Raven could only stare at him helplessly, lost in his mesmerizing eyes. Mikhail took her hand, pressed a kiss in the exact center of her palm, slipped her hand beneath his shirt, and held it over his steadily beating heart. “Look beyond my skin, Raven. Look into my heart and soul. Merge your mind with mine, see me for what I am. Know me for who I am.”
Mikhail waited silently. A heartbeat. Two. He saw her sudden determination to know what she had bound herself to, to know just whom it was she had formed an alliance with. Her mind merge was tentative at first, her touch so light and delicate it felt like the brush of butterfly wings. She was cautious, moving through his memories as if she might discover something that would hurt him. He felt the breath leave her body as she saw the gathering darkness. The monster that lived within. The stain on his soul. The deaths and battles he was responsible for. The stark ugliness of his existence before she had come into his life. The loneliness that ate away at him, at all the males of their species, the barren emptiness they endured century after century. She saw his determination never to lose her. His possessiveness, his animal instincts. Everything he was, it was all there laid out for her to see. He hid nothing from her—not the kills he had made, not the ones he had ordered, not his absolute conviction that no one would ever take her from him and live.
Raven pulled out of his mind, her blue eyes steady on his. Mikhail felt the sudden pounding of his heart. There was no condemnation there, only serene calm. “So you see the beast you are tied to for all eternity. We are predators, after all, little one, and the darkness in us is only balanced by the light in our women.”
Her hands crept around his neck, gentle, loving. “How terrible a struggle all of you must have, and you more than most. To have to make so many life-and-death decisions, to sentence friends and even family to be destroyed, must be a burden beyond belief. You are strong, Mikhail, and your people are right to believe in you. The monster you battle daily is part of you, maybe the part that makes you so strong and determined. You see that side of you as evil when in fact it is what gives you your power, the ability and strength to do what you must do for your people.”
Mikhail ducked his head, not wanting her to see the expression in his eyes, what her words meant to him. There was an obstruction in his throat that threatened to choke him. He did not deserve her, would never deserve her. She was unselfish, while he had all but taken her captive and forced her to find a way to live with him.
“Mikhail.” Her voice was soft; she brushed his chin with the softness of her mouth. “I was alone until you came into my life.” Her lips found the corner of his. “No one knew me—not who I was—and people feared me because I knew things about them they could never know of me.” She wrapped her arms around him, comforting him as if he were a child. “Was it really so wrong to want me for yourself, knowing I would end such a terrible existence for you? Do you really believe that you must condemn yourself? I love you. I know that I love you totally and without reservation. I accept who you are.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I cannot control my emotions at this time, Raven. I cannot lose you. You have no conception of what it was like—no daylight, no laughter, centuries of complete loneliness. I know a monster lives in me. The longer one lives, the more powerful he becomes. I fear for Gregori. He has had the weight of hunting the undead for centuries. In the earlier days, we would not see him for a quarter of a century or longer—until his responsibilities as my second in command forced him to stay close. Still, he isolates himself from his own kind. His power is immense, and the darkness in him grows. It is a cold, bleak existence, harsh and unrelenting, and always the monster inside fights for release. You are my salvation. At this time it is all so new to me, and the fear of losing you far too fresh. I don’t know what I would do to any who would try to take you from me.”
Her hand found his, fingers linking them together.
“Noelle gave birth to a son. Eleanor did the same. There are no women to relieve the terrible black void for the men. Gregori suffers the most. He roams the earth, learning its secrets and conducting experiments none of us dare inquire too deeply into. I have never told anyone this, but he has more knowledge and more strength than I do. We have never had reason for conflict—he always comes through in an emergency—but I feel his withdrawal.” Mikhail rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What am I to do? Sooner or later he will make his choice. Either way we will lose him.”
“I don’t understand.”
“There is ultimate power in the taking of life while we feed, and it is so easy, drawing our victims to us. No one can survive darkness and despair for a thousand years. Gregori has lived from the Crusades to men walking on the moon, always fighting the monster inside. The one hope we have for salvation is our lifemate. And if Gregori does not find his lifemate soon, he will seek the dawn or turn rogue. I fear the worst.”
“What is turning rogue?”
“Killing for the pleasure of it, the power, becoming the vampire humans recognize. Using women before feeding, forcing them to become slaves, using human puppets, creating ghouls, the walking dead,” Mikhail answered grimly. He and Gregori had often hunted their own kind and discovered just how depraved a Carpathian turned vampire could be.
“You would have to stop Gregori?” Fear shot through her like a flaming arrow. She was beginning to understand the complexity of Mikhail’s life. “You say he is more powerful.”
“Without a doubt. He has had freedom of movement, and far more experience in hunting and tracking the undead. He has learned so much, participated in life across the earth. His tremendous power is only exceeded by his utter isolation. Gregori is more like a brother than a friend. We have been together since the beginning. I would not wish to fail him or hunt him, nor attempt to pit my strength against his. He has fought numerous battles for me, with me. We have shared blood, healed one another, guarded each other when there was need. And together . . .” He trailed off. “Gregori is as necessary to our people as I am, although many do not understand.”
