Turning off the ignition, Eli looked at her, assuming that she’d touched him to get his attention because she wanted to say something. Kasey had been exceptionally quiet all the way home. He’d just thought she was too tired to talk, but since she’d touched his arm, he figured that it was to get him to center his attention on her.
As if all his attention wasn’t centered on her all the time.
Because she wasn’t saying anything, he prodded her a little.
“What?” he asked her softly, deliberately keeping his voice low so as not to wake the little sleeping passenger in the backseat.
Embarrassed, she could feel color rising in her cheeks. He would probably think she was crazy. “Nothing, just proving to myself that you’re close enough to touch. That you’re real.”
He looked at her, somewhat puzzled. “Of course I’m real. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked good-naturedly.
She shrugged, avoiding his eyes. After all he’d done for her, she owed him the truth, but she was really afraid that he’d laugh at her.
“Because sometimes I think you’re just too good to be true.”
Eli did laugh, but it wasn’t at her. It was at what she’d just said. Turning off the Jeep’s headlights, he removed his key from the ignition. “Obviously it’s been a long time since you’ve talked to Alma.”
This time, she did raise her eyes to his. “I don’t need to talk to Alma to know how good you’ve been to me. How kind. Trust me, Eli, you’re like the answer to a prayer.”
And you are all I ever prayed for, he told her silently, knowing better than to say something like that out loud.
“I think you might have had a little too much to drink,” he guessed, coming around to her side of the vehicle. Opening the door, he took her hand to help her out.
Shifting forward, she rose to her feet and found herself standing extremely close to Eli. So close that when she inhaled, her chest brushed ever so lightly against his.
Electricity zigzagged through her and she didn’t immediately step back. When Eli did instead, the sadness within her became larger, coming close to unmanageable.
“I didn’t have anything to drink,” she protested. “At least, nothing with alcohol in it.” She was still nursing Wayne, although he was beginning to favor the bottle. She had a feeling that her days of nursing her son were numbered. “My mind isn’t clouded, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she told him. “I see everything very clearly.”
And just like that, Eli was waging an internal struggle, wanting more than anything else to lose the battle and just go with his instincts. Go with his desires.
He came within an inch of kissing her. In his mind’s eye, he’d already crossed that bridge. But that was fantasy and the reality was that he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize what he had at this moment.
He pulled back at the last moment and turned toward the rear of the vehicle.
“I’d better get Wayne out of the Jeep and into his crib,” he said. “He’s had a pretty long day.”
She said the words to his back, knowing that if Eli was facing her, she wouldn’t have been able to get them out. And she desperately needed to. Her voice was hardly above a whisper. “Don’t you want to kiss me, Eli?”
Eli grew very rigid, half-convinced that he’d imagined hearing her voice. Imagined her saying words that he would have sold his soul to hear.
Releasing the breath that had gotten caught in his throat, he turned around in slow motion until he stood facing her.
Looking at her face in complete wonder.
In complete surrender. “More than anything in the world,” he told her.
It had to be the moonlight, playing tricks on his vision, but he could have sworn he saw tears shimmering in Kasey’s eyes.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
He could have said that he couldn’t kiss her because, technically, she was still Hollis’s wife. Or that he couldn’t because he didn’t want to take advantage of her, or the situation, or the fact that she was probably overtired and not thinking straight.
There were as many reasons to deny himself as there were leaves on the tree by his window. And only one reason to do it.
Because he ached for her.
Before he could stop himself, he took hold of Kasey’s shoulders—whether to hold her in place or to convince himself that she was real and that he wasn’t just dreaming this, he wasn’t sure.
The next moment there was no more debate, no more speculation. Because he was lowering his mouth to hers and waking up his soul.
His body temperature rose just as his head began to spin, completely disorienting him from time and space and hurling him toward a world of heat, flashing lights and demanding desires.
She tasted of all things wonderful. Unwilling to back away the way he was convinced he should, Eli deepened the kiss, thus temporarily suspending all rational thoughts and riding a crest of billowing emotions.
Tears slid free from the corners of her eyes. Eyes she’d shut tight as she focused on the wild, wonderful sensations shooting all through her like brightly lit Roman candles.
Kasey threw her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as she followed him into a world filled with the promise of wondrous, fierce passions.
Words like chemistry, soul mates and joy flashed through her mind at the speed of light, so fast that it took her a few moments to realize that she was experiencing everything the words suggested. Experiencing it and wanting more.
Craving more.
So this was what it was like, to truly want to be with someone. To ache to be one with someone. She realized that she’d never known it before.
In all the time she’d been with Hollis, in all the years she thought she was in love with him, she’d never felt anything even remotely like this. Never had this huge, overwhelming desire to make love with him—or die.
Never felt this physical ache that something was missing.
Even though it had been.
When the kiss ended, when Eli stepped back so that their bodies were no longer pressed against one another, they looked at each other for what seemed like an isolated eternity. Each was surprised that the longing insisted on continuing.
He shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. Shouldn’t have given in to his weakness. It was up to him to be the one in control.
“Kasey, I’m sorry,” Eli began, searching for words that would give him a way out, that would allow her to absolve him. Words that would convince her to continue staying at his ranch.
And then she said something that completely took his breath away.
“I’m not,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. His lips might lie to her, but his eyes never would. She could tell what he was really feeling by looking at them. “I’m only sorry that it didn’t happen sooner.”
Did she know?
Did she realize the power she had over him? He’d walk through fire for her and gladly so. He’d been in love with her since the world began.
He wanted to take her there. To make love with Kasey with wild, abandoned ardor right here on the ground, in front of the house. But that sort of behavior was for animals in heat, not a man who had waited in silence for more than a decade.
“We’d better get him to his crib,” Eli murmured, turning to unbuckle Wayne from his infant seat.
The little guy was so tired that he didn’t wake as he was being lifted from the seat, nor did he wake when he was being carried into the house and then up the stairs to his room.
Kasey followed in Eli’s wake, just in case Wayne woke up and needed her. But he continued sleeping.
Gratitude swelled in Eli’s chest. As he gently lay the infant in his crib, he whispered to him, “Thanks, little guy, I owe you one.”
He could have sworn that the baby smiled in his sleep just then. He knew that experts would claim that it was only gas, but he knew better.
Taking Kasey’s hand in his, Eli moved quietly out of the infant’s room and slow
ly eased the door closed behind him.
The second he was out in the hallway, he could see by the look in Kasey’s eyes that this was no time to tender any apologies or lay the blame for his previous actions on lack of sleep.
There was no blame to be laid.
Instead, though every fiber of his body begged him to just sweep her into his arms and carry her off to his room, Eli held himself in check long enough to ask Kasey one crucial, basic question.
“Are you sure?”
Kasey didn’t answer him. At least, she didn’t answer him verbally. Instead she threw her arms around Eli’s neck, went up on her toes as far as she could go and kissed him even more soundly than she had just in front of the house.
She made him feel positively intoxicated.
“I guess that’s a yes,” Eli breathed out heavily when they finally paused because they had to come up for air.
He was rewarded with the sound of her light laughter. It rippled along his lips, making hers taste that much sweeter.
Like the first ripe strawberries of the summer.
It was all he needed. The next moment he was acting out his fantasy and this time he did sweep her into his arms and carry her into her room.
Anchoring herself to him with her arms around his neck, she leaned her head against his shoulder, content to remain just where she was for all eternity—or at least for the next few hours.
As he came into her room, he didn’t bother pushing the door closed with his elbow. There was no one here except for them. And the baby was months away from taking his first step, so they were safe from any prying eyes.
When Eli set her down, the raw desire he saw in Kasey’s eyes melted away the last shred of resistance-for-her-own-good he had to offer.
Besides, as he’d carried her into her room, she’d pressed her lips against his neck, setting off all sorts of alarms and signals throughout his body. Making him want her more than he thought humanly possible.
Eli kissed her over and over again, savoring the feel of her, the exquisite, wildly erotic taste of her and the sound of surrender echoing in his head.
Unlike the sensations she’d evoked within him, the details of what transpired were somewhat sketchy. Under oath he couldn’t have recounted how Kasey and he went from being two rational, fully dressed people to two naked adults who had thrown all caution, all reason, to the winds.
Eli had always thought that if he’d ever be lucky enough to have an evening of lovemaking with Kasey, he would proceed slowly, affording every single part of her the time, the worship and the reverence it so richly deserved.
But somehow, even with the game plan still lodged somewhere in his brain, it had turned into a race. The eagerness he felt only intensified, growing stronger as his hands passed over her body, exploring, claiming.
Loving.
She was just as exquisite as he’d always dreamed she’d be.
And she was, at least for the night, his.
His.
If this wasn’t the perfect example of dying and going to heaven, then nothing was.
With each passing moment, as each sensation fed on itself and grew, Kasey found she was having a hard time believing that this was happening. That this was actually true.
Lovemaking with Hollis had always been about what Hollis wanted, about what turned Hollis on. Her needs, when she’d still had a glimmer of them, were just collateral. The way he saw it, he’d once told her with more than a few shots of whiskey in his system, was that if she should happen to climax, that was great. If she didn’t, well, women didn’t really need that the way men did.
Or, at least that was the philosophy that Hollis lived by.
And she had believed him. Or, more accurately, believed that he believed.
Until Eli.
Everything she’d previously believed—that she didn’t need to feel the kind of sensations, the kind of surges and peaks that a man did—they had been and continued to be all lies.
Lies.
Because what she was feeling, what Eli made her feel, was supremely, incredibly wonderful.
Moreover, it seemed as though the more she got, the more Eli aroused her, the more she wanted. Eli had opened up a brand-new, wonderful world for her.
