At the Edge

by Norah McClintock

  “It was a mistake to mention that I’d met you. As soon as I did, he started bugging me. He’s like that. He always tries to find out who’s the best and then he goes after that person.”

  “Best person for what?”

  “My dad thinks I need a tutor. He said he was going to call the school to see if they would recommend someone. Then, when I mentioned you, he said you would be perfect.” He hung his head again. “I really want to catch up. I want to graduate and go to college—just maybe not for the reasons my father wants me to go.” When he looked at me there was a fierce expression on his face. “I need to get away. And, for that I need good grades.”

  The determined look on his face convinced me that he meant what he was saying. It also told me there was some kind of friction between James and his father. Maybe it was as simple as a high-achieving parent expecting too much from his son. Or maybe it was something else. Either way, I felt sorry for James. He was so quiet and shy, and he seemed nice enough. Still ...

  “I don’t know, James. To be honest, I’ve never tutored anyone before.”

  “Forget I mentioned it,” he said, his cheeks blazing.

  “I mean, I’d probably be no good at it.”

  “It’s okay. It was my dad’s idea, not mine.”

  “I know there are kids here who tutor. I bet if your dad calls the guidance counselor’s office, they can put him in touch with someone.”

  “Sure. I’ll tell him.”

  “I’m sorry, James, but—”

  “It’s no big deal,” he said. “Forget it.”

  . . .

  I had free period at the end of the day. Instead of going to the library or heading home, I jumped onto the bus and rode across town to the small alternative school that Nick attends. It’s located above a strip of stores on a busy downtown street. I got there just as the students were leaving for the day. At first I was afraid I had missed Nick, but then there he was, coming through the door with a bunch of his friends. I smiled tentatively at him—was he still mad at me? He smiled back, and relief flooded through me. Then I saw a familiar face.

  Danny.

  I froze.

  Nick strode across the sidewalk to me.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” he said. He was still smiling, which I took as a good sign. “I called you yesterday, but you didn’t answer.”

  I glanced at Danny. She had paused along with the rest of Nick’s group. They were all watching us.

  “Come on,” Nick said, taking me by the hand. “We’re going out to get something to eat. I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

  He didn’t give me a chance to say no, not that I would have. He led me back to his friends and introduced me around—as his friend Robyn, not his girlfriend.

  We walked to a restaurant a few doors down from the school. I’m not even sure how it happened, but Danny ended up sitting beside Nick, and I ended up across from her. Another girl—the only other girl in the bunch—was wedged in next to me. Nick introduced her as Jenn, but she didn’t even look at me, let alone talk to me.

  “Where do you go to school, Robyn?” Danny said. She had sparkling pale blue eyes, a heart-shaped face with a clear complexion, and a mass of blonde hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. She was even prettier up close than she had appeared from across the street.

  When I answered her question, a couple of the kids at the table glanced at Nick as if they were wondering how he had hooked up with someone like me. What was the matter? Was my school poison?

  “I have a cousin who got expelled from there,” someone said.

  “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “The principal’s a real tool,” the same person said. “My cousin says the whole place is full of tools.”

  Right. His cousin, who had been expelled, was an excellent judge of the student body at my school. I glanced at Nick. He mumbled something about my dad being his landlord. What was going on? He actually looked embarrassed. After a few moments of silence, a server showed up to take our orders. Then everyone started talking about teachers I didn’t know, people I had never heard of, and stuff they had been involved in. Most of the kids at Nick’s school were like Nick; most had been in some kind of trouble. A lot of them had been kicked out of their original schools. I looked across the table at Nick, but he was laughing at something Danny had said. Finally, mercifully, everyone finished eating and went their separate ways.

  “Can I give you a ride home, Nick?” Danny said.

  “You can give us both a ride,” Nick said. “We’d really appreciate it, right, Robyn?”

  I would have preferred that Danny just get lost, but of course that didn’t happen.

  Nick rode up front. I was stuck in the backseat. Nick and Danny chatted the whole way. At first I was surprised by how much she seemed to know about him. Then I found out that she was more than the boss’s daughter—much more.

  “Remember that time you and Joey decided to build a tree house in the courtyard?” Danny said. “You guys scrounged wood and tools from everyone in the building. Even Mr. Siroka gave you some good stuff.”

  “Who’s Mr. Siroka?” I said.

  “The super at our building,” Danny said.

  Our building?

  “You gotta admit, it was a good-looking tree house,” Nick said.

  “It sure was. And remember how you two had that big argument about who got to go in it first?”

  Nick laughed. “I still can’t figure out if Joey let me go first because he was being nice or because he suspected what was going to happen.”

  “It’s a good thing you guys didn’t build it any higher,” Danny said, laughing again. “Somebody could have got hurt.”

  “It’s a good thing I didn’t get all the way inside before it tipped over.”

  “It’s also a good thing that I was the only person out in the courtyard that morning.”

  “And that you weren’t standing too close,” Nick said.

