by Angel Rose
slowly. I glanced over into the living room and he was sleeping on the sofa. He opened one eye and noticed me standing there. He stretched his arms in the air, yawning then walked over to me.
I stopped and lowered my head. He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. His beautiful blue-green eyes gazed into my hazel eyes and my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t expect this reaction from
him and I felt safe and warm in his arms. He held my hand and escorted me into the bedroom. I undressed and slipped into my sweat pants and T-shirt. Michael had placed a bouquet of fresh
orchids on the night table. I glanced over at him and he smiled an apologetic smile at me. I was happy…so happy. He removed his T-shirt and left his sweat pants on. We laid down on the bed
together, and I turned my back towards him. He slid his body close to mine, spooning me from behind holding me by my waist. We both fell asleep holding hands without saying a word. I needed
him so badly to hold me. My guilt-ridden body was exhausted, and my heart was heavy from the truth I so desperately wanted to tell him.
CHAPTER 12
I woke up screaming, rolling out of the bed, and hitting the floor, face first.
I slowly squinted my eyes as I sat up on the floor.
“Jenesis, are you alright?”
I stared at Michael for a minute, totally incoherent, I just didn’t know if this was a dream or if I was really on the floor. I lifted my hand to wipe my nose. There was blood dripping from my nose and I could taste it on my lips.
“Jenesis, can you hear me?” Michael shouted as he shook me gently by my arms.
“Yeah…oh my God, what happened?” I shook my head as I tried to stand up to walk, my body trembling.
“I don’t know, you started screaming, then I heard a big bang and you were on the floor. My God, your bleeding…I was in the shower. Stand up… come here.” He pulled me up by the arms gently and lifted me up from the floor.
“Oh my God! I’m going to be late!” I shouted frantically as I stood up and sat on the bed.
“No, what are you talking about? It’s two in the afternoon. Your alarm didn’t go off for work. Your boss called. I said you had a stomach virus and overslept. She said she’s going to dock you a day’s pay. I let you sleep.
That’s why you’re still in bed, I mean, on the floor.” He was talking a mile a minute and at one point even seemed confused.
“Oh my God! I probably lost my job. Why are you here? Don’t you have to go to court?” I felt as confused as he did. I placed my hands over my face.
“Don’t worry about me. I don’t think your therapist isn’t helping you much. I set up an appointment for you with a different therapist. Dave gave me her number.” He sat on the bed with me gently placing his hands on mine and slowly lifting my hands off of my face. “We’re in this together.
Maybe we can talk about what happened with the pregnancy. Promise me you’ll get some help with this therapist. Her name is Dr. Baressi.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do right now…there’s just too much going on. I’m sad Michael…sad that we’re fighting at the wrong time when we need each other.” I felt the lump in my throat choking me. The tears flowed on overload, and I stood up on my tippy toes as I held him
around his neck gasping for air. I felt every emotion in my body unravel in one shot, from the miscarriage, to the lying, to everything…I was a goddamn mess.
“Look, I’m not going to lie…I was angry, I’ve never gotten anyone pregnant before, and it was like someone stabbed me in my heart. I worry about you, and I when I found out you were pregnant
and bleeding, I…I panicked. I love you so much…sometimes, I get this overwhelming feeling that I can’t control…I get angry, and I can’t see straight…I didn’t mean what I said…I’m sorry,
baby…I’m so sorry.” I was so relieved to hear that he wasn’t angry with me. I loved him so much and he didn’t understand that my nightmares weren’t the only thing that were bothering me…that
I was crying because I was going to do something so terribly wrong that I would pay for, for the rest of my life, and even though I didn’t get to go through with it, I felt just as guilty.
“Jen, Promise me you’ll go to therapy…promise me. I have to go to court. I have to go pick up Stephen Marquis. Dave and his entourage tried to have him rearrested, but they have no evidence
to keep him.” He sat on the bed and looked deep into my eyes. My heart hurt me, and I wanted to tell him every lie I’ve told, right there and then. I wanted to confess my sins. He leaned in and
kissed me softly on my lips, but I didn’t kiss him back…I couldn’t…I didn’t deserve his beautiful heart- shaped lips on mine.
