by Kenya Wright
As far as I was concerned, I should’ve already been in Utah. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. My heart boomed in my ears.
I sat down in front of my computer, checked my bank account, and fell out the chair. I actually fucking fell out of the damn chair.
The screen read five-hundred thousand dollars.
That’s some retainer.
Never had I seen that much money attached to anything with my name on it. I just drank that moment in for several minutes, staring at the screen with tears spilling from my eyes, whispering over and over, “Thank you. Thank you.”
I didn’t even know who I was thanking.
It’s happening. I’ve dreamt about The Moment and this is it. It isn’t tomorrow or next year or later. It is now. Right. Fucking. Now.
I let go of a long breath. Fear tumbled in my stomach. My hands shook, but I made myself get back to work.
It took me ten minutes to find a direct flight to Salt Lake City.
First class, of course. A bitch is making moves now!
Grinning the whole time, I reserved a rental car at Salt Lake City’s International Airport. I would have to drive two hours to get to where Gio had hid himself. I hoped the weather was good. Although I’d been in New York for a few years, I still wasn’t used to driving in the snow.
My phone rang. I checked the screen, and it was Gio. I screamed. I’d probably woken up my poor neighbor upstairs from his usual afternoon nap.
Girl! Get it together.
I breathed in and out and then answered, “Hello, Gio.”
“You sound happy?”
“I’m beyond excited.”
“So, you’ve heard the news?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to come until—”
“I’ll be there tonight.”
Silence hit the line. I didn’t know how to take it.
Did that make him upset? Fuck. He had plans.
“Um...I don’t have to come tonight, if you’re busy,” I said.
Of course, he’s busy. I would be the last person he would want to be with on Christmas Eve. What was I thinking?
His next words were careful. “No, I’m not busy.”
“Are you okay with my coming tonight?”
“Definitely.”
“I will stay out of your way.”
“Good. I mean not good, but...” Gio sounded caught off guard. This was something I didn’t think was possible for him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. I didn’t think you would be up tonight, but...I’m pretty fucking excited.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“I’ve been working on lyrics to that new tune you sent this morning.”
“Yeah? Already? I was trying to hit you with a hard one.”
Ha! I knew it was a test.
“Let me hear it,” he said.
“Oh...well, maybe not now.” I shook my head. “It’s nowhere close to done.”
“Sing for me, Simone.”
I giggled. “I’ve already packed my keyboard.”
“Sing it acappella.”
Oh God.
“Okay, but this is so new. I barely spent an hour on it and then I was interrupted by my manager. He came over to tell me the news and completely pushed me out of my groove.”
“No excuses, Simone. I want to hear it.”
“Okay.” Biting my bottom lip, I grabbed the sheet of music, inhaled, and sang, “I’m dying to be inside of you. Give it to me, I would melt with you, I would burn for you.” He made no response. I continued, “Take me to the sky, I would fly with you, Get high with you.” My heart beat faster. “Tear open my soul, lose control with you, let it go with you.”
He groaned over the phone.
“Break me. Hurt me. Fuck me. I would lie for you, homicide for you.” I exhaled. “That’s all I had before my manager came over.”
Annoyance covered his words. “Does he come over a lot?”
“No, he just comes to check on me. He thinks I work too hard.”
“He should’ve never interrupted you. I want to know what else you would do for me.”
I smiled. “Me too.”
“Here at my house, you’ll have no distractions. He won’t be here.”
“Uh...well...he told me that he was coming up in a few days. Just to check on me.”
“He did?”
“Yes, but if there’s a problem I could—”
“No. I have enough room to fill up several families. He’ll be fine here...as long as he doesn’t get in the way.”
“He won’t. I promise you.”
“Good,” he said.
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight. I can work on the song on the airplane and—”
“No, leave the lyrics alone. Maybe your manager is right. Take a break. Just travel and enjoy yourself.”
“Fine.”
“You’re lying, aren’t you? You’re definitely going to work on the song.”
I giggled. “Pretty much.”
“Simone. Simone,” he whispered.
My name on his tongue was a beautiful sound. Butterflies fluttered inside of me.
“I can’t wait to meet you, Simone.”
“Me too.”
“See you later.”
“Bye, Gio.”
Chapter 4
Giovanni
Where words fail,
music speaks.
~Hans Christian Andersen
“Break me. Hurt me. Fuck me. I would lie for you, homicide for you.”
I hung up the phone, gripping my cock. I looked down at him and shook my head. “You know we can’t do this when she’s here. It might scare her if I take you out while she’s singing.”
The tip throbbed in response, yanking a groan from me.
She was coming tonight. Of course, I’d told Midnight to let her decide the best time. I figured it would be next month after the holidays, not tonight.
Am I fucking up by having her here? No. She won’t be a distraction. She’s a fucking genius.
I replayed those last lyrics in my head.
“Break me. Hurt me. Fuck me. I would lie for you, homicide for you.”
She was so fucking ride or die. So hard. So willing. So ready to do anything for her man and let him do anything to her. The very idea made me want to get on my knees, spread her thighs, and lick her until she lost her voice.
