And if the show became popular, what next for Rory? Would girls be sending him private messages and would he be tempted to answer? Would she just become part of his distant past? Maybe she was running ahead of herself; maybe this was a little bit of fun for him. But she couldn’t help feeling anxious. She liked the fact that they’d always been a team and discussed everything together. But she was sorry that Rory had overheard her outburst and she knew he wasn’t going to be at all happy.
Allie pressed her lips tightly together as she pushed open the gate and rapped lightly on Rory’s front door. She didn’t wait for him to answer but turned the handle and did what she always did, let herself in, trying to keep everything as normal as possible. Rory was sitting on the floor in the living room surrounded by cardboard boxes. He was carefully wrapping the framed photos from the sideboard in tissue and stacking them in a box.
‘Oh, it’s you.’ He barely looked up and carried on what he was doing.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly, though she knew it was going to take more than an apology to put this right.
Rory didn’t look up.
‘You okay?’ She perched on the arm of the chair.
‘Fine.’
There was that word, ‘fine’. People only used the word ‘fine’ when they were not fine. Allie could see Rory was far from fine. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with her.
She acknowledged to herself that it was stupid to think she was going to walk in here, apologise and they’d skip off to the pub for Sunday lunch. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you,’ she said, touching his arm, but Rory carried on what he was doing,
‘Will you stop what you are doing? We need to talk about this.’ Allie’s tone was firm.
Immediately Rory stopped what he was doing then carried on again.
‘Rory! Now who’s being ridiculous? Honestly, it’s like dealing with a child sometimes,’ she said, frustrated.
Rory turned towards her and frowned hard, ‘How do you expect me to act?’ His voice was unusually sharp. ‘How do you think I felt sitting there, surrounded by our friends, as you said those things? Can you imagine what Zach thought? It was embarrassing, Allie!’
‘And I am sorry, but put yourself in my shoes for just a minute, Rory. You announced your new TV show without even mentioning it to me! Everything seems to be changing. I feel like I’m losing you.’ Allie took a deep sigh before continuing. ‘At Clover Cottage, you actually made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. That being a barmaid wasn’t a fulfilling enough job. But isn’t that my choice? And then you tell me that setting up home together is all too much for you, all too soon. How do you expect me to feel? You storm off and before I know it you’ve made a new life for yourself, TV shows, book deals or whatever, and all these plans don’t appear to include me.’ Allie’s voice wobbled, and she knew she was on the verge of tears.
Rory raked his hand through his hair and finally stopped what he was doing. He sat on the edge of the coffee table and faced her.
Allie took a moment and swallowed. ‘What if you do end up being the next Zach Hudson?’ The second the words left Allie’s mouth she knew they sounded lame.
‘And what if I do? Why exactly would that be a problem? For one thing, what opportunities would that provide for both of us? Not to mention the financial security.’
Taking a step back and processing her thoughts, Allie realised that Rory’s words actually sounded quite rational. What if he did become successful? What was wrong with that? Why wouldn’t she be happy for him?
‘There’s more to life than just work, Allie. And getting married and having babies will come for us.’ Rory’s words cut through the air. ‘But why can’t we live a little first? Enjoy being us? There’s plenty of time for us to do everything else.’
Allie looked at him. Hearing Rory talk like this was a shock to the system but she was beginning to really listen to what he was saying.
Maybe he did actually have a point. Was she hellbent on setting up home and having a family because that was what was expected of her and her duty to her parents, or was it because of her own insecurities? Allie knew since they’d found their home in Heartcross she’d felt settled and compelled to do anything she could to make her parents stay. She’d always carried the fear that her parents might up sticks again one day and they’d be back on the road, looking for a new place to call home. Was her desire to create her own family just a way to force her parents to finally put down roots?
They stared at each other.
‘But I thought you wanted the happy-ever-after? They were your words, Rory,’ said Allie, trying to clarify what Rory was wanting and thinking.
‘And I meant it. I still mean it.’
