by J. Sterling
She pulled away from my lips. “Their what? What the heck is an MRS degree?”
“Spell it out. Say it.” I raised my eyebrows, holding back my laughter as I waited for her to catch the joke.
“M . . . R . . . S . . . Mrs.” She tapped her finger against her lip. “Oh my God, like they’re married? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’ve never heard that before, seriously?” I ran my thumb down her cheek, and her eyes closed in response to my touch. She was so pretty, and I didn’t think she realized at all how pretty she was.
“Huh-uh. Is that a real thing?” she asked, her eyes still closed.
I leaned forward and kissed her lips because I couldn’t resist them anymore. “It’s a very real thing. Some girls only go to school to find a husband.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said with a grimace, and I kissed her lips again. “What a waste of money.”
“Some people have more money than they know what to do with,” I said with a sigh.
“Like your dad.”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Like my dad.”
“I hate that he sets you up with girls. It sucks and it’s weird.” Her bottom lip jutted out in a fake pout, and I resisted the urge to run my tongue across it.
“At least it doesn’t happen very often, but I agree with you.”
“What happens if he tries to set you up now? Will you tell him no?” She leaned against my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around her lower waist.
“I don’t know, Jess,” I answered honestly.
My relationship with my father was beyond comprehension at times. I felt like I was living in a shadow I could never escape or outgrow. No matter what I did, I was always in the shade of his presence.
Jess moved slightly, angling herself more toward me. “Really? You don’t know?”
“First of all, he doesn’t do it that often. And second, I’ve never been dating anyone seriously when he’s asked me before. So I’ve never had any conflict or reason to say no.”
“Until tonight,” she deadpanned.
“Until tonight.”
“Will you get into trouble for walking out on Carla?”
“I took her out. I did what he asked, but I don’t know. What’s he going to do? Force me to date her?”
Honestly, I had no idea what my father would do, but I prayed he’d let this one slide. I would never date a girl like Carla otherwise. She was a grade-A pain in the ass, a total snob, and I hated even being seen with her tonight. But her dad owned a bunch of television stations, and my dad wanted that account more than he wanted anything else.
“Only if you let him,” Jess said matter-of-factly.
The truth of her words hit me in the gut like a sucker punch.
I knew I’d perpetuated the fucked-up situation between myself and my dad by not standing up to him. It had always been easier to give in, to cave to the old man’s requests. It was easier not to start an argument, not to make my mother upset, not to be blamed for everything that went wrong in the damn house all the time.
It was times like these when I really wished my brothers still lived at home so I had more of a support system. Or that my mom would help me out for once, but that would never happen. She hated rocking the boat as much as I did.
“You know, Nick—” Jess paused as if she was gathering her thoughts. “All the things he’s asked of you so far are little things. Insignificant, really, I’m assuming. But I can only imagine that one day it won’t be so insignificant, because it won’t be what you want. At all. I think there’s going to come a time, like a defining moment, when you know that if you agree to what he’s asking you to do, it will change everything. And it will be the moment there’s no coming back from. You know what I mean?”
Sledgehammer, meet chest.
Breath, meet your exit.
Heart, meet your doom.
I soaked in her words, allowing the cold, hard truth of them to enter my mind and swim around in there before drowning.
This was too much. Too much truth for one evening, too much feeling. Too much everything. I was desperate for a subject change, feeling oddly uncomfortable in my own skin.
“You’re right. But let’s talk about something else, girlfriend.”
“If you want, boyfriend.” She smiled slightly as she said it, but to me, it was enough to light up the whole room.
“I want. And I need to ask you something. But you have to say yes.”
She laughed. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
“Maybe I don’t play fair.”
Her face scrunched up as she crossed her arms. “Well, are you gonna ask or what?”
“We have formal coming up in a few weeks, and I refuse to go unless you come with me.”
I smirked, hoping she’d be unable to refuse. The truth was that I had to attend because it was a frat event and I was the president, but I’d hate being there if Jess wasn’t. I wanted her by my side.
“What’s formal? Like a prom?” She gave me a perplexed look.
“Basically a formal dance and dinner. We bring dates. It’s a lot of fun. We’ll have a good time; I can promise you that.”
“And we get dressed up? You’ll be in a tux?”
“A suit. But a really hot suit.”
“How could I pass up seeing you in a really hot suit? I’m there.” She smiled, and I loved knowing I put that smile there.
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
Jess leaped into my arms and moved to straddle me again. All thoughts slipped away as her lips met mine, sending my blood flow straight to my groin. When her tongue met mine, I instantly hardened and gripped her ass, and her hips moved slightly, grinding into me.
“Wait!” she exclaimed and hopped off of me as quickly as she’d gotten on.
“What?” I groaned, half wanting to die.
“Will David be there?”
David, the fucker who put his hands on my girl? “No.”
“No?”
“He was suspended from the fraternity today.”
“For how long?”
“I’m not sure yet. But I’m thinking permanent removal.”
