“Are they sure?” she asked. “Maybe it’s not really him. Maybe it’s a guy who looks like him.”
“His girlfriend, Nancy, identified the body.”
She seemed to fold in on herself. Her hands clutched at her arms and her shoulders bent forward. He wanted to comfort her, but she didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He couldn’t blame her.
She turned away and walked over to the police officers. The detective in charge pulled out a notebook and began asking questions. Cort had already told them what he knew. He’d asked the cops for extra protection for the way station, but they didn’t have the manpower to do more than patrol the area.
He looked at Faith one more time. She stood with her back to him, speaking softly. The detective asked another question, and she nodded. Cort hovered nearby for several minutes. When it became obvious she wasn’t going to acknowledge him or accept his offer of help, he went into the building to try and contact Jeff.
He entered her office and was greeted by an irritated Sparky.
With all the activity around the compound, the leopard was chained up during the day. Sparky walked to the end of the chain and tugged, then sat down and humphed in disgust. Cort scratched the cat’s ears and turned toward Faith’s desk. A flat white box sat on the chair he normally used. It was stacked with mail. He picked up the top letter and stared at the address. Then he looked at the second and the third. He felt the weight of the envelopes. Every piece of correspondence was addressed to a government agency. He saw the stack of forms on her desk had been reduced considerably. There was a large pile rubberbanded together with a big note reading “Ask Attorney.” A notepad contained a list of contractors. The area code next to the phone numbers was unfamiliar to him, but he would bet money it was for North Dakota. She was going to do it. She was going to open the snow-leopard breeding center.
Pride welled up inside of him. Pride for her and her gutsy nature. There weren’t many people, male or female, who would be willing to risk it all for an endangered species. It wasn’t just that she might face difficulties in handling red tape and funding and the unique problems of raising the leopards themselves. She was giving up so much. A normal life. Home, family, things most women wanted. She was willing to put her needs aside for the greater good.
He cursed under his breath. He had to forget about what had happened with Faith and get on with his job. He sat in her chair and picked up the phone. After punching in the familiar number, he waited.
It was answered after the first ring. “Markum.”
“Where the hell have you been?”
“Hello to you, too, buddy,” Jeff said, sounding weary. “I’ve been chasing the bad guys.”
“Did you catch them?”
“No. He slipped through our fingers at the last minute.” Jeff exhaled wearily. “What can I do for you?”
“We’ve had a shooting up here. Faith was injured. And one of the kids working here turned up dead.”
Jeff was quiet for a minute, then he said, “Start from the beginning.”
Cort brought him up to date. He finished his story by telling him about the police showing up that afternoon with news of Ken’s murder.
“The men after the cubs will make their move soon,” Jeff said.
“I know. That’s why I was trying to get ahold of you. You have to get the cubs out of here. We can’t wait until Friday.”
“You’re right. Ironically, I was chasing the guy responsible for buying the cubs in the first place. That’s why I took off. I didn’t have time to let you know, but I knew you would handle it. How’s Faith doing?”
For a second, Cort thought he meant because of what had happened that morning. “She seems fine, but Ken’s death shook her up.”
He heard Jeff tapping his pen on his desk. His boss cleared his throat. “I’ll have a team in there first thing in the morning. The cubs will be moved, but I’ll leave the security in place to protect Faith. Can you hold out for the night?”
“Yeah. I made a few phone calls of my own while you were gone and called in some markers. I’ve already got four extra guys here.”
“That’s why you’re the best, Cort,” Jeff said. “I couldn’t have left Faith in better hands.”
Cort didn’t bother responding. His boss had that one a hundred and eighty degrees wrong, but there was no point in bringing it up now. Jeff would find out the truth soon enough.
“I’d feel better if Faith wasn’t at the compound tonight,” Jeff said. “Why don’t you send her into town?”
“I’ve tried. She refuses to budge.”
“Try again.”
“I’ll do my best. You think I want her here when the bullets fly?”
“I know she can be a very stubborn lady.”
“You got that right.”
“Anything else?” Jeff asked. “Are you and your men armed?”
For the first time since that morning, Cort smiled. “We have enough guns and claw power to hold off an invasion from a third-world country.” His smile faded when he remembered that Faith had been the one to use that example. It had been his first morning at the way station. Funny, he would never have guessed it would turn out this way.
“What about the rest of it?” Jeff asked. “What about you?”
With all that had been happening, it took Cort a second to figure out what his boss meant. “I remembered everything,” he said flatly, fighting the anger inside.
Jeff didn’t answer.
“You didn’t think I would, did you?”
“I knew you’d remember,” his boss said finally.
“You don’t sound very happy, Jeff. Can’t say as I blame you.” He thought about the moment when he’d come face-to-face with Dan and pulled a gun on his friend because that was his job. “When this business with the cubs is over, you and I are going to have a talk about what happened down there.”
“I look forward to it,” Jeff said quietly. “You deserve some answers.”
It wasn’t the fight he’d been hoping for, but it would have to do. “Get the men here as quickly as you can,” Cort said. “We’ll hold down the fort until then.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
He left Faith’s office and headed toward the foyer. Once there, he pushed open the front door and stepped out into the parking lot. The police cars were pulling out. Faith stood watching them.