A world she wasn’t willing to leave that quickly.
And when he kissed her all over, leaving the imprint of his warm lips along all the sensitive parts of her body, waking them up and making them come alive, she felt eruption after eruption. They were happening all along her body, not just within her very core.
What was this delicious sensation, this throbbing need that he’d brought out of her? And how did she get it to go on indefinitely?
But the itch for the final peak got to be too great, too demanding.
She was primed and eager when Eli finally stopped paying homage to the various parts of her whole and finally positioned himself over her.
Even this was a far cry from the way lovemaking had gone with Hollis—especially toward the end. With Hollis, she could never shake the feeling that she could have been anyone. That in the end, his partner didn’t matter to Hollis. He just wanted to reach his climax.
And, as for her, all she’d wanted at that point was just to get it over with. There was no romance, no excitement left between them. That had ended a long time ago.
Had it not been for Eli, she would have never known that her body was capable of feeling like this. That making love could be like this, all generosity, thoughtfulness—and fire.
And when they finally became one, Kasey was as eager to be with him as she sensed he was to be with her.
After the first moment, there was no time for thought at all. Because they were both hell-bent for the final climb. They took it together and shared the light show when they attained the top of the covert peak.
He made her breathless.
Chapter Ten
All too soon, the bright, shooting stars dimmed and the all-encompassing euphoria faded away.
Bracing herself, Kasey waited for the sadness to return, for the cold feeling to wrap itself around her like a giant snake.
Neither happened.
The sadness and the cool feeling were both kept in abeyance because Eli didn’t turn away from her, didn’t, after having her, withdraw and just fall asleep, the way Hollis, her only other lover, had. Instead, when Eli shifted his weight off her, he turned so that he was lying next to her. Tucking his arm around her, he pulled her closer to him.
A wave of tenderness made its way all through her. And it intensified when Eli pressed a kiss to her forehead with such gentleness, it brought fresh tears to her eyes. They slid out before she could stop them.
With his cheek against hers, he felt the dampness, and remorse instantly raised its hoary head, rebuking him. Taunting him that he had taken advantage.
Raising up on his elbow, Eli traced the path of the tear that had slipped out with the tip of his finger.
“Oh, Kasey, I’m so sorry.” The words sounded so ineffectual, but he didn’t know how else to apologize. “I shouldn’t have pressed—”
For a moment his apology threatened to slash apart all the wondrous sensations that had just come before, as well as the happy feeling she was holding on to now. But then she realized just why Eli was saying what he was saying.
In her rush to set him straight as to why she appeared to be crying, her words got all jumbled on her tongue, making little coherent sense as they emerged.
“Oh, no, no. I’m not— You didn’t— Do you think that I’m actually regretting what just happened here between us?” Hadn’t he been there? How could he possibly believe that making love with him could have upset her? It was the most fabulous experience in her life.
The way he saw it, what other conclusion could he have come to? That was a tearstain on her cheek, not a stray raindrop.
He looked at her, confused. “Aren’t you?”
“No!” she cried emphatically. How did she go about phrasing this? How did she make hi
m understand what he’d stirred up within her without incurring his pity? She decided if there was pity, she’d deal with that later, but right now, she needed to make him understand what he had done for her.
“Oh, my God, Eli, all these years, I never knew.”
“Never knew?” he echoed, not following her. “Never knew what?”
The corners of her mouth curved. The smile slipped into her eyes as it spread. “I never knew it could be like that.”
She debated a moment, wondering if she should continue. She didn’t want him thinking she was just an inexperienced housewife, but it was important that he understood exactly what this meant to her. To do that, she would have to tell him about what had come before.
“Hollis was never interested in…in holding me afterward. And, to be honest, he didn’t exactly take all that much of an interest in my pleasure, only in his.”
She paused, knowing that putting herself out there—naked—wasn’t wise, but she couldn’t help that. It was part of explaining what he’d made her feel and why. She didn’t expect anything in return for this baring of her soul, not his commitment or even the promise that this would happen again. But she did want him to know that he had made her earth move and she was grateful for what they’d just shared.
“I think I saw fireworks going off. I definitely saw stars,” she confessed with a soft laugh.
Eli threaded his fingers through her hair, framing her face, memorizing every contour, although there was no need. Every nuance that comprised her features was permanently imprinted on his brain.
Part of him still couldn’t believe that they had actually made love. That his most cherished fantasy had really come true.
“Me, too,” he told her.
God help her, she would have loved to believe that. Even so, she could feel herself melting again. Being stirred up again. There was something incredibly sexy about being on the receiving end of kindness.
She’d always felt that way. And never more than after she’d gotten married and learned to do without it. Hollis wasn’t knowingly cruel to her and he hadn’t abused her, but thoughtfulness, kindness, all that seemed to be beyond his comprehension.
A Baby on the Ranch: A Baby on the RanchRamona and the Renegade Page 10
