by Emma Vikes
“I meant that I had to base what I was saying off of something….. And I couldn’t lie.”
She sounded breathless as she said those words and I stood still in front of her, a few steps away, staring at her as she stared back at me, the same desire sparkling in her eyes. My heart raced erratically again and I remembered the way she had moaned beneath me. Her touch had ignited a fire that couldn’t be put off no matter how desperately I tried. A part of me was begging me to stop, that Alexa and I had already crossed a line; there was no need to cross it again.
But…
We had already crossed the line.
Why stop now?
I took the steps that separated the two of us and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me, making our bodies press against each other for the second time today. Alexa gasped at the sudden change of pace and she looked at me, hazel eyes wide with delight.
“Why lie?”
11
Alexa
“Why lie?” Everett whispered the words close to my ear, his breath tickling my skin as he spoke. My eyes fluttered close, my stomach in tight knots, my heart beating faster than that of a galloping horse. The desire to have him only turned stronger as I felt his cool hands dip underneath my shirt. His thumbs graced the outline of my breasts and a moan escaped my lips, the sensation making my toes curl. “Do you want me, Alexa?”
I do. God, I have never wanted anyone like I want him right now.
But it was as if something was lodged in my throat and I could barely speak. So instead, I grabbed his face and kissed him. It was as if something had been unlocked from within me and another part of me had been released. I jumped onto Everett and locked my legs around his waist. He chuckled at the sudden tenacity and pulled away for a moment, only to remove both our glasses and set them aside.
Everett touched my face with both hands, his eyes almost a cool black as he stared at me, jaw clenched as he continued to regard me. “You have the most beautiful eyes, Alexa Stone.”
I sucked in a breath as he carried me and laid me on the bed, his eyes never leaving mine. And then his gaze flickered down as his hands gently pried off the shirt that I was wearing, pulling it off of me. I was naked under his curious gaze which flickered from the top of my head and slowly descended down, down, down and I gasped when his head dipped, lips latching on to my right breast, his hand playing with the left one, fingers rolling the sensitive bud.
It was as if my eyes were rolling backwards in pleasure, the heat from my core spreading all over my body, and I never wanted him to stop. Everett moved lower, his thumbs hooking on to the waistband of my sweatpants and in one swift motion, he pulled my pants down along with my underwear.
I heard him suck in a breath and I hoisted my body up a little and watched as he marvelled at the sight of me. He visibly swallowed and then I gasped in sudden surprise when I felt his cool fingers dip into my core. “Everett!”
But Everett seemed deaf at the moment, lost in his own euphoria as he moved his fingers inside of me. I watched as his own hand was inside his jeans and I could see him masturbate as he pleasured me.
And then abruptly, he stopped.
“What the hell?” I complained, sitting up. Everett stood up and without saying anything, removed his jeans and boxers, his dick springing up. Fuck. It was a sight to see. My eyes lingered on his cock and then moved upward, staring longingly at the hard stomach that I wanted to run my tongue on.
Slowly, Everett moved back to me and his lips found mine. It was as if our mouths were dancing in a solemn tune, lips moving slowly against each other, like a moth dancing cautiously around a flame. He pushed me gently on the bed, kissing my mouth and then moving to my face, peppering me with light kisses as he moved down, his hands caressing my body.
And then I heard a package rip and my eyes fluttered open. I watched as Everett tried to put on a condom. I got up slowly and crawled to him, my fingers deftly taking the small pack from his hands and without a word, I slid it on his cock, my nails grazing the side gently and I smiled inwardly when I heard him groan.
Everett and I stared at each other, gray meeting hazel. “Sure?”
His voice was so quiet and gruff that it was hard to imagine the Everett that I’d been working with for so many months saying that one word. It was as if the entire atmosphere had transformed him into a different man. Slowly, I nodded my head and laid back down, my head hitting my soft pillow while Everett hovered above me.
He dipped his head again and gave me a soft kiss on the lips before I felt him near my vagina. My eyes closed and I clung onto him, fingers digging into his shoulders as he pushed himself inside of me, slowly, and then he was fully in me.
And it felt so damn good….
I gasped, my head hitting the window of the bus that I was in.
Shit.
Looking around, I realized that there were only a few people on the bus and most of them were sitting up front. If I had been moaning or making sounds, no one would’ve heard me, hopefully. With a sigh, I rested my head on the window, watching the houses that passed by as the bus drove me to the stop in front of the apartment that my family was living in.
I was back in Charleston, North Carolina for the holidays and I hadn’t gotten the time to talk to Everett over what had happened between us that night. As soon as he woke up the next morning, he rushed off, telling me that the research institute needed him as soon as possible and that he wouldn’t be back at the department until Thursday. That was also the same day that I had to leave for my holiday break. I wasn’t sure if it was just coincidental or if Everett regretted what had happened and was trying to steer clear of me.
But he promised he’d call and you haven’t been answering, Alexa.
Before Everett left my apartment that morning, he promised me he’d call me as soon as he found time. For two days, I hadn’t hear anything from him and then he called me just as I landed in North Carolina and I wasn’t able to answer then. That night, he called me again but I chose to put my phone on silent and ignore his calls as well as his text messages.