‘But …’
Rory stood up. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’
The last thing Allie wanted was a cup of tea. All she wanted was Rory to be honest with her, but her gut feeling was telling her that there was more going on here.
Whilst she waited for him to reappear, she grabbed a handful of tissue paper and began wrapping the next ornament that was on the floor before placing it carefully into the cardboard box.
Rory returned with two mugs in his hands. Allie spoke up the second he walked into the room. ‘And why move in with Drew and Isla? I just don’t get it.’
Rory exhaled. ‘Okay, that wasn’t planned. After leaving the cottage Drew and Zach spotted me walking along the lane. They were off to collect Sydney so I went with them. That’s when Zach told me all about the TV show. I literally found out about half an hour before you did and of course I was going to come and find you when I got back. Then they asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day, and I said I was packing up the house, and that’s when Drew kindly offered me the spare room or one of the vans. That was it, there was nothing sinister about it.’
‘But you didn’t say no,’ said Allie sulkily.
‘I know you want me to move into the pub, Allie, but realistically that isn’t going to work for me, is it? The pub gets so busy and noisy and sometimes you don’t get to bed until the early hours. I can’t go operating on animals when I’m exhausted. That’s when mistakes happen. When I clock off I just want to chill.’ Rory’s tone was sincere and he softened for a moment.
Allie acknowledged what he was saying. ‘But you can’t stay at Isla and Drew’s for ever. You need a permanent place to stay. That’s where Clover Cottage would be perfect.’
Rory was quiet.
‘What aren’t you telling me, Rory?’ Allie had known him a long time and she knew he was holding something back. ‘Just be honest with me. Surely I deserve that at least.’
‘You’re right,’ he finally admitted, taking a deep breath. ‘There is something else.’
He reached for his laptop and balanced it on his knee as he sat on the sofa. ‘Come and sit here.’ He nodded to the space next to him, his tone guarded.
Allie knew there had been something bothering him, but now she felt her heart beginning to race as she waited for him to explain.
After he finished typing on the keyboard he spun the laptop towards her and Allie cast a glance over the screen.
Africa.
There staring back at her was a website with bold headlines, ‘We want a future where animals thrive in the wild … join the movement to stop lion farming and hunting.’
‘I don’t understand. Why are you showing me this?’ Then the penny dropped, and the tingling in her chest and stomach signalled dread. This could only mean one thing. Rory was going to Africa.
‘You are leaving me, aren’t you?’ she said, her heart sinking to a new level.
She realised this was the real reason Rory was suddenly unsettled and explained why he was so reluctant to commit to Clover Cottage.
‘I’ve supported this cause since university. It’s a massive part of who I am, part of the reason I wanted to become a vet. I want to help and make a difference.’ Rory was speaking so fast he was tripping over his words. Allie could hear the en
thusiasm in his voice as he outlined his dream.
‘Last time, it was my parents who kiboshed my plans. They put pressure on me to become a partner in the business straight after uni and I didn’t want to let them down. They’d financed my university place, they’d supported everything I did, and it was my dad’s dream for me to become a partner. I put them first, Allie – but I’m passionate about this stuff. I want to do this.’
There was a long pause.
‘And you think I’m going to stop you?’
Rory swallowed, placed the laptop on the table and turned towards Allie. ‘I know you aren’t going to be happy about it.’
Allie was on the verge of tears and Rory took her hands in his. Taking a deep breath he explained about Zach’s trip to Africa and the work he was going to do out there. ‘How lucky am I?’
‘Lucky,’ Allie repeated solemnly.
‘It took me by surprise when he spoke about his next trip, the excitement that stirred in me when he suggested I could tag along in a professional capacity. Allie, he’s just confirmed I’ll get paid to work alongside him presenting the documentary and I’ll get paid for my expertise whilst I’m out there … It’s a win–win situation.’
‘And what about the surgery?’
‘I’m sure Molly and her team will be able to cover for me but I need to talk to Dad first.’
‘It looks like you have it all planned out.’
