by Beth Flynn
He looked at me then, and I saw something in his eyes that saddened me.
“No, it’s not Gin. Not all of it. I can’t compete with Grizz. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, wondering if he’ll show up again. I’m glad he left a way for you to contact him if you needed to. I just can’t live like this anymore. I’m refusing to live like this anymore.”
“I’m not stupid, Tommy. I know you just tested me back there, and I know I passed. Why are you doing this? Our future is finally here, right now. All the years you waited to be with me. The last fifteen years of our marriage, a good marriage, and it comes down to this?”
“If he’s alive, you need to make a choice.” The resolve in his voice was firm.
“I have made a choice, Tommy. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere. Did you not hear me? The bandana is in a landfill.”
“But you did go somewhere, Gin. After you talked to the nuns, you stopped on your way home. You stopped where Grizz’s real parents were born. You’re still searching. For what? Why?”
I swiped my hand through my hair as his accusation and question sunk in.
“I stopped there for you and Mimi. Grizz’s roots are Mimi’s roots, Tommy. And up until ten minutes ago, I was still under the impression that you were his son. They would’ve been your roots, too.”
“And after everything we’ve been through, you’re ready to connect Mimi back to Grizz’s family? Don’t you realize, Ginny, that it’s not going away? It’ll never go away. You need to see Grizz and confront your feelings once and for all. I don’t like it. And you’re right. It’s going against everything that I’ve fought for, but all of a sudden, I’m tired. Ginny. I’m really tired.”
I just stared at him. I wasn’t sure how to react.
I was angry because I felt like he’d tricked me, but at the same time, I knew he was being sincere. And worse yet, I knew he was justified.
My shoulders slumped, then something else struck me.
“So I guess you don’t believe the story he told you. I mean, if he comes to me, then I guess there isn’t any threat to his life. My life. That’s all nonsense?”
“I didn’t say that. I believe the threat was real. But not anymore. If he’s still alive, it’s because they don’t give a shit, Gin. If I believed there was still a plausible threat from them, no matter how small, I wouldn’t be telling you to put on that bandana. I wouldn’t have told you any of this. Besides, he won’t be able to just roll up and knock on our door. He still needs to live off the grid. He wouldn’t risk being seen or recognized by someone who may remember him.”
I crossed my arms. “So if I decide I want to be with Grizz, how does that work? I ride away into the sunset, leaving you and my children?” I stomped my foot in the sand. “It sounds ludicrous, and it’s not even a decision to be made, Tommy. I am your wife. Your wife.”
I poked him in the chest. He didn’t flinch.
“Seeing Grizz isn’t going to make me change my mind,” I added.
He softly grabbed both of my shoulders and what he said sent a chill up my spine. I knew it was painful for him, but I also knew he was serious.
“If it ever comes to that, I promise you we’ll figure out a way to make it work. I don’t know how. Don’t ask me details, because believe me, it’s not something I let myself think about.”
I roughly shoved him away and spun around to head back to our hotel.
Instead of making love in our romantic hotel room that overlooked the ocean, we spent the rest of our night talking. We canceled our dinner reservations and opted to have room service. The hotel served a quality meal, but it might as well have been cardboard.
We put the bandana conversation on the backburner as Tommy told me more details about his meeting with his grandmother. Apparently, she’d mistaken him for someone else. Her mind, clouded by years of alcohol, thought she was being visited by someone from her past.
“Apparently, I’m the spitting image of David Enman,” Tommy told me. “Or rather, what David would’ve looked like if he’d lived longer.”
I shook my head, not recognizing the name.
“He was Donald Enman’s brother,” Tommy said. “Donald Enman was Red, the guy I told you about that Grizz met at the motel. Red was Candy’s godfather—and, I suspect, my father.”
“Why do you suspect that? Maybe your father is David, Red’s brother. That’s who she thought you were.”
Tommy explained how his grandmother knew both Donald and David Enman, and that David had died years before Candy got pregnant.
