Grooming Mr. Right

by Tonya Kappes

  “I am too!” The thud of steps in sync with Mom’s were definitely Birdie’s converse sneakers. “Thank God you had your dad growing up because I have no idea how you lived with that woman for a mother!”

  “Okay, calm down,” I tried to be the voice of reason, but the two kept bickering back and forth like a pair of old hens. I put my hands over my ears and screamed, “Stop it!”

  Dad rushed across the upstairs hall and down the staircase.

  “What’s wrong?” His head flipped back and forth.

  “Her!” We all said in unison. I was pointing at both of them, Mom was pointing at Birdie, and Birdie was pointing at Mom.

  “You two haven’t settled this yet?” Dad had probably had his fill after the first hour of Birdie’s arrival, left and hadn’t come back until now.

  “That has got to go,” Mom protested with her hands on her hips.

  Rrrrr. Birdie openly growled at Mom. Mom drew back as if Birdie were really going to pounce.

  “Stop,” I begged them.

  “She can’t come in here looking like that. We have an image to uphold.” Mom grabbed Dad like she wanted him to do something.

  “Mom, you can’t go around telling people how to dress. She’s my friend and I’m not going to make her change. She is welcome in our home just as she is.”

  “Since when did you start calling her Mom?” Birdie was so used to me calling her Lucia that I was sure it shocked her.

  “What?” Mom’s face contorted.

  “It’s late. I have to clean the RV and get up early.” Not to mention I had a couple more classes I needed to take to get my license. Luckily, most of my clients have been strictly baths. I’ve given them a discount so I could go back in a few weeks and legally groom them. “Can we all please go to bed and cool off? We can discuss this more calmly in the morning.”

  “Fine.” Birdie and Mom crossed their arms, glaring at each other before they both stomped up the staircase.

  When I heard doors click shut, I knew it was safe to go back to my happy place…thinking of Jase while I cleaned out the RV and got ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Before I even got out of the shower the next morning, my phone was already going off with potential clients interested in the services I had to offer. Plus another woman had left a message saying she was a groomer with her own shop and would love to buy me out. Was she crazy?

  “Hello!” I answered when I saw it was Granny. I couldn’t wait to tell her that I stayed up all night to finish the classes and that an instructor was going to come and shadow me for a day to make sure I passed all the skills tests. They would be doing this for the next few months, but at least I had a temporary license, which meant not only could I bathe the dogs, but also I could actually groom them.

  “Luvie, do you have time for breakfast?” Granny sounded a little urgent and out of breath.

  “Are you okay?” Something wasn’t right.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” she confirmed. “I want you to meet with me and my friend Coco. You know, Barkleigh’s mom, for breakfast.”

  “Sure.” I checked my watch. “It’s going to have to be quick though because my first client is at ten.” It wouldn’t look good to show up late or to not show up at all.

  I made my way downstairs after Granny and I hung up, and followed the laughter to the back deck just off the kitchen where I was sure Mom and Lillian were having a good laugh at Birdie’s expense.

  To my chagrin, Birdie sat there laughing, her hands wrapped around one of Mom’s fancy china cups, sipping coffee by the fountain next to Mom who had her feet in the fountain with her face to the sun.

  I slid the glass porch door open and hollered, “Are you two actually getting along, or am I having a dream?” I pinched myself. Ouch, not a dream. I walked out and pulled up a wrought iron chair to get the scoop.

  “We have more in common than we thought.” Mom was all smiles.

  “I’m afraid to ask.” My eyebrows rose.

  “You,” Birdie chirped before she took another sip. She had taken the piercings out of her lips and nose, but kept the ones in her ears—six in each ear. “I’ve been telling her about the first time you came to New York and all the crazy things that had happened to you.”

  I rolled my eyes. Those were stories that would mortify Mom. When I got lost in the worst part of New York, I didn’t dare tell her or she would have had the cops bring me home even though I was an adult.

