by Terry Towers
Something switched within me on my way home from tennis practice. While I wasn’t much for sports, Tia had convinced me to try, and as luck would have it, I enjoyed it. For the first time in weeks, I was feeling a little optimistic about the future. Maybe one day I’d meet someone who would pique my interest again. I couldn’t wholeheartedly believe in that thought just yet, but could see the glimmer of a possibility that there might be life after Evan, whereas not too long ago life without him didn’t exist for me.
Humming the latest Taylor Swift song, I let myself into the house, calling, “Stephanie, I’m home,” as I dumped my backpack and tennis racket on the kitchen table. It was a surprise to find the kitchen deserted, with no signs of dinner yet. Dad was a bit fastidious about his schedule, always wanting dinner at six p.m., ten minutes after he got home. Stephanie had always indulged him, with the exception for nights when they ate out. I couldn’t remember a time when dinner wasn’t in the midst of being prepared by five-fifteen, as the clock on the microwave revealed.
“Stephanie?” I called out a second time, grabbing an apple from the bowl and polishing it on my shirt as I walked from the kitchen into the living room, which was dark. I blinked at the darkness. The curtains were drawn, and there wasn’t a lamp on. I flicked the switch, providing instant illumination of the sight of my stepmother sitting on the couch, looking ashen.
Dropping the apple, I rushed to my stepmother’s side. “What’s wrong?”
Stephanie blinked, seeming to have trouble bringing her gaze into focus. “Oh, Olivia.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she hugged me.
I patted her back as I returned the hug. “What’s happened?”
“There was an accident. The helicopter your father was in crashed this afternoon. He and the crew are still missing.”
My head swam with the news. A pang hit me in the stomach as I thought of my father, missing somewhere, maybe hurt or worse. “He’ll be fine,” I said aloud. My voice was much more sure than I felt, but I had to be strong, for Stephanie’s sake. Besides, if I preoccupied myself with comforting her, then I could put my own fears and misery to the back burner.
Stephanie nodded, though she didn’t look convinced. “I’m just so scared, honey. I already called Madison and Wade and they are on their way, neither one could get a flight until tomorrow.”
“That’s fine. Dad will be here to greet them and lecture them both about abandoning their responsibilities to come home for such a silly thing,” I assured her with a wobble in my voice.
“Of course.” A quiet sob escaped my stepmother, and she pressed her hand to her mouth, looking at me with guilty eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be carrying on like this. He’s tough.”
I nodded, continuing to pat Stephanie’s back. Suddenly, I froze as the image of Evan’s face popped up in my mind. “Who was in his crew, Mom?”
Stephanie took my hand, squeezing gently. “I’m not sure. There were five in total including your father.”
“Evan?” I asked in a stricken tone. “Did they mention Evan Fennel?” Please God no, I couldn’t lose both of them.
Stephanie nodded. “Yes, I think that was one of the others, Olivia.”
It was a struggle to draw my next breath. If it hadn’t been an autonomic process, I probably couldn’t have managed such an arduous task. In the span of a second, I knew I had been fooling myself. I hadn’t moved on or started to get over Evan. I had only been pretending with everyone, including myself. He meant everything to me, and he could be injured or dead. It gave me a new appreciation for how my stepmother must be feeling, with a woman’s perspective, not that of a child missing a parent.
We wrapped our arms around each other and settled in silence. Only the grandfather clock dared break it to count down the minutes we had been waiting for news of the men in our lives. Even that was a distant roar as I dwelled on dark thoughts of how we could ever go on if my dad was dead, and how I would function if something awful had happened to Evan too.
~*~ TT ~*~
A little past seven, the phone rang and Stephanie snatched it up. “Hello?” She listened for a second, and then sagged. “Everyone?” Another pause. “Yes, thank you. We’ll be ready.”
Hovering nearby, I waited until she was done to demand the information; it seemed to take forever for her to finish the conversation. “Well?”
“They’ve found your father and everyone who had been on board. Everyone is alive.”
I released the breath I’d been holding. A wave of relief washed over me so intense I could have slumped to the floor. “Thank God.” Joy filled me, knowing the two most important men in my life were alive. I couldn’t pretend or fool myself anymore; I never stopped loving Evan and never would. “Can we go to them?”
“Lieutenant Hauffman is sending a vehicle for us now. Everyone should be back on base by the time we arrive.”
I hurried to my room to freshen up, not wanting to look like I’d spent the last two hours contemplating the worst. There was no time for full makeup, but I brushed my hair and washed my face. Impatiently, I rejoined my stepmother, who had also freshened up, and we stood near the door, the minutes that went by seeming like hours.
As soon as we saw the military vehicle my stepmother and I were out the front door and rushing down the front steps. The vehicle didn’t even have a chance to fully stop before my hand was on the door handle for the back seat, opening it. The drive seemed to take an incredibly long time; it was like the driver didn’t know the concept of urgency.
By the time we arrived at the area where the rescue chopper was to land, my nerves were frazzled. My stepmother and I followed our two escorts inside a building and then outside again, to the other side. There, on the pad, sat a helicopter that had just landed. Men emerged from the helicopter. A couple were limping, and one was on a stretcher, but everyone else walked under their own power.