“Faith?”
She didn’t bother turning around. “He’s going to come here, isn’t he? The man who killed Ken. He’s going to come for the cubs and he doesn’t care who stands in his way.”
“Yes.”
She nodded once. “At least you have the decency to tell me the truth about that. I appreciate it. We better get ready.” She spun on her heel and started toward the building. As she brushed past him, he grabbed her arm. Immediately, she jerked away from him. “Don’t touch me.”
Something hot and wild flared from her eyes, but it had nothing to do with passion and everything to do with betrayal. Intellectually he’d known he’d hurt her, but until this moment, until he saw the raw emotion in her eyes, he hadn’t known how much. Her agony caught him like a bullet to the gut.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“’Sorry’ doesn’t cut it.”
“I know. For what it’s worth, I never meant to hurt you.” She looked at him for a long moment. “It’s not worth a damn.” She pulled open the door and stepped inside.
He followed her. “Faith, wait. We have to talk. Not about this morning, if you’d rather not, but about what’s going to happen tonight.”
She stopped so quickly, he almost plowed into her. She balled her hands into fists and looked at him. “How dare you?”
“Stop it. I’m not talking about sex.” This time when he grabbed her arms, he held on tight enough to bruise. She twisted away from him, but couldn’t break free. “Listen to me. That man will come back. He’s already proved himself a killer.”
She stopped struggling. Fear invaded her eyes. “Wha
t are you going to do?”
“My job.”
Faith flinched, but didn’t look away. “What can I do to help?”
“Leave.” He shook off her attempt to interrupt him. “I mean it, Faith. It would be a hell of a lot safer for all of us if you weren’t here. You’re not a pro. I don’t want you to get hurt. I spoke to Jeff, and he’s going to move the cubs, but he can’t do that until morning. I want you to drive to town and check into a hotel. Two of the security guards will go with you and make sure you’re safe.”
“No.”
She gave one last pull and he released her. He saw a red mark on each of her arms. It darkened into the shape of a man’s hand.
“I won’t go,” she said. “Beth and Rob can’t come to work. Who’s going to take care of the cats? You’re going to be busy. Someone has to look out for the animals. The guards are terrified, and if you sent one of them in to clean a cage, you would be asking for a bloodbath. You’re the best. Jeff told me. So keep me alive. It should be easy enough.”
She pushed past him and walked down the hall, stopping at the small room used to hold supplies. By the time he’d joined her, she’d unlocked the weapons locker and had pulled out a .22 rifle. She reached in and removed a small revolver and two boxes of ammunition.
She looked up at him and smiled faintly. “As you can see, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“I never doubted it for a minute.” A single strand of hair floated against her cheek. He wanted to tuck it behind her ear and stroke her soft skin. He wanted to taste her lips and love her into a passionate frenzy until she remembered nothing except the magic they’d shared with their bodies.
She wore no makeup. Her T-shirt wasn’t particularly new or stylish. Her jeans had a rip above one knee. Sensible work boots covered her feet. There was nothing glamorous about Faith. Yet he’d never seen her look more beautiful. Her plain clothes, her lack of artifice, made him ache. She’d never pretended to be more than what she was. He was beginning to see he’d destroyed something very precious.
He remembered the addressed envelopes in her office. “You made up your mind,” he said. “You’re going ahead with the snow-leopard project.”
She tilted her chin up. “Yes. There’s nothing to keep me here.” He wondered if that was a jab at him, but he didn’t ask. Better not to know. “You’ll be a success.”
She didn’t answer. Some of her pain had faded, along with the fear. Strength and determination shielded her emotions. She tucked the pistol into her waistband at the small of her back, closed the locker and picked up the rifle.
“Make sure no one gets trigger-happy and shoots one of the cats,” she said, brushing past him. “And stay out of my way.”
He couldn’t let it end like this. “I know there’s nothing I can say to excuse what I did.”
She froze in the doorway, her back to him. “You’re right about that.”
“I never meant to mislead you. I don’t know why I lied, except that it was easier than telling the truth. You’re right. I was treating you like all the other women in my life. But by the time I figured out you were different, I didn’t know how to fix it. I’m sorry.”
She looked at the ground. “What are you sorry for, Cort? That you never loved that woman? That you said things to hurt me? Are you sorry I’m upset?”
“Yes.” He stepped up behind her and took the rifle from her. Slowly, so she wouldn’t run away, he turned her until he could look at her face. “All those things.”
But he knew something was terribly wrong. She didn’t look any happier. Her mouth trembled slightly. The knot in his gut gave another twist.
“You still don’t get it,” she said. “That’s not what matters. Why did you take your last assignment?”
What did that have to do with anything? “It was my job.”
“Dan was your friend. Someone else could have gone to bring him back. Someone else could have handled the situation. But you agreed. Why?”
“I’m the best.”