  “I’ve got to go. I won’t be home until late.” I had already packed a small bag of things to take to Vivian’s after work. I wasn’t going to tell Mom or Birdie anything about my plans.

  “Tell me about the time you hit on the transvestite.” Mom threw her head back and roared out laughing.

  “Nice, Birdie.” I scowled and got up to get my duffle bag before leaving. There were some things that you didn’t tell Lucia Beiderman and that was one of them. Now I will never live it down.

  “That’s a scary sight.” Dad sat at the kitchen table. He dipped the paper down on one corner, exposing half of his face. He had a straight shot view of Mom and Birdie having their little pow-wow at the fountain.

  “No joke,” I murmured and picked up the bag. I kissed Dad on the forehead. “I’ll be home late tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Have fun on your date,” Dad said casually.

  “How did you know about that?” Shocked and stunned, I turned to face him. He didn’t put down the paper so I popped it with my fist in the middle.

  “Let’s just say a little birdie…well, not Birdie, but Vivian told me,” he still didn’t put the paper down but shook it out and popped it back into perfect place, “when I went to check on the Sheikh’s horse. I guess I’d better go look for that shotgun.”

  “Ha-ha, funny Dad.” I shook my head. Wasn’t anything sacred anymore? Please don’t get the shotgun out, I begged in my head. There had to come a point when he saw me as an adult, but when?

  He got up from the table with his coffee cup in his hand. He opened the junk drawer, pulled out a small handgun and sat it on the counter.

  “Geez, Dad.” My mouth dropped open, and I brushed my hair behind my shoulder. “I think you’ve gotten worse in your old age.”

  “No one is good enough for my princess.” He winked. “This time it’s not for you.” He tucked the gun in the waistband of his pants. “Unfortunately, we have some poachers on the land. Taking the antlers and leaving their bodies.”

  “Oh no.” The thought of killing deer made me sad. Especially when hunters only hunt to get the biggest point buck they could find.

  “Yep.” Dad sat back down once he refilled his cup. On the other side of his belt, I noticed a walkie-talkie.

  “You have people out there in stands?” I asked. Dad had placed deer stands around the property for our “look-out” people to keep an eye out for any hunters. The Lady B was a no-trespassing zone, which meant no hunting, but when you have such a large property to tend to, it’s hard to keep an eye on all of it. Plus the wooded area was so big, it was hard to get through the trees and undergrowth. Hunters didn’t seem to have a problem.

  “We do.” He pulled the paper back up in front of his face. “We found out there was more hunting going on when the coyotes were spotted near the barns.”

  That was the problem. Not that we wanted the deer killed, because we were against hunting, but we needed to control what happened on our land. When hunters left the bodies for the sport of only taking the antlers, it drew coyotes, which led to them also threatening the horses.

  Being part of the SPCA also allowed the Beidermans to speak against hunters. It’s something we had done all my life.

  Dad patted the gun. “Maybe I’ll keep it on until you get back from your date.”

  “Funny.” I held up my cup of coffee and gave him a little in-the-air cheer. “Save it for the horses, or even the Sheikh.”

  “What’s so funny?” Birdie an
d Mom walked elbow hooked to elbow as if they were chummy good ole gal-pals.

  “Nothing.” There was no sense in going into it. Moreover, I was sure Dad would tell Mom anyway and I had to go meet Granny.

  “Did you say Sheikh?” Birdie asked. “And horses?”

  “That is what we do here, Birdie.” Dad finally put down the paper. Though he was nice to Birdie, I could tell he wasn’t impressed by her. I was sure he liked the fact that Iggy didn’t leave her side and she was a good pet owner.

  “Did you know that I grew up around horses in California?” Birdie was always surprising me with her past. I knew it shouldn’t surprise me because she was the type of person who wanted to experience it all, but somehow she still surprised me every single time.

  “Really?” Mom took Birdie’s cup and saucer to the counter and refilled it.

