by DD Prince
He had decided I was his as soon as he laid eyes on me, but it was as if his emotions deepened with each milestone. More love came at me from my possessive alpha dominator husband on a daily basis, especially since the baby came. He treated us both like priceless artifacts.
I carefully climbed in behind him, my C-section scar aching a little, and put my lips to his naked back. He carefully turned onto his back and put his arm around me so that he had her cradled on one side, me on the other, both of us wrapped up in his arms.
“My girls,” he whispered and he had such a peaceful smile on his face. I kissed his jaw and nuzzled in and put my head on his chest.
God, he was giving me the feels again. The look on his face, the love I felt.
“I love you.” I cried happy tears onto his chest and then, exhausted from being up almost all night with Carina the night before, I fell asleep on his chest, my hand on our baby’s back. I heard him whisper, “Love you more, baby girl.”
Four Weeks Later
Today is the day, my six weeks are up. I had my check-up and my doctor gave me a green light.
We can have sex tonight. Woo hoo!
I got the baby bathed and to bed. She had taken a big feeding so I was hoping she’d sleep for a bit.
I was freshly shaved everywhere that needed shaving and I’d put on a cute empire waist style silky nightie. It’d take some sit-ups and running to get my body back, but this looked kinda cute on me. I twirled in front of the mirror and he caught me. He stopped in his tracks inside the bedroom doorway and his eyes emitted heat as he took me in.
My face went pink.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” Tommy was moving toward me.
“How’s it going?” I asked, cheekily, tilting my head at him.
“Better now,” he started undoing his coffee-colored button-down shirt.
“Where’s the baby? She sleepin’?” He went for his belt.
How sexy is it to watch a man undo his belt when you know he’s undoing it in order to come at you and give you pleasure?
His hands were on me. My nightie went up, his hands went there, and my clit buzzed.
“No panties, fuck. You’re gonna make me come before my dick is outta my pants. Open those legs wide for me,” He tossed me back on the bed possessively. Wow. I bounced a little before he landed on me. I winced.
“What? I hurt you? Your incision?” He looked panicked.
“It’s okay,” I reached for him and kissed his chest.
His hands went to my hips, “Fuck you’re so soft and beautiful,” he said.
“You mean a chunky monkey?” I asked. He’d called Carina that the day before, because her cheeks were chubbing right up.
“No, you’re gorgeous. Look at you, my fucking beautiful baby girl. He kissed each of my hips and then he kissed my C-section scar.
He hated that they had to cut me open. He’d pampered me the past six weeks, making sure I wasn’t in too much pain while I healed, doing everything for me. Foot rubs, doing the laundry, even! He didn’t let Sarah pamper me the way she wanted because he wanted to do it himself.
“I missed touching you like this, baby girl,” he said, his tongue going between my legs, “Mm, so fucking wet and sweet.”
My head rolled back.
“Hold those legs wide for me,” he said, putting his fingers between my legs, “Let me see your pussy clench as you come.” I arched my back and it wasn’t long before I started to come under the onslaught of his fingers, knowing his gaze was on me down there, seeing the heated expression on his face.
“Hard, baby. I need you. Now,” I demanded.
He stared at my pussy, and then his eyes locked with mine as he licked me, back to front, his tongue hooking and then twirling at my asshole for a split second.
Whoa.
He slurped against my clit and I shuddered with the sensation. My fingers found their way into his hair. I held him to me. He wasn't gonna go anywhere, I didn't care if there was a nuclear explosion. I was gonna keep his mouth against me.
“Gonna fuck you now. You want me to fuck you sweet or hard?” I let go of his head. But I didn’t want to.
He got into position and then pushed, hard. So hard. God, it was awesome.
“Yeah, milk it baby. Squeeze your pussy tight for me. Squeeze my cock.” His thumb went to my ass again.
His dirty-talk was on point tonight.
I squeezed and he put his mouth to my ear. He made an “Mm” sound that vibrated against my ear.
I heard a gust of noise through the baby monitor on Tommy’s side of the bed (He insisted on getting up to bring her in when she woke in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I could swear he just carried her in, even when she wasn’t crying).
The baby was awake. I guess we’d finish up later.
I pouted. He rolled and headed for the bathroom, washed his hands, and then headed to her bedroom.
He changed her and then I fed her. After, we got back to “business”, finishing spectacularly.
Tessa
Two Months After That
I had joined an online dating site for people who were kinky. I know it sounds crazy and dangerous but I’m not ready for a relationship, I can’t even think about something serious. Yet, I’ve been thinking a lot about sex. I’ve been thinking about the kind of sex that goes on at fetish clubs like Fete.
A few weeks after the drama with Mexico and the rape, I was doing a lot of soul-searching. The only man I had ever had sex with, unless you count the rape, which I don’t count as anything worth remembering, (it was a violation, not an act of love or passion) was my husband. He was my first. But I’m in my 20’s. I’m not going to not ever have sex again.
And as bad as things went at that Vegas club opening, things I saw there got me more than a little bit curious about the spicier side of sex. I loved my husband. I liked sex a lot. But he was all I’d had. I had nothing to compare that to.
