All in a day’s work.
She set her unorganized box of work things on the floor by the kitchen door, kicked off her shoes and fell on her couch.
What had she done?
She wasn’t impulsive. She made lists of her lists before she made any decisions. Now look at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she choked on her sobs. She promised herself she’d buck up and get over it soon, but, right now, she needed a good cry.
Only ten minutes passed, and a knock at her door brought her out of her misery. Who could that be?
She shuffled over in her stocking feet, trying to wipe the tears from her face, and opened the door.
She bit back a sob.
Shade.
“Lily? What’s wrong? Have you been crying?” He walked in and pulled her into his arms.
She stiffened and backed away.
“Lily?”
“Why are you here, Shade?”
He blinked and frowned. “I stopped by your work to pick you up for lunch, but Glenn said you had quit.”
She nodded then walked away from him. She couldn’t look at those blue eyes anymore.
“What’s wrong, sprite?”
“Don’t call me that,” she spat.
“Lily?”
She went to her coat, pulled out the vial, and threw it at him. “Got something to tell me, Shade?”
He realized she found out the truth about his assignment, and looked at it, shamefaced.
If possible, her heart broke even more.
He knew.
“Lily, I can explain.”
“Oh, save it. Just get out. I can’t even look at you.” She turned, went to her fridge, and then she poured herself a glass of milk.
“It’s not how it seems.”
“God, you sound like a man caught with his pants down.”
“Lily, listen to me.”
“Why, Shade? Why?”
“Because I love you.”
Her body went numb. “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to stand there and say you love me to get out of this. You knew, Shade. You knew about the dust in my lab. Didn’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“Stop it! You fucking knew who I was before you even came upon me in the park, and I believed that you had met me by accident. I thought you actually saw me and not something I could do for you. Oh, God, how stupid you must think I am. I slept with you, Shade. I fell in love with you, and all of it was a lie.”
Shade’s eyes filled with tears as he took a step closer. She felt numb. She couldn’t bring herself to care. Their relationship was based on a lie, and that wasn’t something she could just get over.
“Yes, Lily. I knew your lab had the dust. That’s why I came here, but you’ve got the rest wrong. Yes, my job was to find out what you knew, but as I did that, I found out who you were. I got to know the real Lily, and I fell in love with her. All of that is real, Lily.”
She held back the tremors and lifted her chin. “How can I believe anything you say?”
He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist, and rested his head on her stomach. She didn’t touch him. Couldn’t touch him.
“Lily, you’re mine. I hated doing it. Hated it, but there was nothing else I could do. I had to put the fate of the angels before my own wishes.”
“And, in the process, before me.”
Shade nodded and gripped harder. “That ended. I fell for you, Lily.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I love you. I’d do anything for you. Don’t you understand how much it hurt to lie to you? I hated every minute of it, but I had to do it. If I could go back, I’d change it.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t talk to me like I don’t know what hurt means. I loved you.”
“I love you, Lily. You’re my true half.”
Something inside clicked, as if a missing piece of her had been found. It was as if she’d finally understood their connection…why’d she’d fallen for him on the spot. Her heart ached to reach out and be with him. “What does that mean?”
“You’re my soul mate. The other half of my life. The one I’ll spend eternity with.”
For just a moment, she let herself picture that future with him. The one with angels and babies and smiles, but that would be a lie. He’d chosen to lie to her and had made love to her under false pretenses. That wasn’t forgivable, even to a lonely lab tech like her.
“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have done what you did. Leave now.” Grief filled her. Grief for a future lost, a love that wasn’t mean to be.
“Lily.”
“No. Out.”
“But, you may not be safe.”
“I’m not safe even with you here. You’ve already proven that.”
Hurt crossed his face, but she couldn’t care about it. Because if she did, she’d fall to her knees and into his arms. She had to be strong.
Shade rose, a dejected look on his face. “I’ll still protect you.”
“Find someone else. I don’t trust you.”
He flinched, and, for a moment, she felt bad, but she had to get him out of her home before she did something crazy like kiss him.
He nodded, trailed a finger down her cheek, and walked out the door.
She watched the door close and held a hand up to her cheek. She could still feel his touch. With a sob, she lowered herself to the floor and wept.
Chapter 17
Shade walked into his home blindly. He’d royally fucked up and he had no one to blame but himself. Yes, the council had ordered him to do what he could—anything he had to as ordered—to protect the angels. In doing so, he’d hurt the most important thing in his life.
Had it been worth it?
Hell, no.
God, the look on her face when he’d told her the truth. It had broken him. He’d fallen to his knees and begged her, yet she hadn’t wanted to look at him. She’d destroyed him by revealing he’d destroyed her.
Now, she was alone, just like him, and she had no one to protect her.
Shade went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He gulped it down quickly, letting the liquid help quench his thirst, though he didn’t taste it.
He’d lied again.
He wouldn’t leave her alone. He couldn’t. No, he’d never force her. God, no. He wouldn’t let her be on her own with a new and scary world out there. For God’s sake, she didn’t even know what being a brownie meant!
