by Lucy Gordon
It was Netta who did the real cooking, sweeping in every evening with an elaborate meal that she swore she’d ‘just thrown together’, then sweeping out and not returning until the next morning, which surprised him. Such restraint was unlike Netta.
After supper Minnie would settle down to work while he watched television. He’d offered to turn it off but she assured him this wasn’t necessary, as her concentration was deep enough to blot out distractions. And it was true, he realised, regarding her bright head bent over the papers. Her private world was always there, the door open invitingly.
He only wished he knew who was waiting for her in there. It hadn’t escaped his attention that she’d removed Gianni’s picture from his sight.
One evening Minnie put her books away, then yawned and stretched. From behind the half-open bedroom door she could hear Luke talking into his phone, and heard him say, ‘Mamma.’
As he hung up she pushed the door right open. ‘Cocoa?’
‘Lovely.’
He came out and settled on the sofa until she returned with two mugs.
‘Have you told your mother what happened to you?’ she asked.
‘Not yet. I’ll tell her when I’m human again.’
‘Tell me some more about your family. How many are there?’
‘Eight, including our parents.’
‘Six brothers and sisters?’
‘Just brothers. Hope, my adoptive mother, had a son when she was fifteen and obviously unmarried. Her parents gave him up for adoption and told her he was dead.’
‘Swine,’ Minnie said succinctly.
‘I agree. None of us knew anything about him for years. Hope married Jack Cayman, a widower with a son called Primo, because his mother had been Italian. And they adopted me. I don’t think it was ever a very happy marriage, and it collapsed when Franco, Primo’s uncle, came visiting from Italy, and he and my mother fell in love and had a son.
‘After the divorce she got custody of me, and Primo stayed with his father, but Jack died a couple of years later and the Rinuccis took Primo to Italy. Hope went to look for him, and that was how she met Toni, Franco’s brother, and married him.’
‘What about Franco? If she had his baby, didn’t she go to him after the divorce?’
‘No, he already was married with two children, and he felt he couldn’t leave his wife.’
‘Doesn’t that make family reunions a little tense?’
‘They don’t happen often. Franco lives in Milan, which is a safe distance.’
Minnie was counting on her fingers. ‘So how do you get six sons?’
‘Toni and Hope had twins, Carlo and Ruggiero. And then last year the first son, Justin, turned up, and there was a big reunion. He came to Naples to be married-’
Luke’s voice trailed off as he realised something that astonished him.
‘What is it?’ Minnie asked, looking at him more closely.
‘He married barely six weeks ago,’ he said, sounding dazed.
‘Is that odd?’
‘I left the next day, so it means that I’ve only been here for six weeks.’
So much had happened that he seemed to have known her for ever, yet it was all crowded into that short space of time. He knew it was true, and yet he couldn’t believe it.
‘Just six weeks,’ he murmured, looking at her.
She met his eyes and he knew that she had understood. Suddenly the truth was there between them, undeniable, even for her. He reached forward to touch her face with gentle fingers.
‘Minnie-’ It was no more than a whisper.
‘Luke-please-please-go on telling me about your family.’
The moment was over, so fleeting that it had barely happened, and even he, the least subtle of men, knew that to try to prolong it would be to court disaster.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Well-we’re an odd family, some related, some sort of related, some not related at all.’
‘But the only one not at all related is you,’ she said shrewdly. ‘You’re a Cayman in the middle of a family of Rinuccis. Don’t you feel left out?’
He considered this.
‘I’m not sure. Justin isn’t a Rinucci either. He’s Justin Dane.’
‘And Primo, presumably, is a Cayman too.’
‘No, he took the family name years ago. I could have done the same. Dear old Toni said he considered me as much his son as his own boys, and I was welcome to be a Rinucci if I wanted.’
‘But you didn’t want to?’ she asked, sounding puzzled.
‘Do you think that’s strange?’
‘I can’t understand anyone choosing not to be part of a family if they had the chance. It’s so-so cold outside.’
‘I’m not exactly outside, or only to the extent that I choose to be. I guess there’s just something pigheaded in me, something that makes me stay outside the tent, or at least to be free to leave when I want. Does it matter?’
‘I suppose it might matter to the people who tried to welcome you, and maybe were left feeling rejected.’
‘I think they understood.’
‘Of course they understood, if they loved you, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t hurt.’
He frowned, but before she could speak she checked herself.
‘I shouldn’t have said that, please forget it. It’s your business. I love being part of a large family, and I forget that some people feel suffocated by it.’
‘No, not suffocated,’ he said quickly. ‘It’s just that-you’re right. I’m the only one that isn’t related by blood to any of them. I’d never really thought of that before, yet I suppose, in a way, it’s always been at the back of my mind that they all belong together in a way that I don’t.’
‘But that’s meaningless,’ she said earnestly. ‘I’m not related by blood to the Pepinos, but I’m still one of them, because they want it and I want it.’
They said no more, but her words stayed with him, keeping him awake long into the night. There was, in her, an open-hearted acceptance of life, and a need to seek and embrace warmth, that he knew to be lacking in himself. And he had never been so conscious of it as now.