“Really? When did this happen?” She sat on the floor and crossed her legs.
I moved from the bed and sat directly across from her. “This afternoon. I met with David and told him to get out before meeting with the rest of my fraternity brothers. I’m supposed to take a vote, but I overruled it.”
“What do you mean?”
“When something happens, we’re supposed to vote on the punishment. But I didn’t take a vote. I just told him to leave.”
I could have issued David a warning and allowed him to stay in the fraternity, but I knew I’d never be able to look at him without wanting to pummel him. And he needed to learn that his behavior wasn’t okay. I realized he was drunk out of his mind at the time, and he apologized profusely when he saw me later, but he needed to learn how to hold his liquor. Yeah, this was college and we all made mistakes, but that was one mistake I refused to condone.
My decision didn’t earn me any friends. The guys in the house were pissed at me over it. We were supposed to be a democracy and take a vote on whether he should be kicked out. When I removed him without the vote, they said I was making an example out of David because it was Jess he did it to. They claimed that if it had been some other girl, any other girl, I would have been more lenient, more willing to listen to reason.
I didn’t want to think about just how right they might have been. I wanted to believe that no matter who it had happened to, my reaction would have been the same, but the truth was that I didn’t honestly know. And I didn’t like the way that made me feel about who I was as a person.
There had been so much about my character that I’d struggled with lately that this only added to it. One more thing I needed to do some soul searching about, but I pushed it deep down inside instead. It was easier avoiding the hard truths than meeting them he
ad-on.
Epic Embarrassment
Jess
Nick and I had been officially dating for a couple of weeks now, and the death stares from other girls had pretty much stopped.
I knew the routine. They were probably biding their time until our relationship ended, which was what usually happened when it came to Nick and the girls he dated.
That fear stayed firmly rooted in the back of my mind at all times, that we had an expiration date. I wanted to think that this was different, that I was different, but what if that was how every girl felt when they were with him?
I assumed they must have.
I tried to keep my feelings within reason when it came to him, but I struggled. Everything Nick did made me fall for him more. The confident, arrogant guy I’d seen from afar was still both of those things, but there were so many more layers underneath those two superficial ones. There was much more to Nick than I could have ever imagined, and I found it hard to believe that he had shared the things he had with me with all those other girls as well.
Rachel walked through the front door and slammed it behind her. “Please tell me that Nick asked you to formal,” she shouted as she entered her bedroom.
I could have sworn I’d already told her that he had. I knew for a fact that I had told her; there’s no way I would have kept that to myself.
“What’s formal?” I shouted back to her, completely teasing.
“Shut up, dummy. I know Nick asked you. You told me already.”
“Then why are you acting like you don’t know?” I sat there confused as all hell.
“Because I’m going crazy right now.” She wrung her hands as she entered the kitchen.
“Why?” I asked, still not having any idea what her deal was.
“Because Trevor asked me to go with him.”
I squealed like an annoying girl. “Shut up! Wait a second, you and Trevor? Are you two back together? What happened with you guys last year, anyway?”
She smiled and squirmed a little. “I was an idiot. I broke up with him because I never thought he really liked me.”
“Wait, what? Anyone with eyes could see how crazy he was about you.”
“I always questioned everything. The parties, the other girls, the constant presence of the sorority girls. All of it. I felt like I was always competing for his attention, so I took myself out of the equation completely. It seemed easier that way, but it hurt a hell of a lot.”
Her admission shocked me. Rachel wasn’t the kind of girl who lacked confidence or seemed competitive like that—she was one of the fiercest girls I knew. I never realized that under her tough Latina exterior lay a girl with normal fears like the rest of us.
“I would have never guessed.”
“What can I say? I was an immature, idiotic freshman. Also, first year is super overwhelming. I didn’t handle anything that year very well.”
“It was a huge adjustment.”
I nodded, thinking back to how living on our own for the first time felt. To be honest, it was weird not having my mom around to wake me up for school, to ask me if my homework was done or if my grades were good enough. It was the first time I’d truly felt somewhat like an adult, minus paying bills and working full-time.
“Thankfully, he was willing to forgive me, and we’re trying again.”
“I always thought he was nice.”
“He is.”
When she gave me a dopey smile, I resisted the urge to tease her. Instead, I basked in the fact that she seemed happy.
“So, what’s formal like?”
“Pretty much what you’d expect, but with lots of sorority girls. Which is annoying because when you’re not one of them, you’re fully aware that you aren’t one of them.”
“Are they mean?” I asked, suddenly wondering what I had gotten myself into.
“Not really. You’re not in the Greek system, so they’ll most likely ignore you.”
“Okay then.” I laughed uncomfortably. “I’m excited about it, anyway.”
“You should be. You’ll have the hottest date there.” She waggled her eyebrows. “And now we can go shopping for dresses together.”
“Thank God. You know I can’t be trusted to shop alone.”