She’s coming tonight. Not next week or next month, but tonight.
I thought about what it would be like to spend time with her. If she was mine, I would want to spend all day in bed, cuddled up naked and keeping her warm. I would want to make love to her over and over, only letting her out of bed to grab her guitar. Naked, of course. I’d want to taste every inch, every curve, eating her pussy, swirling wet circles around her throbbing bud.
“Break me. Hurt me.”
We’d have to change that part of the song. I couldn’t even think of hurting her, metaphorically or not. I just wanted to bring her passion and pleasure. I wanted to hear her moan, taste her sweetness on my tongue.
I rubbed my fingers up the length of my cock. Pre-cum crowned at the top.
Fuck, man. You’re losing it. It was a song, not an invitation to fuck her. She was singing a damn song.
Frowning, I let go of my cock and stared at him. “Come on. We’re better than this. We can maintain control.”
I had no idea if she was even attracted to me. Sure, she probably would love the idea of fucking Gio, the super star, but that wasn’t what I wanted. If she was like that, then I wouldn’t even want a sample.
Why am I even thinking like this? Keep it professional, man.
I zipped up my pants, pissed at myself.
In this industry, men liked to use their titles and fame to get women to do anything. Some producers thought it was a little game, having women lick another female’s pussy in the studio just to sing the hook on their song. One guy made a chick his sex slave for a
month and still didn’t give her a feature on his album. Once I heard about shit like that, I never worked with those men again and tried to pull some contacts to get the women jobs. I’d prided myself on not allowing that sort of bullshit around me, but I wondered if I could’ve done more.
There will always be dogs, wolves, sheep, and lambs. Now, it’s time to stand for something. I’ve let enough time go by.
Jason knew if he took advantage of any female I would’ve broken his legs. Later, my mother would’ve flown her private jet down to stick her foot in his ass. Not that Jason ever considered devious shit like that. While he fucked with drugs, he didn’t embrace the rapey-sex-addiction-sludge that other men in the industry wore like crowns. When it came to the music side of Jason’s and my life, women were our equals not objects to use and abuse.
But now I’m being rapey, right? Grabbing my dick like a pervert every time she sings. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I wanted to fight the thoughts in my head. In my defense, her damn voice triggered an erection. I bet her voice would incite most men to get hard. Instantly, I hated the idea of anyone hearing her voice and becoming aroused.
Get over it. I can’t keep that voice away from the world. She’s going to be a star, regardless.
Listening to her, it made me think differently about life in general. While I’d sought her out for myself, I was starting to wonder if maybe I was put on this earth for her. Maybe all the things that I had accomplished, all the fame I’d earned, had been just to attract her attention. Perhaps, she was the true star and would be a bigger legend than I was. Perhaps, I was just put here to lay bricks out for her path.
I could teach her so many things. I could show her the right way to navigate through this industry. And damn...we would make some amazing music.
I zipped up my pants, knowing that I had to give up on any idea of sex with her. There was something bigger going on around us. For the first time in a long time, I was excited to sing.
Exhilaration…music…lyrics.
They ran through my head constantly.
For the first time, since Jason’s death, my passion returned.
I’m working with her. This is bigger than sex or anything else.
I buzzed my house manager and let him know that we would have two guests coming. I wasn’t a fan of her manager tagging along, but maybe Ru would keep me in check. It was clear I didn’t have control of myself when she sang.
I’d only met Ru a few times. When he was twelve and I was eight, my mom had played his mother on a Disney movie called Kid Detective. When the cameras stopped, he remained by her side, holding her hand as if she was really his mom. My being a kid too, I took that as a challenge and tore my mom’s hand from his. Mom made sure I apologized and took us both off to swim at the hotel and eat lunch. Later, she explained that his mother never came around much, too busy spending money, so my mom had tried to be there for him.
The other time I saw Ru was shorter. Several years later, Ru showed up at one of my listening parties with a girl on each arm, talking about how he was going to change the music industry. He offered to manage me. I’d already had Midnight, and we ended it at that.
Now he’s managing Simone. That should be fine as long as he stays out of our way.
Hours passed as I tried to keep myself busy. The staff had been running around the whole house, cleaning and folding, vacuuming and dusting. Servants giggled downstairs. My butler had a cheer in his voice. It seemed everybody was excited to finally have some action around the house. All I’d done this past year was stroll around the property like a ghost, mumbling out what I needed, playing with my trains, and mostly sticking to myself.
She’s coming tonight. Fuck.
I must’ve spent most of the afternoon organizing my studio, making sure it was tidy and impressive. I could count on my hand how many times I’d cleaned anything in my life. But there I was all afternoon, wiping the area down. I even vacuumed, after getting lots of instruction from one of my maids. She must’ve giggled the whole time as she watched me struggle with how to turn the damn vacuum on.
Will she like my studio?
