by Izzy Shows
"Uh, yeah," I said. "Magic users are getting sucked up left and right, and Mal thinks it's a succubus. Why do you think it's a succubus, again?" I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
He cleared his throat. "I assume you're asking why a succubus and not an incubus?" He waited for me to nod my head. "Because the attacker was described as female at the first attack. Confirmed today by another description of a female attacker. The...Kin do not shift their gender."
"That's true," Jakub said, tilting his head towards Mal in agreement.
"Why?" I was curious. That seemed like such an odd line to draw in the sand.
The two of them blinked in unison, staring at me, as if nobody had asked that question of them before. Perhaps they hadn't, who knew? Most of the questions I had would be ones they weren't accustomed to.
"It's not actually true," Katy said. "I have heard of a few cases. But it's very rare."
"That still didn't answer the question. Why do most of you not shift your genders, then?"
"Would you?" She lifted an eyebrow.
I frowned. Well, that was a good point. It was a personal decision, not a racial one. I felt the same embarrassment Raven had elicited in me when I hadn't been able to understand who or what they were.
"Most of us have forms that we prefer," Jakub said. "And then there are forms that we take on when we feed. To attract our prey, or to ensure that no one suspects us."
They were the apex predator, I realised. How could anyone know to protect themselves when there was no way of recognising the attacker? It didn't matter how strong you were, you could fall to them simply by being fooled by a pretty face or a fit body. How were you supposed to guard against that?
The only people I could see being truly safe were those in relationships. But even then...I remembered the way I had reacted to the twins when I'd first seen them. The effect wasn't as strong now that I'd been around them for a minute and knew what they were, but it had been an impossible to resist call at first. Who was to say that love was enough to resist that?
"What are you thinking?" Jakub said. He was staring at me intensely, a slight frown on his face.
I wondered then if they were capable of reading minds—not every supernatural entity had the ability, but it would make sense that one who could control emotions like he could would have the skill. If that was the case, then he would be frustrated dealing with me; he wouldn't be able to get past my shields.
"That I am royally screwed," I said, following it with a heavy sigh. "I have no idea how we're going to do this." I turned to Mal when I spoke then, shaking my head.
"We will figure it out," he said, his words firm and steady. He had no doubts, unlike me.
"You're speaking of the succubus you believe has lost control?"
"The succubus we know has lost control," Mal said. "I know what a succubus attack looks like."
"My apologies. I did not mean to offend. It is hard to believe that one of the Kin has behaved in such a manner, though. It has been eons since we have had a situation like this," Jakub said.
"I know. That doesn't stop it from being true, much as we would all like to believe that. Whoever she is, she fed on a mage here at Serenity, and another mage in a strip club. We aren't certain how many victims she has attacked beyond that, but she is not following your social norms. She is attacking in public, without regard to who sees her. It's dangerous to you, she could reveal your species if a human were to investigate the situation."
I didn't mention that a human was already involved in the investigation—Finn. Finn knew to keep his mouth shut about things like this, though. All he cared about was keeping his city safe, he didn't need to expose the supernatural to do that. In fact, it could endanger humanity even more if the community was revealed. We all acted like this was kept a secret to protect us; but a part of me knew it was possible that if all was revealed the predators would cease to have a reason to control themselves.
"What can we do to help?" Katy sat up a little straighter as she spoke, putting her glass on the table beside the chaise.
I have to say, I was surprised she was willing to help. She hadn't seemed like the most helpful person when we'd first come in, a little stand offish, and I had the impression she didn't like me. The idea that she was the type to deal with a situation regardless of her personal feelings was comforting.
"Well," I said, "for starters, you can tell me if there's any way to identify one of you guys when you're in another form. I need to track down this succubus as quickly as possible to keep the community safe. She's targeting magic users for some reason. I can't sit back and hope she self-destructs."
"There isn't," Katy said.
Jakub glowered at her. "Katarzyna," he said, his voice a low growl.
"What?" She batted her eyes, a picture of innocence.
Not so helpful after all.
"What my darling sister failed to mention, is that we can identify one another. I see both my sister and her chosen form simultaneously, so I would be able to tell you if you were dealing with one of the Kin, or if I had seen the succubus before I would be able to identify her."
"So, you would be invaluable in this situation," I said.
Mal made a guttural sound in the back of his throat. I decided to ignore it.
Jakub smiled at me. "Precisely."
"Would you be willing to help us?"
"I thought I had made that clear already. I would kill for the opportunity to work with The Hunter."
Maybe there were perks to being infamous. Or famous. Whatever.
Hopefully it wouldn't get me killed.
18
Mal and I headed back to the compound for more sparring practice after Serenity; or at least, that's what he'd said he wanted to do. I felt it was very likely he wanted to discuss what had happened at Serenity, my invitation for Jakub to help. I knew he didn't like the idea of bringing more demons around me, he was weirdly territorial when it came to that, but it would be plain foolish to turn away the only person who could see a succubus through their mask. I hoped he would be able to see that.
