by Terry Towers
Oh dear god, no! Panic welled as I imagined trying to explain why no one could use my bathroom if they chose my room for the party. The thought of either one of them discovering the naked Evan in there made me want to laugh hysterically, but it was a nervous amusement. I had to beat that suggestion right rickety-tick.
“No, definitely not. You’ve been planning this trip for weeks, and I know you and Tia both have a mile-long list of things to do. I’ll be fine. If I’m up to it, I’ll meet you somewhere for dinner tonight. Truthfully, I just want to sleep and try to get better.”
“I don’t know.” She frowned. “Perhaps I should call your dad to come get you. It seems wrong leaving you alone in a strange city.”
I swallowed to hide the strident note of terror that wanted to bleed into my voice. “No, really, Mrs. Oster, I’m fine. It’s a nice hotel in San Francisco, not some crime-infested ghetto in Harlem. I’m going to stay in the room. If I decide to wander out, I promise to let you guys know beforehand.”
“Well, if you’re sure. Do keep your phone handy, so I can check in with you.”
“You’ve got it.” I attempted to keep any hint of emotion from my voice even though the relief I felt that she finally gave in was phenomenal.
Mrs. Oster started to turn, but stopped to put a hand on the door. “If you do feel better, please call and meet up with us. I don’t think you should wander around the city alone.”
“I really don’t think I’ll be up to it, but I’ll let you know if I am.” I mentally crossed my fingers as the older woman dithered a bit more before finally leaving me with a warm parting. Closing the door, I engaged the lock, breathing a sigh of relief.
I heard a deep male chuckling behind me. “She was not going to take no for an answer, was she?”
Turning, I saw Evan emerge from the bathroom and smiled. Damn, he was good-looking with his clothes on, but with them off, giving full display of the lines of muscle in his chest and abdomen, running all the way down his thick and powerful thighs, his body was mind-blowing.
“Phew.” Crossing the room to the bed, I crawled in on the side I’d deemed as my own while he did the same on the other. “I thought she’d never leave. I was scared you might end up stuck in the bathroom until tonight.”
“All’s well that ends well.” He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. “Now that we’re alone at last, what shall we do?”
Wiggling my eyebrows, I snuggled a little closer to him while I reached under the blankets and ran my fingers up the length of his inner thigh, starting at the knee and slowly making my way up, stopping just before they reached their destination. “I can think of a few things.”
To my disappointment, Evan squirmed away and out of reach. “Playing hard to get, Sergeant Fennel?” I teased. It wasn’t like him to shy away from my advances. The only time was when we were studying and he wanted to ensure I stayed focused.
He laughed, leaning into me and kissing me on the side of the neck at the back of my jaw. “No, that’s not it at all. But when we’re alone, it seems like our activities consist of sex and more sex.”
Tilting my head, I eyed him quizzically, feeling a little hurt and put out. “Are you complaining?”
Running his index finger along the line of my jawbone, he further explained, “Not at all. I just don’t want either of us to feel like sex is all we have. So, let’s do something else today. Have a day just for us and meant for having good, clean fun. And then afterwards…” He gave me the smile he reserved for when he was trying to seduce me. It worked, it made me melt inside and he could have asked me to rob a bank with him and I’d have wholeheartedly agreed to be the Bonnie to his Clyde.
Nibbling on my lower lip, I pretended to consider his proposition for dramatic effect. “I’m not sure about going out. What if we run into Tia and her mom?” That was a genuine concern. Not sure how I’d explain if we got caught.
He grinned. “How about you go incognito?”
Incognito, hmmm. “What’d you have in mind?”
~*~ TT ~*~
An hour later, we were strolling along the pier with me in disguise and looking like an entirely different person. My long blonde hair was stuffed under a hoodie, and oversized sunglasses dominated my face. As long I left the hood up, no one would recognize me in passing. We were far enough away from home that I felt pretty confident being with him here, especially since I had the Osters’ itinerary memorized and knew it didn’t include the pier. Just to be sure, I periodically texted Tia to ensure I knew their whereabouts.
