by Lori Wick
“I don’t need to ask how it’s gone,” Rebecca remarked as she joined Angel on the edge of the bed. The 15-month-old twins swarmed all over their mother. Their cries had ceased, but they clung to her as if she’d been gone for days instead of minutes.
“I was certain they were asleep when you left, but the moment the door closed downstairs, they called for you and then the tears began.”
Angel, who had only grown more compassionate as the weeks had passed, now sounded a bit testy. She wasn’t lacking sleep—the hour was early for her—but Rebecca caught the first note of frustration. She couldn’t blame her. The boys wanted only their mother. Dan was feeling some irritation as well and hadn’t been coming to see them very often. Rebecca’s friends adored the two little boys and would have enjoyed helping her, but unless the twins could see their mother or be touching her, they were not happy.
Rebecca eyed her friend.
“It was a good idea for me to get out, Angel, and I do appreciate your offer. I’m sorry it didn’t work.”
Angel shrugged. Rebecca still had the impression that she was angry.
“You still need to get out more, Becky. When the boys were little you could just let them cry, but they were out of their beds before I could even get down the hall. Had the door been open, they’d have chased you.”
Rebecca looked down at her sons. One was as dark as the other was light. They both had their thumbs in their mouths, and both looked sleepy. Rebecca knew, however, that if she tried to put them in their own bed, they would cry and carry on.
“I guess they’re just too young,” Rebecca offered lamely. Angel, not really knowing better, agreed with her.
“Well, I’m going to go put on a pot of coffee. Come on down when you can.”
“All right. Thanks, Angel.”
Angel stood, bent over, and kissed the boys’ foreheads in turn. Secure in their mother’s arms, they both smiled around their thumbs, but made no move to embrace Angel. She left without further word, but Rebecca’s heart was still troubled.
Boulder
“What do you do with things like the flood?”
“As in Genesis, with Noah and the ark?”
“Yes.” Travis’ voice was calm, but as usual when these weekly sessions with Robert turned to spiritual matters, he was tense. “Am I really supposed to believe that this man and his sons built a boat so large that it held two of each animal in the world?”
Robert sighed to himself. Travis was fighting so hard. His question was more than reasonable, but as usual they were diverted from the main issue, which was Jesus Christ and His work on the earth. Robert had this thought so often that he finally decided to voice it.
“Is that really what’s bothering you, Travis?”
“What do you mean?”
“Only that I’m not sure you really care one way or the other about the ark. I don’t think you want to believe anything God has to say.”
Such a statement would normally have made Travis angry, but not this time. “Maybe you’re right,” he admitted, “but I’m not certain I want to get into that right now.”
“I can appreciate that,” Robert told him, and carefully shifted the topic off God and Bible-related issues.
Some time later, Robert saw Travis to the door of his small apartment. They parted on friendly terms, but Robert felt a vague sense of dissatisfaction. The Lord was swift to remind him that Travis hadn’t been meeting with him for very many weeks; things would take place in His perfect time and not before. For the rest of the evening, Robert worked at committing Travis to the Lord.
Travis rode straight home from Robert’s, but as he moved down the main street of town, he couldn’t help but hear the sound of feminine laughter as it floated from one of the saloons. His mind had been on the evening’s conversation with Robert, but suddenly all he could see was Rebecca. It wasn’t as easy to envision her face these days, but the sound of her laughter lingered in his mind. And always the questions began. Where was she and why did she leave?
If he consulted Robert, that man would say that all things were ordered by God. But Travis wasn’t buying it. What kind of God would let Rebecca leave him? What kind of God would order that type of pain? He’d been given no choice but to give up looking for her; it was obviously fruitless and caused too much pain, but his heart still thought of the possibilities. She could be dead for all he knew, or maybe she needed him but had no way to get home. Travis had to push the painful thoughts from his mind.
As the horse’s hooves moved Travis farther out of town, he slowly shook his head. Robert also wanted him to believe the Bible, which taught things too fantastic to be real, such as God coming to earth as a man in order to save a sin-sick world—one that didn’t want Him in the first place. Travis’ doubts were so strong that he wouldn’t even consider the possibility.
The stable, yard, and house were quiet as he made his way inside. There was a light under Lavena’s door off the kitchen, but all else was black. The house had become a near extension of himself, and he needed no lantern to find his way to his room. As he often did, he hesitated on the threshold and let his eyes stray down the hall. At times he would visit Rebecca’s room, but tonight he wasn’t up to it. He didn’t feel up to anything but sleep at the moment. With an effort he pushed both Robert and his wife from his mind and took himself off to bed.
The letter began “Dear Robert,” as it usually did, and although letters from Eddie were always wonderful, it only took a few sentences for Robert to see that something was very different.