“Candy’s mother, my grandmother, grew up with the Enman brothers. Red was responsible for introducing her to Candy’s father, Tom, the man I was named after. She knew Donald and David Enman long before Tom even came into the picture.” He stared at the wall over my shoulder and sighed.
“It makes sense now, Gin. What Grizz told me. How Red was obsessed with getting Candy off the street. How he had her practically held captive in Grizz’s little apartment above the garages. I remember Grizz specifically telling me Red stayed there with her when Grizz and Anthony couldn’t. I think he was raping her, Ginny. I think it had probably been happening long before her teens. I think that’s why she turned to prostitution and drugs. To get away from him. I get creeped out when I think about how Grizz must’ve come up with her nickname.”
“Tell me. How did he come up with Candy?” My stomach roiled.
“Grizz told me Red kept a bag of candy behind his bar because my mother, then Stacy Ann, loved candy. Makes the hair on my neck stand up thinking about predators and how they use sweets to bait kids. I wonder if he’d been doing the same thing to my Aunt Karen. Might explain why she was so miserable, too.”
“Oh, Tommy. Grizz knew what Red was doing to your mother?”
“No. I don’t think he knew at all, Gin. I really think Grizz thought I was his kid. He would never have known Red’s brother, so he wouldn’t have seen the similarities or made the connection like my grandmother did. Of course, I can’t prove any of it. I suppose I could find out where Red is buried and have him exhumed, see if there’s any usable DNA, but no. I have my proof. I think I’m done.”
All of a sudden, I’d felt the weight of the world that had rested on my husband’s shoulders and knew why he felt so tired. I did my best to console him.
I spent the rest of our mini vacation trying to talk him out of the ridiculous plan to summon Grizz. He was still insistent. But we also didn’t stop on the way home to buy a bandana. I was relieved.
**********
A week passed, and we fell back into our routine with our life and our children. I secretly hoped I’d dreamed the whole bandana nonsense. It hadn’t been mentioned since that day at the beach, and I was certain Tommy’s suggestion had only been brought on by the emotions of finding out about his real father.
Of course, I’d told him that night at the hotel that he was grabbing at straws based on an old woman’s memories. He’d quietly reached for his wallet and pulled out a picture. My jaw dropped as I saw the truth. I was staring at a picture of an eighteen-year-old David Enman, and it could’ve been Tommy.
But by now, I thought everything was back to normal. I’d tucked what I’d found out about Grizz and his family into a corner of my mind, telling myself that if I ever decided to share it with Mimi, I wouldn’t do it now and definitely wouldn’t do it without Tommy.
I was in the laundry room folding clothes. Jason had a basketball game coming up, and all his uniforms were dirty. I heard Tommy come in through the garage, I could hear his briefcase as it made its familiar thunk on the bench. I was smiling to myself when he came up behind me and kissed my neck.
“Dinner smells good.”
“It’s your favorite,” I said, leaning back into him.
“I’m going upstairs to change my clothes. I’ll be back down in a few.”
I turned to face him and stared into his eyes. My smile faded as I saw an expression that made me unea
sy.
Without breaking from my gaze, he felt around for my hand and tucked something into it, slowly closing my fingers around it. He turned around and headed out of the laundry room. I could hear him walking up the stairs toward our bedroom.
I looked down and saw what he’d placed in my hand.
A blue bandana.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Tommy
2001, Fort Lauderdale
“I think you are being ridiculous, but you know what? If it’s so important to you, if it’s what I need to do to prove I’m over him, then I’ll do it. But let me make it clear, Tommy. I’m not doing this for me. I know my heart. I’m doing it for you.”
Ginny had done as promised and put her hair in a high ponytail, wrapping the blue bandana around it, and wore it that way throughout Jason’s basketball game.
Tommy noticed Carter’s discreet trip to the ladies’ room.
It was done. No going back now.
