Table of Contents
Outside the Lines
Book Details
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
About the Author
Outside
THE LINES
Caitlin Ricci
Alex has always wanted to help people, so when he finds a scared, homeless child, he doesn't hesitate to take 'Socks' to the shelter where he works, Trinity House.
Over the course of four years, a chance meeting turns into friendship. When Socks turns eighteen, they're excited, because it means they can move in with Alex—until Alex rejects them, and Socks realizes an affection they thought mutual was only ever one-sided.
Years later, Socks has become Trin, a psychiatrist who specializes in helping children. And they still want desperately to know why Alex rejected them long ago...
Outside the Lines
By Caitlin Ricci
Published by Less Than Three Press LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission of the publisher, except for the purpose of reviews.
Edited by Constance Blye
Cover designed by Aisha Akeju
This book is a work of fiction and all names, characters, places, and incidents are fictional or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is coincidental.
First Edition January 2016
Copyright © 2016 by Caitlin Ricci
Printed in the United States of America
Digital ISBN 9781620049310
Print ISBN 9781620049327
Chapter One
Alex
As I paid for a few bags of groceries at the market in downtown Denver, I was still quite a few minutes early for my shift at Trinity House, the old house a few blocks away that had been converted into a youth homeless shelter. And it was not, as my father had insisted, named for the Holy Trinity. I'd grown up a good Catholic boy and sure, I'd been curious about the name since I hadn't known the Catholic faith I'd grown up with to be all that accepting of LGBT youth, but a simple conversation had cleared that up for me. Trinity referred to the two sisters that had founded it in memory of their third sister, a woman that had taken her own life after their parents had rejected her after coming out. It was a story all too familiar to me, even though I'd only just started my internship at the shelter.
It was ten minutes to five when I pulled out of the market's parking lot, my old car rumbling along narrow city side streets as I hurried to get to work. I had plenty of time and I could have walked there and still been on time. But I was trying to make a good impression on my boss, the director and one of the three sisters. She was considered the boss even though she didn't technically work there anymore, but she kept a close eye on everyone that did, and I had my heart set on getting a full-time position there as soon as my internship was over. There wasn't a spot open, yet, but I planned on showing her my good side until one opened up and I could snatch it.
I was at a red light two streets away from the house when I heard one of those big metal dumpsters slam closed in the alley beside me. I wouldn't have even heard it if my stereo hadn't crapped out on me the weekend before. Too many long drives blasting my music had finally gotten to it, I guessed. It sucked, but I sure as hell didn't have the money to get it fixed anytime soon. Not with an unpaid internship and a pile of student loans I hoped to pay off sometime before I was fifty.
I started to ignore the noise, figuring it was just a cat or something, but then I saw someone crouched down beside the dumpster. They were there one moment and then they weren't, as if the shadows had gobbled them up much as I wanted to do to the tacos I planned to make tonight for the kids. The light changed and someone honked behind me. I lifted my hand in a silent apology and turned into the alley.
It could have been a stupid decision. And it probably was too. I was young, barely in my twenties, and didn't know the first thing about defending myself. But as I pulled in, blocking the way out of the alley, a bowed body started to take shape as the child stood up only a few feet in front of my car.
"Hey, don't run," I said as I got out. I didn't know if they'd meant to, but I knew that I didn't have time to chase after them. And, bleeding heart that I was, I'd end up doing that if they took off. I couldn't tell much from where I was, but what I did see was dirty clothes that were at least two sizes too big and a mess of bright, nearly white, hair that was pretty clearly tangled despite only going to about the kid's shoulders.
Poor thing. I wanted to both hug them and kick the teeth out of whoever had put the child on the streets in the first place.
"I don't want trouble," the kid said, taking a step back as I moved forward.
I stopped moving and held my hands up, trying to show that I wasn't going to hurt them. I was closer now. But I couldn't tell if I was looking at a boy or a girl. It didn't really matter though. If I could just get them to come to Trinity House with me, then I could get them some help.
"Are you hungry?"
Light blue eyes moved to the dumpster and then back to me. There was bundle in the child's hands, something that looked like a food carton from a Chinese place.
"I work at a homeless shelter, it's a short walk from here. We've got food there. And clothes too. Beds, books, friends..." I let my voice trail off as the child in front of me rounded their shoulders and took a step back.
"Don't believe you."
"Then how about I take you there?" I offered. I wasn't sure what I was doing to be honest. I hadn't found a child on my own. I knew that some of the counselors went with volunteers in the evenings to pass out hot meals to the homeless downtown. But I worked nights so that I could go to school and work part time during the days so I hadn't been able to go. I didn't even know if I was doing any of this right and was more than a little afraid the kid would bolt on me and I wouldn't get to help them at all.
"Not getting in a car with you. Don't know you."
Smart kid, I reasoned. All right I had to figure out another way to do this. "I have some juice in my trunk. Want it?"