  “I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got to go.” I flung the old duffle over my shoulder. “Somebody has to pay the bills around here.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable with my duffle bag.” The one thing Birdie wasn’t good at was sharing.

  I probably should have grabbed a to-go cup of coffee because I forgot how much traffic there was in Lexington this early in the morning, when everyone and their brother was trying to get across town. Or maybe it was backing up from all the people slowing down to get a good look at the RV.

  I pulled into the Panera Bread parking lot and immediately spotted Granny and Coco. Who could miss them? They both had on big wide-brimmed hats and their necks were loaded down with pearls.

  “Good morning to two lovely women.” I bent down and kissed Granny before I gave Coco a slight hug. It was an unwritten rule in Kentucky that you hugged when you greeted someone or when you said goodbye.

  “The shirts turned out nice.” Coco St. James pointed her finger to the logo on my shirt.

  “How is Barkleigh?” It was going to be a few more weeks before he was due for another grooming.

  “Since you made those custom shoes, he’s been fabulous.” Coco politely thanked the server as she poured coffee into all of our cups.

  “That is what we wanted to talk to you about,” Granny chimed in.

  Here we go. Another one of Granny’s harebrained ideas. It wasn’t that the grooming idea wasn’t panning out; that one was great so far.

  I reached for a couple of creamers and slowly stirred them in while I patiently listened to what they had to say.

  “God knows that I have spent countless dollars on Barkleigh’s feet, and that includes those shoes you can get at the pet store.” She and Granny nodded at each other. “But using the rubber padding was a genius idea and it worked for him.”

  Granny pulled something out of her bag and sat it on the table. Coco pushed it toward me.

  “Gloria told me that you designed some of these when you were only twelve years old.” Coco opened my old journal that Granny had obviously filched from my bedroom at the Lady B.

  I gave Granny a sideways glance because Granny never went to the Lady B because of Mom.

  “Don’t ask.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Let’s just say that it wasn’t easy scaling the big brick wall around the property without stepping in horse crap.”

  That was something I probably would have paid to see.

  “I was just a kid.” I laughed, but neither Granny nor Coco laughed or smiled. They sat there stone-faced. Granny nudged Coco.

  “My name is Coco St. James, as in St. James Pet Stores.” Coco’s voice wasn’t the shaky little-old-lady voice that I knew as Barkleigh’s mom. She sat up and became very businesslike.

  “As in the famous St. James world-wide pet stores?” My mouth dropped.

  “Have you heard of us?”

  Heard of them? Everyone on the planet who owned an animal had heard of them. Only, I didn’t know they were from Kentucky.

  Speechless, I nodded my head.

  “I moved here to be near family and I still own the company, although my kids and grandkids have parts in the day-to-day functions.” She waved her hand in the air. “That’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I think you have some real talent that I have never seen in the clothing lines in pet stores. I especially like those shoes. And I think I can, ahem…,” she cleared her throat, “…I know I can make you a very wealthy woman.”

  Pets and money? What wasn’t to like?

  “Are you serious?” I blurted out.

  “Honey, there are two things I never joke about…,” Coco arched her eyebrows in a very determined look, “…animals and money.”

  I put my hand on my chest. “You are a woman after my own heart.”

  “Then do we have a deal?” Granny put her elbows on the table and tapped the pads of her fingers together.

  “We?” I eyed her with a slight grin on my face.

  “We,” Coco confirmed it was a two-way deal.

  “Deal.” I put my hand in the middle of the table and like a team, we stacked our hands on top of each other’s to seal the deal.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When I got back in the RV, there were several missed calls from potential clients and one missed call from Mom telling me that Birdie was going to attend the meeting with her for the fundraiser tonight so I didn’t need to go since I had been working so hard.

  Good. I had forgotten all about the meeting and I was definitely looking forward to my date with Jase. I had a couple of minutes to get to my first stop. I liked the idea the instructor of my class had. She said to give the clients a little report of services rendered on their pets. I had made a form the night before and had time to stop by the print shop to have some made. I even had time to stop and get some toothbrushes and add brushing teeth to my services. There were some cute stick-on gems at the counter. I grabbed a few packages of those because they would be cute to stick on each report.

