by Fiona Faris
“Nathan?”
“Aye, lass?”
The fire had gone down and the cool darkness of the room gave Milly some level of comfort.
“I never told ye how sorry I was tae here about yer da. He was a good man.”
“Aye, he was. I was sorry tae hear about yers as well.”
“Dae ye regret not being here? Not fighting?”
“Och, Milly. I regret much. I never wanted tae fight, but a part of me thinks if I had been here, if I hae nae been so selfish, I could’ve fought alongside my da, yers and yer brothers, maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we are in now. I tried to reason that nae one asked me tae come home and fight, but maybe I’m a coward. Maybe my da ken I wasn’t made for battle. Maybe he ken I couldn’t hae kept him alive no matter what I did.” His voice was thick. Milly imagined the weight of everything he wrestled with was enough to wear a regular man down, but Nathan seemed to be holding his own. Not just himself and his clan, but now for her as well, with her hunt for Gavin. She had no answer for him. She thought it wouldn’t of mattered, and she thought she was the selfish one because she was glad Nathan didn’t fight. She was glad he was here with her now. Had things been different, had he stayed and been to Dunkeld with the rest of them, he could have just as easily perished himself. The thought of Nathan, bleeding, wounded or dead in a field somewhere was terrifying.
The silence lingered between them for what seemed like an eternity, but yet sleep still wouldn’t come. Milly decided to push her luck with Nathan again. She was more consumed with thoughts of their entrance into the prison in the morning. Even though they had been more than successful in the way they had dispatched this afternoon’s villains, she didn’t have a lot of faith in their ability to pull off their mission.
“Before ye came home, had ye ever been in a prison?” Nathan let out a light sigh. It didn’t seem to Milly that he was frustrated by her question, or irritated at all by her chatter. It was more like he was struggling with how to answer her, where to begin.
“Only once, lass. Most of the men I brought home went back to their clan’s keeps. Only one time I had the misfortune of bringing a lad to the gallows.”
“A lad? He was young then?”
“Aye, too young in my opinion, probably around fifteen, and already had many runs with the law. He was a thief, a highwayman, and committed any number of untold crimes, but he’d had a hard life. No da, a sweet mother who relied on her son’s thievery to keep her family fed. The problem was the lad enjoyed being bad. He dinnae want tae be or he was unable to be reformed. He finally ran afoul one tae many times and the bounty on him was large. He fought me every step of the way. I have a small scar on the inside of me arm where the lad tried tae run me through with a dirk. Similar to what ye did tae that bastard today in the street. I delivered him tae the gallows, and I’m sure eventually he was hung. It was a waste. All death is a waste, but especially the young. Sometimes I wonder if he didn’t have a chance somewhere new, somewhere away from here, would he have been better? I try not tae think of th’ poor lad.”
“That’s so terrible.” Tears began to well in Milly’s eyes. She turned her head into the pillow not wanting Nathan to hear her sob for a poor boy she hadn’t known, but the thought of a lad being unable to change, being hung. The thought that he had a mother somewhere who grieved for him. It was too much for her. She swallowed hard and willed the tears away.
“Aye it ’twas.”
Nathan went quiet then. Milly didn’t know what to say or how to continue. She had a thousand more questions she wanted to ask him. She wanted to know about the countries he’d visited. The people he’d met. Did he fancy any of the lasses he’d come into contact with during his travels? She wanted to know how he was feeling about his da. Did he miss the old Laird? But she couldn’t form the words. Finally it was Nathan that broke the silence from his pallet on the floor.
“Milly, ye should be prepared for tomorrow, it willnae be a pleasant place. There will be filth and disease. Did ye see the orange oil, cinnamon, and other spices I brought back from town? In th’ morning I want ye take mix them with water and soak yer handkerchiefs in the mixture. When we enter the prison, keep one covering yer mouth and nose at all times. Promise me.” Milly had never heard such as strange request.
She nodded but realized he wouldn’t be able to see her from where he lay in the dark. So she spoke. “The odor in the gaol is that unpleasant, that I should cover my face?”
“It is like nothing ye’d ever smelled before, Milly. But that’s not only reason. There is also disease. So many men, in filth, so close together seems tae breed illness. It’s been said that the particular mixture of spices that I brought back for ye can ward off disease. I’ll nae hae ye catch yer death. As it stands I was insane tae allow ye tae come, even though I ken I need ye tae get in. I need to protect ye as best I can and ye need tae prepare yerself for th’ state of the men we could see. It willnae be pretty. Ye’ll want to save them all, but we cannae. It’ll be luck alone that gets us out with Gavin, if he’s there. Ye hae tae ken he could be in a bad way.”
His words were not lost on her, but she couldn’t get past his descriptions of the illness and suffering. She supposed she should have guessed, and she was grateful, but she still found herself suddenly powerless against the anguish she felt. Somehow she should’ve known, she should’ve sensed Gavin’s need for her and found a way to come sooner. She couldn’t hide the wretched sobs that came from her throat. Tears and sobs not for herself, but for her brother. How could she have left Gavin to suffer in that kind of hell for so long? It was all too much. She was a foolish girl to have thought she was strong enough for such an undertaking.