My father was leading the group from the helicopter and in our direction; Evan was walking just behind him. Even battered and bruised, my father walked with dignity and authority. I was proud to be his daughter. When my eyes laid sight on Evan my heart skipped a beat and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He’d never looked as good to me as he did right now. Our gazes locked, and it was as if the last few months had never happened and we were back to the last time we were together, in love and unable to get enough of each other.
I didn’t walk, I ran, toward Evan. I wanted to give my father a hug and tell him I was glad he was okay, but my legs seemed to take me past my father and to Evan. With a sob, I threw myself into Evan’s arms, and he lifted me up and into the air. I didn’t care about who was around me or the possible ramifications of what we were doing. I just knew I needed to be near him. My legs went around his waist as my mouth sought out his in a deep kiss. Tears coursed from my eyes, but this time they were tears of joy rather than sorrow.
“Olivia,” he said, pulling his lips from mine to take a breath.
“Oh, Evan.” I framed his face in my hands. I don’t think I remembered him being so handsome. “I thought you’d died. I’m so sorry. I’ve been so stupid.”
“So have I. When the chopper was going down all I could think about was fixing things with you,” he said.
My father chose that moment to interrupt our reunion. “What the bloody hell is going on here, Sergeant?”
“Not now, Dad,” I said over my shoulder. I’d allowed my father to dominate our actions and our relationship for far too long. It ended today.
“Olivia Ann Vanburen, don’t speak to me like that.” He was suddenly standing too near, rage in his eyes and tone. “Put her down, Fennel, and explain yourself. That’s an order!”
Slowly, Evan lowered me to my feet. I immediately clung to his side, facing my father with outright defiance in my gaze.
“I’ve been seeing Olivia,” said Evan, omitting the breakup for the sake of simplicity.
The major looked close to exploding. Either that or close to a heart attack – I was unsure as to w
hich it was. “You were told to stay away from my daughter.”
“I’m aware, but my relationship with Olivia isn’t part of your authority.” Evan somehow managed not to betray any emotion, a feat I found impressive.
“I refuse to allow my daughter to be just one more notch on your bedpost. If you’re so dedicated that you’d dare to defy me then I would imagine you’d have no issues marrying her.”
“Dad, don’t be so melodramatic,” I scolded. He was being unnecessarily over the top.
Evan spoke at the same time. “I’m ready to marry your daughter whenever she sets the date, Major.”
I rolled my eyes at both of the men in my life, wishing they could forget the macho crap and just celebrate everyone’s safe return. “Do not be ridiculous, Dad. Evan and I will get married in our own time, not because you said so.”
The major turned his thunderous glare onto me, which made me shiver. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so angry. He refocused his attention back to Evan. “Dammit, Fennel, I told you to befriend her, not seduce her.”
My stepmother stepped up and placed herself between the major and Evan. She turned a baleful look on the man she had been embracing not five minutes before. “I can’t believe you ordered him to befriend her, Arthur. To make it worse, you can’t go punishing the boy for falling in love with the very person you wanted him spending time with, regardless of the reason you wanted them together.”
“I told him to keep his hands to himself!”
“Love doesn’t work that way. You chose him for her and he makes your daughter happy. That’s quite evident. You should be happy that she’s happy.”
My head began to spin and I suddenly felt dizzy, still I managed to steady myself well enough to interrupt my parents’ bickering. “Wait a minute. What’re you talking about? Are you saying you told Evan to take me out, Dad?”
The major nodded, looking faintly abashed. “I thought it would do you some good to go out with a young man who could show you how a real man treated a woman. I didn’t know I’d sent a Casanova to do the job.”
Turning pleading eyes to Evan, I shook my head. There was no way that could be true, he’d have told me long ago if that were the case. “It’s not true, is it?”
I saw the remorse in his eyes and my insides turned cold. “Yeah, it is. Your dad asked me to make friends with you. It wasn’t an order exactly, but it was an assignment off the books and I don’t turn down assignments, even unofficial ones.”
Numb, I dropped his hand and took a step back from him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “You only dated me because he told you to?”
“At first, yes. But that was only the first couple of dates. It didn’t take me long to fall for you and by then it was too late. I didn’t think it mattered why I met you. It doesn’t change anything.”
Anger surged through me. “I don’t believe you. Everything you’ve ever said or done is a lie.” I turned away from him, evading the hand he reached out toward me. I paused my retreat just long enough to look over my shoulder at him, letting my anger and hurt show in my eyes. “I’m glad you aren’t injured, but I never want to see you again.”
“Olivia, wait.”
Shaking my head, I ran from the landing area, back into the building, and kept going, uncaring where I ended up, as long as it was away from him. It seemed like the blows just kept coming, one after another after another. Lies, why did every man in my life have to lie to me? Was this what love was supposed to be like?
“Olivia!” I heard my name being called out; it was Evan. When he called my name one more time he had nearly caught up to me. Despite the tennis lessons I was still in crappy shape, no match for him, even with his injuries.
