by Abby Gale
I closed my eyes in frustration, tried to calm my breaths, but it only intensified the effect of the voices on my body.
How the fuck could I be aroused in the situation I was in?
Was I losing my mind?
Or had I already lost it?
*****
I didn’t know how many hours passed, but I was still watching the ceiling as the moans and screams continued to fill my room. My body was hornier than ever and I couldn’t stop the movement of my hips. The tension in my body was almost painful. The throbbing between my legs was uncomfortable. My nipples were harder, more sensitive than I had ever remembered them being.
I tried to circle my hips in hopes of creating some kind of friction, but it did nothing to help.
Biting my lips I tried to fight this urge, this need.
But I wanted a release.
I needed it like my next breath.
But it never came.
MIKE –Age 13
“Ahhh, fuck!”
Rolling my eyes I groan at the same voices I got accustomed to. This is what happens when your mother is a prostitute. Now, she doesn’t have Johns like she used to, but her Theo was enough to give me a headache. They are good for each other, though –a prostitute and an asshole, such a romantic fairytale.
“Yes, take it down your throat. Take it all, bitch,” Theo shouts. I hear the gurgling noises, I know they’re coming from my mom. The thought should disgust me and it does, but also, in a twisted way, it was making me hard. For years I have grown up hearing these voices. I have grown up with sex. I learned about it so much earlier than I should have. I remember the nights I tried to drown those voices under my pillow, but with each passing day my body started to react to it. With teenage hormones I couldn’t help but get hard. I’ve tried to fight the urge to masturbate to it, but no matter how much I tried I ended up jacking off to the voices.
This time I don’t even bother fighting the urge. I sit up, grabbing a sock from the floor and don’t even feel like I’m doing something wrong.
This is my reality, my life, my normality.
*****
I sit up on the couch in panic. Something wakes me up and soon I realize what it was –my mom is screaming in pain. This scream is different than her sex-scream.
I get up from the couch, running toward her room. I don’t care what situation I will see her in or if it will be end up a big misunderstanding in my part, I have to go and see that she is okay.
I try to open the door, but it is locked. I bang it with my fists.
“Go away, you son of a bitch!” I hear Theo shout at me, but I keep knocking on the door, harder and harder.
“No!” my mom shouts again. Her cry twists my gut and I try to break the door, but it doesn’t budge. Then I hear some muffled sounds from the other side of the door and he yanks it open, as naked as the day he was born.
“Mom!” I try to run toward her, but he stops me.
“You want to watch? Look, whore, the bastard wants to watch the show,” he laughs with sick humor and my mom laughs along with him. Her laugh is hysterical, but it’s enough to let me know that she is okay.
Theo grabs me by my neck and arm, pushing me back till my back hits the wall with a loud thud. Then, he pushes me down to the chair that is next to me. I try to kick him, but he is stronger than me. I know his tall and muscled body is the product of street fights not some fancy gyms.
“Give me that rope, Nat!” he yells at her.
I struggle, try to kick and punch him, but my attempts don’t make any damage on him; his grip on me doesn’t loosen a bit. He puts his knee on my legs, immobilizing me as he ties my hands on my back together.
“Let me go, you asshole! Get your filthy hands off of me!” I yell and struggle to free myself.
“Filthy hands? My hands were all over your mommy,” he laughs. He shakes his fingers in front of my face. “These fingers were inside her overused pussy.”
I rock back and forth, trying to make the chair move in hope of making him lose his balance. But that doesn’t work. Even though I am bigger and stronger than most of the boys at school my strength can’t even stand a chance against him as he ties my legs. After locking the door, he turns to me. “If you cause any trouble she’ll pay the price, got it?” he says, narrowing his eyes at me.
If it was another man I would respond with a cocky remark as he threatens me, completely naked, his semi-hard cock is in front of my eyes. But the ugly knife marks all over his body from his previous fights puts me in defensive mode all the time.
I’m not gonna lie, I am scared of him and what he is capable of, especially to my mother. So I nod my head, hoping that he’ll let me go.
“Good. Now, watch as I fuck your mother,” he laughs. “Get on your knees, slut. Show your son how greedy you are to get my cock down your throat,” he says to my mother, pushing her to her knees in front of him.
I close my eyes; the scene in front of me disgusts me. I try not to look at my mother’s nakedness, but she doesn’t even seem to mind or maybe she is too wasted to care.
“Open your eyes, you son of a bitch!” he growls.
I open my eyes, trying to look anywhere but them. Nothing stops the sounds, though.
“Watch, motherfucker! Watch how wet she is, how she fingers herself in front of you, in front of her son,” he half-laughs half-growls. I try not to look, but my eyes travel down without my permission. I am curious about sex. No matter how much I hear about it, I am learning all these new things and I cannot help but be fascinated by it. I hate myself for not trying harder, but as her fingers move rapidly between her legs I can’t take my eyes off no matter how hard I try.
“He’s not my son,” my mom purrs. Her voice is raspy but seductive at the same time. Her eyes are half-closed and I know she is under the spell of drugs. Her words don’t affect me anymore because I know she is always wasted. I have no one else but her and no matter how much I hate her behavior I also love her or at least try to.
