by Abby Weeks
“Aisha, isn’t it?”
“That’s right,” Aisha said.
“Do you know what that name means, child?”
Aisha had no idea. It was the name that was on her birth certificate. She’d retrieved the document from the Child Services division of the City of Seattle on her eighteenth birthday. It meant nothing to her.
“I think it’s something my mother made up.”
“Your mother never made things up, child.”
Aisha looked at Ma Hetty closely. What did she know about her mother? Aisha knew nothing of her, not even her name. Aisha had been born in a Seattle hospital to a woman with no husband, scarcely eighteen years old, who’d given no idea and no name to the hospital authorities. Her mother had then disappeared from the hospital a few hours after Aisha’s birth and was never heard from again. There wasn’t even mention of a father in the official report. Whoever he was, he hadn’t been interested in claiming her when the police put out a call. Aisha had been taken in by the city and had moved from foster family to foster family until she’d managed to latch on to Heath and get herself out of the system.
“Begging your pardon,” Aisha said, “but you don’t know anything about my mother. I don’t know much myself, but I do know that she did indeed give up on things. One thing in particular. She gave up on me.”
“Aisha, child, so much anger.”
“If you’d had the childhood I had, you’d know anger.”
Ma Hetty nodded her head. She looked like a woman who’d seen her fair share of hardship. Aisha knew she probably sounded like a petulant child, but she could’t help it. She got her back up when people started talking about her mother like they knew the woman. They didn’t know a thing. No one knew a thing.
Ma Hetty put her hand on Aisha’s shoulder. She pressed down on it gently but firmly. It was exactly the way Aisha put weight on animals when they would come into the clinic to see her. It always calmed them. Aisha felt calmer too. She felt like Ma Hetty knew what she was doing.
“This land you are in now, it is very old,” Ma Hetty said.
Aisha sighed. She was going to be here for a while so she might as well listen to the woman. At least she was kind.
“The people who lived here before the Europeans were here for thousands of years. People often think that life became difficult for our people after the Europeans arrived. It’s true there were conflicts. First with the Russians, then with the Americans. But the truth is that life here was always difficult. It was difficult for us long before Russian exploration vessels landed on the Aleutian Coast. It was difficult after the Russians arrived. It was difficult for us and it was difficult for the Russians. Later, the Americans bought the land from the Russians, and it was difficult for them too. It’s difficult for everyone. Do you understand, child?”
“Yes,” Aisha said.
“I only say this to you because I want you to understand. People say things about people like you and me. They say we are dangerous. They say we’re not to be trusted. They say we kill the innocent.”
“Excuse me?” Aisha said. “People like you and me?”
“You know what I mean, child?”
“I’m sorry,” Aisha said, “but I don’t know at all what you mean.”
The old woman smiled kindly at Aisha. She smiled like someone who had a solemn duty, something that was going to bring great pain to the person it was done to, like a doctor about to amputate a limb.
She stood up.
“What are you doing?” Aisha said. Something about the way the woman was looking at her, it scared Aisha. She shouldn’t have feared a woman as frail and kindly as Ma Hetty, but her instincts knew better. Something was about to happen.
But Aisha didn’t move. She couldn’t. She was rooted to the spot as surely as if she’d been in chains.
Ma Hetty put her hands around to the back of her neck and opened the leather cord that fastened her dress. Her dress, a shapeless leather garment adorned with intricate beadwork, fell to the ground. Aisha looked away. Ma Hetty was completely naked, illuminated by the light of the fire.
“What are you doing?” Aisha said.
“Look at me, child.”
Aisha didn’t want to but she looked. Ma Hetty looked surprisingly healthy. Her skin was smooth and clear, her limbs toned, her breasts and buttocks pert and firm. It would have been difficult to believe this was the body of an eighty-year-old woman if you could only see her from the neck down.
And then Aisha saw what Ma Hetty wanted her to see. It was unmistakable, a mark on her right shoulder, a birthmark. It was the shape of a wolf paw.
It was too much. Aisha felt tears rise up in her throat. She didn’t know why, but some powerful emotion came over her. She stood up and shook her head. Whatever Ma Hetty was showing her, whatever that mark on her shoulder meant, Aisha wasn’t ready for it.
*
Chapter 64
AISHA SLEPT FITFULLY. All her dreams were jumbled. She kept waking up with images of wolves and Native Alaskans dancing around fires. This place was beginning to get to her and she didn’t know how she was supposed to handle it. Heath was lying next to her and was so medicated she couldn’t even tell he was alive without checking his breathing and pulse.
She also had dreams of what he’d look like when they finally took the bandages off. It couldn’t be good. The deep claw and teeth marks would have permanently disfigured him.
She got out of bed. The moon was incredibly bright. The atmosphere at this latitude was so clear that the moon and stars looked brighter and closer. She almost felt as if she could reach out and touch the moon. She went into the bathroom and looked at her birthmark. Who would have ever thought that such a small thing would cause her so much worry? She’d grown up looking at the mark, taking comfort in it, seeing it as a sign of good luck or protection. It was subconsciously one of the reasons she’d wanted to become a vet. She loved animals, but seeing a paw mark on her shoulder made her believe that being with them was her destiny. Now the crazy old witch next door had the same mark, and what was really scary was that Packer had it too.