The truth was, I wasn’t sure what we were meant to talk about.
If we were to discuss about us having sex that night, then what? We were in a fake relationship meant to fool his family so that they would stop bothering him about his personal life. I agreed to do it because I did like him and wanted to satisfy my longing for a relationship, even if it was with a fake one. What better way to satisfy my needs than to have a fake relationship with the guy that I was badly crushing on, right?
After the wedding, this would all come to an end. The last thing I needed was to compromise the situation and put the friendship that I had with him at stake.
My phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket to read the text. I pursed my lips when I read the name.
The case we’ve been working on has come to an end. It’s a neat way to cap off the year.
Come home soon, Lexi.
x.
Everett
I closed my eyes and locked my phone, stuffing it into my pocket again, unsure of how I was meant to reply to him. It was a relief that the trial for the victim had come to an end and that the New Year would bring us a fresh new case to work on. But the last statement wasn’t something I knew how to reply to.
What was I meant to say?
I’ll come back to you soon, Everett.
What then?
The bus reached my stop and I got off, carrying the groceries I had bought, struggling a little. I climbed the stairs to the third floor and then fished my keys out of my pocket and opened the door. Ma and Aaron were inside and I could hear them in the bathroom. It sounded like she was giving him a shower.
“Hey you two,” I greeted them, poking my head into the dim bathroom. Aaron squealed in the bathtub at the sight of me, grinning like crazy and I stared at my little brother. He was seventeen, almost eighteen, but he acted like he was a little kid, his hand flapping around like crazy in the bathtub and
splashing the water all over. He loved bath time and to be honest, Aaron seemed to love everything, because he was always so happy.
“C’mon, sweetheart, let’s dry you up and change,” Ma said, her voice so gentle and patient. I helped him out of the bathtub and handed Ma his towel. Once he was all dried up, Aaron wrapped the towel around himself and ran to his bedroom to change.
Aaron knew how to do the basic things for himself, but still someone needed to be there to make sure that he was alright. It was hard to leave him alone, and since we found out about his condition, someone always had to be there for him to make sure that he didn’t get into any trouble by himself. During my middle and high school years, I took care of him at night as Ma worked the night shift at a café. When I got older, she quit her job to take care of Aaron full-time.
Once, when he was about ten years old, I woke up in the middle of the night to drink water, and found that our door was unlocked. Scrambling to figure out what had happened, I realized that Aaron had left our apartment. We went crazy with panic, my parents and I looked for him all around. We finally found him petting a cat outside, in blissful ignorance. After that we always made sure to lock the door, and Dad installed a deadbolt to make sure that it didn’t happen again.
With Aaron, we always had to be vigilant.
“Ma, I bought groceries,” I said. I went back to our living room and turned on the TV, making sure that it was on the cartoon channel. I also began to set up his coloring books and art supplies that would keep him occupied for the rest of the day.
“You know you didn’t have to,” Ma replied, watching as Aaron rushed to the TV. I looked at my mother. She was old and tired and the bags under her eyes weren’t getting any lighter.
“It’s for Christmas dinner,” I said with a shrug and then I placed my hands on her shoulders, lightly brushing the back of my hand on her cheek, “and do you still have enough medicines?”
She nodded her head and then took my hand in hers. “You worry too much, Alexa. Save a little bit of money for yourself too. You live alone in a different city. What you give us is enough, sweetheart.”
My parents didn’t make me feel obliged to give them anything. To be honest, when I told them about the job in Irving, they told me to go for it because it would be best for me, that I needed to save money for myself and for my future. But all I kept thinking about was them. Dad was a cab driver and whatever money he made was budgeted for food, the bills, Aaron’s medications and the rent. I had paid for Aaron’s medication and split the rent while I was still working here. Since when I moved to Irving, I still made sure to send half of my pay check to them, for whatever it could suffice for.
“Ma, how many times do we have to discuss this?” I said softly. “What matters most to me is that you guys are okay here. I can get by on my own with whatever I have. Weren’t you guys the ones who taught me to be content with whatever I have?”
“But being content is different from settling for what you have, Alexa,” Ma replied sternly, looking at me with tired eyes. “You’re at the start of your life, Lexi, enjoy your youth. Find love. Do things that you enjoy. Make mistakes. That’s all I ever want for you, my dear.”
She touched my cheek, her eyes watering as she stared at me. “You deserve it.”
In that moment I wanted to cry and tell her about Everett, how there was this guy that I worked with who was slowly thawing the heart that I was desperately trying to harden. I had flung myself into an ocean, knowing that I couldn’t swim, and I slowly was.
But the door swung open and Dad strode in and Aaron rushed to hug our father. I stayed where I was and watched as Ma moved slowly to the two of them and kissed Dad on the cheek.