“I promise. Michael…I love you, more.” I fell asleep when Michael left to court thinking about how fucked up my life was right now. How poor decisions can ruin your life forever. I needed my mother in my life. I didn’t have any guidance, and I wasn’t being smart about anything, from my
job, to my health, to my relationship with Michael or Dave. Life sucked right now…just too overwhelming to cope with it.
A couple of days passed and I told my boss at children’s services I wasn’t going into work. Little did she know, I would never return to work again. I wanted to talk to Dave. I wanted to work for
him again. No matter what Dave said and no matter how many times I rolled my eyes into my head as he spoke, he was right, this job was not for me. I called Dave to let him know how I felt.
“Dave?”
“Jen, what’s up?”
“I was thinking about what you said. I don’t want to return to work. I’d like to work for you again.”
“Really? Sure, you know I need you,” he said as he tapped his fingers rhythmically on his desk.
“Thanks, Dave. Can I start next week, I need some time to transition.”
“Next week it is. I have to go, we’ll talk later.” He hung up quickly. I felt relieved I didn’t have to return to work.
I wanted Michael to keep the miscarriage to himself and tell no one.
Michael agreed and decided that we wouldn’t tell Dave what happened. I didn’t have to tell Margaret anything, she wouldn’t tell Dave anyway. She was my confidant and I didn’t have to say it twice.
The next day, Michael and I were meeting Dave, Margaret, Eddie, and Tilly at the Barclay Center for a law enforcement convention. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay home and wallow in my
sorrows. I stood in the bed with the covers over my head. I heard my cell phone vibrate on the night table and reached for it. It was a text message from Tilly.
9:35 AM
Hey, I’m around the neighborhood. Can I stop by? Tilly
Sure, come on up. I’m up. J
“Hey sleepy head.” Michael kissed my nose. “Are you ready?”
I stretched my arms and wrapped them around his neck. “No…I want to stay home.” I kissed his forehead tenderly.
“Nope, you have to go, baby,” he said grabbing my breasts playfully with his hands and pushing his erection against my belly. I pushed him away.
“I’d rather stay in bed, if you don’t mind. I don’t feel well.” I gave him the sad puppy eyes look.
“Come on, Jenesis, I promised Dave and Eddie I would meet them there.
Margaret and Tilly are going.” He shook my shoulders playfully.
“How is that? When Tilly will be coming up to visit me any minute.” I covered my breasts with the blanket as Michael jumped up out of bed with his erection standing hard. I laughed and my
faced blushed. He still managed to shock me with his delicious but dangerous body part. My phone vibrated again. I reached over to get it but Michael grabbed it before me. He stood reading the text
while my mouth watered at the sight of him. His tight ass and ripped back made me want to slide my naked body up and down his delicious body.
“Looks like Tilly changed her mind. She ran into Margaret. She’ll see you
later. Now we have time for a quickie.” He walked over to the bed and pulled me by the legs making them hang over the side of the bed.
“On my shoulders baby, I want to fuck you and hear you scream my name.” He placed a condom over his large manhood and slid one finger inside of me, “Baby, you are so ready.” He spread my legs and slid his tip across my entrance then pushed gently until he filled me completely.
“You’re so tight, baby, God, I love it,” he whispered.
I stared, enjoying him enjoying himself. He was always so in to me and worshipped every part of my body. He rubbed his thumb gently over my throbbing flesh and sent my body trembling into
ecstasy. Oh the feeling of him touching me, inside of me, drove me wild. He held tightly on to my ankles as he drove into me harder and faster. He spread open my legs dropping them from his
shoulders and placing them over his arms. He slammed into me over and over until I arched my back, screaming his name as I came apart around him.
“Michael! I’m going to come!” I shouted.
