‘Well, Joyce was almost in tears just now when she left your office—’
‘So she should be,’ Kate snapped. ‘Those formats for Denison should have been halfway finished by now. I don’t pay her to sit around and flirt with Bernard!’
‘No, I realise that,’ Beryl agreed lightly. ‘I just wondered if there was anything you—you would like to talk about?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Kate shook her head firmly.
‘Only Richard has called three times today and each time you’ve told me to tell him you aren’t in.’
‘Yes?’ Her eyes were narrowed.
‘Well, each time you have been here.’ Her secretary looked worried by her unusual behaviour. ‘I just wondered if your—tension has anything to do with the brother you suddenly acquired at the beginning of the week. I know I wouldn’t mind a brother like that!’ she added appreciatively.
‘Beryl …!’
‘Yes?’ The other woman looked at her with mischievous eyes.
Kate’s anger left her with a sigh as she sat back in her chair, her hair in its usual severe style, her face pale, her eyes like liquid gold, the severity of the black and white dress she wore adding to her paleness. ‘Is it that obvious?’ she asked wearily.
‘I don’t quite know what you mean by “that”.’ Beryl sat on the edge of her desk. ‘But I would say it’s very obvious that something is bothering you. You don’t exactly have the look of a newly engaged lady.’
Kate closed her eyes, rubbing her aching temples. ‘If only he hadn’t come back,’ she muttered almost to herself. ‘If only he’d stayed in America!’
‘Your brother?’ Beryl prompted softly.
She looked at her secretary with a tired sigh. ‘Jared Rourke. I don’t suppose there’s been any calls from him today?’
Beryl pursed her lips, shaking her head. ‘Not one. So his name is Jared,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘He certainly is a charmer.’
‘Yes,’ she acknowledged ruefully. ‘Why is it that all the poor ones are?’ she sighed.
The other woman looked puzzled. ‘Would it be too much to ask where he fits into the picture?’
‘He doesn’t,’ Kate told her flatly. ‘At least, he shouldn’t.’
‘But he does?’
‘I don’t know, Beryl,’ she sighed. ‘I really don’t know. I thought he didn’t, but now he seems to have disappeared.’
‘And you’re worried about him?’
‘Not exactly.’ She leant her chin on her cupped hands, her elbows resting on the desktop in support. ‘He’s a grown man, he knows how to take care of himself. It’s just—I wasn’t very nice to him before he left yesterday, and I said some things I wish I hadn’t.’
‘That was when he stormed out of here?’
‘Mm,’ she nodded, still looking miserable.
‘I shouldn’t worry about it.’ Beryl stood up. ‘He’s probably just gone off to sulk.’
Kate’s mouth curved into an unwilling smile. ‘Do you really think so?’
‘Of course,’ the other woman dismissed. ‘All men are boys at heart,’ she assured Kate before leaving.
Kate wished she could be as sure. She had said some pretty awful things to Jarerd yesterday, things he might not forgive her for.
The insistent ringing of her telephone had her reaching for the receiver, her response vague, to say the least.
‘It’s Richard again,’ Beryl told her questioningly.
She would have to talk to him; she had the feeling that if she didn’t he was going to be demanding some serious explanations from her.
‘Kate?’ he queried abruptly as he realised that he had at last been put through to her. ‘A bit elusive today, aren’t you?’
She deserved the rebuke, and colour darkened her
cheeks at his sarcasm. ‘I’m sorry, darling. I’ve been so busy—’
‘It doesn’t matter now, as long as I’ve finally got to speak to you.’ There was still displeasure in his voice, the word finally emphasised slightly. ‘About tonight—’
‘Dinner at my flat,’ she suggested quickly. ‘I could cook your favourite Boeuf Stroganoff. And then afterwards—’
‘It sounds delightful, Kate,’ he cut in abruptly. ‘But the reason I’ve been trying all day to reach you was that I have to leave town for a couple of days later this evening.’
‘I—But—Why?’ she frowned; he had made no mention of this before.