To a casual observer, Tommy and Ginny appeared to be the epitome of happiness. Only Tommy sensed the undercurrent of her attitude. She was upset with him, and he couldn’t blame her.
Ginny had said very little to him since the game that afternoon. He’d trudged up the stairs that night alone and after waiting up for her until after midnight, finally decided to turn the light off and try to get some sleep. She’d told him she was going to watch TV in the den and would be up shortly. She was either still upset or had fallen asleep.
He was awakened by his cell phone buzzing on his nightstand. He looked at the clock. 6:45 a.m. He picked up his phone, and not recognizing the number, answered it. It could’ve been one of the kids from the shelter where he volunteered.
“Yeah?” he mumbled.
He looked to his left and realized Ginny had never come to bed.
“It’s Blue. I need to talk to you. I’ve heard something on the street. Don’t know how much truth there is to it, but I want you to know what I heard.”
“What is this about?” Tommy was fully awake now.
“It’s something I heard about your daughter. About Mimi.”
“Tell me.” Tommy sat straight up. “What is it? Is she in danger?”
“No. She’s not in danger. At least not anymore. It’s been a few months, but I need to know if you want anything done about it. I don’t want to go into it on the phone, and I’m trying to stay away from this type of shit, but I think this is important. Can you meet me?”
“Yeah. I’ll meet you. I was going into the office today for a few hours, but I’ll meet you first.”
Tommy was already out of bed and heading for the shower.
“Do me a favor. Don’t bring Ginny. I don’t think this is something she’ll want to know.”
Then it’s a damn good thing she wasn’t lying next to me. Tommy hung up. How would he have explained an early morning call from Blue? Blue should’ve known better.
Less than twenty minutes later, Tommy headed downstairs. He found Ginny asleep in the den. The TV was still on.
“Gin. Gin, wake up.” He gently shook her.
She groaned and opened her eyes.
“Uh, I guess I fell asleep. I meant to come up. I—”
“I can see that. You’re still in your clothes,” he told her.
“You look like you’re ready to go somewhere.” Her brows knitted together. It was Saturday, wasn’t it?
“I forgot to tell you I need to meet with Phil and Brody. I need to go over some plans they’re working on for a new client who’s coming in on Monday. Do you want to meet me for lunch somewhere? Bring the kids with you? Jason doesn’t have any games today. Maybe we can take them to a movie matinee afterward. That is, if you think you can find something everybody wants to see.”
He was surprisingly calm and his emotions were steady.
“Yeah,” she said in a groggy voice, sitting up. “Yeah, that sounds good. Even if we can’t agree on a movie, they have to eat.”
She rubbed at her eyes and stifled a yawn. “I smell coffee.”
He kissed her forehead. “I just turned the pot on for you. It’s still brewing. I’ll grab some on my way to work. Call me about noon. We’ll make a plan.”
At 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, the streets of South Florida were already alive and busy. His meeting with Blue wouldn’t take him too far off his regular route to work. He pulled into a convenience store that also had gas pumps.
He left the nozzle running as he headed inside to grab a coffee to-go. He’d said good morning to the clerk behind the counter and headed toward the rear where he saw a coffee station. The clerk glanced up from the newspaper he was reading and grunted. Tommy was the only one inside the store and had just made his coffee when he realized there was something sticky on the handle of the carafe he used to pour the cream. Dammit. He left his cup on the coffee station and headed for the restroom to use the sink.
The moment he exited the men’s room, he felt the tension in the air. The atmosphere had changed. He felt uneasy. Quietly, he made his way through the aisles. He could see his car at the gas pumps. He didn’t see any other cars in front of the store.
“Keep your hands above the counter! Just give me the money. Put it in here.”
A robbery. Tommy could hear the criminal’s hand hit the counter hard as he slammed down what must’ve been a bag.
“If you try and reach for anything below the counter, I’ll put a bullet in your head. Got that?”