“What of Jacques?” She already felt affection for the man who was so much like Mikhail.
Mikhail stood up, dumping the water wearily. “My brother is strong and wise and very dangerous given the right circumstances. The blood of the ancients runs strong in him. He travels, studies, is willing to take the responsibility of our people should it become necessary.”
“You carry the burdens of your people on your shoulders.” Her voice was very soft. She caressed his coffee-colored hair with gentle fingers.
Mikhail sat up carefully, regarding her with old, weary eyes. “We are a dying species, little one. I fear I merely slow the inevitable. Two of the known assassins escaped. Two other suspects, Anton Fabrezo and Dieter Hodkins, also left on the train. I sent word throughout the mountains, but they have disappeared. I have heard rumors of an organized group of hunters that has emerged recently in this time period. If these men ever hook up with true scientists, they will become even more dangerous.”
“I know Carpathians are of the earth, and their healing comes from the earth and all its natural powers. But, Mikhail, perhaps your prejudice and contempt for the human race has made you overlook some of its advantages.”
“You persist in thinking me prejudiced. I like many humans.” Mikhail found he couldn’t resist sliding the buttons open on the white silk shirt that covered her bare body. There was something deep within him, a primitive need, that made him want to look at her, to know he could do so whenever he wanted.
She smiled at him, sweeping her hair back in her curiously sexy gesture. The action created a gap in the shirt so that her bare skin beckoned, her full breasts thrust toward him invitingly, then disappeared under a cloud of ebony silk. The sight took his breath away.
“Listen to me, my love,” Raven murmured. “Having a few friends and feeling affection for certain individuals of a race does not remove prejudice. You have lived with your abilities for so long you take them for granted. Because you can con
trol the human mind, and you use them as cattle.”
He gasped, shocked that she could think such a thing. His hand circled her ankle where it was tucked up on the bed. “I have never treated humans like cattle. Many of them are counted among my friends, although Gregori and some of the others think I am crazy. I watch humans grow and wish I could feel the things they feel. No, little one, I do not believe I treat them as cattle.”
She tilted her chin, regarding him steadily with her large sapphire eyes. “Perhaps not like cattle, but I feel what you feel, Mikhail. You can hide this from yourself, but I can see it clearly.” She smiled to soften her words. “I know you don’t want to feel superior, but it is so easy to control us.”
He snorted his disagreement. “I have failed to control you at every turn. You have no idea how often I wanted to force your obedience when you placed yourself in danger. I should have gone with my instincts . . . but no, I allowed you to go back to the inn.”
“Your love for me caused you to pull back.” She reached out to touch his hair. “Isn’t that how it should be between two people? If you really love who I am, and you want me to be happy, then you know I have to do what comes naturally to me, what I feel is right.”
His finger traced down her throat, through the deep valley between her breasts, making her shiver with sudden heat. “That is true, little one, but that is also true of my needs. You can do no other than to make me happy. My happiness is completely dependent on whether or not you are safe.”
Raven couldn’t help smiling. “Somehow I think your devious nature is showing. Perhaps you need to examine human ingenuity. You rely heavily on your gifts, Mikhail, but humans must find other ways. We are uniting two worlds. If we decide to have a child . . .”
He stirred restlessly, his dark eyes glittering.
She caught the imperious Carpathian decree before he could censor his thoughts. You must.
“If we decide someday to have a child,” she persisted, ignoring his authority, “if it is male, he will be raised in both worlds. And if it is a girl, she will be raised with free will and a mind of her own. I mean it, Mikhail. I will never, ever, consent to bringing a child into this world to be a broodmare for one of these men. She will know her own power and choose her own life.”
“Our women make their choices,” he said quietly.
“I’m sure there’s some ritual that ensures that she wants to choose the right man,” Raven guessed. “You will give me your word you will agree to my terms, or I will not bear a child.”
His fingertips brushed her face with exquisite tenderness. “More than anything I want your happiness. I would also want my children to be happy. We have years to decide these things, lifetimes, but yes, when we have learned to balance the two worlds and we know the time is right, I agree absolutely to your terms.”
“You know I’ll hold you to it,” she warned.
He laughed softly, cupping the side of her face in his palm. “As the years go by, your strength and power will grow. You already terrify me, Raven. I do not know if my heart will be able to stand the coming years.”
Fourteen
Raven laughed, the sound like music to him. Mikhail’s hands shaped her breasts, cupping the soft weight in his palms as he bent his head to her offering. His mouth was hot and moist and needy, his teeth scraping back and forth on sensitive skin. His hair brushed against her like tongues licking along her rib cage. At once her arms circled him as she relaxed back against the headboard.
Mikhail stretched out on the bed, his head in her lap. “You are going to turn my well-ordered world upside down, are you not?”