“Yes, baby, yes! Come for me, come for me… hard!” He grabbed on to my legs, thrusting harder and harder until his own release ripped from his body. “Baby, yes, Jesus!” he leaned over me,
swallowing me whole with his mouth, pushing himself into me deeper. I couldn’t even breathe as his tongue invaded my mouth. My body was still trembling as he slowly kissed my breasts and
sucked on my nipples. My body was sensitive to his touch and I was still throbbing between my legs.
“Go clean up and come back, I have to taste you,” he said smiling.
“Michael, I don’t know if I can take it,” I said seriously, breathing erratically from the massive fucking that just took place.
“I want to make you come again, but in my mouth, I need to taste you…all of you.” I got up and went to the bathroom as he slid the condom off of him. I washed up with some sweet smelling
soap and sprinkled a little perfume between my thighs. I was so turned on and I wanted him to taste me. I walked back into the bedroom and he was sitting on the bed, still hard.
“Come with me,” he said.
“Michael, I’m naked. Where are we going?”
“The kitchen.” He grabbed my hand then lifted me and placed me on the granite counter top near the sink. I jerked a little as my ass touched the slick, cold granite. He kissed me tenderly and then
slid his tongue between my breasts. He stopped and left me panting to open the refrigerator door grabbed something and smiled.
“What are you doing?” I asked trying to get a glimpse of what was in his hand.
“Nothing, just adding some flavor to my favorite meal.” He licked his lips, and I almost came just staring at him. I swallowed hard. Chocolate. Pudding. I was so ready.
“Hmmm…” He pulled open the chocolate pudding, dipped his finger inside, and placed some on my belly button. His tongue scooped up the pudding and he swallowed in delight. “Open wide, baby,” he said as he spread my legs apart across the cool granite then placing a finger full of
chocolate pudding on my clit. His velvet tongue sucking and licking across my swollen flesh, as his beautiful eyes stared at me in pleasure.
“Hmmm…baby, sweet chocolate, my favorite.” He dunked his finger in the pudding again, sliding the pudding up and down my entrance. I moaned and skimmed my fingers through his hair, lifting
my bottom to help me reach my release. I loved the way he moved his tongue, up and down and in small circles on my pulsating tip. He slid his tongue in and out of my entrance, devouring me to
the point that I began to tremble. I thrust my hips back and forth, as his tongue worked me to no end. I couldn’t contain myself and my moans were becoming louder and louder. Michael loved to
hear me moan and groan and, every time my cries grew louder, the flicks of his tongue worked faster and faster to make me explode into his mouth. I grabbed onto his hair pulling it hard until
he swallowed me. I came hard and as I held onto him, he grabbed my hips and lifted me off of the counter, turning me around and pushing me against the granite counter, plunging into me from
behind. I lost all of my senses. His mouth intoxicated me, and I barely had the strength to stand and let him take me from behind.
“Baby, you make me lose my mind when I taste you. I want to come all over your ass. Hold on baby, here I come,” he whispered in my ear. He pushed into me hard as my breasts hit the cold
granite counter. His rhythm was steady and deep. I closed my eyes imagining the pleasure that radiated off of his face. I could see him biting his bottom lip and placing his head back in ecstasy.
His lips were humming a moan every time he entered me and pulled out. He plunged into me one last time then he pulled out on a yell, and I could feel the hot liquid spilling all over my ass,
dripping down the back of my thighs and sliding between my cheeks. He yelled my name “Jenesis! Yes, baby!” as I heard him sliding his hand up and down his shaft quickly. I never felt so turned
on in my life. I came again as he pulled out, I turned around to watch him, but I wanted more so I placed my finger on my clit and rubbed it until I climaxed again.