I was a terrible shopper. The second I walked through the mall doors, I wanted to turn around and go back home. While most girls seemed to live for all things fashion, I couldn’t care less about any of it. My style was definitely more comfort over anything else.
Rachel grinned. “You are a bad shopper. But you have cute fashion sense, even if you don’t realize it. You would have done all right for yourself.”
I shook my head, smirking at her assessment.
“All right, gotta jet to class. See you later.” She gave me a quick hug before running out the door.
Later that evening, I had my books spread out across the kitchen table, my laptop open, and handwritten notes everywhere. My cell phone beeped a text notification while I was in the middle of writing, but I ignored it. After the fourth text in less than a minute, I finally tore myself away from my studies to read it.
Please tell me you’re listening to KRAS right now.
I scrolled through the other texts to see they all basically said the same thing, demanding I turn on the radio. I jumped from my chair and hurried to the stereo in our living room to click the power button before turning the dial to the right station.
Nick’s laughter filled the living room.
“So, tell us your question for Grand Master Paz, Nick,” the DJ asked.
“All right.” Nick cleared his throat. “I was calling because I wanted to get your advice on something about my girl.”
His girl? Me? What on earth could he possibly want to know from a Compton rapper about me?
“Ask away, Nick. I’ll see if I can help.”
“Well, I was wondering if . . . How can I convince my girl to have a threesome with me? She isn’t into it, but I’d like to change her mind.”
My ears started to ring as his words reverberated through my head.
What the hell? A threesome? And he was asking this on the radio, where everyone in the general area could hear and was most likely listening?
I didn’t wait for Dickmaster Dickface’s response before I pressed the power button again, shutting it off, and started pacing back and forth.
My text messages blew up again.
Nice boyfriend.
Tell me you heard Nick on the radio.
Heat spread throughout my body as I fumed with my embarrassment. How was I supposed to study now with my idiot boyfriend’s question replaying over and over again in my mind? The texts just kept coming, so I shut my phone down in order to save its life, since each new message tempted me to see how hard I could chuck it against the wall.
Rachel rushed through the front door minutes later, and wrapped me in a hug before I could even say a word.
“I heard Nick on the radio when I was driving back from class.” Frowning, she pulled back to study me. “I’d ask if you heard, but I can tell that you did.”
“Hell yes, I heard. And I can’t stop hearing about it.” I pointed at my stupid cell phone.
“Has he ever talked to you about having a threesome before?” she asked softly, and I bristled.
“No! Never.” I moved back to my seat at the table and sat down. “I can’t believe he did that. I’m mortified.”
“Mortified? I’m pissed. I really am going to curse that boy before the year is through,” she threatened before breaking off into a Spanish-filled rant I didn’t understand.
“I’m sure I’ll be pissed in about an hour. Just give me time to get there.”
Anger came a lot quicker than I had anticipated. It mixed with the other emotions rolling through me, and within a few seconds, I was so upset I couldn’t even see straight. I felt so stupid.
“Are you okay?” Rachel asked as she sat down in the seat across from mine.
Shaking my head, I replied, “Not really
.”
“I’m sorry, Jess. This really sucks.”
I sat there staring at my homework on the table. Finishing it now was out of the question.
Finally, I said, “I think I’m going to go to sleep. No sense staying up when I can’t focus on anything other than his stupid voice asking that even stupider question.”
Rachel got up and headed toward her room. “I understand. Good night.”
“Night.”
I hated Nick for embarrassing me and for being so disrespectful. I was half tempted to turn my phone back on and call him, but I was still too shocked to think clearly, and I had no idea what I’d say to him other than yell and swear like some psycho girlfriend. Not that he didn’t deserve it, he absolutely did, but I wanted to maintain some semblance of self-control.
My emotions continued to swing between being pissed off and completely embarrassed, so I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, hoping for a sleep-filled reprieve.
I had tossed my cell into a drawer so I wouldn’t be tempted to turn it on and use it. Now as I walked across campus toward my class, I realized that I had left it at home, still turned off.
Nick’s easily recognizable frame was in the distance, and I watched as he altered his course to head in my direction.
Part of me wanted to turn around and run away from him, but I knew he’d only chase after me. And I couldn’t avoid him forever. People had already started to slow down as they noticed us heading toward each other like two trains meeting head-on. No doubt they’d heard all about Nick’s asshole request last night on the radio.
Once he was within a couple of feet, I raised my hand and smacked him across the cheek. Gasps filled the air around me but I tuned them out, my focus purely on the jerk-off in front of me. When a smirk spread across his face, I lifted my hand to slap him again, my anger only growing.
He grabbed my wrist and pinned it to my side. “Calm down, Jess.”
I squirmed, trying to pull my arm away. “Fuck you,” I spat, still trying to pull my arm out of his grasp, but it was no use.
“Jess, listen to me.” His voice was calm, almost soothing, and I wanted to hate him for his ability to be so in control while I clearly wasn’t. “Listen to me,” he repeated, demanding I do as he asked.
