by Alice Wilde
Without breaking our kiss, Li shifts me underneath his body as he gradually presses more of his weight onto me. I’m still fully clothed, but even so, I can’t help but feel electricity coursing through me at his touch. We continue to kiss, and Li carefully pulls out the pins in my hair before gently running his hands through it.
“Your hair is so soft,” Li whispers, briefly pulling away from my lips to look at me with a gentleness I’ve rarely seen in a man.
“And yours is dripping all over me,” I say with mock annoyance. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
Li gives me a slight smile and then kisses me again.
A throat clears loudly from the other side of the room, and Li and I break apart momentarily as Luo says something in an obviously annoyed tone.
“He wants us to hurry things along,” Li says uncomfortably.
I sigh and nod in understanding, but we remain staring at each other for a while longer.
“It’s okay, Li,” I say. “It’ll be okay.”
Li smiles softly and runs the back of his finger along my jawline. “I don’t want to rush this.”
“I don’t think we have much choice,” I say with a nervous laugh.
Li continues to look at me as though he’ll never see me again and then shifts his weight to one side to take a look at my dress.
“How do I get this off you?” he asks.
“To be honest, I don’t know,” I say.
Li looks at me curiously.
“The maids help me to dress and undress every day.”
“I’d take the time to figure it out, but I don’t think time is on our side,” Li says quite seriously. “Do you mind if I tear it off of you?”
I find the question funny, but only because he’s the first man to take the time to worry about ruining my dress. It’s quite endearing.
“Go ahead,” I whisper.
Li runs a finger along the neckline of my dress and then stops once he finds one of the seams. With two hands, he pinches the fabric on each side of the seam between his thumb and forefinger and then tugs them apart. The dress rips apart as if it is sewn together by nothing more than a string of hair. As easy as it is for him to tear the fabric, Li takes his time and is careful not to reveal any of my skin in the process.
“I think I can remove it now,” Li says, searching my face for permission.
“That’s fine,” I say, but Li doesn’t move, and I suddenly realize his hands are shaking. “Are you okay?”
Li doesn’t answer as his nerves start to get the better of him. I see Luo observing us carefully out of the corner of my eye. Grabbing the wrist of one of Li’s trembling hands, I pull aside the upper part of my dress and place his hand squarely on my breast. I can feel Li grow tense beside me as he tries not to move or look.
“Li?” I whisper urgently. “You have my permission to touch me. Please, the emperor is getting suspicious.”
Li breathes softly, his breath tickling against my skin as he gradually lifts his eyes to look at me. Almost instinctively, his hand twitches against my breast but then stops. The pause only lasts a few seconds as Li runs his fingers gently down the slope of my breast, across my nipple, and then over to the other. I shiver with delight.
He glances up at me briefly, and I give him an encouraging smile before he returns to massaging my breasts.
Li’s touch is extremely gentle, as though he’s afraid he’s going to hurt me with every movement. I can feel the heat of his body rise as he continues to lay propped up on one arm beside me, blocking my body from Luo’s view. He traces his fingertips down the center of my chest, stopping just short of my bellybutton, the remainder of my body still covered by my dress. His jaw tightens as he lays his hand flat on my stomach for a moment, sliding it around my waist and pulling my body tightly against his own.
Sliding his hand lower down my side, Li looks back at my face and then leans down to kiss me. It’s hard to focus on any one sensation. We kiss passionately, his soft lips melding perfectly with my own as his fingers find their way between my legs, sending spasms of pleasure shooting through me.
I moan between kisses and Li pulls away from me, his face full of alarm.
“Did I hurt you?” he whispers.
“Of course not,” I say with a laugh, and then my eyes grow wide. “Why would you think that?”
Li’s face reddens slightly, and I’m almost certain I know the answer before he speaks.
“I…I’ve never done this,” Li says quietly.
I stare at him, dumbfounded. All this time I’d thought I was the inexperienced one, but it turns out that one of my companions is a centuries-old virgin. No wonder he is so nervous.
“You’re doing fine,” I say reassuringly. “More than fine, actually.”
“Get on with it already,” Luo grumbles. “The way you’re acting, someone might think it was your first time together.”
Li looks at me uncomfortably and then takes me into his arms, pulling the rest of my clothes from my body before returning me to the bed. He shifts his weight on top of me, spreading my legs to position himself comfortably between them, all the while making sure to keep our bodies hidden from prying eyes.
I hadn’t realized until this very moment just how huge Li is. All three of my men are big, but Li’s body somehow seems even more massive than the other two. He’s propped up on one elbow, a hand holding one of my legs pressed against his own as he looks down at me. I run my hands down his chest, marveling in the silkiness of his skin. I swear I can feel his heart pounding hard enough to break free of his ribcage.
