by Abby Gale
My mouth waters with the idea. My tongue caresses the sharpness of my teeth. As an animalistic need consumes me, I lean down to wrap my lips around her neck, sucking and biting till coppery warm liquid awakens my senses.
Hardly realizing her sobs and her screams I bit every piece of her delicate skin in my reach. Turning her alabaster skin into blood red is the sexiest and most satisfying thing I’ve ever seen.
I turn her to face me. A side of her face is red, the angry tissue that is scarred by the tree is being cleansed with her tears. Her hair is like a bird nest around her head. Her breasts aren’t different then her face. The blood is still dripping from her neck, slowly drying on her skin.
“Mike,” she sobs, but I don’t meet her eyes as I try to decide what to do to her next.
“Please, Mike…let me go,” she chokes; her shoulders fall down with fear and resignation.
“Let you go? I thought you promised to keep me company, Kacey. It’s not polite to leave when we’ve just started, right?”
“You’re a monster!” She spits to my face and my vision turns to red again… blood red… her blood.
“And you’re dead,” I laugh at her.
*****
Standing next to her, panting I clean my cock with her shirt before tucking myself back into my jeans. I watch in fascination as the earth absorbs her blood like a sponge. It’s almost magical as the liquid that gives her life is now being swallowed by the ground.
Her body is covered with teeth marks and dried blood. The marks of my small blade are deeper and still dripping. The bruises on her legs are already purple, but they’re not easily seen because of the blood coming out between her legs.
Finally, I look at my last art on her body. A shudder runs through my body as I remember how her delicate neck opened up with the kiss of my blade, how she tried to breathe to only be drowned in her own blood.
Her eyes are still wide open, shock and fear reflecting on them, but they are dull now, not shining with tears.
I caressed the sharp side of my blade. It’s always with me wherever I go, whatever I do since the day Theo thought it was a good idea to fuck with me, since the day he wanted to put a collar on me so he could fuck me like a dog all the while forcing me to come down Nat’s throat.
This small blade saved me that day and now it just became my friend, my weapon, and the judge of my deadly wishes.
February 3, 2014–Day 18
A hunger woke me up. I moved my head enough to see the small window of the room. The sky was violet, it was that early or that late.
I heard the jingle of the keys from the other side of the door.
I remembered bits and pieces of the last scene I caused and I was afraid of what he would do to me. Curling into a ball in the corner of the room, I wished I could disappear. I held my breath as he came closer toward me, preparing myself for the pain when he stood in front of me. I couldn’t look up to meet his eyes, but I was shocked when he kneeled to close the distance between us.
“What happened, slut? Where is the fighter? Can’t you even look me in the eyes now?” he asked, but his voice wasn’t as harsh as I expected. He almost looked like he was enjoying it, but I wasn’t sure as half of his face was covered with white gauze.
I gasped, waited for the strike when he lifted his hand but instead he caressed my cheek, grazing his nail on my eyebrow, “I have a big scar from here,” and he continued, moving his finger till it reached to the corner of my lip “to here.”
“Breathe… I’m not gonna hurt you, actually I’m gonna help you.”
“Wh-what?” I whispered.
“I’ve broken you with drugs, now I’m gonna mold you up,” he smiled and put a tray in front of me before sitting on the bed.
“Eat your dinner, you’re gonna need your strength.”
I didn’t know what he meant, but I was hungry so I did as I was told. I ate as fast as I could and constantly checked him for possible danger, but he silently sat on the bed and watched me as I ate.
When I was done, he placed a kiss on my temple and said, “Good luck, Cupcake.”
*****
My arms were wrapped around my knees as I sat in my corner of the room. My eyes started to lose their focus as I rocked back and forth like a ball. I was awake all night, looking at the same spot at the door. I was waiting for it to open and rescue me from my misery.
I didn’t understand what Mike meant when he wished me luck but with each passing second without my daily shot, I knew.
I waited and waited, but the door never opened.
I was hungry but this hunger wasn’t for food, my body already felt the loss of the drug.
This was my punishment.
Mike knew I was desperate.
My hands fisted on my legs, my nails bit inside of my palms but I didn’t care. Pain helped me focus.
I didn’t want to lose this battle.
I had to be strong.
I had to be strong and save myself from this hell.
MIKE –Turning from 17 to 18: Same Night
“I thought you weren’t coming back.” Nat is sitting on my couch, half naked. I see the white powder on her nose, knowing that she got her fix.
“Have you been waiting for me?” I walk toward her with determination in my steps. Being away from this hell didn’t help me see the light, it showed me how freeing the darkness can be. Being away from everything I thought was my life showed me how much of a fuck up life really is. How much of a fuck up my childhood was and how unworthy my effort to stay good in this life was when in reality my mind is surrounded by darkness.
I am a new man; a monster created over all those years and letting that beast take over me feels good. Now I am the hunter and she is my prey. I get hard with the hunger in her eyes as she licks her lips.
“Stand up,” I order calmly. She looks at me with her big eyes, a seductive smile on her lips. She rises up slowly, letting her body touch mine then and there.