It was so nice, easily one of the best days I’d ever had with him, walking hand in hand, enjoying the sights that San Francisco had to offer. It was like we didn’t have a single care in the world. I had been to San Francisco before, but it hadn’t been for a couple of years. We took time out from sightseeing for fish and chips at a street vendor, then sat on a bench and indulged in lunch. Afterward, we resumed walking, eventually pausing near the rail to stare out at the ships.
“How do you feel about Alaska?” asked Evan.
With a shrug, I replied, “I don’t know. I don’t have an opinion about it either way. Why?”
He leaned back against the rail, casually crossing one foot over the other. But his expression didn’t appear casual, not in the least. “I’m either going to Alaska or Germany for my next assignment. I won’t know for a few weeks yet.”
I swallowed; it felt like I was being given a blow right to the midsection. “Wow. I hadn’t expected that.”
He nodded. “Both are exciting, but in different ways. I’m leaning toward Alaska, but Germany would be such a life experience, you know?”
“Uh, yeah.” I chewed on my lower lip, unsure what to think other than neither one seemed appealing, primarily because they were way too far away from me, my life, school... “They’re both so far away from California.”
Evan nodded. “That’s true. It would take us a couple of days of travel time to come back to visit your family here, or mine in Montana.”
“Yeah.” Words seemed at a loss for me. It almost definitely ruled out the possibility of a long-distance relationship, since visits might happen once per year. All the finality I’d felt last night deserted me as I once again questioned if I was ready to commit to the kind of relationship Evan wanted. Even though he hadn’t mentioned getting married, I expected that topic to come up sometime in the near future, considering he seemed to expect I was going with him. It seemed so far. I’d have to quit school after just one year in. Not all my courses would be transferrable so it would be like this year was for nothing, but there was always online learning, I supposed. “Which do you want?”
“Like I said, either would be exciting.”
A cool wind whipped at me, making me shiver. “Alaska would be so cold.” I gave a soft, uneasy laugh.
“Sometimes, but they have a normal summer. People say it’s beautiful there.”
“What about Germany?”
“Snowy in the winter, cool in the spring and summer. We could travel all over Europe on my days off. Taking the train makes travel through Europe fast and easy.”
“That sounds nice.” And it did. It sounded wonderful, all the places I had on my bucket list such as Paris, Rome, Zurich, I could see them all. But it also seemed daunting to be so far from home. It would be an entirely new life. But then again, it wouldn’t be the first time I started all over.
“I guess it doesn’t really matter. As long as we have each other, they could even send me to Greenland.”
I forced a shaky smile. “Is that the one that’s cold all the time, or is that Iceland?”
“I think both are, but Greenland is worse than Iceland, from what I’ve heard.”
“Let’s hope it isn’t Greenland then,” I quipped, while thinking to myself that I hoped I could sort out how I felt about the situation by the time he received his orders.
~*~ TT ~*~
By the time we made it back to the hotel at the end of the day, I was exhau
sted, but it was a good exhausted. I’d called Tia and her mom just before dinnertime, giving them the excuse that I was going to order in and then go back to sleep. They accepted that excuse easier than I’d anticipated, but I knew I’d have no choice but to join them for breakfast.
This would be my last night with Evan for who knows how long, and even though I was with him I was already missing him. At moments like these, I knew I didn’t want to be apart from him for even a few weeks, let alone a few months or even up to a year. I wished that I had more time to think about this, but he’d already given me a timeframe: I had just a few weeks to decide what I wanted and needed from my life.
That night we spent a sweet night making love and sleeping in each other’s arms. The next morning, I realized I’d overslept and shook Evan awake. “We did it again. I’m going to be late. Could you please help me pack? Mrs. Oster wants to leave for home right after breakfast.”