I started out with this profile, using a picture my sister took of me for a girls night out a few months before Jim died. I looked pretty good, I’d just gotten back into my pre-baby jeans for the first time, and so we got all dolled up and went out to celebrate.
Luc might have actually gotten pregnant with Nicky that night. Anyway, I created a profile a few weeks after that drama and learned a few things:
1: Just because you see a hot profile picture doesn’t mean the guy actually looks like that. I was cat-fished repeatedly. I started looking up the photos on a reverse photo engine and saw that a lot of the super-hot guys were actual male models or movie stars. Too many are trying to use romance novel covers or snippets of Michael Stokes’ photos as their photo.
2: Dick pics are now considered an ice breaker. WTF? I got half a dozen my first day. Okay, so this wasn’t exactly that Christian dating site, but really? Let’s have a conversation or two before you show me your junk.
I talked to a few guys over the app and it was fun but some of it was creepy and no one tickled my interest until a few weeks later and then I started talking to a guy. He was being real sweet, not overly sexual but sort of suggestive. It was a turn-on. He’d ask me questions about the books I like, the movies I own, the music that I want played as the soundtrack if someone makes a movie about me. He would ask me what I wore, to describe my favorite meal, to tell him what I’d dreamt about the night before.
He overuses emoticons a little bit and won’t share a pic (his profile pic is of his hands, playing a guitar, and his forearms and hands are seriously sexy).
I started talking to him via the app more and more often and it escalated to about a dozen or more times a day. Every time my phone made noise and I wasn’t alone, I got antsy and made an excuse.
The boys were keeping me busy but Sarah’s always trying to give me a break and Ed hired someone new at the restaurant so I’m only helping him out two days a week.
JAKEandNotASNAKE really caught my attention. He talked to me like I’m a person. Not a widow. Not a rape victim.
Not a little sister of dangerous men, or a platonic friend, but like I’m someone he is actually interested in.
We’d been dancing around the idea of meeting for a bit and I’m the one that pushed, finally. I’m going to meet him for a drink Saturday night.
We hadn’t gotten overly sexual in our discussions but he got a little bit descriptive late one night after a long few hours of constant texting. He told me he’s a dominant and likes to be bossy in bed. When he’s with someone, he likes to give orders around sex, around what she’ll wear, whether or not she gets to touch herself, etcetera. I got very excited about the etcetera part, got squishy in my panties just thinking about that notion.
I was honest, said I had only been with one man, it had been very vanilla, and that I was curious about the spicier side of things.
I hope that’s not a mistake. I hope Jim would understand.
***
I sat at the bar for about half an hour. Maybe Jake-not-a-snake saw me and something about me made him wanna leave. Maybe he thinks he’s not attractive enough for me.
Don’t hate me for sounding like a conceited bitch. I’m not a ten out of ten. I hate my chin and I’m too short. My hips and my J-Lo ass are too big, too. But as far as blind dates go, unless something about me really hits a nerve, a guy is probably gonna at least wanna talk to me.
I sat at the bar. A gorgeous redheaded guy with a bit of a Michael Fassbender vibe approached.
“How are you doin’ this fine evening?” he asked me, sidling up close.
“I’m good. I’m meeting someone,” I said.
He looked me over and shook his head, “Shame. That doesn’t work out, I’ll be here a bit.”
I flushed red a little bit. I was flattered. It felt good to have someone appreciate me appearance-wise.
But after a few more guys tried to pick me up, and one of them kind of creepily, I decided that maybe Jake couldn’t make it. Or, saw me and was disappointed. So, I was going to leave.
But someone, a guy who’d tried to pick me up in the bar, tried to grab me in the parking lot and force me into a car. It was a replay of the nightmare that got me raped and I was seeing my life flash before my eyes, when someone yanked the guy off me and beat the snot out of him and called the cops.
Zack Jacobs saved me.
And then, while he held the guy until the cops got there, Zack admitted he was Jake. I was furious, thinking my brothers were having me tailed, spying on me, but Zack explained he was still getting some intel from when he was investigating my brothers and part of that intel included our internet search history. Seriously? Get a good security program for your computer. You never know who is paying attention!
He had intended to stop the practice but caught the pattern on my usage and said he was concerned. I think he was nosy. And being a perv. I was looking up some crazy terms and it was embarrassing to think about someone knowing about that.
He tried to convince me that he actually was interested in me. I gave him the finger and took off.
He followed me and tried to ask me out by Luc’s door. That didn’t go real well.
“Tessa, please believe me,” Zack pleaded, “C’mon. Let me take you out to dinner.”
“Fuck you.”
“Can I text you for a bit? Keep talking, then? Maybe you’ll change your mind.”
I stood there and malfunctioned. He saw his opening.
He grabbed his phone and was doing something. I was standing against the door of my sister Luc’s house. She was babysitting my boys.
My phone made a noise. I lifted it from my pocket.
The screen was filled with silly emojis.
I rolled my eyes. He was really good looking. Tall, clean cut, but rugged. Sexy. Built.
“I’ll text you. Grovel for a week or two. Maybe then you’ll let me
take you out.”