Rory stayed calm. ‘The next twelve months will fly by.’
‘Twelve months? You are going for twelve months?’ Allie’s eyes narrowed in confusion. She gave him a sideways glance while keeping her head still. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Feeling a quiver in her stomach she stood up and turned slowly towards the door. She needed to leave, needed time to think, time to get her head around it all.
‘Where are you going?’ Rory asked with unease. ‘Don’t go – stay. We need to talk about this.’
Allie held up her hands up in a defensive gesture. ‘I just need some fresh air,’ she replied, walking towards the living-room door.
As soon as the front door shut behind her Allie took a deep breath. This wasn’t what she had been expecting when she woke up this morning. She’d had it all planned out and now she had no clue what the future held. Just like when she was a little girl, feelings of uncertainty rushed to the surface and she didn’t like it. As a child, time after time she had left a town, her home, her friends, forced to start again from scratch some place new. But this time she was losing Rory; a year away from him seemed like a lifetime. She felt helpless.
Taking a moment to calm her thumping heart, Allie began walking down Love Heart Lane. She made no attempt to wipe the tears off her cheeks. This was a wakeup call for her. She’d thought everything in her life was hunky-dory and running smoothly. She’d always relied on Rory, trusted him, and now she felt as though her picture-perfect life was crumbling all around her and she couldn’t stop any of it.
Five minutes later she found herself back outside Clover Cottage. She had to admit the ramshackle old place had been eye-opening this morning. Now, looking at some of the decaying brickwork, she wasn’t even sure if the place was watertight.
Pushing open the back door, she stepped inside again. The kitchen looked like it had never been cleaned in its lifetime. It was difficult to be sure which were damp patches, the walls were generally so grubby, or what colour the worktops were under the layers of grime. She stared at the open fireplace, the large oak beam above littered with ornaments and a burnt-out candle, probably once a focal point of the room. The kitchen was quirky and had character and Allie visualised herself baking cakes or tending to the family meal. Even though this place was run down it had a good feeling about it.
Of course, she knew her wage at the pub didn’t set the world on fire, and they would struggle to invest heavily in this place, but wasn’t that half the fun? Weekends and spare time working together on the project, ripping off the wallpaper and sanding down floors.
Allie rubbed the dirt from the window to look out over the spectacular scenery and heaved a huge sigh. What the hell was happening? What direction was her life going in? After rolling up her sleeves and turning on the leaky tap she watched the cold water slosh into the bowl in the sink, drowning a cloth that had seen better days. Fighting the musty smell she leant forward and struggled to open the window. Eventually it unjammed and she breathed in the fresh air. Taking a moment she squeezed out the excess water from the cloth then wiped it across the window pane, dirty water dripping on to the sill. All she could think about was Rory.
After the initial shock of his wanting to leave for Africa for twelve months she’d managed to calm herself down. She knew things were on the up for Rory so why wasn’t she feeling happy that he wanted to follow his dreams? Because selfishly she knew she would miss him. She loved him and never in a million years had she contemplated this scenario. Maybe she had been taking life and him for granted; maybe she had just been merrily plodding along, taking the steps that were expected of her. She thought about Rory’s words regarding what she wanted from life – was working at the pub her burning ambition or was it just an easy route she’d taken? As she scrubbed the windows clean, she began to think more about her own aspirations. What did she want in life? Undoubtedly she wanted to be a mother and have a family, but was there more for her to achieve before she settled for that? Deep down Allie knew that although she’d defended her position as a barmaid, if she was free to follow her heart without the guilt of letting her parents down, she would never have chosen a career working in the pub. Maybe Rory had a point, and her dreams had been stifled to help out her parents?
Allie thought about her parents’ marriage. In the early days her mum hadn’t had a career of her own either, and had worked dead-end jobs for pin money. As a family, they had relied heavily on her dad’s employment, meaning they moved around a lot so he could find a job with a decent wage. Maybe Allie had become too reliant on her simple life in Heartcross? She didn’t want to have to rely on Rory, simply as his wife – that was a position she never wanted to find herself in. Deep down she knew Rory’s parents had railroaded him into taking the partnership at the time, but he’d never mentioned anything about Africa since.
