by Al Lacy
Linda’s whole body was shaking. She sniffled, and tears began streaming down her cheeks. She made an effort to say something, but it wouldn’t come out. Finally she broke into heavy sobs.
“Go ahead, honey, cry. Let it out.”
Linda sobbed loudly for a minute or so, then grew quiet and wept softly.
The preacher looked pale as he said, “I’ve got to go out there and make the necessary announcement, but before I go, I want to pray for Linda.”
Stanford laid one hand on Linda’s shoulder and the other on Adrienne’s, and called on the Lord to give comfort to Linda. He asked for God’s loving hand to touch her heart, give her peace, and help her remember that Jesus said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
“And, Lord, please give strength to Nolan and Adrienne. They’re hurting in one way for what their oldest daughter has done to Linda, and in another way because of what Janet has turned out to be. We pray for Janet’s salvation, Lord, and that you will quickly show her how much she needs you in her life. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”
To his wife, Stanford said, “Doris, would you see that the bridesmaids and the rest of the bridal party come into the sanctuary, please? I want everyone to hear me make the announcement.”
The Stanfords moved to the door together, then the preacher turned and said, “Linda, the Lord loves you. Doris and I love you. Your parents and Aunt Beth love you. The people of this church love you.”
The bereaved girl looked at him through a wall of tears and nodded silently.
When the Stanfords stepped out of the room, Doris headed for the door across the hall, and Lloyd made a beeline for his office.
The groomsmen and best man jumped to their feet when the pastor came in, and waited for him to speak.
“Gentlemen,” Stanford said, “the wedding is off.”
“What’s happened to Lewis, Pastor?” asked Frank Simons.
“All of you come out onto the platform with me. You can hear it at the same time I tell it to the people out there.”
The crowd in the sanctuary was buzzing above the sound of the pump organ as Stanford emerged from his office onto the platform with four dismal-looking young men behind him. They halted a few feet behind the flowered white lattice arch as the preacher stepped in front of it.
In the Sunday school room, Linda Forrest found her voice and said, “Mom, Daddy … would you take me home now, please? I don’t want to be here when the people come out of the sanctuary. I don’t want anyone to see me.”
“Sure, honey,” Nolan said. “Let’s go, Adrienne.”
“I’ll stay here,” Beth said. “It’s best that the three of you have some private time together.”
The buzzing trailed off in the sanctuary when Pastor Stanford appeared and moved to the center of the platform. He gave a hand signal for Letha to stop playing the organ. The music stopped abruptly. Stanford waited a few seconds for Doris and the bride’s attendants to enter the sanctuary from the vestibule, noting that Beth Chalmers came in behind them and stood by the open doors. He then ran his solemn gaze over the faces of the crowd.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, the words coming with difficulty past the lump in his throat, “I am sorry to have to make this announcement, but there will be no wedding here today.”
There were gasps, moans, and groans as the people looked around at each other. Then there was a low rumble as everyone began talking at once.
An obviously upset Stanford held up his hand and went on. “I am not at liberty to give you any more information at this time, but I ask the people of this church to hold up Linda Forrest and her parents in prayer. Thank you.”
Having said this much, Stanford pivoted and went to his office, plopping down in his chair. “Lord, help that dear girl,” he said in a low voice.
There was a tap on the door.
“Come in.”
The groomsmen and best man entered. “Pastor,” Frank Simons said, “shouldn’t we, as members of the wedding party, be told what has happened?”
“Oh … of course,” said the preacher. “I’m sorry. You certainly have a right to know. To put it as plain and simple as I can, Lewis and Janet ran away together. They were seen about an hour before the wedding, boarding a train for New York City. Ed and Frances Diamond saw them.”
At the Forrest home, Nolan paced the floor outside Linda’s bedroom.
She was in a state of shock and only stared into space while Adrienne worked at removing the wedding dress from her rigid body.
When the dress was finally off, the heavyhearted mother said, “Here, honey, sit down on the bed. I’ll be right back.”