*
Chapter 65
THE NEXT MORNING AISHA CHECKED on Heath. She went down to the bar and had some coffee with Tilly, who was already there, clearing up from the night before. Then she went to see the doctor. He came back to the room with her and tended to Heath’s bandages. Aisha wasn’t in the room while he did it, and she was relieved not to be. She’d seen injuries like that on animals, and it was never pretty.
She went back downstairs. Hilda and Tilly were both working. Hilda had an envelope with some money in it for Aisha.
“What’s this for?”
“For last night.”
“You don’t have to pay me. I was happy to help out.”
“Keep it,” Hilda said. “You might need it.”
Aisha sat heavily on a bar stool. Hilda looked at Tilly.
“You don’t look like you slept too well,” Hilda said.
“I had bad dreams.”
“Was it anything to do with what Ma Hetty told you?”
Aisha nodded.
“Don’t worry about her stories,” Hilda said. “She’s a wise woman, there’s a lot of truth in what she says, but it’s not always the truth you think it is. Whatever she told you, however bad it sounded, it may not be as bad as you think.”
Aisha didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t even know what it meant. She was afraid to know.
*
Chapter 66
WHEN THE DOCTOR WAS FINISHED changing Heath’s bandages, she went up to check on him but he was sleeping. She stood by the bed and looked at him. She prayed he’d be okay. She’d expected him to be back on his feet by now, but he was barely strong enough to sit awake in bed for more than a few minutes at a time. Most of the time he was asleep. Trauma to the body could do that, but how long would it last? And what would happen to Aisha if he didn’t recover? Would someone see to it that she got safely home to Washington
? Would someone pay the fee to have her escorted all those thousands of miles back to safety? Or would she be left to fend for herself, trading comfort for the protection and safety of the town’s men?
She had to get outside. Fresh air would clear her head. She walked back up the street, the same direction she’d gone the day before, and stopped when she reached the brothel. It was definitely closed. The windows were shuttered up, the sign was out of date, and there were no lights, no smoke from the chimney.
She wondered what it meant that it was closed. The women’s clothing store next to it was equally destitute.
She passed the guard tower but this time the guard was paying better attention.
“Hey,” he called from high above her on the platform. “Not a good idea.”
“I just wanted to go for a walk.”
The guard laughed. “Lady, I know you’re new here, but I didn’t know you were stupid.”
“Is it really that dangerous?” she said.
“You saw what they did to your boyfriend.”
“But surely there won’t be wolves this close to town.”
“Surely there will,” the guard said, and sat back down as if that concluded the conversation.
Aisha hated feeling like a prisoner. She hated feeling that she was too scared to go out and explore the area. But the truth was, she was terrified.
She stood at the gate and looked out at the road as it began a journey of who knew how many miles up north through the valley.
“Where does this road go?” she said.
The guard laughed. “You ever seen a map of the world?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Well this road, basically, it goes to the very top.”
“Really?”
“Really. There’s a US naval station, arctic monitoring station, a deep sea port when the sea thaws. Basically a government defense facility, built during the Cold War to hit the Russians fast if they tried to hit us.”
“Is it operational?” Aisha said.
The guard grinned. “Let me call my guy at the CIA and get back to you on that one.”
Aisha smiled thinly. “Very funny,” she said.
She looked out at the road and then she saw something. It was a massive wolf, not an ordinary wolf like the ones that had attacked them on the road. This was a shifter wolf. The wolf stopped in the middle of the road and it’s intense yellow eyes caught hers. She locked eyes with it. Was that Packer? It was difficult to tell—it looked exactly like Packer had looked when she’d seen him back at Fairbanks, but something about this wolf, about the eyes, told her it was different. It was another shifter.
She looked up at the guard. She was afraid the guard was going to shoot the wolf, but he didn’t. Instead he raised his hand. It was a professional acknowledgement, not a friendly wave.
The wolf nodded at the guard and continued on his way.
*
Chapter 67
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, AISHA FOUND herself back at the bar with Hilda and Tilly.
“What’s the deal with the shifters?” she said, out of the blue.
The two women stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. Aisha got the distinct impression that it wasn’t a good idea to talk about shifters too much. There was something about the way the other women seemed to look over their shoulders to see if anyone was listening.
“What have you heard?” Hilda said.
“I haven’t heard a thing,” Aisha said. “But I know what I’ve seen.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve seen a man with yellow eyes. I’ve seen a giant wolf with yellow eyes. I know the man and the wolf are the same thing. The same being.”
“They are,” Tilly said.
Hilda looked reproachfully at Tilly.
“I know there’s more than one of them,” Aisha said.
“How do you know that?” Hilda said.
“I’ve seen more than one.”
“At once?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know they’re not the same one?” Tilly said.
“I can tell. The eyes. They’re different.”
Tilly looked at Hilda.
“Interesting,” Tilly said.
Hilda shot Tilly another reproachful look.
“What’s interesting about that?”