Li shifts his weight on top of me and my eyes grow wide as I feel something press against my stomach. If I thought the rest of Li was huge in comparison to Roan and Ero, I was sure of it now. I have to double check that Li’s arms are actually accounted for before my mouth goes completely dry and I realize this is my first time consciously choosing to be with a man in this way. Even with Ero, I had blacked out before I had time to register anything but pain.
Li kisses me gently and then lowers himself far enough down my body that he’s able to press the tip of his cock against my opening. I feel a shudder run through him, and he freezes in place, his eyes closed as he tries to drive himself to continue.
“Annalise,” Li says quietly.
“Yes?”
Li opens his eyes to look me in the eye, his supporting arm still trembling beside me. “I love you.”
And with those words, Li eases himself into me. I’m surprised with myself and how I only seem to want more of him the further he pushes, but he stops.
“You look like you’re in pain,” Li says quietly, his face full of concern.
“Shh,” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss me, forcing him to enter me further and faster than he had intended and I feel a sharp pain, but it passes just as quickly.
We remain motionless as Li kisses me gently for a little while, and then he begins to rock back and forth on top of me. I pull away from his kiss in an effort to catch my breath as feel a climax unlike any I’ve had before suddenly racing toward me. Digging my fingers into Li’s back, I cry out. Li groans and I find my body suddenly filled with intense heat.
Li looks down at me apologetically.
“I didn’t…I didn’t know that…It just happened so fast. I’m sorry,” he says before gently kissing my forehead and then carefully removing himself from my body.
I don’t say anything, instead remaining motionless on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, allowing the waves of pleasure to ebb and flow through me.
Li lays down next to me and pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head. It’s only now that I notice Luo has walked out of the room, and we’re finally alone.
Watching the lanterns twinkle in the darkness above us, I quickly fall asleep in Li’s arms.
Eighteen
Li
I can’t sleep. Annalise fell asleep within a matter of minutes of us being left alone, but I can’t shake the feeli
ng of guilt that’s flooding through me right now.
Annalise lets out a soft sigh against my skin, sending a shiver through me. I won’t deny that I enjoyed being with her. No, I more than enjoyed it. It was the most amazing feeling I’ve ever shared with anyone, and the closest I’ve ever felt to another human since the day I first discovered my healing magic with Xiaomei. But now, all I can think about is how this all came about—and how much Roan is going to hate me.
He’s already been through the wringer with Ero, and then finding out Annalise is pregnant…and now this. Perhaps he doesn’t need to know. No, I can’t keep this from him, and I won’t make Annalise be the one to tell him.
What’s worse is that I don’t want this to be the last time I’m physically intimate with Annalise, and it won’t be if she’s okay with that. I’ll even willingly share her with Roan if it comes down to it.
Annalise shifts in her sleep, her soft skin brushing against my own and sending a small current of electricity through my lower half. I stare up at the lanterns hanging above us and wonder how I’ve managed to live so long without experiencing this, but I already know the answer.
There had only been one other woman who had ever made me feel anywhere close to the way Annalise does, and she turned to dust long ago. A small twinge of pain shoots through me at the thought, but it just makes me hold Annalise tighter against me. I never want to experience that sense of loss again, and least of all with Annalise. Whatever the cost, I’ll protect her until my dying breath.
I absentmindedly stroke the side of her arm that’s exposed to me as I allow myself to wander off into thoughts of our future. Annalise wriggles in my arm at my touch and then changes position, throwing one leg across my body as she snuggles in closer against my side. I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly as I try to distract myself with other thoughts, but Annalise won’t stop fidgeting in her sleep, and the leg she’s draped across my groin is quickly arousing me.
“Annalise?”
No answer. I can’t help myself; I want her just as much as ever…and I want her now.
“Annalise?” I whisper louder, with more urgency this time.
But she continues to sleep. I lay still on my back, willing my arousal to go away, but it only gets more uncomfortable with each passing moment. I reach down and grab Annalise’s leg as I turn toward her, resting it over my side so we’re now facing each other.
I could take her right this very second, but looking down at her small face, resting peacefully beside me, I can’t. Even if she feels the same way about me as I do her, I just can’t bring myself to touch her without her being completely aware.
My cock pulses with need, but I don’t act on the feeling. I caress Annalise’s cheek with my thumb and content myself with her presence, allowing the ache in my body to be just that. As agonizing as it may be in this moment, I won’t allow it to force me to lose my self-control.
Annalise’s eyes flutter open as I trace my fingertips along the length of her arm.
“Li?” she says sleepily.
“Shh,” I say. “Go back to sleep.”
“Li,” Annalise persists, “I can feel you poking into my belly.”
Looking down in alarm, my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment as I realize she’s right.
“Sorry—”
I stop mid-apology as her small hand grabs my dick.
“I want you, too,” Annalise says quietly, stroking me.
I need no further encouragement, and for the second time that night, I give myself wholly to her.