Adrienne picked up the veil from the dresser and took it with the dress to the door. When she opened it, her pacing husband stopped and looked at her expectantly. “Not yet,” she told him. Extending the dress and veil, she said, “Would you hang these up in our closet, please? If I put them in her closet, they’ll be there for a reminder. She doesn’t need that.”
“All right,” Nolan said.
“I’ll put a robe on her and then you can come in.”
He nodded and started down the hall.
Adrienne closed the bedroom door and headed for the closet. Linda watched her mother’s movements with languid eyes.
Returning from the closet with a soft white robe, Adrienne said, “Here you go, honey. Lets get this on you. Your daddy wants to be in here with us.”
When the robe was on and buttoned up, Adrienne said, “Lie down on the bed, sweetheart.”
A strange expression flitted across Linda’s face. She sucked in a shallow breath, let it out raggedly, and said, “I want to die.”
Adrienne’s eyes widened. “Linda, I know you’re terribly upset, but you don’t want to die! Jesus loves you. He’s going to see you through this horror you’re facing right now.”
“If … if I died, I would go to heaven and be with Jesus. Then I wouldn’t have all this hurt inside me. He would hold me in His arms and I would never feel like this again.”
Adrienne bit her lower lip. “Linda, Jesus can take away your hurt while you’re still here on earth. Come on. Lie down.”
When Linda lay in the center of her bed, Adrienne said, “I’m going to bring Daddy in. Please, honey. No more of this talk about wanting to die.”
Moments later the parents eased down on either side of the bed, and each took one of Linda’s hands in their own.
The horrible trauma brought on by Lewis and Janet’s betrayal filled Linda’s mind. In the brief time since it happened, it had become part of her—like her pulse, like the steady beat of her heart. The agony showed on her mottled face and in her puffy eyes.
Nolan and Adrienne’s hearts ached for their sweet Christian daughter. Compared to the emotional pain they had suffered because of Janet’s rebellion, this was far worse. Linda had shown only love to Janet, and had trusted Lewis, promising to be his wife. To see her suffer like this was overwhelming. Linda didn’t deserve to have her heart crushed.
“I love you, sweetheart,” Nolan said, looking into his daughter’s listless eyes.
She met his gaze weakly and nodded.
Adrienne looked across the bed to her husband. “Oh, Nolan, how could Janet cause this pain to her own sister? What kind of child did we raise, who could have such a callous, evil streak in her?”
“Its a mystery to me,” he said, shaking his head. “We raised them both exactly the same way. Janet was exposed to as much gospel and Bible truth as Linda was.”
“I know. I just don’t understand it. Janet made a profession of faith in the Lord when she was seven.”
“Yes, and you remember how we talked with Janet when she claimed to be saved but had no desire for spiritual things.”
Adrienne nodded. “And she swore she was saved. What else could we do? We couldn’t ram salvation down her throat.”
“And she’s quite obviously been running from God ever since she left this house to live on her own. And then there�
��s Lewis,” Nolan said with a note of disgust in his voice. “How—”
His words were interrupted by a knock at the front door.
“I’ll get it,” he said, letting go of Linda’s limp hand. “You stay with her, dear.”
While Nolan was gone, Linda looked up at Adrienne and said, “Mom, I want to die.”
“Linda, please don’t talk this way. You’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. The Lord has someone else for you to marry.”
“No. My life is nothing now.”
“Honey, listen. Right now, the full impact of this terrible thing is on you. This is the worst part. It’s totally understandable why you feel like you do. But believe me, it will get better as time passes.”
“I’d rather be in heaven, Mom. I don’t like this wicked old world, with all its heartache and pain.”
Voices came from the hallway, punctuated by footsteps.
“Please, Linda,” Adrienne said, “don’t talk about wanting to die. Everything will work out. The Lord has a plan for your life.”
Pastor and Mrs. Lloyd Stanford and Beth Chalmers followed Nolan into Linda’s room. She watched them impassively.