‘Business,’ came his curt reply. ‘I’m having trouble with some of my designers in France. The personal touch should soon put that right,’ he added with satisfaction.
‘Well, if you have to go,’ she bit back her disappointment. ‘I shall miss you,’ she told him huskily.
‘I find that very difficult to believe,’ Richard returned with haughty arrogance.
He was still angry with her about last night! ‘Richard, I’m sorry about—’
‘I don’t have time to listen to apologies, Kate, especially ones that can’t really mean a lot. What I will say is that perhaps we’ve been a little hasty in our decision to get married, that we should both give it a little more thought.’
‘Oh, but—’
‘I suggest you use these few days while I’m away to decide if you’re really the sort of wife I want—and need,’ he continued coldly. ‘We’ll talk when I get back.’ He hung up.
Kate swallowed hard, knowing that his ‘suggestion’ had really been a threat, that she either did things his way or not at all. She had never known Richard to act like this before, and she felt shaken by the change that had come over him. But she had wanted to marry a powerful man, a man who could control his own life and those about him, never thinking that she would be one of them. She felt uneasy, as if she had got herself in too deeply with something that was potentially dangerous.
Two days at the most she had to decide if this was really what she wanted, and after that Richard would demand anything of her he wanted. And after last night she knew what he wanted; she realised he had just been biding his time before asking for a physical commitment from her. It was a physical commitment she didn’t know if she could fulfil.
Oh, her head ached! The work for Melfords spread out on her desk was impossible for her to do when she felt so lousy; she would be better leaving it until tomorrow. It was after four now, why shouldn’t she give herself an early night for a change? She was certainly doing no good sitting here trying to sort out the mess of her life. It was thinking about that that had given her the headache in the first place!
Beryl looked up from her own work as she sensed Kate standing in front of her desk, her eyes widening as she saw she was ready to leave for the night. ‘Had enough?’ she queried lightly.
‘I’m going to do everyone a favour and go home,’ she said dryly.
‘If there are any calls for you—important ones,’ Beryl added pointedly, ‘shall I let you know?’
By ‘important’ Kate knew the other woman meant from Jared, and for a brief moment she wished she hadn’t been quite so candid with her friend. But where the hell was he—could he really have left her life so abruptly? What had she said yesterday that was so different from all the other insults she had levelled at him? That she didn’t respect him, that he was no better than a gigolo! Heavens, had she really said those things to the man she—she what? Had spent two reckless days and nights with! It was a vicious circle, the same thoughts going round and round in her head, till she was unsure what she felt for anyone any more.
‘Yes, please,’ she told Beryl wearily. ‘Although I very much doubt there’ll be any.’ The last was added with dull acceptance.
Her flat seemed even emptier and more lonely than last night, and Ben’s questions about her ‘brother’ on the way up here had met with curt replies. Jared had truly invaded every aspect of her life, and she didn’t know how she was going to survive without his unexpected visits.
Of course she would survive, she always had, hadn’t she! And once Richard was her husband she w
ould never look back, would never again have reason to doubt that a man’s interest was truly in her and not in just what she could give him financially.
Then why did her tears mingle with the shower-water as she stood beneath the refreshing spray? She hadn’t cried since Brian had let her down with such disastrous results, and she had no idea why she was crying now.
Except that she suddenly felt so alone, as if her best friend had just deserted her. Which was ridiculous, considering she had never had a best friend! As a child she had moved about a lot with her parents. Her father had been in the Army then, although he was retired now, and the constant moves hadn’t given her the opportunity to make lifelong friends, only fleeting ones. At college she had met and fallen in love with Brian almost immediately, and after that he had become the centre of her existence, her only companion once her parents had moved to Gibraltar to live three years ago.
Now not knowing where Jared was had reduced her to tears once again, or could it be because of Richard’s almost ultimatum? She didn’t know any more, she hadn’t felt this confused about her emotions since she had been a mixed-up teenager, having known from the moment she met Brian when she was nineteen that they would get married and be happy together. Now he was married to someone else, and she—she was engaged to one man and yet still dangerously attracted to another one.