I remembered when I was younger and didn’t know better, at a time when I was very insecure about our situation, I had asked my mother why she had chosen a man who could only drive a taxi for a living. I remembered how my mother had looked at me with gentle eyes and said quietly. “I love him. He loves me. The life that we have may not be ideal but we love each other unconditionally and that’s what matters most. No matter how life turns out to be, true love stays. The life we have is difficult, Alexa, and your father or I could’ve walked out. Another person would’ve. Your father stayed, so I did too.”
Dad looked up and met my eyes and beckoned me to come closer and I did. I wrapped my arms around him. I hadn’t seen him in two days because I was asleep whenever he arrived and he was already gone every time I woke up. I closed my eyes and inhaled my father’s familiar scent and I felt him kiss the side of my head gently.
In that moment, Everett crossed my mind and what I said to him the first time that we had met.
I hope we find the courage within ourselves to do the things that make our heart flutter, even if it’s momentarily.
At a young age, I had a clear understanding on how my life was going to turn out to be. When my parents’ time ended in this world, I would be the only person in the world that Aaron had. When I was a teen, I had wanted to find love just like Olivia. Find the right person who was willing to be with me despite my circumstances. But high school was hardly the right place to find a long-term relationship. But even as I grew older, I still craved for that chance.
I had found something of the sort with Everett. But he treasured his career and it was his top priority. I treasured mine because it helped my family, because they were my priority. What we had with each other was just that, a momentary relationship that made my heart flutter.
But there was a part of me who knew that we were also veering into dangerous territory and I had to pull the breaks before we sunk deeper into this mess that we had created for ourselves. Before it was too late.
Because we had already given each other the satisfaction that we had craved. Nothing more, nothing less.
We weren’t meant for the long run.
And the last thing I needed was to risk my heart just to have it broken into shambles.
12
Everett
Alexa was coming back to Irving today.
She hadn’t replied to most of the texts that I had sent while she was away, but she did answer my call on Christmas and on New Year and informed me about her flight back home. We mostly talked about work and I also told her about the details of Eleanor and Leo’s wedding, and that I had already paid for her bridesmaid dress. She told me she’d pay me back but I told her that it wasn’t needed, that she was in this mess because of me and it was the least I could do.
But there was something off about Alexa on the phone.
She had told me that she had wanted to spend her time off of work, catching up with her family. I understood that. Alexa had spent months working away in the department, and had even agreed to help in the morgue when she was asked to by Dr. Webber, as long as she was compensated. She would’ve been burned out and needed to recharge at home.
But she could have taken the time to send at least one reply, right?
Maybe she wasn’t tired. Maybe she was bothered by how you just left her apartment after having sex with her, Everett.
My eyes fluttered close in annoyance. I had meant to talk to her about it the following morning but the research institute had kept calling me nonstop. So whatever discussion that Alexa and I needed to have had to be put on hold until I finished my work. But the work extended for almost two days and by the time I got back to the department, Alexa had already left on her break. I wasn’t able to get a hold of her till the phone call that we had over Christmas and New Year.
As much as what had happened that night was mutual, I couldn’t help but want to apologize for leaving her first thing in the morning.
“You look like the coffee is giving you constipation,” Julian said, sauntering into the kitchen, clad in a white towel. His hair was still wet from the shower and his upper body still glimmered with droplets of water, as if he hadn’t bothered to dry himself before heading down. “Want waffles?”
As much as I wanted to scold him, the fact that
he was making me breakfast stopped me from doing so. It was a silent agreement between Julian and me. As long as he fed me, I wouldn’t get in his way. The fact that he was making waffles meant that there must be a girl in his room from last night. Julian had his own share of one-night stands, but there were times when he thought that the girl was exceptionally good, so much so that she deserved breakfast in bed. And then he’d ghost her right after.
“So why were you so glum over the holidays? Is it because your girlfriend wasn’t here to give you a Christmas blowjob and a New Year fuck?”
My eyes narrowed and I gripped the handle of my mug a little tighter in annoyance. “Jesus, Julian, you’re in your twenties yet you still sound like a high school kid. Grow up. And learn to treat people with respect.”
Behind me, Julian chuckled, and then slid another steaming mug of coffee next to me and pulled out a chair. “You look like a sore loser, Everett. Had a lover’s spat with your girlfriend?”
I sighed and then heard footsteps coming from upstairs. “Seems like your flavour of the night just woke up.”
Julian grinned, stood up, downed half of his coffee without even cringing from how hot it was, and then put on the apron. I rolled my eyes when his towel fell on the floor. I knew that he was going to show off and I had a feeling that breakfast was going to head into a very different direction. “Whip me up something first before you go, Jules.”
My brother smirked and with ease and speed, whipped me up a fresh batch of waffles and plated it for me, just as the girl that he was with last night descended down the stairs. I nodded at her in acknowledgement, used to seeing random girls in our penthouse whenever Julian was around. Or before Leo had met Eleanor again and straightened himself out.
I climbed the stairs and headed to my room, eating my waffles while sitting on the floor, leaning against my bed. I opened my phone, immediately seeing the picture that Eleanor had taken of me and Alexa in her apartment. I couldn’t help but smile as my thumb gently caressed the screen and I felt a slight pang in my heart as I saw her face.