He took another sip of his beer and sat on the couch, his head in his free hand. How the hell had things taken such a turn?
Oh, yeah, because he was a jackass. Why did he have to lie to her? She’d closed off, her eyes devoid of the warmth he’d fallen in love with. She didn’t trust him. The fact that they’d said they loved each other was now tarnished because of his deceit.
He felt worthless.
“Self-pity doesn’t help anyone,” Ambrose admonished.
Shade glared at his friend and took the last swig from his bottle. “It’s not self-pity.”
Ambrose raised a blond brow.
Shade cursed. “Fine. It’s a little self-pity. Just let me continue for a moment, okay?”
Ambrose leaned back in the armchair. “From the look on your face, I take it our dear Lily found out the truth.”
“She’s not our dear anything.”
“Ah.”
“Dammit, Ambrose, I really fucked up.”
“Yes, you did. At first, it was unavoidable.”
Shade closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pang deep down in his soul. Yes, it hurt that he’d lost something precious. Oh, God, his heart ached, but what was worse was that he’d hurt Lily in the process. That was unforgivable.
“I should have said something sooner.”
“Yes, you should have.”
“Thanks for cutting me some slack,” he said dryly, not believing it anyway.
“Why should I?”
“You shouldn’t.”
“At least on that w
e agree.”
Shade closed his eyes and pictured Lily’s wide green eyes. Damn.
“Once you had developed feelings for the woman, you should have told her, but you were scared.”
Shade stiffened, the words cutting deep, but he didn’t contradict Ambrose. After all, it was true.
“I left her alone, Ambrose.”
“I know. It’s something you’ll have to rectify. Soon.”
Shade looked at the man, a sudden urgency riding him. “What?”
“I’ve just been to the council.”
His pulse thudded in his ears. “The whole council or just Striker?” Fucking brown-winged leech.
“The whole of it.”
“And? What did they say?”
“That Lily is a problem that must be rectified.”
Shade jumped to his feet. “What do you mean?”
Ambrose shook his head. “They don’t trust us to finish our assignment. They’ve put a hit out on our girl.”
Shade saw red, his body shaking. He held back his fists, not wanted to punch the messenger. “They want us to kill my true-half?”
“No, they want someone else to do it. They’re sending him soon.”
“You’ve got to be fucking me. What would killing her accomplish?”
“Striker is adamant.”
“That fucker wants to kill her because of a speck of dust?”
“And they don’t even know yet what she truly is.”
“Oh, God. If they found that out…” Shade didn’t even want to think about that. What would they do to her if they found out she’d transformed into a brownie? Death might be a kinder fate.
“Shade, we won’t let them harm her.”
Relief at his friend’s words filled him. “So, you’ll go against the council with me?”
Ambrose nodded. “I will go up against Striker. I don’t believe we know everything, but I do know that he has a vendetta against us both. He must not be allowed to wield this power. I will protect Lily for you and also because she should not die because of the greed and pride of one angel.”
“Do you know who they’ve sent?”
The other man shook his head. “No, but Striker will send them.”
“Shit. That fucker is going to have her killed because he wants to get at us. She doesn’t know anything she shouldn’t because she’s a supernatural.”
“But they don’t know that, Shade. For all they know, she’s a human who’s stumbled upon the dust of an angel and is about to go to the nearest news station with her findings or sign a book deal. They’re trying to head things off before it gets worse.”
“And killing her will stop that?”
“In Striker’s mind, yes. He’s poisoned the rest of the council with his venomous lies. He wants her dead, and unless we can stop it, he’ll get what he wants.”
“Then we have to go to her.”
“Agreed, though it won’t be easy protecting her.”
Shade snorted, ignoring the pain settling hard as a rock in the bottom of his stomach. “I don’t care what we have to do. She will not be harmed even though she doesn’t trust me.” Again, he ignored the pain. “I will do all that is in my power to protect her.”
Ambrose sighed. “I’m sorry you had to lie to her, Shade.”
He closed his eyes, wishing he could turn back time. “Me, too.”
They ran to Ambrose’s car, and Shade prayed they weren’t too late. If she died because of his world, he’d never forgive himself. He’d thought he lost a part of himself when he lost Cora, but his green-eyed beauty just might make him lose the whole of it.
****
“I want her dead! Do you hear me? Dead!” Striker spat at his second in command, Law.
Law, a gray-winged angel with dead eyes, blinked slowly. “You’re telling me this…why?”
Striker balled his fists, rage rising within. “Because it’s your job!”
“Uh, no, not so much,” Azel, his third, said. The angel flexed his black wings, a bored look on his face. “We don’t kill little humans because you can’t get the job done.”
“You do what I say! I’m the leader.” Why didn’t they get that?
“We follow you because of your position in the council,” Law explained. “You’ll get us what we want—the warriors and council dead. Other than that, we’re not your lackeys.”
