“I almost lost hope, Hector”, she said, her voice still rather shaky. “ut by the gods, she is still there. Our little sister is still in there.”
And with that she finally found it in herself to smile again.
20 Restart
In the end it took Cassandra almost four months to get into shape again. She managed to pass her exams, both physical and written, and knew she could have done better. But it didn’t matter anymore because tomorrow would be her last day at the University of the Gods.
Pandora was still unstable and turned at the slightest provocation. Every time Cassandra had gone to see her sister, Madame Margot had sent her away again, telling her that it was no good, that Pandora still needed time. Cassandra had also repeatedly tried to see Alexander and then had started to send notes. But when she hadn’t gotten a reply after the twentieth, she thought that this was a sort of answer, too.
Ben never spoke to her. Once he had even refused to fight against her in training. It hadn’t helped that his silver band had glowed like crazy every time she came near him and she knew that it hurt him; she still felt left all alone. Hector had often ended up inviting Summer along when Cassandra asked him to do something together and then Cassandra had felt like a third wheel.
If it hadn’t been for Hippolyta’s constant support and the fact that her teacher wouldn’t take no for an answer, Cassandra would have given up months ago.
She hadn’t seen Charlie since that fateful night but when she had found the little silver flask filled with Ambrosia lying on her bed after one particularly bad night, she knew that he hadn’t forgotten about her. But he wouldn’t come to see her either and seemed to spend most of his time away from home. Jim, too, had been a rare sight. If it hadn’t been for the occasional explosion in his room, they would have counted him for lost, too.
On her last evening at the university, Cassandra tried her best not to feel sorry for herself but she felt cheated. Cheated out of a life that could have been hers. She sighed when she looked around the room that had been her home for almost a year now and she knew that a much bigger part of her wanted to come back than leave the next day but she also knew that she had no choice. Heracles had made it very clear that Pandora could only stay if she managed to control herself.
She had talked to Madame Margot the other day and there was a place where Pandora could go and where they would keep treating her. But it would cost money, a lot of it, and that kind of money wasn’t earned by staying here at the university.
She hadn’t talked to Hector about it yet but she could see by the way he was looking at Summer that he wouldn’t be coming back here either. Summer, sensing that Hector might be making that choice, clung to Hector and cried a lot but she never once asked him to stay, at least not while Cassandra was with them.
Cassandra stuffed the last of her clothes into a bag and zipped it shut. Then she sat down on her bed and waited. At 2 a.m. she got up again. There was one thing she needed to do before they left the next day. She snatched up the black coat she had gotten from Ben and then made her way towards the palace.
Part of the reason why she hadn’t seen Alexander in such a long time was that he had been under close medical supervision the past few months. The untarnished Ambrosia helped him get better and there were rumors that he was now able to move his hands and one arm and that he had regained feeling in his legs. If that was the case, she needed to go see that for herself but most of all she needed to ask him why he had refused to see her all this time.
It was an almost full moon and she drew up the hood of her cape when she neared the palace. She waited for a cloud to cover the moon and snuck past the servants’ entrance. She went to the side of the palace and tested her grip on the wall. Then she started her slow ascent towards the balcony where Alexander and her had spent New Year’s Eve. She almost slipped when she stepped on ivy and once she misjudged the depth of a crack in the wall but in the end she drew herself over the ledge and landed on the balcony without making a noise. She went to the door leading into the palace, removing the hood and reaching for a hair pin in the process and went to work on the lock. She heard a satisfying click and knew she had done it. Quietly, she opened the door and slipped into the big hall, drawing the door closed behind her again.
All the chairs and tables had been removed from the big hall that still smelled slightly of food after all this time. Cassandra quickly crossed the room, approaching the doors at the other side. After the third try, one finally opened. Cassandra entered the corridors and quickly made her way to the living quarters of the demigods. She met one guard when she came out of the servants’ staircase and quickly took him out. The second took a bit longer but she managed to get him down and silent without raising attention. She took a moment to calm her beating heart and that’s when she heard something that didn’t sound like a guard making his rounds.
She threw a quick look around the corner and was lucky that the two people standing at the doorstep to one of the rooms were too busy to notice her. She had always known that there was something going on between Bear and Arissa. She had seen the possessive way he grabbed her hand from time to time but she would have never thought that it would go that far. She had thought that Arissa was bound as much to Ben as he was to her but apparently it only went one way. There was no holding back between the two. She heard Bear make a guttural sound and then the door to his room opened and closed again. There had been no shame in their behavior, no fear of getting caught. Cassandra felt sick at the thought that Ben knew what was going on but chose to ignore it.
She suppressed the urge to go into Ben’s room and confront him about it but it was neither the time nor her place to do something like that. He wasn’t hers to protect. But Alexander was.
Cassandra turned the last corner with her hands raised, showing herself in full. Like she had hoped, Alexander’s door was guarded by the one person who would at least consider letting her through.