  Danny laughed. “I still remember the look on your face as you dangled from that branch, looking down at the smashed tree house on the ground below you.”

  “All that work,” Nick said.

  “I wish I’d taken a picture,” Danny said.

  I had never heard Nick laugh so hard. It took a few moments for him to stop.

  “I’m really glad we ran into each other again, Nick,” Danny said, glancing at him. Had she forgotten that I was sitting right behind her?

  “Me, too,” Nick said. He had a warm, soft expression on his face as he looked at her. I was glad when she finally pulled up in front of my dad’s building.

  “See you at school,” she said as Nick climbed out of the car and pushed the front seat forward so that I could get out. Danny ducked down a little so that she could see his face. “I never thought I would be saying that to you again,” she said.

  Nick smiled and waved to her as she drove away.

  “You didn’t tell me that Danny goes to your school,” I said as her car disappeared around the corner. I tried to sound casual, as if it were no big deal.

  “She doesn’t.”

  “But she just said—”

  “She goes to one of those private schools where the kids’ parents are all loaded.”

  “I thought you didn’t like private-school kids.” He had certainly given me a hard time about Ben, who went to the most exclusive boys’ school in the city.

  “I don’t,” Nick said. “But Danny is different. She didn’t start out rich. She’s a real person. And her school does some good things. They have this program where kids volunteer at schools in disadvantaged neighborhoods.”

  “Volunteer to do what?”

  “They show up a couple of times a week and help with homework or assignments or whatever.”

  “She volunteers at your school?”

  “Yeah.”

  “A couple of times a week?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, that’ll be nice for you.”

  �
��Yeah, it will,” Nick said. “Danny is really smart. And we’ve known each other since forever.”

  “So I gather,” I said. “You didn’t mention that either.”

  “I told you she was a friend.”

  “You didn’t say she was such an old friend.”

  “Yeah, well, she is. She used to live in my building. I was really sorry when she moved out.”

  “I bet.”

  Nick gave me a sharp look. “I’m glad I ran into her again.”

  “So I noticed.”

  “What’s the matter with you? You sound like you’re jealous or something.”

  I was jealous. Danny was gorgeous. She knew things about Nick that I didn’t know. She had gotten him a job. Her dad had obviously taken an interest in him. And now she was going to be at his school a couple of times a week. I was insanely jealous. But I wasn’t going to tell Nick that.

  “I am not jealous,” I said.

  “Well, good. Because Danny’s an old friend. I like her, Robyn. We were really close. So I don’t want to have to feel guilty every time I see her.”

  It was so hard to picture Nick being close to anyone. I had known him for a little over a year—and he hadn’t exactly opened up his life to me. I’d had to work hard to get him to trust me. I’d put up with a lot, too. And now here he was, laughing and chatting with another girl—one who had a completely different picture of him than I did. A girl who obviously made him feel safe and comfortable.

  “If you need any help with homework or assignments, I could tutor you,” I said.

  “I don’t need a tutor.”

  “But you just said that Danny and the kids from her school are at your school to help you.”

  “I said they were there to help anyone who needs help. I didn’t say she was helping me. God, Robyn, for someone who isn’t jealous, you’re sure acting jealous.” He glanced at his watch. “I gotta go. I want to walk Orion before work.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “But—”

  “I need some down time, Robyn, some quiet time so I can think.” He kissed me lightly on the cheek. “Okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, even though that wasn’t what I meant. What did he have to think about? And why couldn’t he think with me around?

  . . .

  “Maybe Nick is telling the truth,” Morgan said when I called to tell her what had happened. “Maybe they’re just friends.”

  Maybe? I didn’t like the sound of that. I was sitting in the window in my dad’s living room, watching for Nick to come back from his walk with Orion.

  “Well,” Morgan said, hesitating—which was not a good sign. Morgan never hesitates unless she’s trying to spare someone’s feelings, which she rarely does.

  “Well, what?” I prodded.

  “He said he ran into her by accident, right?”

  “You were there when he told me,” I said testily. He’d mentioned it one weekend when he came up to Morgan’s summerhouse.

  “He never said Danny was a girl. In fact, as I recall, he didn’t say much about her at all. He mostly talked about the job.”

  “So?” I said, even though I had been thinking the same thing.

  “So, he runs into Danny, she arranges for Daddy to give him a job—at the same place where she’s working. Then, as soon as summer’s over, she volunteers for a program that means she’ll be at his school a couple of times a week. And she invites him over for a barbecue. You can’t help thinking—even if he sees her as just a friend, she seems to be making more than a friendly effort to be part of his life.”

  “I hope you’re not trying to cheer me up, Morgan.”

  “You asked me what I thought, and I’m telling you. I’m being honest, Robyn.”

  One thing I’ve noticed: when people tell you they’re being honest, it almost always hurts.

  “What do you think I should do?” I said.

  Morgan hesitated again.