“Why’d you leave me sitting there, Zack?”
He made a face, “I was waffling. Thinkin’ about all you’d been through, all…”
“My baggage?”
“No. Not your baggage. Your feelings. I didn’t want to toy with you, Tessa, serious. I just--- it’s been a long time since I felt anything like this and---”
“What the fuck?” That was Tommy, coming out of Luc’s, carrying Carina in her car seat. He was staring at Zack and electric bolts were shooting out of his eyes. They were going to melt Zack into a puddle of goo.
Shit.
Zack made an excuse and left. Tommy looked at me for an explanation, but I waved at him, “Don’t even ask.”
Some weeks later, Zack finally convinced me to let him take me out and it was a pretty phenomenal date. When we were at my door, him kissing me goodnight and making me go weak in the knees, my brother emerged from the darkness and put a gun to Zack’s head.
It was pretty dramatic and ended with me begging him not to hurt Zack. Tommy was furious, thought Zack was playing me.
“Pop took Jimmy from me. Don’t you take Zack.” was the line that got Tommy to lower his gun.
“Does Zack mean something to you?” Tommy demanded.
“I don’t know. He might. He could.”
“Get inside,” my bossy brother ordered.
I overheard his short chat with Zack.
Zack said, “Is that what I gotta do to get us through this? Be like Lex with Holly? Marry your sister?”
“Motherfucker, don’t think you get off easy. You decide to make me your brother-in-law you’ll be in my sights for the rest of your fuckin’ life.”
“You told me I needed to give you a good reason not to end our relationship.” Zack was obviously joking.
“You fucking with my sister’s feelings?” Tommy was clearly not joking.
“No, man. Not at all. She impresses the fuck outta me. I wanna get to know her better. See if there’s something.”
“You got at least ten years on her, Zack.”
Zack chuckled and I’m sure he was giving Tommy the ‘you’re a hypocrite’ look because there’s ten years between Tommy and Tia.
“All right, all right. Get the fuck outta here. I got my eye on you.”
I love my big brothers. Both of them. They are badasses who wouldn’t hesitate to pull a gun on someone to protect us (and more. I know this from experience. But their hearts are in the right places.
Dare
2 Years Later
We spent almost a year trying to get pregnant. It was hard on us, especially her. I started to wonder if it was a punishment for all I’d done wrong. My penance would be that I wouldn’t be able to give her kids. Maybe the baby Debbie aborted hadn’t been mine. Maybe I couldn’t even father a child.
The doctor said it was my wife that had medical challenges, not me, and that although it wasn’t out of the question, it would likely be difficult to get pregnant.
I was not relieved. She felt like a failure. It was so rough on her that I wished it’d been me that was the problem, because the way she beat herself up over it was hard to watch. If it were my fertility that was the problem, she’d have adapted. It was who she was; always trying to be what I needed.
After several months of trying, a pattern began where she’d be happy three weeks a month and then she’d get anxious, try to hide it, and then be in the dumps when she got her period. Month after month waiting to do pregnancy tests, getting her period despite fucking like jackrabbits.
And then she wanted to talk adoption, surrogacy, being foster parents, something. She had all this love to give and wanted to shower it on children. Our nieces and nephews adored her. She really was finding herself again. Laughing, living, giving me love in a way that I knew I’d never want anyone but her. She spent a lot of time with our nieces and nephews to get her fix, especially Tommy & Tia’s little Carina, who absolutely lit up every time she saw her Auntie Angel. We were the resident babysitters, after Sarah of course.
I wanted to give it more time. I wasn’t against raising kids that weren’t mine biologically or against having our bab
y carried by someone else, so long as we knew they were healthy and responsible, but we were still young; there wasn’t a ticking timer yet.
I was okay with waiting a couple years to see if we got our own baby the normal way first. I encouraged her to maybe go back to teaching, spending her day with kids, while we waited it out. We got along great. Life was beautiful with just the two of us for now.
She didn’t wanna wait, told me that if we couldn’t get pregnant, there were kids who needed parents now, and I gotta say, it thrilled me to no end when she put her foot down and got in my face about starting right away.
The sass was coming out more and more. More and more I got my sassy cowgirl from that bull riding video. My Angel still had fire outside the bedroom and she felt safe enough to show it to me when it really counted for her.
Of course I relented, bursting into laughter after her fit, which got her upset and made her throw a bigger fit. It was a good sign about her state of mind. She practically melted when I explained that my glee wasn’t over her frustration, rather her ability to let that show. She felt safe with me, safe to be herself. And she was everything I wanted.
Her face was red, “I don’t know what the fuck is so funny about this!”
I’d grabbed her and pinned her on the bed and she didn’t even show a shred of fear, “It’s not funny, it’s fuckin’ amazing.”
“What the fuck is amazing?” she’d snapped.
“Angelbaby, my beautiful wife. You feelin’ safe enough to throw a hissy fit and push to get what you want, to tell me how important something is from you rather than shrinking away with a ‘Yes, Master’. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful and I’ll do everything in my power to give you whatever it is that you want.”