  I was all about cute.

  The day flew by as I traveled from one client’s house to the next. When it was time for lunch, I didn’t bother eating. I was too excited about the opportunity coming up with St. James Pet Stores and jotted down a few new ideas that had popped into my head while I was grooming some dogs.

  The last stop of the day should go by quickly. It was only a bath for Bessie. The owner didn’t say what type of dog Bessie was, but most of the time when they only chose a bath for a service, it was because their dog had short hair.

  The houses in the neighborhood were close together, not leaving much privacy. A couple of kids were playing basketball on the hoop that was on the street, but stopped and stared at the Primp My Pet RV. When I passed by them, they chased after me. I pulled into the driveway of a modest house and got out.

  “What is that?” One of the boys lifted his hand over his eyes to shield the sun and pointed to the RV.

  “It’s a mobile pet spa,” I proudly told them.

  “And you are here to see Bessie?” A wicked grin came across the boy’s face.

  I paused, wondering why he was so entertained that Bessie was a client.

  “I am,” I nodded. “Big or small, I groom them all,” I proudly said.

  “I’m gonna watch this.” The boy shifted his weight and propped the basketball up on his hip.

  Within a couple of minutes, the door to the house opened and out walked a little pig hooked to a leash.

  Groink, groink. The sweet little pink pig tapped her way along the sidewalk. Her hooves looked like little grey heels. She had her head held high and her cute little tail twirled like a pinwheel in a good breeze.

  A woman with a little round body matching the pig’s body had on a housedress. Her heels clicked right behind Bessie’s hooves. She had her blond hair neatly cut into a short bob. “Good morning,” she chirped. “I’m Selma.”

  “Good morning.” I pointed to the RV. “I’m Luvie and I’m here to bath Bessie.” I looked around her shoulder to see if there was a dog standing at the storm door.

  “Here she is.” The woman held the leash handle out.
r />   The boys snorted along with Bessie. I glanced at them. My eyes narrowed and lines formed on the bridge of my nose.

  “Bessie is a pig?” I asked.

  The woman flung her hands over Bessie’s ears. “She is sensitive to the term. She is a member of this family.”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m a pet groomer.” I pointed again to the RV.

  “You have a bathing package and I want Bessie bathed.” She raised her chin indignantly.

  The boys stood as if they were waiting to see a knock-down drag-out fight between me and Bessie’s owner.

  “Big or small, you groom them all,” one of the little boys mocked me and then giggled right before they all ran off, bouncing the ball between them.

  “Fine.” I held my hand and took the leash. “Let’s go Bessie.”

  “Bessie, be a good girl. Mommy loves you.” The woman gave kisses to Bessie’s snout. Inwardly I groaned.

  “We will be done in an hour.” Or hopefully quicker. I noticed there wasn’t any fur at all on the little pink thing.

  I held the RV door open and she grunted up the steps.

  “All right. Let’s do this.” I wasn’t even sure how to pick her up. I had never been around a pig before. She and I both looked at each other, one anticipating the other’s move. She backed into the corner of the RV, never once taking her eyes off me.

  I held my arms out. Images of those kids at the county fair in the pig-catching contest ran through my head. I tugged on the leash. She pulled back harder.

  “Come on Bessie. Be a good girl like mommy said.” I coaxed her. It was game of chess, both of us making calculated moves based on the other.

  Groink, groink, groink. Bessie squealed as I wrangled her to the bathtub. I could hear fits of laughter outside the RV and I knew those boys were back out there mocking me. I guess I couldn’t blame them, I’d be alongside of them laughing at me too, if the tables were turned.

  “Good girl, Bessie.” Exhausted, I wiped my hair away from my face with my forearm and grabbed the water nozzle. I held down her ears as the water shot out drenching me. “Okay, let’s try this.”