Striker paced away. “I need this human dead. It’s the only way. With her dead, Shade will fall apart, taking Ambrose with him.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Azel said.
“Of course it does. You’re too stupid to understand.” Shit. Maybe not the best thing to say to two of the deadliest angels out there. These two had been by his side during the Angelic Wars. Their form of torture was legendary, so much so, that Striker had faked their deaths in an elaborate fashion so they could continue their pain play in private. He suppressed a shudder. He really didn’t want to think about what type of kink they enjoyed.
Striker gave them a brilliant smile. “I didn’t mean that.”
Please, don’t kill me.
Law took a metallic sculpture—a priceless one, though Striker held his tongue—and bent it with one hand. The scraping sound brought bile to Striker’s mouth. He could imagine his neck being bent in that same contorted position. Not good.
“I hope you didn’t mean that,” Law said, his dead eyes boring holes into Striker.
“I didn’t. I swear. But…um…where was I? Oh, well, Lily, the human, needs to die. The council ordered it after I pushed. With her dead, they will look toward Shade and Ambrose with disdain and maybe even demote them. Then they’ll be easy pickings for you.”
Azel nodded, dumber than a bag of bricks. “Fine. Whatever gets us closer to our goal. I’ll kill the human. Won’t take but ten minutes as long as that ass, Shade, is gone. He is gone, right?”
Striker nodded vigorously. “Yes, I just saw them. She threw him out for good. She’ll be easy.”
Law cocked his head. “So you say.”
Striker spread out his wings and growled. “I’m the leader. You would do well to remember that. Come closer for your reward before we start.” The two looked at each other but did as he commanded. With that, he flicked a switch, and the room filled with an electrical charge that struck the two in front of him, strategically placed on metal sheeting in the floor. An angel must do what he could to remain in power.
The other angels screamed in pain and Striker flicked the switch again. “Do you understand me now?”
The others nodded, blood seeping from their mouths. They were too stupid to realize that they could just walk around the setting and not get hurt again. For that, Striker was grateful.
“Good.”
“I’ll leave now,” Azel said, his face not looking so bored anymore.
Striker grinned. Oh, how he loved when things came together. He barely resisted the urge to clap at his good fortune. He must not look like a fool in front of his men. “Good. Now go.” Azel left, leaving him in the room alone with Law.
“As for you, Law, I want you to watch the council like you have been.” He grimaced at the mention of the elderly busybodies that made up his cohorts in justice. “I want to know their every move. They cannot be allowed to know my plans.”
Law nodded. “They won’t be a problem.”
Good. Plans were in motions. Soon, the girl would be dead, then the warriors. Then he’d be in power. It was all he’d ever hoped to have in his life.
Chapter 18
Lily scrubbed the non-existent stain on her kitchen floors, pretending the tears in her eyes came from the ammonia and not the pain in her heart. How stupid could a girl get? She’d slept with a man she barely knew, and she was surprised that things didn’t work out?
She wrung out the sponge and set it on the other side of the bucket. Her body felt like it had gone through a weeklong bender, and she hadn’t even had the luxury of drinking.
She really needed to get over this pity-party,
but she deserved at least a few more hours of it. She had almost called her friends, but she couldn’t. Faith would say, “I told you so” then go kick his ass, and the others would hug her, bring ice cream, and man bash. Lily wasn’t quite there yet.
She drained the bucket, cleaned the sink and removed her gloves. She grabbed some milk and chocolate and then walked with labored steps to the couch. Sinking into the cushions, she closed her eyes. She’d been craving milk like crazy, but that was most likely due to her new genetics. That was at least something healthy. Who knew what else would manifest itself as she learned what it meant to be a brownie?
Cold crept along her skin. Shade had left.
She couldn’t really believe it. She felt numb, as if he’d taken an important part of her when he’d left. No—when she’d made him leave.
Yes, she’d told him, in no uncertain terms, to walk out that door, but part of her had hoped he’d stay.
God, she was a glutton for punishment.
What was all that talk of true halves? For a moment, she’d felt a sense of wholeness when he’d mention it. Then the truth of his deceit had tightened like a noose, and anything warm and good had been squelched.
God, she missed him, and she hated that she did.
Another part of her hated that she hated that she missed him.
A vicious cycle that made her head hurt. A knock at the door startled her. Who could that be? Her heart thudded as a sense of…something washed over her, as if the air had become heavy and charged around her like a sense of danger. Her body turned gold, and her head hurt at the thought of the oncoming threat. How she knew it was a threat, she didn’t know. She didn’t want to open that door.
“Lily, open the door, dear.” A growly voice she didn’t recognize penetrated the door, and Lily stood up.
Where could she hide? Did she have enough time to make it out the window? She didn’t know, but she needed to get out of there, now.
The door crashed open, splinters spraying around the room, and a chunk of wood slicing her cheek. She winced at the pain and scrambled backward.
An angel walked through, dark black wings unfurled behind him.
Dust of My Wings Page 14