I slowed my pace as a stitch began to make my side ache. Doubling over, I grimaced as I clutched my left side. “Go away,” I yelled over my shoulder before releasing a low groan.
Chapter 12
Evan
Well, fuck me over with a wooden spoon, to quote my grandmother. I had no idea where the saying came from, but it seemed to be fitting for this situation.
Finally, Olivia slowed her pace, allowing me to effortlessly catch up with her despite my various aches and pains from the crash.
“Olivia, we need to discuss this. No more running, no more childish games. Everything out in the open and honest, for once.”
“I have nothing to say,” she spat back at me, lifting her head and attempting to straighten, though the action caused her to grimace in pain.
“I do. And so do you. This back and forth between us stops today.”
There was fire in her stunning blue eyes as she stared up at me, but she didn’t reply. I took the non-response to mean she was open to hear what I had to say. I’d take what I could get.
“Look, I’ll freely admit, I fucked up. I fucked up royally. When your father told me he wanted me to befriend you I thought it was insane, but then he told me your story.”
“My story?” Crossing her arms over her chest she cocked a brow up at me and waited.
Boy, I didn’t want to say what needed to be said – the last thing I wanted was for her to feel more pain. But what choice did I have? None really. Not if I wanted to salvage what we had.
“Your father told me that you were struggling with depression and that you hadn’t been treated all too well by men in the past. He mentioned that you had no friends here anymore and that’s what you desperately needed.”
She didn’t answer, but the tears forming in her eyes told me all I needed. I was hurting her with the truth and I hated myself for it. As much as I wanted to pull her into my arms, I knew I had to finish what I’d started even more.
“I felt bad. Before I joined the Army, all throughout high school I was a bit of a nerd.” Admittedly, I hated thinking about my high school years. There was barely a good day out of the lot. “So, I could relate to how you must have been feeling, moving back here with no one to turn to… So, I agreed.”
“Yes, poor Olivia, the loser, charity case,” she snapped.
Fuck, I wasn’t getting the words out right. If anything, I was making this worse. “You’re no pity case, but everyone needs a hand from time to time and in this case, that moment in time was when you needed it, so I offered it to you.”
She frowned, shaking her head. “Why lie? There were so many instances where you could have told me the truth. But you never did. I don’t understand why not. If you can lie to me about that it makes me wonder what else you’ve lied to me about.”
I shrugged. I had no answers for her other than I was an idiot. “I have no answers. Yes, I misled you, but my feelings are legitimate. After some time, I didn’t even think how we met was a factor anymore.”
“What do you expect me to do?” I could see the conflict in her eyes.
“I got my orders the other day. I’m being transferred to Alaska. I want you to come with me. Go to school there, do online courses, whatever works for you.”
“I don’t –” She shook her head.
I placed my index finger onto her lips, stopping her from saying the rest. “Think about us together. How you need me as much as I need you. I saw the look in your eyes when you ran to me, you’re still in love with me. So, think on it. I won’t wait for you forever, but I’ll give you time. When you’re ready to have the type of relationship I need from you then you’re welcome to come to Alaska so we can start the rest of our lives together.”
When I removed my finger from her lips she didn’t speak, just stared up at me with those stunning blue eyes of hers. I could see the turmoil in her gaze. I wished she could see our future as clearly as I did, but I understood her hesitation. I wasn’t giving up anything to be with her, but she’d be giving up everything and restarting her life in a new place – again – for me.
“Just promise you’ll think about it. I love you and I will for the rest of our lives if you let me.”
She didn’t respond aside from nodding.
Taking a deep breath
in, I slowly released it while allowing my eyes to drink in everything about her, one last time, attempting to etch her image in my mind. Without another word, I turned and began walking. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked away, but refused to turn back.
The ball was in her court now. I’d wait for her, but not forever.
Chapter Thirteen
Olivia
I shivered as I stepped off the plane. It was negative five outside, and I felt every bit of the cold temperature as I followed the line of passengers disembarking the plane. It was a short ride to the hotel from the airport where I unloaded my suitcases, took a shower, and changed clothing before leaving the room in order to do the most important thing I had ever done in my life.
Nerves made my stomach constrict while I sat in the cab on my way to the address my father had given to me. It was the address to Evan’s new apartment, in Alaska. Once we reached our destination, I paid the cabbie and got out. Slowly walking through the front doors of the building it took me a few minutes, but I eventually found myself in front of Evan’s door. My thoughts were in a tailspin as I tried to think of the speech I rehearsed, but alas, the perfectly written monologue was nowhere to be found in my mind.
Summoning a deep breath for courage, I knocked and waited, hoping my father had been right about the duty roster, and Evan was off tonight. If he was off, he was probably rooming in; the weather had been a nightmare this past week from what I’d heard.
After a few seconds that felt like years, he opened the door. My breath caught in my throat as I cast my eyes upon him. It was the first time I’d seen him in nearly two months, not since our conversation at the base. He looked leaner than I remembered, but maybe it was just my imagination.
He greeted me with a stony expression, but no words.