I pulled her head back, fisting her hair around my wrist. “Go to bed, take off your clothes, and wait for me.” My voice is still calm like I’m in my own element and actually, I am.
She leans toward me, trying to kiss me, but I shake my head. Her hand reaches up to me, but I take a step back.
She will not touch me before I give her permission to do so anymore.
She will not take anything from me that I’m not willing to give from now on.
She will not use me for her own pleasure, for her own desires; I will do that.
She bites her bottom lip and lets her hand fall down. She turns back to her previous position and places her hands on her back, a devious look on her face. She is excited; she gets off on humiliation and pain. The worse you treat her the more she enjoys it. She is fucked up, just like me.
“Go,” I whisper toward her lips. A smirk takes over my face when she fights with the urge to purse her lips to touch mine, but she manages and walks toward the bedroom, taking off the shirt she wears on the way.
Walking toward the kitchen I drink a glass of water as I search the cabinets for what I have in mind. Finally, I find them: the unused knife set. I grab the slimmest and the sharpest one, it’ll work however I want it. I caress the handle of another knife, feeling the hard texture of the cylindrical material. I love how it fits into my hand like it is an extension of me. My cock kicks inside my jeans with the idea.
Walking out of the kitchen I find the ropes Theo always uses; I will need this. As I walk toward the bedroom I grab the half used candle where it was left, forgotten.
Nat is lying on the bed, her legs are spread wide, her chest is heaving with her fast breaths. I lick my lips at the sight of her hard nipples. They are begging me to bite them. Her arousal is glistening between her legs.
“You made me wait so long.” She pouts.
I don’t want to hear her whiny voice. All I want to hear is her screams and maybe her sobs.
“Silence!” I bark. My voice is different from this morning, even to
me. I like the change, I like the dangerous edge that a few hours of secrets revealed can do to a person. Her confusion makes the beast inside me excited. I get closer to her after placing knives, ropes, and the candle on a chair.
“Mike? Look at little Mike,” she giggles.
“I said silence.” I slap her. My palm tingles with the contact as her eyes well up with tears. Her shock is obvious, but that doesn’t stop her smile. She licks her lip and looks me in the eye with tears in hers. “Yes, sir,” she purrs.
I’m so hard it starts to hurt. Her bouncing tits don’t help me focus so I decide to fuck her before I start to play. Grabbing her chin I jerk her head back enough to make her look at me. “You won’t touch me before I give you permission to do so, got it?” I say with deadly calm. My voice is full of power, it shakes my body with its force.
“Yes, Mike…sir,” she giggles. “Will I choose a safeword, sir?”
“You can choose one, Nat. But no words will stop me, no one will rescue you from me.” Her eyes widen with excitement and fear, I assume. “You’ll take whatever I’m willing to give you, yes? You were begging me to fuck you for years, even when I was just a kid. Now you won’t get cold feet, will you?”
“Ah, you’re making me so horny, Mike,” she moans.
“Good. Today you cost me a blowjob when you barged in like that on Kacey. You owe me one.” I smirk.
“Fuck, yeah.” A grin covers her face as she sits up to reach my belt, but I take a step back, shaking my head. “Don’t touch,” I say, unzipping my jeans to free my cock. “Open your mouth.”
I rub my cock on her tongue before pushing it all the way down to her throat. Her eyes well up with tears, her throat tenses as she gags around my shaft. I wonder if she can taste another woman on my cock, if she can taste her blood mixed with my cum. Smirking with the thought I pull back and thrust hard, pressing her head to my navel until she claws my thighs like an animal. I pull back, giving her time to take a breath before repeating the same thing till my balls tighten, my cock swells bigger, and my cum hits her throat with a growl.
“Fuck, I knew you would be perfect,” she says, licking her lips like I gave her the most delicious dessert even though tears stain her face.
“And I knew you were a sick fuck whore.” I chuckle.
Grabbing her chin I push her back and tie her wrists and legs to the bed. She is like a kid who can’t wait to start the game. Her grin is in place all the while as I prepare my play. I grab one of the whips Theo keeps in the wardrobe and show it to her; her eyes shine bright with excitement and I let her believe she will have fun today without knowing half of my plans for her, but when I’m through with her she will be a sobbing mess, cursing for my death.
Let the games begin…
*****
“Yes! More!” she cries out when my whip hits her again and again. Her skin is covered in red welts and I’ve just started.
I hit her breasts without a care how hard it was. The harder I hit the more aroused she becomes. I let the whip lick her body with its sharp teeth, breaking her skin from her left breast to her right hipbone.
She lets out a painful scream that is followed with a groan. Her face is almost euphoric and I know she is about to go to the place where her face has that satisfied smile every time Theo hurt her.
Not gonna happen.
I turn my back to grab the candle and light it in front of her, smirking with the way her eyes widen in horror.
“Mike,” she breathes out.
“Scared?” I chuckle.
“Mike, don’t. No fire…” She pulls her restraints but she knows she is trapped.
“You wanted my dick and this is the price I want. Will you back down now? Do you want out?” I move the candle closer to her skin, letting her feel the heat.