Beth forged ahead of Nolan and touched Linda’s hand. “Hello, sweetheart. Are you doing any better?”
Linda’s eyes softened. She loved her Aunt Beth. “I … I don’t think so.”
Beth forced a smile. “Well, it’ll all work out for the best. God’s Word says so.”
Linda held her gaze but said nothing more.
The Stanfords drew up beside Adrienne. Doris leaned down and said, “I know you’re hurting something terrible, Linda. I can’t say I know how you feel, because I’ve never been through what you’re experiencing. But I know you’re hurting more than you ever have in your life. Pastor and I have come to tell you we love you, and to see if there’s anything we can do to help.”
The preacher leaned close and said, “Linda, Jesus knows you’re hurting. He loves you more than anyone else in this room does. He is God, and God is love. His capacity to love is greater than ours. Let Him speak to your heart and comfort you through His sweet Holy Spirit.”
Linda nodded but didn’t respond.
“Honey,” Nolan said, “Pastor and I were talking at the church. He said something that made good sense in the face of all this, and I’d like for him to tell it to you.”
Stanford looked at Nolan. “You mean about if the Lord had let her marry Lewis?”
“Yes.”
The preacher leaned close to Linda again. “God knew all along that Lewis was playing the hypocrite, and that by allowing Lewis to run off with Janet, the Lord was keeping you from marrying him. If you had married Lewis, and then he had run off with Janet, your devastation would have been that much worse. A marriage would have been broken.”
“That’s a good way to look at it, Pastor,” Adrienne said. “It would have been even worse if they had brought children into the world, then Lewis had run off.”
Beth squeezed Linda’s hand. “So you see, honey, it could have been much worse if the Lord hadn’t let this thing happen when He did. Can you understand that?”
Linda closed her eyes and set her jaw. She strained every muscle in her body until she was as stiff as granite. Then she said calmly, “I want to die.”
4
PASTOR STANFORD BLINKED AT LINDA’S WORDS and then glanced at her parents.
Nolan looked stunned.
Adrienne gripped her daughters hand and said to the others, “She already said this to me twice when we were alone.”
Nolan dropped to one knee beside the bed and laid a hand on Linda’s shoulder. “Honey, you mustn’t talk like that. I know everything looks bleak right now, but it’ll get better.”
Linda held her gaze on her father’s face for a few seconds, then ran her eyes to each person. Looking back at Nolan, she said, “I am so utterly shattered and embarrassed by this. I’ve heard people joke about a bride being ‘left at the altar,’ but I can’t believe it has really happened to me. I’ll never be able to face anybody who was at the wedding. I could never look them in the eye.”
Doris said, “Linda, with prayer and the passing of time, you will get over it. Besides, none of this is your fault. Lewis and Janet are the ones to blame. You must look at it this way and go on with your life.”
Linda shook her head. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Mrs. Stanford. And all of you, for that matter. But something inside me—“She teared up and her lips quivered. “Something inside me went dead when I heard what Lewis and Janet had done. I won’t get over it. Ever. I never want to see anybody in the church again. I don’t want to face our neighbors or anybody else who—“She choked on her tears and cleared her throat. “I don’t want to face anybody who knows about this. I … I want to die.”
She broke into uncontrollable sobs.
Linda’s parents held her and talked in low tones, trying to make her see the bright side, as Pastor Stanford had pointed out. She only sobbed all the more, wailing that there was no bright side. Her life had been destroyed by the man she had loved and trusted … and by her wicked, heartless sister.
After a while, the emotional upheaval in Linda subsided, and she quieted down to sniffling and shuddering breaths.
Beth spoke up. “Linda, dear, I’m afraid your Aunt Beth owes you an apology.”
All eyes turned to Beth.
Linda squinted, shook her head, and said, “Why do you owe me an apology, sweet aunt?”
Beth cleared her throat. “Well, I guess I should have said something to you before now.”
“About what?”
“Lewis and Janet.”