As quickly as her tears began, Nathan was off the floor and with her on the bed, pulling her into his arms. She clutched at him, crying into his chest.
“Shhhh now, lass. I ken it’s terrifying, but ye’re brave, and ye do this for Gavin. Dinnae fash.”
“It’s been months… he’s been in there for months, Nathan. How could he hae survived? How?” She looked up at him imploring him to make her pain fade. She needed Nathan to reassure her somehow that all was not lost.
“Gavin is strong, lass. Remember when we were wee little bairns, it was Gavin who was the toughest. It was Gavin leading the charge. Lucas called him one of the strongest warriors to battle and he was right. I’ll admit I dinnae think Gavin was alive when ye first brought this tae me, but after the things I heard from the men in town today about the braw, ginger warrior. I ken it had tae be yer brother and nae one else.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to know his words were true, but then why couldn’t she feel her brother? They were twins, born minutes apart under the same moon. As long as they both drew breath, their connection was stronger more than mere siblings, stronger than her connection to Lucas, stronger than her connection to any living thing. She could feel Gavin’s heart as sure as she could feel her own. She knew he was alive when no one else did. She trusted he would come back to her, to their family. Now it seemed he was too far away from her, and the thought of him in pain and suffering was unbearable. She thought of Elias, all these months, he knew Gavin was alive, and he had the power to bring her brother home, but he didn’t. He waited until an opportune moment, until he could use the knowledge of Gavin’s survival to get something he wanted. His greed knew no bounds.
Anger began to seethe inside her. She pulled away from Nathan and looked up into his eyes as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“When this is over, Nathan, I want to come back tae MacKenzie Castle with ye.”
“When this is over I will be takin’ ye back tae Cadney where ye belong, and I ken ye’ll be safe from my cousin.”
“Nay, I am going to kill your cousin. When this is over, and I find my brother, I’m going to kill Elias Mackenzie.”
She expected him to argue. She expected to see his midnight eyes widen is surprise. What she didn’t expect was Nathan to cup her face in both of h
is hands and kiss her, hard. This kiss was unlike the kiss from the night before, which had been punishing, a way for Nathan to prove to her he was superior. Now even though his kiss was hard, it also held a promise. Her calculated promise to kill Elias awoke something in Nathan, something primal, and Milly wanted more of it. He understood her pain, and her anger, and more than anything he agreed. She began to move her mouth beneath his, separating her lips slightly allowing for Nathan’s tongue to slip inside, cajoling her to allow him more of her. Their tongues met and tangled in sweet agreement. She willingly gave him what he wanted. He tasted exquisite like whisky and woodsmoke. He moved his hands from her face, down her body to her waist, pulling her closer. She moaned, turning into him and arching her body to give him better access. As Nathan deepened the kiss, Milly moved to press herself tightly against his chest. His hands moved from her waist to the curve of her breasts. He cupped each heavy mound in his hands, twirling his thumbs over each taut nipple, moving his tongue in a new, intoxicating rhythm. She gasped from pleasure in his touch. Stars exploded behind her eyes as heat pooled in the very center of her.
He pulled away from her then, moving to place a mouth over one breast, biting and teasing her nipple through the light fabric of her chemise. It was sheer ecstasy. Milly had never felt the sensations or the tension that crowded her now. “Please…Nathan…”
“Say what ye want, lass. Tell me what ye want.”
“I cannae. Oh please… dinnae stop.”
“What do ye want Milly, tell me?”
Everything, she wanted him to keep kissing her, keep touching her. She wanted his mouth on her, everywhere. She didn’t know how to express the deep need that was settling inside her. She knew she should be afraid of the raw emotions between them, but she only craved more. More of Nathan’s mouth on her. More of Nathan. He dragged his mouth to her other breast. This time lifting her chemise and she drew in a sharp breath as the cool air hit her bare skin. He pulled her other nipple into his mouth, this time the lack of the protection of the warm fabric between his lips and her skin made the tension of his kiss unbearable. “I will give ye th’ world, lass, but ye have to tell me what it is ye want.”
“You, Nathan… oh God. I want you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lavender, honey, anger, pain and finally relief. Nathan was overwhelmed by the scents and emotions that came with Milly in his arms. Her bravery and dedication were the only elixir he sought. He craved her. He couldn’t tear himself away, and he was no longer sure he wanted to. At first he had been willing to trap her into marriage, then realizing he couldn’t do that, he offered to help her on this quest to save Gavin. But he didn’t expect the hunger and need for her that would grow out of their shared proximity. Maybe it was always supposed to be like this between them, he thought. Or maybe it was only circumstance driving them together. No matter the why, at this moment Nathan was unwilling to question it or let it go.