She nodded slowly. “And that’s all you’ll ever be. Damn good at your job.” She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, obviously struggling for control. It didn’t help. A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
He couldn’t have been more surprised if she’d pulled out her pistol and shot him. Faith wasn’t the type who cried. Cort touched his index finger to her cheek and swept the tear away. The moisture clung to his skin. He curled his hand into a fist, but he could still feel that tiny spot of salty moisture.
She opened her eyes and blinked away the tears. “Fight your fight, Cort. Be the best. Make it enough. Hold on to that, because everything else in your life is meaningless. You want to know why I think you went to South America?”
More than anything, he wanted to disappear and forget the entire conversation. This wasn’t what he’d planned. But it was like a car-accident scene. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t make himself look away. “Why?”
“You went because you didn’t care about Dan. What kind of man voluntarily puts himself through that kind of hell? I don’t think you’ve cared about anyone, ever. Not even yourself.”
“That’s not true. Dan was my friend.”
“I’m supposed to be your friend, too. Were you as kind to him as you were to me?”
Her verbal blow landed right in the center of his soul and knocked his facade askew. There was nowhere to hide from her words. He could run to the other side of the world, but her voice would follow, screaming out from his mind.
“That’s not—”
“Fair?” she asked, staring at him. “Don’t talk to me about fair. Were you fair when you let me believe you were the kind of man who knew how to love? I’d just confessed my heart’s desire to you. No one ever loved me, no matter what I did. You rewarded that confidence with a lie. You let me believe and hope you were different.” Another tear slipped down her cheek, but this time she was the one to brush it away. “You let me believe you might be the one.”
She took the rifle from him and rested the butt on the ground. “You have taught me one thing. I’m a strong and determined woman. I’m going to start that breeding program and I’m going to make it work. I’m going to pour my whole being into it, and it’s going to be a success. You know why?”
He sensed she was about to deliver the death blow. He stiffened to prepare himself. “Why?”
“Because I was ready to give you my heart, but you weren’t interested.”
She picked up the rifle and walked away.
He watched her go and knew in a blinding flash of truth that he’d lost her forever. Worse, he’d never known he had the chance to have her. He’d been too caught up in his war against faceless enemies to realize there was more to life than battles. Even warriors needed a home to return to.
He had found the one thing he’d been searching for all his life, and now she was gone. He had killed her love for him, as surely as he’d killed Dan.
*
Faith spent the rest of the afternoon making phones calls to potential donors to the way station. She spoke to Jeff to see if he could help her with her application for two breeding pairs of snow leopards. By tacit agreement, neither mentioned the cubs, the danger they faced, or Cort. If Jeff heard the catch in her voice, he didn’t say anything. He promised to contact several friends he had in Washington and gave her a few more names of possible donors. For minutes, even tens of minutes, she was able to forget what had happened. Then it would all come crashing in on her. Ken, the cubs, Cort. Her mouth would grow dry and the hole inside her would get bigger.
As dusk settled on the compound, she told herself she couldn’t hide out in her office forever. She had to face Cort. Of course he would leave in the morning, along with the cubs. In theory, she could avoid him until then.
She straightened the papers on her desk. It was so easy to be a coward, but it wasn’t her way. She might be shaking in her boots, but she would face down the fear and do the right th
ing. She would go out there and deal with Cort and the cats and the danger.
But what about the things they’d both said? She remembered how she’d angrily told Cort everything that was wrong with him. She’d lashed out like a wounded animal, seeking to inflict as much or more pain on her tormentor. She sighed. That wasn’t fair. Cort hadn’t tormented her. He’d hurt her, but she was as much to blame. She’d known from the beginning how it all would end. If the truth be told, she respected his life-style choice. After all, compared with the battle of good versus evil, how important was her heart?
She glanced at Sparky. The leopard looked bored after being chained up all day. “Come on, boy,” she said, going over and unhooking him. “Let’s go scare the guards.”
Sparky leapt to his feet and followed her to the door. He made a beeline for her apartment, rushing with a haste that told her Cort must have already put out his dinner.
The small living room was empty, but a light shone from the kitchen. Dear God, she didn’t want to face him in there. Not with the memories of their lovemaking so fresh in her mind. But there wasn’t any escape. She drew in a deep breath and forced herself to walk in calmly.
Cort stood at the stove. Two pots and a pan sat on lit burners. The table was set.
“I thought you might be hungry,” he said without turning around. “I’ve made chicken curry.”
So they were going to pretend it never happened. She could do that, too, even though it felt dishonest. “It smells great. Can I help?”
“Why don’t you go tell the guards we’re letting Sparky out.” He jerked his head toward the pantry. She could see the leopard’s long tail flicking back and forth as he consumed his dinner.
“Sure,” she said, wondering how she would get through this last evening. She would almost rather fight with him than pretend they were strangers.
But she didn’t get her wish. The meal was long and awkward, with starts and stops of conversation, avoided glances and unspoken feelings hovering like unwelcome guests. It was as if they’d never laughed and talked together. Too much pain, she realized. Too many truths. As soon as they’d finished, she shooed him out of the room and took her time doing the dishes. When the last pot was clean, she wiped the counters, then carefully folded the dishcloth over the edge
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