Tommy ducked low as he surveyed the store. He reached for his cell phone and remembered he’d left it in the console of his car. Fuck. He raised his head slightly to see above the shelves. The thug was now waving the gun around. The nervous clerk was doing as he was told, but Tommy could tell he was shaking. Should he intervene? Should he stay put?
He glanced out the front window then. Another car had pulled up, and an elderly man was leaning against his car as his tank was being filled. He more than likely paid with a credit card and wouldn’t be walking into the store. Good.
“You purposely dropped it, motherfucker!”
“No. No, I didn’t drop it on purpose.” The clerk’s voice was desperate. “You’re scaring me waving that thing around. It could go off.”
“Yeah, well, it’s going to go off now.”
In two swift movements, the thief shot the clerk in the face and jumped over the counter to retrieve the bag of dropped money.
Time seemed to stand still. As if in slow motion, Tommy saw the man climb back over the counter. He had a plastic grocery bag, and Tommy could see through the thin sack that there was money in it. Tommy hadn’t realized it, but he’d been slowly inching closer down the aisle toward the cash register. He could make one quick lunge from behind and knock the thief to the ground. Or he could let him leave and not take any risk.
Tommy and the man spotted her at the same time. A young woman approaching the door. The criminal started to raise his gun. He was going to shoot her when she came inside.
Tommy didn’t have to make a decision. It had been made for him.
He started to leap at the man from behind, but something must have caught the guy’s attention because he turned just in time to avoid Tommy’s grasp. The gun went off, and Tommy felt a quick stab of pain in his stomach.
They were wrestling for the gun now. A split second seemed to play out over the course of an eternity.
Even in the midst of the trauma, a Scripture verse came to Tommy’s mind.
“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”
What an odd Scripture to remember at a moment like this, but it was exactly what he was feeling. In this case, a few seconds seemed to slow down and stretch out. As they wrestled for the gun, time ground to a halt. His mind was cluttered with thoughts trying to grapple for his attention, yet they all came to him in a proper and succinct order.
How odd that he hadn’t heard from Blue in ages and yet, on the morning they were supposed to meet, Tommy had come upon a robbery. Was t
his a setup? Was he the actual target?
He could answer it as quickly as he thought it. No. He had randomly selected this store. If he’d stayed in the restroom longer, the perpetrator might’ve been gone before he came out. The criminal hadn’t been looking for Tommy, had just been heading for the exit.
He looked into the face of the man and stared into dull blue eyes that hadn’t seen sleep in days. Eyes that were looking for their next fix. There was fear mixed with anger and hopelessness in those eyes. He was probably not even twenty. Had he killed before? Did he have a family? Did his parents know what their son was doing?
Even with all of these things racing through his mind, Tommy managed to glance at the door. He saw the girl come in. He saw the recognition and fear of what was happening on her face, watched as she turned around and ran, arms flailing frantically as she headed toward another motorist who’d just pulled up.
He looked back into the eyes of the man who’d gambled his entire life away with one bad decision.
Tommy felt the gun loosen from the man’s grip, but not before it went off a second time. As he fell to the ground, another bullet lodged in his chest.
The gun now tightly in his own grip, Tommy’s last conscious thoughts were of her.
“Ginny. Ginny. Please forgive me,” he whispered.
And then his world went black.
**********
Ginny stared at her reflection in the bathroom vanity.
After Tommy had woken her up, she’d made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She took her cup back into the den, sat down.
Sipping her coffee, she’d quietly reflected on the last two weeks. The visit with Sister Mary Katherine and Sister Agnes. The detour on her way home that brought her to the place where she thought she might find some of Grizz’s relatives. Could the elderly nun’s memories and Ginny’s suspicions be confirmed?
She’d been surprised by what she’d found there. A tight-knit community of people who had roots going back before the Civil War. She was quickly directed to the local historian, and he was more than happy to spend the morning with her sharing local legends, myths, and memories. He was also able to share some facts. He knew exactly who Ginny was asking about. As a matter of fact, he had a surprise for Ginny.