Nineteen
Annalise
I wake the next morning, tucked away in Li’s arms as he continues to sleep. If I could move, I would, but it’s like sleeping in a heavy set of chains, albeit far more comfortable…aside from the fact he’s once again hard and pressed tightly against my back. Perhaps if I weren’t so sore, I’d be a little more enthusiastic about it. I relax and let myself enjoy the moment nonetheless.
Li smells pleasantly of lilacs in spring, which surprises me after everything we did last night. If I weren’t already pregnant, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out I was now. I blush at the thought, and then my mind suddenly jumps to Roan, my heart sinking.
Of all three of my men, he has been given the short end of the stick when it comes to our relationship. My feelings haven’t changed toward him, but I can’t imagine how he must already feel, and I’m afraid this will break his heart completely.
Li moves beside me, releasing me momentarily from his arms as he stretches himself awake.
“Good morning,” Li says in a low voice, before pulling me into a soft kiss.
I smile gently at him, but he pulls away to look at me in concern.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m worried about Roan,” I say. “I don’t know how he’s going to handle this.”
“Ah. Try not to think about it, Little Bird. I’m the one who needs to deal with this. It is my fault, after all.”
“Of the three of you, Roan is the only one who’s actually my husband,” I say, guilt welling up inside me. “And yet, he’s also the one who has been forced to remain at arm’s length. And now I’m carrying someone else’s child and sleeping with yet another.”
Li’s face looks stricken as I finish speaking. “You regret what happened with me then?” Li asks quietly.
“No,” I say. “Only that I am confused by my own feelings.”
Li remains silent, waiting for me to collect my thoughts.
“The only way I know how to explain it is that I care for each of you in the same way. I never thought I’d be so lucky to want any man, and here I am wanting three. It’s selfish, I know, but I’ve never felt anything the way I feel when I’m with you, Ero, and Roan.” I look up at Li from where I’ve nervously begun plucking at the bedding.
“Fate has strange ways of bringing the right people together,” Li says carefully. “History is filled with the stories of men and their many wives. Why can’t it be the other way around as well?”
“You think that could work?”
“Anything is possible.”
“What about for you specifically?”
“Annalise,” Li says with a soft chuckle, “I’d do anything to be with you, as long as you wanted me…even if it meant sharing you with someone else.”
I observe Li’s face carefully, as if I think he’ll start laughing any second now.
“I don’t know why. All three of you could have any woman you wanted.”
“What if the woman all three of us want is you?”
“It’s just ridiculous,” I say in disbelief. “No man would want to share a woman.”
“And all women want to share a man?” Li asks.
The concept hits me hard. I’d never really thought much about it, but I doubt many women want to share their man either. We’re just taught to accept it.
“Annalise, you can’t choose who you love. You may be able to choose whether or not to act on that feeling, but that’s about it. I can’t speak for Roan or Ero, but if they even feel half of what I feel for you, they’d give up everything and everyone else to be with you.”
“You really are ancient, aren’t you?”
Li rolls his eyes but laughs. “I’m just trying to help. Now, let’s go find Roan.”
Roan is still asleep when we find him, and I can’t help but feel like a wretched creature as soon as I see him. He has time and again risked his life for me, and how have I repaid him? By breaking his heart time and again.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and place a hand lightly on his arm. “Roan?”
Li yanks back the bedding and I blush, turning my head away as soon as I see he’s not wearing anything.
“Sorry,” Li says, quickly covering Roan’s lower half again. “I just wanted to check his wound.”
“My God, Li,” Roan says sleepily. “I thought you’d had your fill of me yesterday.”
“What happened yesterday?” I ask.
“Li tried
to suck—”
“Nothing,” Li interrupts, giving Roan an exasperated look.
I look back and forth between them, but can’t quite figure out what they’re hiding from me. Only that Roan is laughing and Li looks uncomfortable. I’ll have to find a way to get the story out of one of them later.
“The wound is healing, although slower than I like,” Li says.
Turning to look, my mouth falls open at the surprising size of the puncture wound in Roan’s lower abdomen.
“How big was the snake shifter?”
“A hell of a lot bigger than we anticipated,” Roan answers. “Didn’t you take one of his fangs, Li?”
“Oh, yes. It should be somewhere around here.” Li gets up and starts to look around the room.
Reaching out, I touch the skin around Roan’s wound and watch in shock as it starts to heal right before my eyes.
“Li, is this supposed to happen?”
Li hurries back over to the bed and stares down at the space on Roan’s skin where the injury had once been. Bending over, Li runs his hands across the area.
“Hey, stop that,” Roan complains. “I’m not interested in a repeat of yesterday, thanks.”
“If you keep saying things like that, you’re going to have to explain yourselves,” I say.
“Annalise, would you mind letting me speak to Roan alone?”
I hadn’t expected him to speak to Roan so soon, but I nod in understanding.
“I need a bath anyway,” I say, trying my best to keep my voice steady. “Shall I meet you for breakfast in about an hour?”
“Yes.”
Before I remove myself from the bed, Roan grabs my hand and kisses it.
“See you soon, lass.”
