by Anna Paige
“I’m just tired. The sun really zapped my energy—not that I’d started the day with any to begin with,” she chuckled. “I will say, that was the best nap ever, even if it had to be cut short.”
“Agreed. If we hadn’t had that pesky TV show to shoot, I’d still be snoozing.”
She hid a yawn behind her closed fist, nodding. “Me too.” It was quiet again for a moment before she jokingly said, “So, should I expect snakes in my trailer or poison in my coffee now that I pissed off her majesty?”
“I’d keep my guard up, but that’s just good practice anyway around people like Skylar.” I chuckled along with her, loving that she wasn’t taking it all too seriously. She didn’t seem to let things get to her, at least not anything that was happening now. I knew she had some things in her past that she was battling, could see her steeling herself against it when she didn’t think anyone was looking. But if that stuff wasn’t getting to her, neither was Sky.
Kaiti had done her scenes—even the ones with Sky’s simmering temper barely hidden behind her Tia facade—without blinking an eye, and she’d remained front and center between takes, rather than stepping away and giving Skylar the impression that she was afraid, which she damn well wasn’t. She never backed down or averted her gaze, never gave an inch, though she wasn’t overtly hostile either. Just confident—like she’d been when she’d lit into Bryce in that mall.
I was proud of Kaiti on so many levels today. I only wished I could have found the words to tell her that without sounding condescending.
In the end, I decided showing her was much easier.
So, I did.
I took her back to her apartment and carried her to her bed, where I proceeded to hold her as close as I possibly could as we both drifted off into a deep, exhausted, contented sleep together.
We were home.
Kaiti
The week flew by in a blur of sand and sunscreen, leaving me exhausted and only mildly sunburned. The scenes in the water with Gavin, ones where Meadow started to realize her attraction to Tyler, were the most fun. As it turned out, practicing those scenes with him was quite the turn on. Something about the build of tension between the characters, the inadvertent brushing against each other in the water that turned into a near-kiss, was the hottest freaking thing ever.
Of course, once it was time to actually shoot the scene in front of the cameras, everything was different. There was no way my arousal would carry over into that situation, not with the past looming over my shoulder, getting harder to ignore as this week’s episode pushed the limitations of my bravado.
I was uncomfortable in a swimsuit with a camera pointed at me. Not that I had a problem with my body, I was quite fond of my curves. This was just the scenario that had spurred me out of that mall when Bryce offered the job. This episode, these moments where I felt exposed and gawked at and judged. The only thing worse in my mind would have been nearly-nude love scenes, which were still a distinct possibility—or probability since it was clear Meadow and Tyler were going to hook up.
By the time Friday rolled around, I was the most exhausted I’d ever been, both physically and mentally. My thoughts were like watching twenty people doing wind sprints in varying directions, almost leaving me dizzy. Anxiety was to blame for that, but I refused to give in—to lose to it now when I’d come so far.
Gavin walked up, trudging through the sand like he was barely staying upright himself. “Hey, new girl, want to grab some lunch?” He threw an arm around my shoulders.
“Sure. Let me just hit the shower and rinse this sand off my legs. Meet you in the food tent in five?”
He nodded and watched me walk away.
I headed toward one of the rinsing showers near the edge of our sprawling tent community. Feeling his eyes on me was vastly different than being watched by anyone else.
I turned back when I was halfway to the shower and he was still staring. “Move along, creeper, nothing to see here,” I called, teasing.
“I beg to differ!” he shouted back, waggling his brows as he finally started in the direction of the catering tent.
After a quick rinse, I took the long way around to join Gavin, staying on the packed sand between the tents to avoid getting gritty all over again. When I stepped inside, Gavin’s back was to me as he perused the fresh fruit on one of the long buffet tables.
“He’s probably thinking of making your plate himself, steering you toward the salad you so desperately need instead of the junk food you’re always stuffing in your face.” Skylar stood off to my left and slightly behind me, her voice low and hostile.
I turned toward her and noted the celery and cucumber slices on her plate, no dressing or dip, no protein—just a few thin strips of vegetables. I gave her a saucy wink. “Oh, he can feed me whatever he wants. He’s never offered me anything I wouldn’t gladly open wide and take.” I gave her a huge smile as I walked away. “Enjoy your lunch, Sky.”
Gavin and I took our seats at a small folding table near the back of the tent, and I could feel Skylar’s eyes boring into me as I snagged the southwest chicken burrito from my plate. I slowly bit into it with a little groan while I shot a look her way.
“Um, babe…” Gavin cleared his throat beside me, looking down at the table as he cocked his head my way and spoke in a strained voice. “I don’t know what that was about, but if you keep making those noises, I’m going to need a little help with something back in my trailer.”
Two birds, one burrito.
We were about to head back for the afternoon shoot when my phone dinged in my pocket. I’d forgotten to turn it off but since no one usually called me during the day, it shouldn’t have made a difference.
I pulled it out and frowned at the screen.
Evie: 911—call me asap!
Evie was freaking out and it made my heart race. She was like me, not one to panic, so it had to be something big.