She was drying her hair in her bedroom mirror when the doorbell rang shortly after five. Her eyes were beginning to glow as she put the dryer down to go and answer the door. It had to be Jared this time, and just for worrying her she would make him cook the dinner tonight.
‘I knew you wouldn’t—’ Once again she was wrong about the identity of her visitor. ‘Brian …!’ she said dazedly, staring up at him with unblinking eyes.
CHAPTER SIX
HER first thought was that he looked older. Her second that he looked very unhappy.
And that knowledge gave her none of the exhilaration she had thought she would feel if the misery he had inflicted on her when he broke their engagement so callously rebounded on him.
‘Can I come in?’ His voice was gruff.
Kate opened the door wider for him to enter, not saying a word, taking the few minutes it took him to walk into the lounge to collect her own thoughts together. Brian had changed considerably in the three months since she had last seen him. Beside the obvious physical changes, the weary look about his eyes, the petulant droop to his mouth, he was also slimmer, the tailored cream suit and black silk shirt he had on much more expensive than the clothes he used to wear.
The obvious elegance of his clothing made her very selfconscious of her own attire, the black silk robe over her nakedness, her hair still damp down her back, her face bare of make-up. But what did it matter how she looked? Brian was as far removed from her now as the moon was; the plain gold wedding ring on his finger, and the diamond one on her own, dictated that it had to be so.
He looked at her with velvet brown eyes, the same velvet brown eyes that had always sent a thrill of anticipation down her spine. Now she felt nothing, only curiosity as to his reason for coming here.
‘I wasn’t sure you would be at home yet.’ His voice was still husky, a little uncertain.
She shrugged dismissively. ‘I left early.’
His dark brows quirked, the same coal-black colour as the hair that was styled so neatly over his collar and ears, the same dark hair that he had assured her time and time again he didn’t have the time to get cut when she had teased him about the fact that it was too long. He seemed to have found the time now. To look at him now was like looking at a stranger, a very expensively dressed, perfectly groomed stranger.
‘That’s unusual for you, isn’t it?’ he said softly, his hands thrust into his trouser pockets, as if he weren’t quite sure what to do with them.
‘Perhaps,’ she conceded distantly.
He nodded, chewing on his inner lip. ‘Er—Coral said she saw you yesterday.’
‘She did,’ Kate nodded.
‘She was lunching with a—a friend,’ the explanation seemed forced out of him. ‘Paul Lincoln, actually, the man who’s showing my exhibition for me.’
‘Oh yes,’ she nodded coolly, and moved to sit in one of the armchairs, holding her robe over her legs as she crossed one knee over the other. ‘How is it going?’
A nerve began to pulsate in his jawline, his mouth tightening. ‘Very well. In fact, it’s a sell-out,’ he revealed tautly.
He didn’t look exactly pleased by the fact. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ Kate frowned at his attitude.
‘Is it?’ he said bitterly. ‘A lot of high-class snobs who want “something” to hang on their wall that won’t clash with the décor or furnishings!’ His mouth twisted in disgust. ‘That isn’t what I worked myself ragged for!’
‘As long as it sells …’ she shrugged.
‘That’s what Coral says,’ he scowled.
Kate didn’t even flinch at this second mention of his wife’s name, although she couldn’t help wondering how much of a ‘friend’ Paul Lincoln was to her—he had certainly seemed more than that yesterday. She also remembered her own jealous reaction to Jared knowing the other woman.
Her eyes became hard. ‘Well, it’s true, isn’t it?’ she dismissed coldly.
‘True!’ Brian’s expression became aggressive. ‘A lot of idiots just looking for another piece of furniture! And the critics ripped me to shreds,’ he groaned.
‘What do they know?’ she scorned. ‘You always said that if the critics panned you then the exhibition was guaranteed to be a success,’ she reminded him.