“I don’t fucking care about your family business, bitch. Make me come,” he growls, lifting her to the bed as easily as if she is a ragdoll. She is on all fours and he fucks her from behind. The fact that I cannot see her face is a relief, but it also makes everything worse. I don’t want to be aroused, but all I can see is two people fucking, in front of me, like a live porn show.
And damn, I am just a horny teenager! The sounds cause my abs to clench with anticipation, make my cock hard with each passing second.
I try to think of something that would help me calm down, but as he slaps her ass, pounds into her with force, making her scream with pleasure there is nothing else I can focus on.
“Yes! God, Theo… more,” she moans.
I bite my tongue till I taste blood, but it helps me to breathe a little.
“This pussy is the best thing you have,” Theo groans, spanking her ass once more before he comes with a grunt.
I wait there as they try to get their breathing under control and I try to calm mine. But I still have a boner when he comes toward me. He looks at me with a devious smirk on his face and it turns to full laugh when he notices my hard-on.
“You son of a bitch, I knew you would enjoy this. Sick bastard,” he laughs, patting my back like I did something good, something that needs to be praised.
I keep biting my tongue, focusing on the pain and the metallic taste of blood as he unties my hands and legs. I run with all my strength the moment I’m freed. I stop only when I reach to the woods.
And I jack off to the image of him fucking my mother.
I come with so much intensity I fall to the ground.
And I vomit… I vomit with the disgust I feel toward him, toward her, but mostly to myself.
January 29, 2014–Day 13
The last four days were close to hell. I was edgy, agitated, horny, and disgusted with myself that I was feeling all these things. But I passed the point of caring. I didn’t want to spend another day on my bed listening to people
who fucked each other and had screaming orgasms. I wanted it for myself. I didn’t care if I had to beg Mike for it. I had to be fucked, I had to have some sort of relief, some sort of pleasure or I was going crazy. I was about to lose my fucking mind because of the tension and throbbing all over my body.
The voices stopped and I knew he was coming to my room. He had never made me listen to those voices when he was about to come to my room. That was the only break I got from constant moans, screams, grunts, and sound of slapping skin.
I waited for him to come. The anticipation was buzzing through my body, making goosebumps break out on my skin. I became wetter with each passing second till he came into my room.
Finally, the door opened and he showed up in his usual manner, “Good morning, Cupcake. Slept well?”
I didn’t reply or acknowledge him, but I was cheering inside. I knew this wasn’t a normal reaction. I knew I shouldn’t have wanted him to fuck me, but I passed being normal days ago.
“Won’t you talk to me today, Angel?” he chuckled.
I didn’t give him any answer, again, but thankfully he knew the reason for my frustration by the look on his face and he was playful enough at discovering it. He came closer to the bed, started to untie my hands and my ankles. For a few moments I had to stay still because of the tautness in my muscles. He leaned into me, bringing his hands to my shoulders to massage them.
Closing my eyes, I moaned loudly at his touch. I was so wound up even a single touch was enough to make me cum, but I wasn’t willing to settle for less than a proper fucking after days of agony.
“I love it when you make those sounds,” he told me. His voice was huskier than usual.
The arousal I felt was making me braver. I sat up, slowly reaching out to touch him on the growing bulge at my eye level. “Then make me do more of them,” I dared.
He didn’t protest me touching him and with the hardness of him under my hand I couldn’t help but lick my lips.
“Do you want my cock?” he asked. His hand gripped my chin to make me look at his eyes properly.
I nodded.
“Do you want me to fill your pussy with my hard cock?”
I nodded again.
“Will you come around me? Will you scream my name when you come?” he asked this time. His voice turned from cocky to daring.
“I’ll do whatever you ask me to if you fuck me this time,” I whispered. I wanted to take my words back the moment they rushed out of my lips, but it was too late. A smirk had found its place on his face already.
“Mmm, you know how to ask nicely, Angel,” he said. “Undress me.”
It was too easy. Even my mind felt like he was giving me a treasure, my body was excited with the pleasure it would feel soon. Both were unaware of the rabbit hole I was falling down. But I didn’t care. All I cared about was the pleasure, the relief I was about to get.
I made quick work of his clothes. My hands were shaking with excitement and also with the need of the upcoming shot of drugs. I was about to get on my knees in front of him. I thought he wouldn’t fuck me before getting a proper blowjob first, but he stopped me, pushing me onto the bed.
“Spread those legs,” he rasped, “I was waiting for you to beg me to fuck you. I won’t delay my pleasure any longer now that you asked for it,” he added.
I didn’t care that I swallowed my words the first day I came here. That day seemed like ages ago. I didn’t care that I begged for my captor to fuck me. The only thing I felt was the thrill as his weight landed on me.
I spread my legs as wide as I could. I was too eager, too horny, I didn’t even need the drug to put me in this state of hunger for his cock inside me.
“Please. Fuck me hard,” I moaned.
He rubbed his cock between my folds, sitting back on his heels. I was so wet; his cock was covered in my juice with the first contact.
“Don’t worry, Angel. That’s the only way I do it,” he grunted as he slid into me with one hard thrust.