Sam, leaning comfortably against the door while simultaneously blocking it, was carefully watching her approach. She knew how dangerous he was and the thought of approaching him in these surroundings when he was responsible for Alexander’s safety, did nothing to slow down her pulse. She tried to look as inconspicuous and non-threatening as possible but of course he saw the knife she was carrying at her side.
“Silver?” Sam said with a huff and showed his ugly metal teeth. “That only helps against werewolves.”
“Really?” Cassandra replied, slowly edging forward while trying to figure out how he felt about her being there. “It’s only dipped in silver to make it look pretty. I’ve got myself a nice little wooden stake here too.”
Sam extended his fangs just a little more and she knew he could smell her fear.
“No way you would be fast enough”, he said, flaring his nostrils and licking his lips with an unnaturally long tongue.
“Wanna try me?” Cassandra said and stepped even closer, at the same time tilting her head to the side so that the veins on her neck showed.
She saw the hungry look in his eyes and for a moment she thought she had gone too far but then he relaxed and shook his head as if to clear it.
“You are too cocky for your own good, girl”, he said, growling, his teeth only partly retracting.
Cassandra indicated towards Alexander’s door.
“Does that mean you will let me in?” Cassandra said, close enough to catch a whiff of wet earth and decay.
“And here I thought you came all this way just to see me”, he said but when she reached for the doorknob he did nothing to stop her.
Cassandra nodded her thanks and was about to go in when she saw the pained look on his face, the disgust. He involuntarily tried to cover one of his ears with his shoulder and Cassandra realized that he must be hearing pretty much everything that was going on around him.
“Why don’t you tell your brother?” she said quietly and Sam’s face contorted into a mask of agony and with surprising gentleness, he slid
Cassandra further into the room and closed the door behind her. Nothing to be said, nothing to be done.
Cassandra took a moment to sort herself out before she let the reality of finally being in Alexander’s room again sink in. The smells in there greeted her like an old friend. Even though the room was only dimly lit she had no trouble finding her way around. There was a light in his room and she softly called out his name but there was no answer. Maybe he was asleep after all but when she reached it was clear that he was not.
“Aren’t you a sight to see”, she murmured and Alexander, who had been pretending to read, stretched himself and then lay aside his book, making sure she could see just how much he had changed since the last time they had seen each other.
Cassandra, steadying herself against the doorframe, quickly took in his overall appearance but she was sure that there wasn’t much that she could have missed considering the fact that he was basically wearing nothing but shorts.
Alexander had always been beautiful but now he was almost too much to take in. His skin looked golden, shining with a healthy glow and he had gained at least thirty pounds, most of it muscle on his upper body.
“Red? With polka dots?” she said and could hear that her voice was a little shaky. “Seriously?”
He grinned and shrugged and Cassandra bit her lip when he moved and revealed clear-defined V-shaped muscles.
“How long have you been waiting for this moment?” Cassandra murmured and went closer when he indicated to a spot at his side.
“A while now”, he said. “You gave me enough time to make it impressive.”
Cassandra snatched up a shirt and held it out to him.
“Put this on”, Cassandra said. “I can’t concentrate looking at you like this.”
“You mean when I am half-naked and irresistible”, he said and Cassandra threw the shirt at him.
She immediately regretted it. He had trouble lifting his arm but was too proud to admit it. At first she pretended to be interested in something else but eventually she gave up and crawled closer.
“In Zeus’s name, will you just ask me to help you?” she said and put his shirt over his head. Eventually they managed to get him dressed. Cassandra straightened his hair that had gotten ruffled in the process and suddenly Alexander took her hand and put it to the side of his face.
“I missed you so much”, he whispered.
It would have been so easy. All she had to do was give in to her desire, to his desire, to bend down and kiss him. His eyes told her how much he wanted her, that he would be good to her, that he would never hurt her. All it took for her was to take this last little step, to cover the distance between them and make it all happen. But she knew she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t just a matter of a few inches that separated them and it wasn’t true that he would never hurt her. Suddenly she remembered why she had been so angry, why she had felt so betrayed by him. Alexander, seeing the change in her mood, frowned and let go of her hand.
“I see”, he said quietly, pained. “You still don’t want me. Not while I am broken.”
Something within Cassandra snapped. She edged away, needing to bring some distance between them.
“You were never broken to me”, she said. “It was you who shut me out of your life, not the other way around.”
Alexander first looked surprised, then angry.
“I never shut you out”, Alexander replied heatedly. “It was always you who made the choice not to be together. On New Year’s Eve, on the day of the second of the challenges when you went ice-skating with Ben instead of coming over to me.”
“It was never my intention to hurt you”, Cassandra said and stretched out her hand towards Alexander once more but he shoved her away.
“You will never look at me like that, will you?” he said, his anger and hurt almost tangible.
I just did, Cassandra thought.
“I thought we were friends”, Cassandra said hoarsely, still hoping that they would find a way to make this all good somehow.