We were both quiet as we entered the compound. On a normal day, I would be able to sit in silence with Mal and think nothing of it, but right now it was only serving to make me anxious. I was waiting for him to blow up, and I knew that the longer it took for him to get there, the worse it would be when it finally came.
I waited for Mal to shut the large compound door before I couldn't take it anymore.
"Are you going to say anything?"
"What is there to say?" He didn't look at me, but his words were laced with anger. I was suddenly grateful that I couldn't see his eyes.
"I don't know. Something. Anything. Just talk to me."
"You know how I feel about you and other demons."
"Actually, I don't. I don't get it. I didn't make a deal with anyone, and isn't that what you told me I'm not allowed to do? There's no rational reason to turn away Jakub. His help is going to make or break this investigation, I'd be an idiot to tell him to stay out of it!"
"He's just chasing you for the glory of mentioning your name!" He whirled to face me then, anger etched into every line of his face. "He doesn't care about helping you, he doesn't care about the succubus hurting people, he just wants to be near you."
"As opposed to you? What exactly are you getting out of this, because I don't see any reason for you to be helping me. I've never seen a reason for you to help me at any point in any of this, you just show up! What the fuck is that even?" I didn't want to fight with him, but I couldn't stand him screaming at me. I knew it wasn't good to push him, not when he was like that, but I couldn't stop myself.
"Would you rather I go away?"
"No, that's not what I said, at all. Why are you ignoring everything I say and trying to twist it into something ugly?"
He closed the distance between us, grabbing my wrist and wrenching the cuff off with his other hand. With one hand, he held my wrist, his thumb pressed against the mark.
>
I couldn't deny the euphoric sensation that passed through me, the calming of the rage the brand inspired, the sensation of belonging. I knew these feelings weren't mine, the brand inspired them. The brand knew that it belonged to Mal, and it wanted me to feel that way, that was all it was. But that didn't change the fact that I was feeling these things.
I yanked my wrist away from him, breathing heavily, clutching my wrist with my other hand.
"Why did you do that?" My voice was little more than a whisper when I spoke, glaring at him all the while.
"To make a point. That marks you as mine, that is all that stands between other demons and you, but you undermine it when you speak to them like you did today. When you talk to me as if I am a friend in front of them, it lowers their opinion of this mark, it makes you less safe, it pisses me the hell off!"
I stared at him, taken aback by what he had said. I didn't even know where to begin, but I knew that I had to start somewhere, because I couldn’t allow any of that to stand.
"I have told you before and I will tell you again, Malphas." I spat his name out like it was a dirty word, refusing to use the nickname I had given him. I had said it to get under his skin initially, but it become a fond nickname over time. I was not feeling fond now. "I do not belong to you, or anyone. This mark is little more than a power source to me, it certainly does not bind me to you, and it never will. And I talk to you like you're my friend, because I was stupid enough to think we were becoming friends! Believe me, I will not make that mistake again."
He reached for me again but I skirted out of the way before he could, glaring at him enough that I was thinking about melting his face off.
"That's not what I meant," he said, and he looked like he was going to say more, but I didn't give him the opportunity.
"No? It's exactly what you said. Please, enlighten me. What did you mean when you said it marks me as yours?"
"I meant..." He looked away from me, trying to find whatever words would make it better. I didn't think he was going to find any, because the damage was done.
Silence stretched out between us as I waited for him to talk. Finally, fed up with waiting, I arced my hand in the air.
"Incendium." I flung my hand towards his feet, letting out a bolt of fire that had him scrambling to get away, his eyes wild when he looked at me again.
"What did you mean?" I shouted, taking a step forward, clenching my hand into a fist to stop myself from spraying more fire at him. The rage was building within me again, and I knew that the brand was fuelling it, but I didn't care just then. It was impossible to control my temper.
He couldn't answer me, so I sent another bolt at him, snapping the word out at the same time as I flung my hand towards him. He managed to dodge it again, the fire putting itself out safely on the concrete floor.
The entire compound was set up to defuse magic where necessary, particularly on the floor, it was a safe space to have a fight in. But I didn't care if I hurt him then.
I was angry, and a little hurt myself. Because I didn't want to be an item that belonged to someone, I didn't want to be a possession that no one could share. I didn't want to be seen as an object. And that's how Mal was treating me, like the toy he wanted to keep away from the other kids. It was something I would not, could not, put up with.
"What did you mean, Malphas?" I stepped towards him again, and delighted in the way he stepped back. I knew he couldn't be afraid of me—no Fallen could fear a mortal—and I knew that he could fight back if he wanted to. But he didn't want to, for some reason. Maybe he knew that I was right, I didn't care what his reasons were.
"I don't know, OK, I don't know!"
"That's not good enough! What the fuck did you mean?"
I lifted my hand again, but he moved with impossible speed and caught my arm with his own hand. He was too close to me, just then; I was breathing so hard that our chests were touching. I wanted to step away, but he was holding my arm so tightly it felt like I was in a steel vice. I knew that if I moved I wouldn't get anywhere.