Hilda sighed. “It’s just, most people couldn’t tell the difference between two of the shifter wolves. Not the ones that live around here, anyway.”
“Why not?”
“Because they look exactly the same,” Hilda said.
“Because they’re brothers,” Tilly said at the same time.
“Tilly!” Hilda said.
“What? She’s going to learn all this sooner or later. She’s got to know it.”
Hilda let out a long sigh. “You’re right,” she said to Tilly. She turned to Aisha. “I would have preferred if you learned all these things a little slower. I remember when I first got here. It was six months before I even knew shifters existed. And there were more of them here back then. I had a chance to learn everything slowly. I’m afraid of scaring you off.”
Aisha laughed. “Believe me, I don’t scare easy.”
“Everyone scares easy when it comes to this stuff,” Hilda said.
“Well, even if I am scared, I’m not going anywhere, am I? It’s not like I have a way to get home.”
Hilda looked at her sympathetically. “You poor child. Do you hate it here? You must. It’s a far sight from what you must have been used to in Seattle.”
Aisha looked at both women. She thought about Hilda’s words. The truth was, despite everything, despite almost being killed, despite effectively being a captive in this tiny outpost, she didn’t hate it. She didn’t hate it at all. In fact, it was the closest she’d ever come to feeling like she belonged somewhere.
She hugged Hilda. “I don’t hate it because I have you and Tilly,” she said. Hilda squeezed her very tight and Aisha had to admit that what Hilda had said about being a mother figure was beginning to come true. Then she hugged Tilly too.
“Will you bring me back to see Ma Hetty again?” Aisha said. She had so many more questions, especially about the paw mark on her shoulder, and she felt like Ma Hetty was the only person who could answer them.
“You don’t need us to bring you to her,” Hilda said. “Her door is always open to anyone who needs to speak to her. Just walk up to the door and knock.”
*
Chapter 68
AISHA FELT AWKWARD AS SHE stood on Ma Hetty’s porch. She’d run out the night before, and now she was coming back. But she had no choice. She needed answers. She knocked on the door and waited.
Ma Hetty appeared at the door but she didn’t say anything. She just gave Aisha a knowing smile and stepped aside, making room for her to enter. Aisha sat at the table next to the fire and waited.
Ma Hetty still didn’t say anything. She went to a shelf above her bed and took down a long, wooden pipe. She brought it to the table and sat across from Aisha. Aisha watched the way she moved. Despite her age, she was surprisingly agile. She didn’t seem to have the same aches and pains that the average eighty-year-old would suffer from. She loaded the pipe with tobacco taken from a leather pouch and lit it with a twig from the fire.
Aisha watched her smoke. She took long draws from the pipe stem and kept it in her lungs before releasing it. The smoke spiraled up from the pipe like vines climbing in the air.
Then Ma Hetty passed the pipe to Aisha.
“I don’t smoke,” Aisha said.
“It’s not a cigarette,” Ma Hetty said. “It’s ceremonial. It’s what our people do.”
Aisha felt tight in her chest. Why did Ma Hetty keep saying things like that?
“Our people?” Aisha said.
“Relax, child,” Ma Hetty said. “I’m not going to bite you. If you have questions, I’ll answer. If you don’t want to know the truth, I won’t say a word.”
Aisha took a deep bre
ath. She was trying to remain calm, collected. She was here because she wanted to be here. She had to remember that.
She put the pipe to her mouth and sucked on it. Smoke filled her throat and lungs. She had to fight back the urge to cough. She inhaled the smoke and then blew it out through her mouth.
Ma Hetty smiled. “Good,” she said, taking the pipe back from Aisha. “That’s enough. I’m not trying to kill you.”
Aisha was glad to pass back the pipe. She’d tried smoking many times and remembered now how much she hated it.
“Tell me,” Ma Hetty said, “what are you so afraid of?”
“Who said I’m afraid?” Aisha said, but even as she spoke the words she knew how ridiculous they sounded. Of course she was afraid. She was terrified. She’d just been brought to the very ends of the earth, a place where survival depended on how many men she could tempt into protecting her. It was hellish.
Ma Hetty smiled.
“I’m afraid of everything,” Aisha said. “There are wolves here. They seem more aggressive than anything I’ve ever read about in textbooks. I’m a vet. I know about animals. It’s not normal for them to attack humans like this. They only fight when they’re threatened. There’s something unnatural about this place.”
“What else are you afraid of?” Ma Hetty continued, coaxing the truth out of Aisha one piece at a time. “Apart from the wolves?”
Aisha cast her eyes around the room. Where to begin? There was so much she could fear.
“I don’t know anyone here. I’m alone. Completely alone. The man I came here with doesn’t love me. He thinks he loves me, he proposed to me, but I know. The things he does, the decisions he makes, the ways he treats me, that isn’t the way men act when they’re in love.”
Ma Hetty was nodding at everything, waiting for more.
“I have no family,” Aisha continued. “No one to rely on but myself. For as long as I can remember, I’ve only ever had myself. If I don’t bring home a paycheck, I don’t eat. If I don’t pay my rent, I’m on the street. No one cares for me. No one would notice if I died.”