I turned the phone and showed Gavin the 911. I was already heading toward his trailer for privacy.
He nodded, gesturing toward the makeup tent. “I’ll stall the next scene if I have to. Go see what’s wrong.”
I nodded and quickly closed in on his private sanctuary as I hit Evie’s contact name.
She picked up on the first ring. “Kaiti? Where are you? Can you talk?”
“I’m alone. I commandeered Gavin’s trailer. What’s going on?”
She took a deep, uneven breath sounding on the verge of full-on panic.
“Evie?”
“The video. Someone found it and linked it to your name in the message boards and now it’s blowing the hell up.”
My legs turned to jelly and I dropped to the small couch that faced the door. “What?”
“I’m so sorry, Kaiti-bear. I don’t know how anyone would have known. The names of the girls in the videos were supposed to be sealed by the court, right? Because most of you were minors?”
I heard her asking questions but I couldn’t find the strength to answer.
“Kaiti, say something. Talk to me. Are you okay? Do you want me to come there? I’ll crash the set if I have to.”
I still couldn’t speak. I wasn’t sure I was breathing or if I even wanted to.
This had to be a dream—a horribly vivid nightmare playing out to mess with me because I’d been doing so well. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.
Only it was.
“Fuck it, I’m on my way. Don’t hang up. I’ll talk to you the whole time.”
I shook my head, trying to argue but the words wouldn’t come, so I didn’t object.
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…
Gavin
“All right, where’s our Meadow? We need to get this shot before the sunlight starts to wane.” Bryce looked around, asking me but not actually looking at me. We hadn’t spoken much, mostly because it had been so hectic, but my attitude let him know I still had a lot to say about what he’d done.
I should have lit him up first thing on Monday, but I hadn’t.
I could blame it on the crazy shooting schedule or the lack of sleep but the truth was, I knew I’d have to tell Kaiti about it either way, and I was afraid knowing what Bryce was up to would send her packing. She wouldn’t give a shit about her short-term contract or the rest of the episodes she was committed to shooting. She would be too pissed off to care, or at least that was what I thought.
I had to figure out how to diffuse it before I told her, to find a way to explain it so she wouldn’t feel violated as hell. Of course, that’s exactly what she should feel—hell I felt that way myself when I found out Bryce had a folder full of ammo to use against me. And I’d been working in the industry for years. I’d seen some shady shit in my day but Bryce’s little insurance policies took the cake.
The bastard finally shot a look my way and tipped his head toward my trailer. “Will you please go light a fire under her?”
I glared back at him. “I think she’s sick. Would you rather she dealt with that in private or should I have her plop down in your director’s chair and hurl on your sandals?”
“She didn’t seem sick at lunch.” He looked annoyed at my tone but didn’t dare retaliate.
Smart. Because I was way past giving a damn about saving his ass.
“Maybe it was all that crap food she stuffed in her face,” Skylar chimed in, sidling up to Bryce with a smirk.
“Go choke on a celery stick, hag,” I growled, turning toward my trailer. “I’ll check on her. Why don’t you do us all a favor, Bryce, and send Sky back to makeup? She’s got a big smudge of jealous on her face.”
“Prick!” she yelled at my back.
I kept walking, smile firmly in place.
Fifteen
Gavin
My smile lasted until I found Kaiti sitting rigidly on my couch, a vacant look in her eyes and her phone clutched tight against her ear. She wasn’t talking, wasn’t moving, and didn’t seem to realize I was even there.
Her free hand was doing the tapping thing, but it was all wrong, like she couldn’t manage to get her fingers to work right, either missing her thumb entirely or tapping her palm.
Panic instantly set in and I rushed over to her. “Kaiti, what’s wrong?” I put one hand on her knee, squeezing.
She didn’t react.
“Baby, say something. Is Evie okay?”
I could hear a voice on the phone in her hand, presumably Evie’s. I reached for it and she let me take it, her eyes fixed on a spot on the wall.
“Evie? What the hell? Why isn’t she talking?”
“She’s okay. I just need to get there and I’ll get her straight. I’m only ten minutes out. Tell the guard to let me in or I’ll drive down the damn beach in my piece of shit car, and I’m not kidding.”
I went to the door, opened it, and called out to Joey, who was thankfully close by. “Hey, Evie is on her way in. Can you make sure they don’t give her a hard time?”
He gave me a look that said he was curious but didn’t comment. “I’ll wait for her at the gate and bring her to you.”
“Thanks, Joe.”
I locked the door and retook my spot at Kaiti’s side. Talking to Evie, I said, “Look for Joey. He’ll get you in. Now, tell me what the hell is going on.”
She hesitated. “Gavin…I don’t know if I should be the one…”
“She’s so upset she’s shaking, Evie.” I ran a hand over Kaiti’s trembling arm. “Not crying, not talking, barely breathing, but she’s shaking like a goddamn leaf. And her finger exercises…she can’t even get her hands to work to do them. Tell me what the fuck happened so I can help her.”
“You can’t help. No one can. She’s dealing with it—it’ll take her a minute to get her shit together, that’s all. You know about her anxiety, right?”