He had never told anyone about the lad he had brought to the gaol before. He’d never trusted anyone enough to share his pain. Something about the tenderness and inquisitiveness of her voice and the dark cover of night drew him to reveal secrets he’d thought long hidden. He was a moth drawn to her flame, dancing around the edges of her heat; trusting fully, but aware of the danger of allowing himself to get too close. Once she lost control of her own emotions, her own pain, it was all he could do to keep himself from her. He wanted to wrap himself around her to protect her from every evil the world would throw at them. He wanted her never to feel pain again. But when she told him of her plan for Elias, that was his undoing. She was fierce; a warrior in ways very different from her brother. She was a goddess. Even if it was just for this moment, this night, she was his.
He took her mouth again, giving her his strength, his passion. She matched him kiss for kiss. He knew he wouldn’t go so far as to take her maidenhood, as difficult as it would be. That should be saved for her husband. Someone she loved. Milly deserved that much, and Nathan would give that to her. But still, he was selfish and he intended to give her pleasure she had never known. She deserved that as well, and so much more.
“What do ye want, Milly, tell me?” He teased first her lips, then her neck, down to the hollow where her throat met her collarbone. He kissed and licked that delicate, soft dip that held so much attraction for him. “I will give ye th’ world lass, but ye have to tell me what it is ye want.”
“You, Nathan… oh God. I want you.”
Her words broke the last of his resolve. Laying her back onto the pillows, he never once drew his mouth away from hers as he lifted her chemise over her head to finish removing the barrier to her body. Then he pulled back. The light was low but he was still able to see each fold and curve of her luscious body as she laid bare before him. She instinctively covered herself with her arms, but he moved them away.
“Nay, lass, let me look upon ye. Ye are th’ most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.” His voice was heavy with need. He spoke the truth. He had seen his share, and bedded his share of women, but none could hold a candle to Milly.
A sliver of moonlight came through the grime of the inn window illuminating her beneath him. Her cheeks, nose, and even shoulders were dotted with the tiniest of freckles, delightful in each placement. He growled low in his throat. Even the freckles on her skin held the light like perfectly placed specks on pristine porcelain. There was nothing but beauty where the curve of her breast met with the soft pink hue of each nipple, tight and erect in pleasure for him, perfectly complimenting the lightness of peach on her lips, now swollen from his kisses. His mark was on her. His thoughts screamed, mine, mine, mine. Milly was absolute perfection. He dipped his head again, trailing soft kisses, starting where he’d left off at her collar bone and then further down, drifting lazily toward the center of her abdomen, using his hands to touch her everywhere. He only allowed himself to stop for a moment at the soft hollow in the center her stomach. Milly arched into him, her murmurs and moans the encouragement he sought to continue. At every kiss, he could feel her desire coming in waves. He moved lower still, kissing and touching, relishing the feel of her beneath him until he arrived at the tuft of auburn curls that protected her most sacred gift.
“Nathan…Nathan, I want to touch you.” She reached for him, clutching first his shoulders then running her hands down his chest. It was agony, His erection throbbed at the sound of his name on her lips. He was harder than stone, and his only thoughts were of her. She tugged at his plaid to release him, running her thumb along his satin tip as her hand curled around his shaft. He took in a sharp breath, releasing it in a deep moan. She was to be his undoing. He could tell she was nervous and unaware of the power she held over him as he gently pulled her hand away. Her curiosity was his torture.
“Oh, did I hurt you?”
“Nay, lass, ye dinnae hurt me, only if ye keep touching me like that, the night will be over sooner than I’d like.”
“Oh.” He knew she didn’t know exactly what he meant, but he didn’t give her time to think more on it as he moved lower still, kissing the delicate skin on the inside of her thigh. He moved his hands to separate the folds of skin at her center, and finding what he was seeking, he used his thumb to rub gentle circles into the swollen knob of desire at the apex of her sex. Instinct caused Milly to clamp her thighs tight around him. “There, there, lass… this is the best part,” he said as he opened her to him again.
“Nathan, ye can’t mean tae…” Her voice caught in her throat as he replaced his thumb with his mouth. He took her delicate nub into his mouth, kissing her most sensitive part. Sweet Jesus, her taste was exquisite.
“Oh… oh…” She bucked, arching hard into his mouth as he gripped her from behind to steady her body. He smiled into her. That’s it, lass, that’s what ye like, he thought using his free hand to grab his own growing need. Using his mouth and hand in equal pace and rhythm, he felt Milly go tense and still. She was holding on for dear life, and Nathan felt her body move into
convulsions as she begged for her release. The sweet taste of her causing the tension in his own body to begin to unfurl. He moved his own hand faster up and down his shaft, wanting to go over the edge with her. Milly let out a shattering scream and her body relaxed into his just as he came into his own finish.
He moved up her body, gently kissing her until he came to lay beside her, his breathing just as ragged as hers. He couldn’t remember a time when a release had felt so damn good. He rolled to his side and pushed an unruly, stray lock of hair from her forehead.