Never had I worried about something so trivial, but Simone had trapped my mind somehow. I dragged out my classic albums and casually placed them around the lounge area near the studio. Later, I realized it was looking like I was trying to impress her too hard and put them away to only bring them back out that night.
The sun set, and I checked my email again, never seeing any flight itinerary from her. I called her phone, but it went straight to voicemail. By ten in the evening, I called Midnight, got Ru’s number, and called her manager.
“Hello?” Ru said over the line.
“Hey, this is Gio.”
“Hey, Gio, what’s up, man?” Ru asked. “Looks like we’re going to be working together for a while.”
“Yeah. So...when is she coming?”
“My understanding is that she was going to try and come tonight, but I haven’t heard from her.”
“Me either. I’ve been calling her phone.”
“That’s no surprise. She probably left her charger. She does that a lot. Is it going straight to voicemail?”
“Yeah.” Anger rose in me, but I worked on keeping it down. “So, you don’t know where she’s at?”
“No, but I just did a U-turn to stop by her apartment. It should take me twenty minutes.”
“You don’t know if she’s on the plane? Shouldn’t you be handling her travel plans?”
“She wanted to do it all herself. She got too excited.”
“So then how is she coming?” I asked.
“I assume by plane, Gio.”
Anger blazed on my tongue. “Coach seats?”
“Relax. I’m sure your retainer allowed her to upgrade the trip. And trust me, Simone is more than capable of booking a flight. I’m more annoyed by your invitation. No disrespect, but you could’ve waited until after Christmas to invite her up.”
“I thought she would come up later.”
“No, she’s too excited about the album.”
“Look. I’m just worried. I want to make sure she’s safe. I’m two hours from any major airport.”
“Fine, but I have it from here.”
“Good,” I said. “Let me know when you hear from her. It’s already ten.”
“Yeah. I’m getting worried. You let me know if she arrives.”
“I will.” I hung up and paced back and forth in my bedroom.
She’s probably on the plane, writing music as Ru and I go crazy.
I moved my curtain, slid the door open, and walked out into my balcony. Outside, snow drifted through the air, soft and covering the green grass like sugary icing on a cake.
I should’ve had a car pick her up from the airport. I figured Ru took care of everything. If he didn’t, then how is she getting here?
The very idea that she’d made her own plans was completely foreign to me. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d ever purchased my own plane ticket or made hotel reservations. When I was a kid, my nanny did it. When I was an adult, my manager did it. And now, my butler took care of all those needs.
It was silly, but I found her to be fucking courageous and fiercely independent. Most of the women I’d spent time with would’ve expected to be picked up in my jet with a limo carrying them around.
I should’ve offered the jet. How fucking stupid of me? How the hell is she getting here?
Snow coated the balcony and crunched under my boots as I walked to the ledge. This wasn’t a good night to drive—too dark and slippery. I breathed in air and frosted my lungs. Flakes landed on my face and hair, slowly melting. Icicles dripped and cracked around me.
My butler, David appeared on the balcony. “I’ve made you some hot chocolate with sprinkled cinnamon and whipped cream.”
“Just how I like it. Thank you.” The aroma danced in my nostril. I sipped and hot cinnamon chocolate goodness warmed my mouth.
David walk
ed off.
“Hold on.” I turned around. “Our guest may have taken the road by herself tonight.”
Worry crossed David’s face. “This isn’t a good night for that.”
“Let’s see if we can get the authorities out there, checking my road and the surrounding area.”
I had a private road that lasted three miles and rose up into the mountains. While it had been on the map and in the instructions in the email, that had been meant for her driver.
“Okay, sir,” David said. “I’ll make some calls and I’ll also have the grounds crew put on their boots and jackets and check around. They know this area better than any of us.”
“Sounds good. When they leave to check it out, let me know. I’m coming.”
Shock hit his eyes. “You’re coming, sir?”
“Yes.” I smiled. “From time to time, I do like to open my front door and leave the house, although I haven’t done it, in a year.”
David’s face held a grin, which was something I usually didn’t see on him. “Yes, sir. I will let you know.”
“Good.” I remained on the balcony, sipping hot chocolate as tiny flakes fell around me. “Simone, you better be okay.”
I was sure she was fine, but after Jason’s death I worried about people’s safety even more. For some reason, as I sipped my hot chocolate, memories of Jason’s funeral came to my mind.
The day had been shades of black, dark and gloomy, the afternoon a musty grey filled with blurred faces and muted colors. Hundreds of black umbrellas sheltered fans and paparazzi as a storm brewed above us. Even the heavens had cried out for Jason’s death.
We’d wasted so much time. All the parties. All the fucking women. What had we really done? And then, he was gone.
That day, my heart swam against the current, clogging my soul. All around the outside of the massive church, stone-white angels spread stiff wings to welcome us. I found no comfort in their hard faces, just a reminder of life’s hopeless truth.
We all died. No matter how much money or fame, we all would die. Nothing could stop that.
Inside the church, Beyoncé had sung Always Remember Me, and her beautiful voice carried over the loud speaker to us outside. The lyrics poured over us, mingling with the cold rain.