Linda frowned, and the others fixed Beth with inquisitive eyes.
Beth cleared her throat again. “Twice recently, within the past month or so, I saw Lewis and Janet together downtown. They didn’t see me either time, so they didn’t know I had observed them. Once they were in McIntosh’s Department Store, looking at women’s clothing. The other time … about a week later, they were standing together at the corner of First and Main. They were laughing about something.”
Linda’s lips began to quiver.
“Honey, I couldn’t believe there was anything to it. I wondered why Lewis would even keep company with Janet, but I still thought he was a fine Christian man and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Rather than upset you, I kept it to myself. Now I see I was wrong not to realize what was going on. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
Linda pressed fingertips to her lips, closed her eyes, and said in a dead tone, “There’s nothing to forgive you for, Aunt Beth. I was as trusting of Lewis as you were. For all you knew, they had simply run into each other those two times you saw them downtown.”
Turning her eyes to her parents, Linda said in the same lifeless voice, “Mom … Daddy … how could Lewis want Janet instead of me?”
Nolan and Adrienne shook their heads but didn’t know what to say.
“Lewis gave me such a convincing line, with all the talk about wanting a Christian home like his had been, and like ours is. It was all a lie. Why? Why did he deceive me?” Her voice grew louder. “Why all the lies … lies … lies?” Again she started sobbing and wailed, “Oh, I wish I could die! I wish I could die!”
After a few minutes, she gained control of herself and said, “I appreciate your trying to help me, Mom and Dad. And Aunt Beth, too. And Pastor and Doris. Thank all of you for caring. But I need to be alone for a while.”
“All right, honey,” Adrienne said. “We understand. But Daddy and I want just a few more minutes with you first. Okay?”
Linda nodded.
“We’ll let ourselves out,” said the pastor. “Doris and I will come by tomorrow to see how she’s doing.”
“I need to get home,” said Beth. “I’ll come by tomorrow, too.”
When Nolan and Adrienne were alone with Linda, Adrienne said, “Honey, your daddy and I are very concerned that you keep saying you want to die. You mustn’t feel t
hat way. You have plenty to live for. Please don’t even think like that.”
Linda was weeping silently, her hands covering her eyes.
Nolan looked at his wife and said meaningfully, “Adrienne, I think I should go get Dr. Kurtz. He can give her a sedative to calm her and help her to sleep.”
“No! Please, Daddy. I don’t want our family doctor to know about this. I’ll be all right. Please.”
Adrienne laid a hand on her husbands arm. “It might do her more harm than good if she has to face Dr. Kurtz in her present state of mind.”
Nolan studied on it a moment. “All right. You may be right, dear.”
To Linda, Adrienne said, “Daddy and I will give you a little time alone, honey. We haven’t had anything to eat in several hours. I’ll go fix something for the three of us.”
“I’m not hungry, Mom.”
“Well, maybe you will be by the time I get it ready. You just lie there and talk to Jesus. He can help you better than any of us.”
When her parents had gone, Linda shut her eyes and said, “Lord Jesus, why did this have to happen? Why was Lewis such a hypocrite and a liar? Why would my own sister do this to me? Why?”
Linda was unaware of how long it had been since her parents had left the room, but it seemed like only a few minutes had passed when the door opened again and her mother came in, carrying a tray.
“I’ve made some of your favorite tea, honey,” Adrienne said. “And here’s some toast for you. Come on. Sit up. You feel any hunger now?”
“No.”
“Well, you need nourishment anyhow. Lets see what you can do with this.”
Linda rose to a sitting position and leaned back against the head of the bed. She eyed the steaming cup of tea and the buttered toast. “I’ll try, Mom, but right now my stomach is in knots.”
“Well, let’s see what you can get down.”
Linda took a few sips of the tea and nibbled at a corner of the toast as Adrienne looked on. Finally she said, “That’s all I want, Mom. Thank you.
Worry etched itself on Adrienne’s face. “A little more tea would help you to sleep.”