“Yes. But she’s handling it. She handles it so well I almost forget she has it, to be honest.”
Evie blew out a breath. “Well, this is different. This is the reason for her anxiety and it just blew up in her face.”
“What did? God, just tell me.” I was pleading when what I wanted to do was scream. The huge knot in my stomach told me I already knew what it was, but I was still hoping to be wrong.
Please let me be wrong.
“Go to the Savages message boards. It’s all there. I can’t tell you outright, but you’ll know soon enough.” I heard her blinker clicking. “I’m almost there.”
“Okay,” I told her even as she hung up.
Not letting go of Kaiti’s hand, I opened the web browser on her phone and navigated to the site.
I didn’t have to scroll too far to find what she was talking about.
Motherfucking son of a bitch!
My instinct had been right.
They were going to break her.
And just like I’d predicted…
It was my fucking fault.
Kaiti
I sat there wondering how I could have been so naive. How could I have gone into this thinking they wouldn’t find the video? Why had it not occurred to me that disgusting perverts watched Savages just like millions of regular people?
It had occurred to me, but I’d pushed it off as my anxiety playing tricks making me paranoid. I’d pushed it off because I wanted so badly to do this, to play Meadow, to be with Gavin. I’d ignored the feeling of dread in my stomach and this is what happened.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I’d been so naive to think no one would know. Somehow over the years, I’d formed this idea of what had happened to the footage, like it was buried so deep in the darkest corners of the web that only reclusive pedophiles even knew how to find it.
“Here baby, I got you some water,” Gavin said beside me, pushing a small glass of ice water into my hand.
I held it but didn’t lift it to my lips. I could feel the cold from where it rested against my leg and it made me shudder. Or maybe it had nothing to do with the glass. Maybe it was me.
I’d heard Gavin tell Evie I was shaking, and I guess I was, but it didn’t matter. Nothing did. I didn’t feel it—not really—not even the cold glass against my leg. It was all drowned out by the noise in my head.
They’re all going to watch it now, all of them. They won’t care that it’s a crime or how disgusting it is. That won’t matter. Because needing to know is more important than protecting a victim.
“Evie will be here in a minute. It’s okay if you’d rather talk to her right now, I understand. But, Kaiti,” his voice broke a little and it found its way through the noise, making my chin quiver, “I love you more than I can even say, and I want to help, when you’re ready to let me.”
I turned to look at him then, the first real movement since I’d heard the news. The tension in my shoulders caused my neck to pop and I winced but still couldn’t say anything.
Gavin didn’t care, though. He scooted closer to my side, threw an arm around me, and squeezed my body closer to his. “We’ll just sit right here and wait for Evie. When she gets here, I’ll go smooth things over with Bryce and give you two some alone time.”
I managed a weak nod against his neck and he sighed like any form of communication—even a simple nod—lifted the weight of the world from his shoulders.
We sat there silently for a few more minutes until a knock at the door startled us both. Gavin reluctantly stood and unlocked the door, swinging it wide and revealing Evie—who immediately pushed past him—and Joey, who only gave a quick look in my direction before turning to Gavin. “Can I do anything else to help?”
He didn’t know what was going on and didn’t ask—he only wanted to help.
Gavin shook his head, looking back at me as Evie took the seat he’d vacated. “No, I’m headed to talk to Bryce now. Kaiti won’t be shooting anything else today.”
Joey nodded and shot me a small, encouraging smile as Gavin stepped out of the trailer. Before he shut the door, Gavin turned and told me, “I’ll take care of everything, so don’t worry about work. Not today. One of you text me when it’s okay to come
back. And Kaiti?”
I raised a brow, steeling myself for whatever he might say.
“I’m…” He glanced at Evie, “We’re going to get you through this. I love you and I will protect you, no matter what.”
As the door clicked shut behind him, the first tears fell…and they were far from the last.
An hour later, after a lot of talking on Evie’s part and a lot of angry tears on mine, I was mostly past the initial shock. I was still mortified beyond words and I didn’t think I could go on pretending to be Meadow, not when so many people would be watching for the wrong reasons.
But now that the cat was out of the proverbial bag, could I really expect to go back to my regular life unscathed?
I was hurt and embarrassed and angrier than I had ever been in my life.
And that was before Evie stopped, looking at me wide-eyed as she asked, “What if someone on the show outed the video? Do you think that’s possible?”
I shook my head once, then froze. Was it possible?
Shit.
Being the naive idiot I was, that hadn’t even occurred to me.
But what if she was right? What if Skylar or Michael had gone digging for dirt? They both had plenty of reason to be angry. Gavin had punched Michael out over me, and Skylar was so jealous they needed color correcting makeup to hide the green tinge to her skin.
Would they really stoop so low as to drag up something this awful and parade it around for all to see?
“I guess I do have some enemies here, don’t I?” I asked, anger seeping in.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t take an enemy to start a scandal like this. Like they say, there’s no such thing as bad press.”
I frowned, meeting her eyes. “So, you think it could have been done to intentionally draw attention to me and therefore the show?”