  “Well,” she said, “he didn’t tell you anything about her until you saw the two of them together. When you offered to help him with his homework, he turned you down. And you never see him anymore—you said so yourself, Robyn. Maybe he’s trying to tell you something.”

  “Great. Thanks!”

  “I’m just being—”

  “Honest, I know. Honesty isn’t always the best policy, Morgan.”

  “Would you rather I lied to you? What kind of friend would I be if I did that? Look, Robyn, if you want my opinion”—I wasn’t sure I did—“maybe you should just back off for a while. Give Nick some space. Let him figure out what he wants.”

  “If Billy was spending more time with a gorgeous blonde than he was with you, is that what you’d do?”

  “The great thing about Billy is that most of the people he hangs out with are total nerds,” she said. “I really don’t have to worry about other girls.”

  “What if you did have to worry? What if there was another girl?”

  “I’d probably scratch her eyes out. At least, that’s what I’d want to do.” I didn’t doubt that for a moment. “Why don’t you show Nick how you feel?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t like that he’s spending so much of his spare time with this Danny person, right? How would he like it if you were spending time with another guy?”

  “But I’m not.”

  “You could, though. James asked you to tutor him, right?”

  “You know about that?”

  “He mentioned it to Billy. He wanted to know what you’d say if he asked you.”

  “What did Billy tell him?”

  “That you’d probably say yes. You did say yes, didn’t you?”

  “No.”

  “No, you didn’t say yes?”

  “Yes, I mean I said no.”

  “Well, say yes! Tell James you’ll tutor him, and then let Nick know you’re doing it.”

  “What good will that do?”

  “For one thing, it will tell you if Nick still cares about you.”

  “If?” I was beginning to hate that word.

  “That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it? If he gets mad or tells you that he doesn’t want you to tutor James, you’ll know that he still cares. Then you can relax.”

  “And if he doesn’t get mad? If he doesn’t care?”

  “James seems really nice, Robyn. Billy likes him a lot. If you tutor him, you’ll get to know him better. If things don’t work out with Nick, you’ll have a fallback position. It’s a lot easier to get over a breakup if you’re seeing someone else—especially someone as cute as James.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. Part of me agreed with Morgan—maybe I should give Nick a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes it. But mostly I was afraid that Nick wouldn’t care.

  “Well, do you have a better idea?” Morgan said.

  I sat in the window for a long time after I had spoken to Morgan. Nick must have taken Orion in the back way, because the next time I saw him he was coming out the front door. If I hurried, maybe I could catch up to him. I jumped up—too late. Nick broke into a run as a bus rounded the corner. He made it to the bus door just in time and disappeared from sight.

  J

  ames was already at his locker when I got to school the next morning. I marched up to him and said, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  He stared blankly at me.

  “You want a tutor,” I said. “You’ve got one.”

  “You mean it?” He sounded surprised. And pleased.

  “We can start this afternoon if you want.”

  James smiled cautiously at me. “I really appreciate this,” he said. “When I told my dad it didn’t look like you were going to do it, he wanted to call you and ask you himself.”

  “Really?” I was a little taken aback. “I’m sure he would have had no problem finding someone else.”

  “You don’t know my dad. I wasn’t kidding about him. When he saw your name at the top of th
e honor roll, he decided you were the best. And my dad always goes after the best.”

  “You’re making me nervous,” I said. “I seriously have never tutored anyone before, James. I might turn out to be terrible.”

  He laughed. “The only way you could turn out to be terrible is if you know less about math and science than I do—and that doesn’t seem likely. I’m glad you said yes, Robyn. I just hope you don’t quit when you find out how dumb I am.”

  “There’s a big difference between not knowing something and being dumb,” I said. “I just hope I don’t disappoint you.”

  He beamed at me. “There’s no way you could do that.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Morgan. She had come down the hall and was standing a few lockers away, behind James. She was grinning like a lottery winner. I was surprised she wasn’t also doing a happy dance.

  . . .

  James and I met after school, as we had arranged, and headed to the public library, where we sat together while he worked on his math homework. I could see why his dad was so eager to find him a tutor. James and I were in different math classes, but we had the same teacher, so I knew exactly what work he was supposed to do. I also knew that the work had been explained in detail during class. Even so, James struggled with his assignment. But he listened attentively to what I said and watched carefully while I worked on some examples for him. By the end of the hour he was making his way through the last of the exercises he had been assigned.

  “You must think I’m a real moron,” he said as he packed up his things.

  “No, I don’t,” I said. “You did fine.”

  “Tell that to my dad.” He slid the textbook and his binder into his backpack and zipped the pocket. “He says I’m the most absentminded person he knows. When I was younger and he’d send me on an errand, he used to make me repeat five times what I was supposed to do so that I wouldn’t forget. He still makes me repeat stuff. He says it’s the best way to remember.”

  “Bread, milk, and, most important, the decaf,” I said.

  His cheeks turned red.

  I grinned at him. “You can tell your dad you did great. You probably just have to catch up. You said you missed a lot of school.”