“No… but…”
“No buts, Nat. You won’t get an out from this,” I tell her, absorbing the gasp she makes when the wax falls on her skin just where the biggest strip is.
“Please, don’t…please,” she sobs, struggling to get away from the fire, but there is nowhere she can go. I let more wax fall on her skin, keeping the candle close so it’s the hottest form of itself. The wax hisses each time it touches her skin and she grunts with pain, but stops complaining with resignation when she notices there is no turning back.
Leaning down I lick her nipple, sucking it into my mouth till she arches her back. When she does I let another drop of wax land on her nipple and chuckle at her scream. Her fear was feeding the beast in me and no matter how scared she was I could see her glistening cunt.
Gripping the whip in one hand and the candle in another I smirked down at her as she waited my next move with arousal and fear.
I swirled my arm, hitting the whip right on her pussy and before giving her time to process I dropped a good amount of wax on her red flesh.
She cried, she screamed, and she came.
That was the last good thing she got from me.
Now, it was time to skin her alive like they skinned me off from my innocence all those years.
February 15, 2014–Day 30
“Mike!” I screamed as I kicked the door.
It’s been ten days since I got the last shot of drug.
It was hell… I was dying, slowly.
I didn’t see Mike during this time. He periodically left me breakfast, dinner, and water, but he never came into the room.
“You fucking son of a bitch! I know you hear me! Mike!” I screamed again. Some of my nails were broken off because of scratching them on the wall.
“Mike!”
I kicked the door one more time, but there was no more strength in my body I collapsed on the floor. I leaned against the door and curled into a ball again. My body was shaking; it was cold but hot at the same time. My senses were going overboard.
I must have fallen asleep at one point, but I woke up to the loud music.
They lyrics were brutal, I couldn’t focus anything else but those lyrics –I wanna fuck you like an animal. That was how I felt –an animal, caged and helpless. I let my anger rise.
“You bastard! Coward! You couldn’t stand to hear my screams?!” I yelled, but the music drowned out my cries. I rocked back and forth, sobbing, screaming and listening to the song that played on repeat.
I was losing my mind.
Doctor’s Office–January 10, 2016
“Which song was that?”
“Closer by Nine Inch Nails.”
“Is there any specific reason for him to choose that song, Angel?” Cynthia asked.
“Have you ever heard that song, doctor?” I asked, my voice had the slightest tone of sarcasm but it was something, nonetheless.
“No. I’m not so adventurous with music. I only listen to what I’ve grown used to,” CC smiled at me.
“That is the most sexually animalistic song you can find, doctor,” I answered with a robotic tone.
“Oh, I got it,” she said and continued in a hurry to change the topic, “How long did he make you listen to that song?”
“I don’t know. One week I think, or maybe more,” I shrugged.
“Why did he stop, then?” Cynthia asked, taking some notes on her tablet.
“To take care of me.”
“To take care of you? Why?” she looked at me above her black rim glasses.
I held her blue gaze for awhile. Because for the first time, I surely knew the answer of her question. I felt a small smile form on my face before I answered,
“Because he loved me.”
February 25, 2014–Day 40
“Stop, stop, stop… stop it!” I was shaking, my teeth were shattering as I rocked back and forth.
“I want to fuck you like an animal,” I whispered to myself, scratching my skin with my nails till pain shot through me.
The song was driving me crazy, I couldn’t stand it.
I moved closer to the door and hit it with my fists as hard as I could.
“Mike… please… I’ll do anything
you want… Mike!” I was panting, every breath I took was hurting my body. My head was spinning, I couldn’t breathe.
I lied down, pulling my knees to my head, forcing myself to become smaller in hope of stopping this misery.
I was dying… and it wasn’t freeing, it was paralyzing.
*****
“Shh, I’ve got you, babe…I’ve got you.”
“Mike,” I whispered, but even that hurt my throat.
“Shh, don’t talk. I’ll take care of you, okay? You’re mine and I’m gonna make you whole again,” Mike reassured me, caressing my hair.
“Let’s get you out of this room, you need a bath… a long one,” he smiled at me.
“I’m tired,” I murmured, leaning closer to his chest as he lifted me from the bed.
I didn’t know when he got in the room or how we ended up in bed, cuddling each other, but I welcomed the comfort he provided me.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you,” he murmured as he carried me out of the room.
We entered to bathroom. He tried to put me on my feet, but I was too weak to stand I collapsed to the marbled ground.
Mike took off my t-shirt and I immediately got on my knees, reaching for his zipper.
“Hey, Angel… what are you doing, babe?” I heard him say.
What was I doing?
I didn’t know.
Why was I here? On my knees? In front of him? Naked?
Wasn’t serving him my purpose? The reason why I was here?
I was confused, but didn’t say anything as he prepared the bath and then carefully put me into the warm water.
Who was he?
My captor? My lover? My enemy?
“Shh, relax, babe. I’ll take care of you,” he said sweetly, washing my body with care.
Who was I?
“My baby, my slut…mine,” he whispered repeatedly.