“Yes! God, yes! Harder!” I screamed.
A gut feeling inside me was telling me to stop, protesting that I shouldn’t be doing this, that I would regret this. But nothing could stop me as Mike’s magical cock pounded into me.
“Say my name. Scream it, slut!” he rasped into the crook of my neck and bit my earlobe, making me groan.
“Fuck me harder!” I screamed.
“Is this all you can do?!” I shouted, challenging him. My words fired something inside him. I saw the moment he unleashed the beast. I saw the anger, lust, and sick darkness merged together to create something fucked-up, twisted, and hungry.
In that state of mind that was what I wanted.
He grabbed my legs by the knees, pushing them closer to my chest till my thighs touched my nipples. This wasn’t a comfortable position, but I was flexible thanks to my dancing career.
He started a punishing rhythm, filled me deeper and deeper, thrust harder and harder. The line between pain and pleasure was so thin as he pounded into me with his eyes locked on mine.
It was so wrong, but that only made me love it more.
“You like it, slut?” he hissed.
“Yes!” I screamed. “More,” I moaned.
He leaned into me, wrapping his hand around my neck. “You’re not an angel, are you? You’re as fucked-up as I am,” he grunted. I arched my back with the pleasure his wicked words created in me. He leaned down to suck my nipples before biting them.
“You’ll come around my cock, won’t you? You’re loving my cock in your tight pussy, squeezing it like you don’t want it to leave,” he rasped, syncing his thrusts with his questions.
“Yes. Damn, yes! Give me more,” I groaned. Grabbing him by his shoulders I pushed my nails into his skin, scratching his back roughly, making him groan with the pain I caused. Leaving my marks on him satisfied me and it pushed him to go harder on me.
I wanted him to fuck me rough. I wanted him to punish me like I wanted to punish myself for being weak and falling into this black hole more and more each day. I wanted to lose myself in his darkness so I wouldn’t have to face the light again.
And finally, when my orgasm rocked my body, my vision blackened with the indescribable pleasure; there was no light to blame me or make me feel guilty.
MIKE –Age 15
Theo lies down on his back, trying to calm his breath after fucking mother like an animal.
My mother puts her head to his abs, she is covered in his cum. He slaps her ass. “Get my dick hard again, bitch. I’m not done with you yet.”
I want to groan in frustration. My balls are aching, my cock has been pointing to the ceiling during the last hour he kept fucking her. I can feel the wetness of precum and the dark stain on my jeans is easily visible.
“Give him a hand job. He’ll have blue balls if he doesn’t come anytime soon,” I hear Theo say, amusement dripping from his voice. Before I can comprehend his words he pushes the chair toward the bed.
I try to push my chair back to get away from the bed and from her. But a glimpse from the corner of my eye stops me –Theo is holding a knife.
“I’ll cut and lick her blood till you come all over her face,” he says, grazing her skin with the knife. Mother holds her breath as he brings the knife to her neck, but she doesn’t say anything. The total opposite actually, she has hunger in her eyes as she looks at me and licks her lips.
She opens my zipper and gets my dick out. I close my eyes. I don’t want to face the wrongness of the situation.
I shouldn’t be hard as my mother holds my cock in her hands.
I shouldn’t be hard as Theo cuts the sensitive skin on the base of her neck.
I shouldn’t feel the twitch in my dick when he licks the drop of blood off of her skin.
And I shouldn’t moan in pleasure as she pumps her fist up and down my shaft.
But I do… I do all those things and more. I fantasize fucking her mouth. I can’t help but remember the sounds she makes as she sucks Theo’s cock, ta
king it down her throat.
I bite my tongue and moan with the taste of blood, wondering if hers tastes the same. Opening my eyes I focus on the drop of blood that runs from her neck to her breasts. My mouth waters with the vision of it and I bite my tongue once again until another fresh taste of copper fills my senses.
“Fuck, look at him. He’s in Nirvana,” Theo laughs crudely and wraps his lips around one of the wounds he opened on her shoulder as he gets inside her so roughly she falls on my cock. The breath is knocked from my lungs with the impact.
“Shit! Your head buried in his crotch… this is hotter than any porn,” Theo comments and slaps her ass, making her move forward toward my cock once again.
“Let me suck him,” she says to my mortification.
“Suck him, slut! Take him down your throat,” he urges her. His hands are wrapped around her waist and he keeps thrusting into her roughly. But I cannot focus on anything else when her lips wrapped around my head. This is Nirvana.
I hear her scream –maybe he opened another wound on her, but I care about nothing at that second. All I care about is the hot and wet suction around my cock that makes my balls tighten, my abs clench, and makes all the tension in my body focus where her lips are.
Finally, with the flick of her tongue I come. I experience the most intense pleasure I’ve ever felt.
And this time, I don’t even feel disgust.
At the age of fifteen I’ve been broken beyond repair already.
February 2, 2014–Day 17
I was watching the ceiling since the moment I opened my eyes. I didn’t have any strength to move even though I hadn’t been tied for four days. Since I let him, no scratch that, since I begged him to fuck me I was upgraded to stay in this room without being bound to the bed. But this didn’t change anything because of my exhaustion.