The work he’d ordered was getting under way. Engineers had surveyed the building, identified several other boilers that they considered dangerous, but passed most of them as safe.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Luke told Minnie as he folded up the papers one night. ‘I want them all replaced. Every one. And stop giving me that cynical look.’
‘I’m feeling cynical. You’re playing the hero again, the grand gesture-’
‘Give me patience!’ he roared. ‘Woman, will you stop thinking the worst of me at every excuse?’
‘I don’t need an excuse, and don’t call me woman.’
‘What would you prefer? The creature from the black lagoon?’ he asked, reminding her of their first meeting in the cell.
‘No, that’s my line,’ she said, laughing, for these days their battles had lost the hostile edge and were more like humorous fencing.
‘Anyway, it’s nothing to do with playing the hero. It’s Netta. Her boiler doesn’t need replacing, but if you think I’m going to face her with that when Signora Fellini next door is having a new one, you can think again.’
‘Coward!’ she said amiably.
‘Sure I’m a coward. Netta scares me-not as much as you do, but enough.’
‘Oh, yes, you’re very scared of me! Who do you think you’re fooling?’
She’d been cooking and was now sitting beside him on the sofa, her face flushed from the heat of the kitchen, and prettier than he had ever seen it. Suddenly all his good resolutions deserted him, and he reached out, cupping his left hand behind her head and drawing her face close to his.
‘If I weren’t terrified of you, you harpy, I’d kiss you right now.’
‘But you are terrified of me,’ she reminded him in a voice that wasn’t quite steady.
You could take that two ways, he thought: as a rejection, or a dare. He was always
up for a dare.
Moving clumsily, he managed to get his bad right arm around her as well.
At this distance Minnie couldn’t miss the disturbing smile on his lips, and an even more disturbing look in his eyes.
‘I’m getting braver by the moment,’ he said. ‘Still nervous of your right hook, though.’
‘No need for that,’ she murmured. ‘I wouldn’t fight an injured man. It wouldn’t be-correct.’
‘That’s right,’ he said, lowering his lips. ‘I might sue.’
In the four years of her widowhood she’d had light flirtations, short-lived relationships that had died almost before they lived. A kiss and it was over, dying in disappointment and despair.
But Luke’s kiss was different, shocking in its intensity. Briefly Minnie put up a hand to protest, but then let it fall away. Sensations that she’d banished from her life were threatening to take control of her. They were purely physical, unmixed with tenderness, but thrilling, driving caution out.
It was crazy, reckless to kiss him back, but she found herself doing it, using both arms to clasp him, one hand seizing his head in a mirror image of his own movement, so that she could press her mouth more closely to his.
Now there was no going back, even if she’d wanted to, but there was nothing she wanted less. All the sensuality she’d suppressed was rising up to torment her, crying out that there was life still to be lived. The skills she’d thought she’d never need again clamoured for use, reminding her of how sweet it was to be held in a man’s arms, especially a man like this, who knew how to use his lips to tease a woman until she melted.
She opened her mouth a little, teasing him back, inviting, while her hands explored him, relishing the shape of his head, his shoulders. Every movement was a violation of the rules she lived by but she didn’t care. There would be time later for regrets-but there would be no regrets-regrets-
Suddenly the word shrieked at her out of the darkness. She lived with a secret that caused her such bitter regret that there was almost no room in her life for anything else. She’d survived on caution, and she was throwing it recklessly away.
She must escape the trap her own madness had created for her, and there was one way, one weapon calculated to drive him off.
Fighting the pounding of her heart until she could control herself, Minnie pressed her hands against Luke’s chest, just enough to let him know that she meant it. He drew back a little, regarding her with eyes that held a question, and a hope.
‘This is a bad idea,’ she said.
‘Minnie-’ His voice was urgent.
‘You really are a very brave man,’ she said, hoping she didn’t sound breathless and trying for a light humorous tone.
He regarded her, still with the same disturbing gleam that made it so hard for her to laugh.
‘Why, are you going to thump me after all?’ he murmured, giving her a quizzical look that almost sent her back into his arms.
‘Much worse than that,’ she said. She drew right away from him, leaning back on the sofa and regarding him humorously. ‘Luke, you’re such a clever man, I’m amazed that you didn’t see through it.’
‘See through what?’
‘Netta’s cunning little plan. Do you think it was an accident that her relatives suddenly announced a visit when you were there?’
‘It seemed a bit odd, especially as there’s been no sign of them.’
‘Of course not. That visit was conveniently cancelled as soon as Netta achieved her object, which was to get you down here, with me. Luke, wise up! Don’t you see what she’s trying to do?’
‘You mean-you and me?’
‘She’s trying to marry us off.’
‘She’s what?’
‘Netta is setting up a match between us. If she can bully us up the aisle, all the Residenza problems are solved-she thinks. I’ve tried to make her understand that she’s got it all wrong, that there’s no way you and I would ever think of getting married. But as fast as I fended off one plan she came up with another.’
‘She’s trying to-?’
‘She’s an arch conspirator. Don’t worry, I have no designs on you. I only brought you here because you looked so wretchedly ill that I couldn’t leave you to her mercies, but you’re quite safe. What happened just now-well, it didn’t mean anything.’