“Yeah baby, let me see you touch yourself,” he whispered as he slid his hand up and down his shaft tightly until the last drop glided down his tip. His head fell back in glory, and he glanced up
at me as I finished pleasuring myself. He licked his lips as his blue-green eyes gazed at me. My legs began to tremble when I cried out again as I came sliding my finger inside of me as I stared
into his eyes. We were spent and I felt weak and from the looks of it, he was, too. He walked over to me slowly and kissed me hard on the lips and whispered,
“Baby, what you do to me, it’s not fucking fair.” I stared at him, breathless, still wanting more. It just wasn’t enough what happened between us and I felt as if he was becoming my obsession, my
drug; everything I’ve been missing in my life and I felt that I couldn’t live without him…the way he took me to heaven and then brought me back down to Earth…and that feeling…was dangerous, very dangerous.
***
I decided to skip the expo and visit Dr. Logan instead. I never did see Dr. Barresi that Michael had suggested I should. I liked Dr. Logan and even though she was rich and beautiful, there was something real about her. I haven’t told her about the miscarriage and today was the perfect day
to let it all out. Sex with Michael felt different, especially when he told he wanted to fuck me instead of making love to me. I was shocked when he said that, but deep down inside, it turned me
on. I’m not a prude, but anything associated with a “good fuck” reminded me of my father and his whores. He hardly ever touched my mother…and she was beautiful. I didn’t want to feel like a
whore, but today I let loose, and it felt good and I didn’t want to feel guilty for “fucking” my husband to be.
I took a shower and got dressed, but this time I wore a white, short maxi dress with white pumps that Margaret gave me. I felt sexy and liberated, and I wanted to walk into Dr. Logan’s office
feeling confident while telling her my problems were just getting worse. The miscarriage I had was eating away at me and I feared the worst. What if I mumble something in my sleep? What if
he finds out? I’ve noticed that I don’t remember having the nightmares and now I was just waking up on the floor. That was new. That never happened before. This seemed more troubling to me
than anything and I was praying I didn’t speak out loud…about anything because this time, I might not be talking about my father, but the pregnancy.
I sat in the cab and headed towards Dr. Logan’s office. The streets were packed and the traffic was backed up for at least a half an hour. It was so nerve racking to see so many people everywhere. I
still can’t get used to all of the people in the city. I decided to get out and walk down the block to her office. The smell of hot
pretzels and roasted peanuts from a truck I passed reached my nose
and a feeling of despair stirred deep in my stomach. The same way I felt when I was a little girl on the way home from New York once while I was eating a soft hot pretzel in the back seat of my
father’s car. My father decided it was the right time to drink some more so he yelled and cursed at my mother the whole way home for forgetting to pack his water bottle which was really filled with
vodka. He smacked her across the face and cracked open her mouth. She bled so much I thought she would die.
“You stupid Bitch, you never remember anything for me, but you remember everything for that little shit sitting back there! Don’t you! Don’t you!” He said as he grabbed her by her hair and
slammed her forehead against the dashboard. I dropped my pretzel and curled up into a ball. How can a nine-year-old little girl protect her mother from the monster in the car?
A passerby bumped into me awakening me from my memory. I let out a yelp and stared at the stranger.
“Sorry,” a tall man in a grey suit said with a vigilant smile. He looked at me oddly then turned around and kept walking.
I stopped and looked around. I took a deep breath and held my stomach as I proceeded to walk down the block. I finally got to Dr. Logan’s office in one piece. Dammit. I felt like shit and now she would read it all over my face.
“Jenesis Heart,” I said to the red-lipped hussy who wore a darker shade of red today.
“One moment, please.” She shrugged me off, and I sat in the waiting area to avoid swinging my purse across her face and smearing her lipstick from cheek to cheek.
“Jenesis, you can go in now,” she said without looking my way. I got up, walked into Dr. Logan’s beautiful office, and sat on the leather sofa. She was standing by the window talking on her cell phone then turned around to acknowledge me and hung up.
“Jenesis, how are you?” she asked smiling as she walked over and hugged me.
“I’m okay…but I have something tell you.” I folded my hands together on my lap and stared into her beautiful blue eyes and I got right to the point. “I was pregnant, and I had a miscarriage.” It
