!” He disarmed her and pulled her into his lap. “We do want to see you do the smart thing. And as long as it’s with him, we’re good with it. But if things change between you and him, let us know.”
“What he said,” Leo added.
“Change…how?”
Leo shrugged. “You guys decide not to be anything other than friends.”
“So we know to start fixing you up again,” Jesse said.
Speaking of…her phone buzzed. When she dug it out of her pocket, she found a text from Tilly.
WELL???????
“I guess I’d better call her.”
“If you don’t want her calling here, yeah,” Jesse said.
She kissed the men good-night and headed out to the lanai. Laurel’s bedroom looked out on the front yard, so no worries about her overhearing anything.
Tilly answered on the first ring. “Oh. Hiya. I wasn’t expecting a call.”
“It’s okay. I’m home.”
“Oh.” She sounded downright disappointed.
“No, it’s not a bad thing.”
By the time she got off the phone with Tilly nearly an hour later, she felt even better. Tilly had affirmed it sounded like a solid plan. Taking things slow, working on herself with the counselor, holding back revealing everything until she even knew if there was a future for them as more than just friends.
Then again, Tilly didn’t know everything. Only Leo and Jesse knew, and they weren’t telling anyone. And the counselor, of course, but she was paid to hear everything.
Heading for bed, Eva realized that, for the first time since Leo originally left her, she wasn’t dreading closing her eyes and waiting for sleep.
* * * *
Nate got home and paced, fussed with things that didn’t need fussing with, cleaned, rearranged the fridge, then decided to go out for a run.
He preferred to run in the morning, but when there’d been times he just couldn’t settle his mind and sleep, especially once Cherise was old enough to be home alone, sometimes he’d run late at night just to burn off nervous energy.
Like tonight.
Although tonight he damn well knew the source of his nervous energy.
There were likely quite a few nighttime runs in his future, unless or until he and Eva took things from the realm of friends into something…more. Were they more than friends, the energy would be burned off in a vigorous lovemaking session that would leave them both exhausted and blissfully sleepy.
All he could do was run until he nearly puked, make his way home, and rub one out in the shower.
Even after doing that, he lay in bed, naked, staring up at the ceiling. He knew every line, every shadow, the way the light played across the ceiling’s bumpy popcorn finish.
They would be going out again Monday night. He wanted to take her someplace nice.
No, he wasn’t rich, which was why he drove a ten-year-old car, but it was paid off and so was the house.
He had a modest savings for his retirement. He didn’t waste money on splurges that would stupidly deplete his funds. Hell, he gave himself a paycheck at the office and Cherise had to force him to take raises from time to time.
But when he wanted to spend some money on something he felt was valuable—like taking Eva out to dinner—he would do it.
Which was another point. Cherise would likely nail him about his feelings as soon as she saw him tomorrow morning in the office.
* * * *
His baby sister did not disappoint. Her grin nearly split her face.
“You dawg,” she said, careful not to spill the mug of coffee in her hand when she smacked his shoulder with her free hand. “You had a good time last night.”
“Bloody hell, would you please give me my coffee?”
She stuck her tongue out at him but passed the mug over. “Admit it.”
He turned and headed toward his office. “Yes, fine. We talked, and I worked on her again.”
She followed. “Ooh! Did you use happy hands?” She made a jazz-hands motion in front of her face.
He stared at h
er. “Listen, you little pillock. Just because I love you and you’re my sister doesn’t mean I won’t sack you.”
She snorted, delighted. “Duuude. I just made you go full Brit. Tea and scones and all.” She turned. “First client in twenty. Ta, love!” she cheerfully tossed over her shoulder as she headed back to her desk.
Bollocks.
He really needed to stop doing that.
Especially in front of Cherise.
He couldn’t help it. Yes, when he was a teenager, especially his older teens, talking like he was born in the UK was an asset.
Now, it was annoying, because people wondered if he was from there.
But Cherise could always manage to wind him up.
With a sigh, he took another sip of his coffee before consulting his tablet about his first appointment.
* * * *
By the time he’d seen his last client of the afternoon he was ready to escape to home.
“You going to the club tonight?” she asked him as she started gathering her things.
“No.”
She turned, scowling. “Oookaaay. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She set her stuff on the counter. “Are you seriously upset at me over this morning?” But with no snark in her tone.
He took a deep breath and let it out. “No, I’m not upset with you. I’m going to take her out Monday night.”
“That’s good, right?”
“We’re going to take things slow.”
“Ah. Ooohhh.” Still no snark. Even Cherise knew when she’d pushed a little too far. “You really like her and you’re wound tighter than a cheap watch.”
He nodded.
“Sorry, bro.” She hugged him and of course, all was forgiven. No, he couldn’t stay seriously aggravated at her, much less mad.
It wasn’t in him.
Especially not when she was all he had.
“I’ll ease up on the teasing,” she said.
“It’s okay. It’s just been so long since I’ve felt like this and who knows if we’ll even move past the point of friends or not?”
“Remember what you told me when I couldn’t decide whether or not to move in with Wade?”
The Strength of the Pack [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Page 7