As the window gleamed in front of her, Allie knew she needed to face facts. She’d been wearing rose-tinted glasses and now real life had smacked her right between the eyes. Rory had dreams and maybe his plan didn’t fit with her ideal, but she loved Rory with all her heart and was determined not to stand in his way, even if that meant letting him go.
Losing count of the number of dirty bowls of water she’d swilled down the sink, she filled it up once more. She checked the cupboards and discovered some washing-up liquid and a half-empty bottle of disinfectant. Pouring both into the bowl she began to clean down the worktop. She was amazed to discover that it was a pale oak colour, not the dark brown it seemed at first glance.
She was still deep in thought when a bang made her jump and her pulse race.
‘Hello, who’s there?’ she called out, bolder than she felt.
‘It’s only me.’
Bringing a hand up to her beating heart, Allie smiled at Felicity as she walked through the door. ‘You frightened the life out of me. What are you doing here?’
‘A little birdy told me you might be in need of a friend,’ she said warmly, holding up a flask of tea and a paper bag of delicious pastries.
‘That little birdy may just be right,’ said Allie thankfully, squeezing out a wobbly smile.
Chapter 9
Allie peeped inside the paper bag then watched as Felicity’s eyes scanned the cottage.
‘This place looks condemned but my God, it’s got potential,’ said Felicity, looking out through the now gleaming kitchen window at the rolling hills beyond. ‘Amazing view. Imagine waking up to that every morning,’ she exclaimed.
‘Well, that was my plan.’
‘Until Babymonitorgate … Only y
ou!’ chuckled Felicity.
Allie knew Felicity would already know about what had happened that morning – not because Isla was a gossip, far from it, but because all of their friendships were tight, and they looked after each other.
‘It’s not funny!’ said Allie, with a stern face.
‘It’s fairly funny,’ replied Felicity, still laughing.
Allie’s face broke into a smile as she rolled her eyes. ‘Those monitors are lethal. I could have said anything.’
‘You did from what I’ve heard!’
‘Fair point … It could only happen to me,’ she sighed, mortified everyone had heard her ramblings. ‘How long have you got now?’
‘About an hour,’ replied Felicity glancing at her watch. Allie nodded. ‘Mum is having Sunday lunch at the pub with Bill. They seem to be getting on very well and Polly is out with Alfie and moving out too.’
‘Moving out – really? Is she going back to London?’
Felicity shook her head. ‘No, not back to London. I think we’ve converted her into a country bumpkin. Alfie’s managed to get her a job at the council, and she’s moving in with him. I’ll miss her around the house. We’ve all got used to her being here. It’s funny how she only came for a holiday and never went back, but meeting Alfie rocked her little world. I’m so happy for her.’
‘Me too … but see, even Polly has moved in with Alfie, why can’t that be me?’
‘Because you don’t fancy Alfie?’
‘You know what I mean!’ replied Allie shaking her head slightly with a slight smile. ‘Do you want to have a look around?’
‘Of course, I do! I’ve always wondered what this place was like inside. It’s definitely in need of some TLC.’
As they walked from room to room Allie divulged the further developments after the aftermath of Babymonitorgate.
Felicity stopped in her tracks at the bottom of the old rickety staircase. ‘TV shows, trips to Africa … How amazing is that? And all because Zach Hudson rocked up in our small village. It just shows you never know what’s around the corner. I bet you are so proud,’ she enthused, putting her foot on the bottom stair. ‘Is this staircase actually safe?’ she asked nervously, looking up to the landing then back at Allie. Then she narrowed her eyes. ‘I know that look. You don’t think it’s amazing, do you?’
Clover Cottage: A feel good cosy read perfect for your summer holiday reading (Love Heart Lane Series, Book 3) Page 11