"I am sorry if I offended you when I said that you are mine, but I have explained it to you before. Demons do not have an updated sense of morality like you humans, they do not consider their females to be on equal standing, they certainly don't see any human as having equal standing. So yes, to them, you are mine. You belong to me. You are little more than a pet, and I am sorry that it must be that way. I am sorry that to keep you safe, I have to present you in that fashion, but it is a necessity."
I pulled against his arm, but the resistance was futile. I couldn't free myself no matter how much I might want to. I looked away from him, tears stinging my eyes. I refused to let them fall, didn't want him to see me weak like that.
You are little more than a pet.
Gods, but no words could have hurt me like those had.
Where was my anger? I wanted to cloak myself in it, wanted to protect myself from the pain carving through my insides, emptying me out and leaving me with nothing. I felt like I was falling, drowning, something. I couldn't put words to the feeling inside of me, and my head started to pound.
"Let go of me." I could barely hear the words I spoke, it was so much effort just to get them out of my throat with the way I felt. I knew I was on the verge of tears, and any movement, any attempt at speaking, just pushed me farther.
"Look at me," he said. I felt his hand at my cheek but I shook my head to drive him away. "Blair, look at me."
"Let. Go. Of. Me." Every word cost me. I blinked several times, but I felt the first tear steal away and fall down my cheek all the same.
He sighed, and his hand released my arm. I started to move, relieved, but then each of his hands were at my shoulders, and he had me squarely facing him.
My lips twisted into a snarl and I stubbornly kept my face turned away from him, refusing to give in. Refusing to let him see me cry.
"Blair, I'm sorry. I don't think you understand how odd this is—"
"Odd?" My voice cracked, and so did I. I laughed, unable to keep the manic caged inside of me. I turned to look at him then, tears tracking down my cheeks as I smiled. "What's odd, Malphas? That I put up with you treating me like a piece of shit?"
"I do not treat you like a piece of shit!" I could hear the panic in his voice, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Please, just listen to me. I do not think of you in any of those ways. I do not see you in the way the other demons do, I thought you understood that. It's odd and outside the realm of understanding for any of them, that I treat you like an equal. That I offered to teach you without needing a pact made, that I did make a pact with you and yet I don't drag you anywhere whenever I want. That I didn't force you to talk to me when you were avoiding me, that even now I am not stopping you from making any of the decisions—like inviting Jakub! Yes, it upsets me to see you with other demons, but I am not stopping you from it like I could. I do not see you as someone I can control, and that is strange, and I need you to understand that."
I stared at him with dead eyes, shaking my head slowly. "Poor Malphas. Treating someone with respect must be so hard."
He let go of me then, turning and walking away. He shook his head, dragging a hand through his hair.
I had the odd, disjointed thought that it was a shame he'd messed it up.
He turned back to me, pain etched into every corner of his face, his eyes so hurt. It wasn't fair, I was the one who had been hurt, he didn't have any right to those feelings.
I felt the tiniest stirring of anger, and reached for it with greedy hands, needing it.
"Have you forgotten that I am Fallen? I don't talk to humans. I am a bad person. I do bad things. You don't get to judge me by your mortal standards, because I am not one of you!"
"I wanted you to be more! Why is that so wrong?" I stared at him with disbelief. "You don't get to make excuses for yourself. You don't get to write it off as being Fallen, because you are capable of rational thought, you complete and utter arsehole."
"Wha
t did I do wrong? Tell me. Tell me and I'll stop!"
I realised then that he was begging. My jaw dropped open, and I couldn't do anything other than blink in shock.
What did he do wrong? You're making a big deal out of nothing. He was trying to protect you from other demons, he doesn't feel that way or think of you that way. Why are you being so difficult?
I drew in a deep breath as my thoughts turned on me. I didn't know what to do. I covered my face with both my hands, shaking my head, trying to figure it out. I dragged my hands down and let them fall to my side. I felt so lost.
"I..." I started to talk but now it was me that couldn't find the words needed. I dropped down onto the hard concrete, letting the pain lance up my back and drive my brain to work again. "You said I belonged to you." It sounded so petty now, but it had hurt me.
He walked over and knelt in front of me, cupping my face in both his hands. "I am sorry, Blair. I am sorry that I hurt you. Please...Don't hate me."
I knew that I couldn't hate him, and maybe that was what wasn't fair. It was certainly dangerous, and I couldn't ever let him know that.
"I don't hate you, Mal." I said, pulling in a much-needed breath of air. "I get it. I understand why it's necessary around other demons, but don't do it when it's just you and me. Don't ever say that to me again."
His eyes searched mine, still panicked, and he nodded. "I won't. I won't say it again." He let go of my face and sat down opposite me.
We stayed like that for a while, just breathing and letting the emotions die down.
"We were supposed to spar," I said at last, cracking a smile.
"Well, you tried to kill me, I think that counts."
I laughed, shaking my head. "Yeah, OK."
He stood and then helped me to my feet.
"What if, instead of further enraging you, we get some ice cream? My treat?"
I squinted at him suspiciously. "Is this a demon trick? Am I going to find myself in another pact?"
He held up both hands, laughing. "I promise it's just ice cream. No strings attached."
"All right then."