His eyes kindled. ‘Didn’t it?’
‘Hey, it’s been four years. How long can a woman live like a nun? You’re an attractive man. OK, I was tempted. Haven’t you ever been tempted even while one part of your mind was saying, Better not?’
‘Oh, yes,’ he said ironically. ‘That just about describes my state of mind since the day we met. You’ve had “better not” written all over you, but I like risks.’
‘So you took one, and it was nice, but now we’ve both come to our senses-’
‘Have we?’ he asked raggedly.
‘Well, unless you want to be marched up the aisle at the point of Netta’s shotgun-’ A thought seemed to occur to her. ‘Oh, Luke, I’m sorry. Are you saying you want to marry me? I never thought-’
‘Of course not,’ he said quickly. ‘That is-I don’t mean to be rude but-’
‘Neither do I, but!’ she broke in quickly. ‘That’s the whole point, isn’t it? But! Two people kiss and it doesn’t mean anything. Let’s keep it that way. I just hope-’
With a convincing air of sudden alarm she dashed to the window to check the curtains.
‘Lucky they were drawn,’ she said. ‘Nobody can have looked in. Just a moment-’
She made a play of opening the front door and looking out on to the staircase.
‘Nobody there,’ she said, returning and locking the door. ‘We’ve got away with it. Our secret is safe.’
She turned out her hands with a bright air, as if saying, You see?
‘Well, thank goodness for that,’ Luke said, rallying and matching her apparent mood. ‘Thanks for warning me.’
Hell would freeze over before he let her suspect how far he felt from laughing.
After that they were both glad to bring the evening to an end. They smiled and assured each other that it was all a good joke, and escaped each other as soon as possible.
Luke sat up for a long time, brooding in the darkness, wondering if his pain-killers were to blame for what was happening. They were strong, and he sometimes felt that they caused his thoughts to go astray. What else could account for the sudden blazing moment of illumination that had come on him with the discovery of Netta’s plan?
He didn’t want to laugh. He wanted to say that Netta was the wisest woman in the world. He wanted to seize Minnie’s hand and jump into the deep end with her at once.
But, as a sensible man, he would resist this craziness, and hope that a night’s sleep would return him to normal.
When Netta learned that she was to have a new boiler the upshot was predictable. Overjoyed, she immediately announced a party.
‘Why not wait until the boiler’s installed?’ Minnie asked.
‘Silly girl, we’ll have another party then,’ Netta chided her.
‘Of course, I should have thought of that.’
‘Yes, you should,’ Luke agreed. ‘Even I could see that coming.’
Netta drew Minnie out on to the staircase, well out of earshot, to ask, ‘How is everything going?’
‘It isn’t,’ Minnie said, adding defiantly, ‘we’re like brother and sister.’
Netta was horrified. ‘He hasn’t-?’
‘No, he hasn’t.’
‘Then you’re not trying hard enough,’ Netta declared, and departed in high dudgeon.
Minnie didn’t immediately return inside. To have told Netta the truth would have been impossible. She was no green girl but a woman who’d experienced years of passionate love. Yet that one kiss had left her thunderstruck. It might have been the first kiss of her life, so disorientated had it make her feel.
Everything about Luke that antagonised her at other times-his power, his dete
rmination and masculine forcefulness-had been transmuted into fierce excitement the moment his lips had touched hers. It was like dealing with two men, one who could drive her to a passion of anger and opposition, and one who could thrill her to the depths, making her yearn to become one with him.
But they weren’t two men. They were one. And the confusion was driving her crazy.
In desperation she’d revealed Netta’s plan so that they could laugh about it together. It had partly worked, but it did nothing to help the feelings that coursed through her at the thought of him, especially at night.
Darkness had fallen. All over the courtyard, lights glowed out of the windows on to the geraniums, illuminating flashes of colour. Looking up, she saw the building winding upward until it seemed to reach a disc of sky where stars wheeled and circled before vanishing into infinity.
How often, after Gianni’s death, had she looked wistfully at that infinity? Now it merely seemed cold and bleak, and she hurried back inside to where Luke was waiting, maddening and impossible, but somehow comforting.
The party was the following evening, and the first hour went as she had expected, with Luke being hailed as everyone’s saviour. He grinned at her.
‘Try not to look as though you’ve swallowed a hedgehog,’ he murmured.
‘Don’t be so unfair. You’ve earned this, and I don’t grudge you a moment of your popularity.’
‘Liar,’ he murmured in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her neck.
But soon after this she began to realise that something was wrong with him. His mouth had grown tense and his forehead was wet. Moving quietly, she slid beside him, firmly dislodging the young female who was flirting with him.
‘Time to go home,’ she murmured.
‘Nonsense, I’m fine.’
‘You’re not fine, you’re in pain. And like a good mother hen I’m going to take you home.’
He nodded and didn’t try to argue any more. Minnie said a word to Netta, then guided him firmly out of the room and down the stairs to home.
‘You know what they’re saying back there now, don’t you?’ he asked with grim humour.
‘After seeing us leave early, you mean?’