‘Not these critics.’ He looked bleak. ‘Every one put the knife in.’ He sank down into the chair opposite her, his face buried in his hands. ‘I should never have let Coral persuade me to show in Lincoln’s gallery,’ he muttered, looking up at her with hard brown eyes. ‘He’s her lover, you know. At least, he was. He probably still is for all I know.’ He scowled once again, not really looking at Kate now, his thoughts inwards.
She could see that the fact that a woman might be cheating on him was a new experience for Brian—one that he didn’t like at all. ‘Brian—’ she began.
‘I hear you got yourself engaged to some rich man in the City.’ It was almost an accusation.
Kate bristled with indignation. ‘That’s right,’ she snapped, wondering how he had the nerve to come here and complain for ten minutes about the success of his exhibition, and then rebuke her for trying to put her life back together after he had so callously walked out on her. ‘The wedding is next month,’ she added antagonistically.
‘Do you love him?’
‘Really, Brian,’ her tone was brittle as she stood up to move about the room, ‘I don’t think my feelings for Richard are any of your business!’
‘Coral said you were with someone else yesterday.’
‘So?’
‘So who was he?’
Once again she felt indignant, her eyes widening, her breath catching in her throat. ‘Yet another of your wife’s ex-lovers,’ she snapped angrily.
For a moment he looked stunned, although he recovered quickly. ‘What was his name?’ His voice was deceptively soft.
‘Why don’t you ask her?’ Kate scorned.
‘I intend to,’ he bit out grimly. ‘God, Kate, why are we arguing?’ he groaned, his eyes gently pleading. ‘I didn’t come here to talk about Coral, or your fiancé, or even my damn exhibition.’
She eyed him warily. ‘Then what did you come here to talk about?’
‘Us.’
‘Us?’ She moistened her lips nervously, watching him with suspicion. ‘There is no us to talk about, Brian,’ she reminded him. ‘I’ve already told you that once, three months ago when you asked me to be your mistress.’
He stood up, his expression anguished. ‘God, Kate, I made a mistake!’ he groaned. ‘I should never have given you up and married Coral.’
‘As I remember it, you didn’t want to give me up,’ she rem
inded him again, derisively.
‘I should have realised then that I was making a mistake,’ he muttered, running a hand through the thickness of his hair, the style such that it simply fell back into place, professionally cut to look windswept. ‘How could I ever have imagined I loved Coral when the thought of losing you nearly broke me up?’
She remained hardened against the ragged edge to his voice, remembering well the pain he had inflicted on her the last time she had allowed herself to feel love for him. ‘No one forced you to marry her,’ she said sharply.
‘No,’ he sighed. ‘At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. But I’m not cut out to be some sort of exhibit myself! Ever since we’ve been married Coral had been dragging me off to one party or another, introducing me as her artist husband as if I’m some sort of freak. And if I refuse to go there’s hell to pay! Now she’s come up with the idea that I should do a European tour,’ he growled.
‘Well?’ Kate couldn’t see anything wrong with that.
‘I’m all burnt out from this last one,’ he shook his head. ‘It would take me months of intensive work to even think about giving another exhibition, either here or in Europe. And you know how I hate to be pressurised, how I like to take time over my work, feel it, enjoy it.’
Yes, she knew that. She also remembered sitting in his studio night after night in total silence as he worked, going to parties on her own because he was so engrossed in his latest ‘masterpiece’ he didn’t have the time to go, being available and eager when he was in the mood for making love. She remembered all that, but it was no longer her concern. He was Coral’s husband now.
‘You always understood me, Kate.’ He was standing very close to her now. ‘Always knew when I needed you.’ His voice had lowered, become seductive, encouraging. ‘I’ve been a fool, Kate. Forgive me.’ His hands framed her face as he bent his head to kiss her.
She was too stunned at first to do more than accept the kiss in quiet stillness, to even respond a little as she realised this was Brian kissing her, the man she had thought never to be close to again.
And then her sense of indignity reasserted itself. How dared he come here and kiss her? What did he think gave him the right to do this to her again? He had made his decision, his choice, he had no right to come here now and try to mess up her life a second time.
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