“I have some incredible news for you,” she began. “We’re moving to Colorado. I can hardly believe it. My Uncle Mitch was just in touch with my father for the first time in many years, and he asked my father to join him in business. I nearly fainted when Father told me the business was in Georgetown, Colorado Territory.”
Robert wanted to keep reading, but his hand was shaking too much. She was coming! Eddie was coming. She would not be on the East Coast, but right here in his area, accessible and hopefully wanting to see him as much as he wanted to see her. Robert’s eyes slid shut with a prayer of thanksgiving before he eagerly read on.
“Father wrote Mitch that we’d be with him this summer. Mother has already begun making lists and informing friends and neighbors. Father has talked to a man about buying our house. We’ve lived many places, but never that far west. We’re all very excited, but a little nervous too.”
Again Robert had to stop. It was too wonderful to be true. He was in his office at the bank and would have sat for hours just dreaming about the possibilities when a knock sounded at the door. He called a carefree welcome from his desk, but his jubilant mood was quickly snuffed out when he saw Travis’ pale features.
“What is it, Travis?” Robert rose and asked immediately. “What’s happened?”
“My new man, Morgan, is dead,” he told him, his voice low. “He must have been drinking, fell off his horse, and landed against a rock when he tried to come in last night. The boys found him this morning.”
Robert opened his mouth to speak, but Travis cut him off, his voice low with fury.
“Is this the way your God does things, Robert?”
Robert said nothing, but even if he had, Travis was in such a cold rage he would never have heard.
“He was only 18. What’s the point of a young man like that dying? He left his family in the East to come here and make a life for himself. He planned to send for his mother and sister when he was settled, and now they’ll never see him again.”
Robert’s eyes flicked to the clock. It was just past 1:00, and he wasn’t done until 3:00. He was certain, however, that his teller would be able to handle the afternoon customers.
“Why don’t we head up to my apartment, Travis? We can be more private there.”
“No,” Travis replied coldly. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You’ll only offer excuses that I’m not foolish enough to buy.”
Robert stood very still a
s Travis walked back out the door. He could chase after him and try to reason with him, but the timing was all wrong. Travis wasn’t ready to listen. Robert was beginning to think he never would be. A customer’s request called him out of the office not five minutes later. He was forced to put Travis into the back of his mind. He determined, however, that whenever Morgan’s services were held, he would be there. Maybe that would be a better time to try to talk with his friend.
Pine Grove
Preston Carwell was a patient man; there was no denying that. He had not given Angel the rush act but still made it very clear that he was interested. It had taken months for her to see that it was true, and he could tell by her face that she was still in the process of figuring out what she was going to do about it.
Many of the men he worked with took physical love where they could find it, but it had never been that way with him, or Angel for that matter. Over the years many young dancehall girls had made it more than clear they would welcome his interest, and Angel’s looks always drew male attention, but neither of them ever fell into casual affairs.
The night he’d been asked to have dinner with Angel and Rebecca had been the first of many, but it wasn’t the first step to further intimacy he had hoped. Indeed, for a time he felt he had to be more careful than ever. One day he decided to lay his cards on the table. He hinted that Angel should visit his newly built house sometime, but she never came. He now took the plunge and asked her outright, not only to see the house but also to join him for dinner. He stood absolutely still when she said yes and walked away. He might have stood still all night if Dan hadn’t asked him a question. The younger man looked at him oddly for a minute but didn’t press by asking Preston what was wrong. Preston was relieved to finally make his way back to his office where he wouldn’t have to hold his detached expression in place. There he could give way to his emotions: too excited not to let it show on his face, but also too afraid to hope.
Boulder
Pastor Henley, a man Robert admired tremendously, held the graveside service for Morgan Sears. Robert knew it couldn’t have been easy because the pastor didn’t know the young cowboy, but he did a fine job. Robert recognized the hands that turned out from the Double Star, along with Lavena and Lucky’s wife, Margo. They were all visibly shaken. Lucky’s face was pale, his eyes somber, but Robert noticed that most of the other hands headed for the saloon as soon as they could get away. Only Lucky hung back, seeing his wife and Lavena to a waiting wagon.
Travis held back as well, standing quietly by the grave. Robert watched as Pastor Henley went forward and spoke for several minutes to Morgan’s boss. When the pastor moved off Robert approached, watching for signs that he might be intruding. Travis turned when he came close, yesterday’s anger gone from his eyes.
“Hello, Travis,” Robert said softly.
“Thank you for coming, Robert.”
“Certainly. I only wish I’d known Morgan. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I’ll be writing to his mother. She’ll be glad a few were here.”
Robert nodded, and both men looked down at the box waiting to be lowered into the ground.
“Andrew Wagner died,” Travis said quietly to the ground. “I was his foreman. He left me the Double Star.” Travis’ eyes finally came to Robert’s face. “I don’t have more than a handful of things to send to Mrs. Sears.”