The kid shrugged, but I could see the interest in their eyes. And I think I knew how hungry they were. I had raw meat too, but not much else. Everything else for tacos was pretty much a staple at the house. I wished that I had more to give the kid if they refused to take me up on my offer. I went to my trunk and pulled out the juice. It was grape, something that the kids at the house liked, and I hoped this one did too. I shut my trunk and went back to the front of my car where the kid stood waiting.
"Here," I said, tossing it to them. The juice slipped out of their hands and fell on the ground but the kid quickly grabbed it up and started drinking. Half the bottle was gone before they looked up at me again, purple juice dribbling down their chin.
"I'm Alex. What's your name?" I tried.
"What's this place called?" the kid asked me, avoiding my question.
I pulled a business card out of my wallet and put it on the hood of my car between us. "Trinity House." The kid came forward just long enough to snatch the business card off my car before moving away again. I wouldn't have been able to catch a kid that fast even if I'd wanted to.
"Could have gotten this anywhere," they said, tossing it back onto the hood.
I smirked. "You're pretty smart, kid. All right, let's go with this." I pulled my badge out of my right pocket. If the kid took off with this, I'd be in big trouble but it was the best proof I had that I really did work at Trinity House. I put it between us just as I had with the card. "N
ow, I need this one back, but you can keep the card."
The kid said nothing as they walked up and took my badge. After studying it for a few seconds they put it back on the car. "So. Trinity House is that way?" they asked, pointing west.
I shook my head and pointed north. "That way. Can't miss it."
"Okay."
They looked back at me and then in the direction I'd pointed. "Sure you don't want a ride?" I asked, hoping that they decided to take me up on my offer this time. At least then I'd know that they made it safe.
"I don't want to get in your car. But I'll walk beside it."
Probably the oddest compromise I'd ever made, but that's exactly what ended up happening as I got back into my car and drove as slow as I possibly could, all while keeping the emergency signal on of course, all the way to the house. I was late by about ten minutes, not good at all, but as the counselor on duty with me that night, Kim, saw who I was letting in, I think all was forgotten. She hurried to get things together for our new arrival while I hurried to put away the groceries.
Kim was at least twice my age and most of the people living at the shelter treated her like a grandmother. I liked working with her because she treated me like I actually had a brain and could do more than just mop the kitchen, unlike some of the other counselors who promised that I'd get real jobs once I graduated. That wasn't the way this was supposed to work, but I did say that. I didn't want to make enemies of my co-workers before I even officially had that title.
"Welcome to Trinity House," I told the kid as we stood in the lobby. Kim hurried toward us, paperwork and plastic bags looking heavy in her arms before she spread everything out on the little side table just off the entrance. The desk had broken the day before and we were making due. Kim handed me the new resident packet, and I led the kid over to Kim's office, a little room off to the side. I'd done an intake before, but not on my own. Thankfully I didn't end up having to fumble my way through one as Kim came in behind us. I moved aside so that she could sit at her desk, but she nudged me into her chair instead.
"All right." I got comfortable and pulled a pen toward me. "So I'm Alex, and that's Kim, and this is Trinity House. It's a shelter for LGBT homeless youth. If you want to, you can stay here until you're eighteen, and then we'll work on transitional housing for you. You won't be dumped back on the streets."
The kid took a seat across the desk and I saw that the carton of food was still in their hand. They clutched it protectively, and I tried not to stare. I still couldn't tell if I was looking at a boy or a girl. The clothes were men's for sure, but the kid's face could have been either. I didn't dwell on it.
"We do have a few rules here. No fighting, bedroom doors have to be open anytime you aren't changing, you can't eat in your rooms, no sneaking between rooms at night, no relationships beyond friendships, and you have to get clean or stay clean," I told them, hoping I was remembering everything. I would have rather just set the kid up in a room and let them do whatever they wanted as long as they were safe, but there were rules that had to be followed, and it was for everyone's benefit.
The kid nodded, but I'd make them sign a piece of paper stating that they agreed anyway. I handed them a personal form where they were supposed to fill out their information for me along with a pen but quickly found myself frowning as they skipped over the name and previous address portion along with the gender question. The only thing they did fill out was their date of birth and their sexuality.
The kid across from me was fourteen. Jesus. I tried not to look like I wanted to murder someone as they handed the paperwork back to me. They weren't the youngest kid that I knew of having been through here; that title went to Lucy, who had been twelve when her teenage brother called to have her picked up because their parents were kicking her out. She'd graduated well before I'd joined Trinity House, but her file had been one of the ones Kim had handed me on my first day there when she'd told me to familiarize myself with their most notable graduates.
"You didn't fill out your name," I pointed out needlessly. They shrugged. "We need to know it. For our records."
The kid got to their feet and started heading out of the office and nearly got past Kim when she stopped them. "It's alright dear, we'll skip that part for tonight. Come back and have a seat. We have some things for you."