“I never wanted to be your friend”, Alexander said, his voice colder and more cutting than Arissa’s had ever been.
Cassandra felt hot tears spring to her eyes and knew it was time to leave.
“I guess there is nothing more to say then”, Cassandra said and felt her insides turn to ice once more.
She made herself get up and go towards the door but when she looked back to see whether there was something, anything in his eyes that told her that he hadn’t meant it, that he didn’t want her to leave, there was nothing.
“Good-bye, Alexander”, she whispered and left.
Alexander watched her leave. The only outward sign of his inner turmoil was the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth. When he heard the door close behind Cassandra, he grabbed a cushion and tore it apart. Then he took a bottle filled with his medicine and threw it against the wall. By the time Sam came in, he had pretty much destroyed everything that was within his reach.
Sam, seeing that Alexander wasn’t hurt, busied himself by kicking away some of the glass shards to give Alexander time to compose himself.
“She has that effect on people”, Sam said and then went to get a bottle from the other side of the room.
He felt sorry for Alexander because he knew how terrible it was when everything was out of your control, when your own body felt like it didn’t belong to you.
He offered Alexander the Ambrosia intermixed with a sleeping potion and Alexander took it.
“You shouldn’t do it for her”, Sam said and helped Alexander get into a more comfortable position.
“I know that you heard what I just said about your brother”, Alexander said.
Sam froze. That was dangerous ground and he didn’t want to do or say anything that might hurt his brother. But thankfully Alexander was already half asleep.
“He is my best friend”, Alexander murmured, his voice slurred by the effects of the sleeping potion. “It’s not his fault that I feel the way I do.”
“My brother is bound to Arissa”, Sam said carefully, listening to Alexander’s breathing getting deeper. “There is nothing he can do to cut that bond. But to you he isn’t bound. He follows you because he believes in you. And he would do anything for you. Anything.”
A golden tear ran from Alexander’s eye but he didn’t reply to that. Just when Sam thought Alexander had fallen asleep, he opened his eyes again and looked at Sam.
“I wish we had a choice”, he said. “But we don’t. Ben is the only person I have ever trusted. I would never hurt him.”
Alexander’s breath became gradually more relaxed and finally he was asleep. Sam looked at the son of Zeus and wasn’t sure what to think of him. He would undoubtedly make for an inspiring, even great leader one day but would he also be a fair one? Only time would tell.
When Sam took up his position outside Alexander’s room again, he thought of his brother who was caught between so many threads of duty and desire that it threatened to choke him. The glowing band on his wrist was a visible reminder of the demonic band that Hera had demanded to be spun for him. The union between Olympus and Hades had to be formed to ensure peace between the kingdoms. He knew that if Ben ever so much as kissed another girl, that girl would die instantly. Hera had made sure of that. She should have taken the same measures with Arissa, Sam thought and extended his teeth, trying his best to shut out the noises coming from Bear’s bedroom.
The most terrible thing about the spell binding Ben and Arissa together was that Ben was entirely at Arissa’s mercy. She was the only one able to break the spell but Sam knew that this would never happen. There was nothing Arissa loved more than power and with Ben, she possessed the ultimate power.
Sam waited until the sun rose and four guards took his place. Then he went to see his brother. Ben needed to know what had happened that night. And even though Cassandra was right when she thought that Ben was indeed more powerful than him, it wasn’t some kind of spell that made him willing to do anything for
his brother. It was the simple fact that Sam loved his brother and was willing to protect him with his life.
When he entered Ben’s chambers, he found him already dressed and showered. He looked haunted, like he hadn’t gotten much sleep. When he asked how Sam’s night had been, Sam didn’t hesitate. He winked at his brother, poured him a glass of water and told him that there had been nothing special about this night. Nothing at all.
21 Changes
The tall figure was standing at the window in broad daylight playing with the magical object called the Pipe. She knew exactly how powerful it was and imagined herself blowing it a hundred times, a thousand times to call here all the creatures, monsters and demons from this earth and beyond. And then she would destroy them, all of them, just because she could.
But she knew it didn’t work like that. She also knew that she shouldn’t lose sight of the bigger picture. There was a plan in motion that would eventually lead to her dominating over them anyway. So maybe it was better if some of them stayed alive. That way she could see them suffer later.
“What is so funny?” the smaller figure asked who was concentrating on moving an object to the right with her mind. Eventually it worked and the curtain closed itself. Startled, the tall figure turned around.
“I told you not to do that”, she snarled.
“I am getting better at it”, the small figure said, satisfied. “You shouldn’t show the object in broad daylight. It might be detected.”
“There is no one strong enough here to detect the Pipe”, the tall figure said but hid the object after some hesitation in the special black box in her desk anyway.
The small figure hummed and slightly shook her head.
“No one but her”, she said and her eyes gleamed with crazy delight.
“Shut up”, the tall figure said. “No one is supposed to know that”.
The Unclaimed (University of the Gods Trilogy Book 1) Page 27