“Sure.” Getting off the bed, he slid on his boxer briefs, and started helping me gather my things. It was frantic, but we managed to get everything packed and dressed before I needed to meet Tia and her mother downstairs.
“So, this is it,” I said with a heavy heart, rocking back on my heels as I stood by the door waiting for him to approach me.
“This is, but it’s also close to the start of something new and better.” He came to a stop before me and gathered me up into his arms. I fell into him, slipping my arms up his chest to his shoulders. Looking at me, he smiled, yet the look in his eyes was serious. “I know I gave you a lot to think about, but we don’t have much time. Now that I’m being transferred we’re not going to have to worry about your father and his impact on my career and we can finally start our lives together – out in the open.”
I nodded. It sounded so good. It was so tempting to say yes straight away, but I knew I couldn’t be impulsive. The moment I said yes my life would change forever. I had to think this through.
Chapter Ten
Olivia
For the third time, I counted back the days on the small calendar I kept in my desk. There was no mistake. I was definitely late. It was only four days. Not a big deal, right? But I was never late, my cycle was like clockwork. I was one of the lucky ones. However, the last two weeks had been so stressful that it was bound to affect my cycle, right? Though it wasn’t as though stress was a new thing to me. It seemed that stress had been my best friend for the past several years. Whether I brought it onto myself or not was an entirely different matter altogether.
I hadn’t seen or spoken much to Evan since that morning in the hotel, just a few text messages and brief phone conversations, and it was killing me. I was avoiding him and the more I spent considering it, the more convinced I was that I loved him more than anything else and simply couldn’t live without him. This should be an easy choice, shouldn’t it? As soon as he said that he was moving and that we could start our lives together I should have been jumping up and down, cheering my head off in happiness. Yet, I couldn’t definitively commit to the future he envisioned, so I was avoiding him to a certain extent, attempting to get my head around the idea of an entirely different life. But now, now all I wanted was to hear the sound of his voice and feel his arms wrapped around me.
Hands trembling, I snatched up the phone and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring. “Are you home?”
“Olivia?”
“Yeah. Are you home?”
“Yes.” His tone sounded cautious; no doubt he’d been sensing my indecision. “Do you want to come over?”
“Uh huh. I need to talk to you about something.” After hanging up the phone I scooped up my car keys and ran from the house. I couldn’t take it any longer, I needed him and I needed to have the air clear between us.
Before heading to his house, I needed to make a quick stop to the pharmacy. In my rush, I turned into the parking lot without using my turn signal, getting a horn honk and the finger from the person driving the car behind me. Shrugging it off, I hurried inside, going straight to the health and beauty section. I found what I was searching for in a couple of seconds and scooped up the box. My heart was pounding as I headed for the checkout, silently praying no one I knew would see me with my purchase.
The line was short, and I moved through quickly, holding my breath until the box was in a brown bag and I was out the door. As I raced toward my car, I saw a flash of red peripherally. Turning slightly, I saw Carrie just a few steps behind me. The bag in my hand seemed to burn like fire, and I increased my pace, all the while wondering if the other woman had seen me buying the test. If so, would she assume that Evan was the father? But did it really matter anymore anyhow? His transfer was going through and my father would no longer have a bearing in the decisions we made about our future.
My hand shook as I knocked on his door, in rapid motions. Evan answered the door wearing a pair of jeans that rode low on his hips and a black t-shirt that clung to his magnificent torso. Even the thought of running my hands over the contours of his entire body couldn’t distract me from my thoughts or mission. Nausea suddenly surged in my stomach, and I pushed past him to run to the bathroom, without so much as a hello in his direction. The bag I’d been carrying got thrown across the floor as I fell to my knees and unloaded the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl.
“Olivia, what’s wrong?” he asked, coming to kneel beside me and gathering my hair to keep it out of my face as another round of heaves hit me.