“She’ll appreciate the gesture nevertheless,” Robert said, feeling the words were inadequate.
“Pastor Henley talked to me.”
“I noticed that.”
“He invited me to church.”
“Did he?”
“Yes. You never have.”
“No, I haven’t,” Robert admitted. “I’m sorry. It was foolish of me to assume that after our conversations you wouldn’t want to come.”
Travis’ eyes went back to the grave. I wouldn’t have believed two pastors could be so different. Pastor Henley and Pastor Craig. Pastor Craig turned my stomach, but Pastor Henley is like Robert, a man who doesn’t put on a show but believes what he preaches.
Travis’ mind ran riot for several minutes as he tried to come to grips with the pain in his heart. He didn’t know why he accused Robert of never asking him to church; he wouldn’t have gone anyway. As though he had no control over himself, Travis turned back to Robert. He heard himself asking when the service started on Sunday.
“Eleven o’clock,” Robert told him simply. “Do you need to head home right now, Travis, or can we go for some coffee at the hotel, and maybe a bite to eat?”
Travis shook his head. “Thanks, but I do need to get back.” Robert watched as the black hat went back on his head. “Maybe I’ll see you Sunday.”
Robert nodded and smiled. His hand came out, and Travis gripped it firmly. Their eyes met for just an instant, but it was enough. Church or not, Robert Langley would still be his friend.
21
On Sunday morning, Travis’ face was nearly as pale as it had been in the Boulder Cemetery. He came into the church just before the service began, spotted Robert, and slipped into the pew beside him. The banker’s heart went out to him, but surprisingly enough, when the singing was over and the sermon began Travis seemed more relaxed. Robert wondered if he had had visions of being called on to sing a solo or stand and give his name. Again the older man’s heart squeezed with sympathy. He was also sensitive when Pastor Henley asked the small group of worshipers to open their Bibles to the book of Job. Robert shifted his Bible so Travis could follow along.
“I’m going to read from all over the book today, but before I do that I’m going to remind you where we have been with Job. In the space of just minutes, Job lost his children, flocks and herds, and most of his servants as well. Later he lost his health and even his friends turned against him. Now keep all of that in mind as I read from various chapters.
“Chapter 1:20, 21, and 22 start us out. ‘Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”’ In chapter 2 he said this to his wife, ‘Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?’ Then 19:25 and following says, ‘For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.’ And 28:24 says, ‘For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven.’ Now to chapter 33, verse 12, which states clearly that God is greater than any man. Verse 13 says God does not give account of any of His matters. In other words, He doesn’t have to ask our permission for anything.
“And now some of Job’s last words in the book, in chapter 42, ‘Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withheld from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? Therefore have I uttered that which I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.’ ”
At this point Pastor Henley took a moment to catch his breath, his eyes scanning the attentive faces in the pews. He went on with quiet conviction.
“Some say that Job was God’s plaything. Some say that Job was one of the biggest fools alive. But I say Job was one of the wisest men to have ever lived. The loss of his family must have been painful beyond anything I have ever experienced, but Job recognized something of extreme importance. He recognized that were it not for God he would never have had anything to begin with. He understood that God alone had the right to claim everything as His.
“We can fight God, my friends, but it is pure foolishness. All we have is from God’s hand alone. We must come to a point where we love and accept this. God allowed Satan to take things from Job, but God was still in control. Not Job, but God. Job was able to grasp this, and even though he had heartache over his loss, he knew that his lif
e had great purpose.”
Pastor Henley continued, but he had lost Travis. Travis still didn’t know why he’d come into town. All the way to the barn, and then while he saddled Diamond, swung into the saddle, and started for town, he had told himself he was a fool, but still he kept on. It had taken the first notes of music to propel him inside the building. He had been standing and looking at the outside of the church, never once understanding what it was all about.
I’m fighting God, Travis now thought to himself. Why did I never see it that way before? I’m fighting God with all my strength. The thought so stunned him that he couldn’t even think.
Robert sensed something had happened and turned to look at him, but Travis was in a world of his own. His face was pale again, his eyes focused on the man up front without really seeing him.
Travis stood when it was time for the last song and prayer, and Robert watched as he solemnly shook the pastor’s hand on their way out. In a quiet voice, Travis agreed to Robert’s offer of going to the hotel for lunch, and Robert was thankful when they had taken their seats and he could finally question him.
“Are you all right?”
Travis really looked at him for the first time. “I don’t know. I discovered something about myself this morning, and I’m still thinking about it.”
“Can you tell me?”
“Yes. I’m fighting God.” There was wonder in his voice. “I don’t know why I never saw it before, but that’s what I’m doing.”
Robert nodded. “I’ve done that at different times in my life,” he admitted.
Travis was so taken with the admission that he unconsciously leaned forward across the table. “What did you do about it?”