I stared at the kid as they silently turned around and came back to the desk. Had they really been ready to walk because of their name? I shared a look with Kim and put the paperwork aside for now. There was plenty more of it, but the rest of the intake could wait a minute, I supposed. I heard the kids in their rooms above me starting to get restless. It was almost time for dinner. If Kim and I could get this kid to stay for a meal and then maybe the night, then whoever came in tomorrow could work on them a bit more and maybe get that information out of them. I hoped so, because if the helpless look in the kid's eyes were anything to go by, this kid was being crushed by whatever secrets they were hiding.
"This is the stuff that every new resident gets when they come to stay with us, no matter how long they choose to," Kim said as she started pulling out items from the plastic bags. I didn't focus on the stuff. I just watched the kid. There were clothes, socks, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and other essentials. And some caramel candies. I'd put those in yesterday.
The kid didn't touch any of it though, only dropped their chin to their chest and stared at it all like it was all so overwhelming. "Go ahead. Take it," I said, trying to be as gentle as possible. I was so completely out of my element here. I should have insisted that Kim do this intake, and I should have been starting dinner. I wasn't ready for an intake, even a supervised and guided one like this. Maybe I wasn't even ready to be a counselor if I couldn't even get this kid to open up and give me something as simple as a name.
The kid plucked the pair of socks from the table and held them close to their chest. "Thanks," they mumbled before getting up again. "What's next?"
I got up too and put my hands on the desk. "It's all yours. All of it. And if something runs out or gets a hole in it and can't be worn anymore, then we'll get you another." The kid was so small, so frail. And now that my anger was giving way to sympathy, all I wanted to do was hug them close and promise that whatever, whoever, had hurt them, wouldn't be able to do so again. But even though I didn't know much, I was pretty sure that attempting to hug this kid would end badly.
"All of it?" They looked up at me. I nodded and pushed a sweatshirt toward them.
"Alex, I'll get started on dinner for the kids. Why don't you show our new guest upstairs so that they can get cleaned up and changed to eat?" Kim said before quietly letting herself out of the office, and then I was alone with a kid about whom I knew nothing, but had many hopes, all of them good.
"You're safe here," I promised.
"You don't know what that means."
The honest pain in that simple statement broke my heart. "Maybe not, but I won't let anything happen to you here at least."
The kid nodded and dropped it as they came forward to touch the other things on the desk. "All of it's mine?"
I nodded. "You thought you only got socks?"
"Need socks the most," they said softly.
"I need something to call you and I think I'll go with Socks." I'd been joking when I said it, hoping to get a little smile from the kid. And I got the barest traces of one. But I hadn't expected them to nod.
"Good a name as any." They leaned forward and took the intake form and quickly spelled out their new name in the line.
I wasn't sure if they were serious, but then they stuck out their hand. "Hi. I'm Socks," they said as if it was the most normal name in the world.
I took their offered hand gently in my own and tried not to focus on the chill of their fingers against my palm. "Alex. Nice to meet you. I'm glad you decided to give Trinity House a try."
Socks pulled their hand back quickly. "I can leave in the morning?"
I nodded. "You're not a prisoner. Can I get y
ou to go upstairs with me now? Show you to a room so that you can get ready for dinner?"
Socks gave me a little shrug and then I was leading them up the staircase to the second floor where three rooms and a bathroom waited. The only door that was closed was the one to the bathroom, and I could see boys and girls hanging out in their rooms. "This is the boy room," I said, pointing. Socks didn't go in so I moved to the next. "And this is the girl room." Socks didn't head in there either.
"I'm not either," Socks told me as they looked up at me. If the words were supposed to surprise me, they didn't. I hadn't been at Trinity House long, but I'd been told a lot more shocking things than that. I didn't understand how someone didn't have a gender, but I didn't question it either. I walked to the last bedroom and pushed the door open a little. "You'll fit in here."
I knocked before walking in first, ready to introduce Socks to their new roommates if they chose to stay. "Socks, this is Abbie, Seth, and Chris. Kids, this is Socks. They're brand new. Be nice." I didn't have to tell these three to be nice to anyone, but I liked making Abbie, the smallest kid in the house, smile by pretending to be stern once in a while. She laughed and kept trying out make up.
"It's easier if you shave first," Socks said, coming up beside her on the bed. Abbie glanced up and blushed.
"Socks, find a free bunk, get cleaned up and come down to dinner when you're ready. We'll make sure there's some left. The rest of you," I made sure my voice carried to the other two bedrooms," start heading down for dinner. Hands washed and sitting at the table in five."
Abbie laughed at me again and I headed downstairs along with the first of the kids. They chatted excitedly, some asking about the new kid, others singing a song that I guessed had been on the radio. I helped steady a kid that nearly fell while trying to read a book and go down the stairs at the same time before joining Kim in the kitchen.
"Socks will be down soon I hope," I said as I stirred the meat.
She gave me a narrowed eyed look, and I was instantly defensive. "Hey, I didn't choose their name."
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