“I think I might be pregnant,” I said groaning, heaving a third time. “And Carrie might know.”
Evan’s complexion turned ashen. “How? What?”
“I didn’t know it, but she was behind me in line at the pharmacy.” Feeling shaky, I slowly rose to my feet with Evan’s assistance.
He waved a hand in the air. “I don’t give a damn if Carrie knows. I’m worried about you. I meant why do you think you’re pregnant?” He didn’t seem as alarmed at the idea that I may be possibly carrying his child as most men our age would be. Correction, my age. I supposed many men in their mid-twenties were beginning to think of families and settling down.
A surge of despair ran through me and I had to resist the urge to throw myself into his arms. We had issues that we needed to discuss and needed to know for sure if I were pregnant or not before I allowed myself the weakness to fall into him and draw from his strength. “It’s only four days. Probably nothing.”
“Have you been throwing up long?”
I shook my head. “Just now. I think it was reaction to the stress.”
His gaze dropped to the bag that skidded across the bathroom floor and came to a rest against the white bathtub. “Is that a test?”
I nodded. “Two, actually.” I gave him a weak smile. “Doesn’t hurt to have a second option.”
He chuckled and gave his head a little shake. “Okay, do you want to take them now so you can set your mind at ease?”
“Why are you so calm?” I asked, cocking my head to the side and eyeing him as if the answer would magically appear on his forehead.
“Because I’m sure it’s just your mind overreacting. But to set your mind at ease, take the tests and then we can talk.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I began to calm, pulling from his calm demeanor. No doubt he was right, I was overreacting.
“I’ll leave you to it then. If you need any help, let me know.”
I cocked a brow up at him. “Help?”
Releasing a little laugh, he shook his head. “I don’t know what I meant by that.” Without another word he closed the door behind him, leaving me to it.
I quickly read the instructions – it was hardly rocket science – and started the tests as soon as I was alone, taking both to be on the safe side. Leaving them on the box on the counter, I opened the door to find him standing in the hallway. “Could you mark ten minutes?” One was supposed to be sixty seconds, one ten minutes. I’d leave them both for ten minutes to be sure.
He nodded, fiddling with his watch. Takin
g my hand, he led me from the bathroom, to the couch. Now that the tests were done, I leaned against his hard body, drawing strength from his presence.
“I’ll take care of you,” he said, breaking the silence and startling me.
I nodded. “I know.”
He squeezed my hand. “It’s not the end of the world if you are pregnant, okay? My mom got pregnant at fifteen, married my dad, and they’re still together. They have four kids and are happy as newlyweds. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s only as big as you make it.”
I nodded again. The idea of having a baby at fifteen was horrifying – not that eighteen was much better, but then again, it’s not like I was a child anymore. Having a child at eighteen may no longer be the norm, but it wasn’t exactly unheard of. He was right, we’d simply roll with it.
Regardless, it was a relief to have the alarm sound. This was it, the moment of truth. Jumping up from the couch, I ran down the hallway, with Evan hot on my heels.
My stomach clenched so hard I could barely breathe. Taking in a deep breath I leaned forward to look at the tests. Both digital displays read: negative. I expected to jump with joy and do a little dance with happiness to see the negative readings, but I didn’t. While there was a wash of relief, I also felt something else: sadness.
Turning to him, I showed him the tests. “Negative. It’s good.” I smiled, but I didn’t entirely feel the emotion I was attempting to display.
To my surprise, he looked kind of sad. “I guess.”
“You didn’t really want a baby right now, did you? You’re always so good about making sure we’re using protection. A baby is the last thing you want, right?”
“No, not yet, but I do someday, and with you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I guess it just gives me some perspective to see how relieved you are to not be carrying my child.”
“That’s not fair, Evan. Everything is so up in the air with us right now. We don’t even know where we’ll be living in a couple months. And I’m just starting college, not even finished my first year. A baby would totally interfere with that.”