She tunneled her fingers in his hair, enjoying the feel of its silky thickness against the bare skin of her hips and thighs. “I certainly intend to do my best. You people are in a rut. You need to move into this century.”
He could feel his body relaxing, and peace stole into him, edging out the terrible tension. The beauty of her inner soul washed over him. How could he fault her need to reach out to someone in pain, when it was her very compassion that had drawn him out of the dark shadows and into a world of joy and light? He might feel pain and anger, but at least he was capable of feeling. Intense emotion. Joy. Lust. Sexual hunger. Love.
“You are my life, little one. We will ask Father Hummer to marry us in the way of your people.” His white teeth gleamed at her. His dark eyes were warm with contentment. “I will accept the marriage as binding, and you will erase the word divorce and all of its meanings from your memory. That will please me.” He grinned at her, male amusement taunting her.
Her fingertips traced the hard line of his jaw tenderly. “How do you manage to turn everything to your advantage?”
His hand found the bare skin of her satin-smooth thigh, reveling in all that warm heat. “I do not know the answer to that, little one. Perhaps it is sheer talent.” He turned his head and nuzzled aside the tails of his shirt to burrow against her.
A low sound escaped from deep in Raven’s throat as his tongue stroked her. Obligingly, at the urging of hands on her thighs, she widened her legs to accommodate him, to give him room. She tangled her fingers in his thick, coffee-colored hair.
Mikhail delved deeper, drew a shudder of pleasure from her. He could feel the spreading flames in his blood, swift, savage excitement, joy singing in his veins. His arms circled her hips, dragged her closer to him so that he could burrow deeper. He intended to take his time, to give her pleasure. She was his woman, his lifemate, and no one could give her the kind of ecstasy he could. He lost himself in the exquisite taste of her, feeling every shuddering tremor he drew from her, listening to the music of her soft whimpers and keening cries.
Raven heard her own sobbing breath as the world around her faded, the walls of the house dissolved, leaving her with only colors bursting behind her eyes and pure feeling. He was building a ferocious hunger in her, feeding it so that she craved him, could never get enough of him and the way his mouth devoured her, taking her into another realm. A moan escaped her throat as she tried to hold herself still under his assault.
She had to look at him. Right now his beloved face was set with concentrated desire, a deep craving need so that his eyes were as black as night. His tongue slid through her soft folds, and she shuddered, cried out, writhing beneath him. She heard him groan, and when she touched his mind, she knew the sound had been wrenched from him. There was pure pleasure in licking her like a great wolf might his meal. He devoured her, using tongue and teeth until her hips were bucking mindlessly and she pleaded with him, begged him to fill her.
His eyes were wild, his teeth bared as he rose up over her, dragging her hips to him. She should have been afraid, but in spite of his feral look, his hands were gentle, even when his fingers sank deep. And she was desperate for him, for his hard, heavy erection.
She gasped and cried out as she felt lightning arcing through her body, up over her thighs, straight into her center to spread white-hot heat through her belly as he began to stretch her, to fill her. Mikhail slid deeper and deeper into her body, connecting them together, pushing relentlessly through tight folds, a scorching heat that took her breath.
He plunged into her, and sensations tore through her body, so that her head tossed on the pillow and her hips bucked up to meet the powerful thrusts. Her muscles tightened around him, holding him to her, increasing the fiery friction. Her breath came out in a shudder of need, a sob, as he continued to build the tension in her, stretching her out on a rack of pure sensation.
Her fingernails dug into his back as she tried to anchor herself. He didn’t stop, didn’t let her catch her breath, driving her higher than she’d ever been. She felt him moving in her mind, felt his pleasure, felt as if they shared the same skin, every nerve ending alive and sizzling. Her body tightened and she gave a ragged cry, clamping down on him like a vise.
His hoarse shout melted into hers and they soared together, holding each other tight until they settled back to earth. Raven stared up at his face, dr
inking in the strong lines and the way he looked at her with something close to adoration. She smiled at him. “I think you’ve managed to put some kind of spell on me.”
“If I did,” he whispered, “it backfired, and I managed to ensnare myself as well.”
They lay together for a long while, holding one another. Mikhail traced each one of the angry lines along her chest and abdomen and then pressed kisses over them. “These are already fading. Carpathians rarely scar, although these wounds were mortal, and that sometimes is a factor.”
She stroked caresses through his dark silky hair. “I can’t believe I’m alive, let alone that this soon the scars would fade.”
“Had I kept you in the earth even longer, I doubt you would be able to see them.”
She stirred, suddenly tensing. “I don’t want to know about that. The thought of being buried alive is terrifying to me.”
He kissed his way up her body until he found her mouth, kissing her over and over, long drugging kisses that took every frightening thought right out of her head. When he finally lifted his head, his dark eyes searched her face, noting her flushed skin, the slightly glazed look to her eyes, with satisfaction. “We will sleep here in the sleeping chamber where we will be safe. We have lifetimes for you to conquer your fears.”
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