by L.H. Cosway
My voice was barely a whisper. “What are you doing?”
He cleared his throat, his eyes still glued to me, before starting to apologise. “Fuck, sorry….” His voice trailed off, and I realised I hadn’t made a single move to cover myself. I hurried over to my closet and grabbed a black robe before shrugging into it.
When I looked at Damon again, he seemed to be struggling, his gaze levelled intently on the floor.
“You can look now,” I said, and he glanced up, exhaling.
“Sorry.”
“You already said that.”
“I should go.” He turned to leave, but my voice stopped him.
“If you were going to go, you should have done it while I was still naked,” I said quietly. “I’m covered now, so why don’t you just come in and tell me what you wanted. And please, shut the door.”
My voice was shaky and my stomach tight with nervous tension. It was arousing that he’d seen me half dressed, but at the same time incredibly embarrassing. Had he liked what he’d seen?
Damon went and closed the door, sealing us in privacy. The tension thickened, and I suddenly realised it was probably a bad idea asking him to stay.
“I’ve barely seen you all week,” he said on a deep exhalation, still standing several feet away from me. Right then, I was thankful for the distance.
I tightened my robe and tipped my chin up. “You’ve been busy,” I replied simply. The rest of the sentence was implied: You’ve been busy – with your costar.
As though echoing my thoughts, he went on, “I came here tonight with Alicia.”
“Okay….”
“She showed up at the house, and I couldn’t get rid of her.”
I tried to play it cool. “Why are you telling me all this, Damon?”
He swallowed thickly before laying his dark eyes on me. So much was communicated in the silence, but then all he said was, “I didn’t invite her. I don’t even know how she got my address.”
I turned away and picked up a bottle of perfume from my dresser, shakily spraying some on my wrists and neck. “Like I told you before, you don’t need to explain yourself. We’re friends, but that doesn’t mean you’re obliged to inform me about your romantic life.”
He grew still after I said it but didn’t reply. Waves of tension rolled over him, and then he took several strides across my room until he was next to me. I didn’t look at him, but instead gave him my profile. The room was so quiet; I listened to him breathe as he looked at me. A flush broke out over my neck and chest under his attention.
When my gaze flicked down momentarily, I noticed he was hard. My lips parted on a small gasp. I wondered if he was aroused because of what he’d seen. The spot between my legs quivered, and I instinctively clenched my thighs to dull the ache. He took my hand, lifting it and inhaling the scent of my perfume on the inside of my wrist.
“You smell like orange blossom,” he murmured, and my throat grew dry.
I stood there, frozen, as he made eye contact with me before pressing his lips to the skin he’d just inhaled. Time stood still and I closed my eyes, savouring the connection. Then he drew away, a struggle in the set of his mouth.
“I’ll go get you a drink,” he murmured hastily and I nodded, thankful for a reprieve.
He lowered my hand, then turned and walked out of the room. I felt like I could finally breathe again as I desperately glanced around, trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.
Dressing. Right, I was supposed to be getting dressed. Grabbing my things, I went inside the en-suite and quickly put on my outfit. The dress fitted tightly to my form, outlining my curves and emphasising the swell of my chest. All of a sudden, I felt far too bare. After the way Damon had looked at me, devouring me with his eyes, I sort of wanted to cover up.
Running my fingers through the waves of my hair before topping up my lip gloss, I put on my heels and walked back out into the room. Damon stood by my dresser, a glass of white wine in hand. His gaze wandered from my face to my neck before roving down over my body. I was exposed to him in that moment in a way that caused an unbearable heat to simmer just below the surface of my skin.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, handing me the glass.
My breath caught, my throat constricting at the devastatingly simple compliment. I took the wine and quietly uttered my thanks before taking a seat on the bed. I needed a minute to just sit down and get my bearings. If only Damon weren’t standing there, staring at me like he wanted to ravage me. Perhaps I should have suggested we go out and join the party.
“Julian hasn’t arrived yet, has he?” I asked, looking up to find Damon’s attention trained on one of my partially opened drawers. And of course, it was my underwear drawer. A couple of my lacy undergarments were on display.
He closed his eyes for a second and swallowed before answering, “No, not yet.”
“That’s a relief,” I said, and took a sip of wine. “He would’ve given me hell if I missed his grand entrance.”
He didn’t reply, and I thought he might still be preoccupied with my underwear. Getting up, I placed my glass on the dresser and went to close the drawer.
“Sorry, um, I wasn’t expecting anyone to come in here.”
“It’s my fault. I should have waited for you to come out, but I really wanted to see you.”
I glanced at him and couldn’t handle how he was looking at me, so I swiftly changed the subject. “You’re getting better at dancing. I’ve been watching you during rehearsals.”
He tilted his head, his eyes calculating. “Think I could still do with a few more private lessons.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded and reached down to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering at my neck. My phone, which was sitting on my dresser, buzzed with a text. I picked it up while Damon continued to stroke just below my earlobe. It was from Julian.
I’ll be arriving in ten minutes. Make sure everybody’s ready.
Damon must have been reading the text over my shoulder, because he chuckled low.
“I thought this was supposed to be a surprise party.”
I smiled. “Yeah, just wait and see. He’ll put all the actors in the room to shame when he comes in.”
I quickly typed out a reply.
They’ll be ready. Text when you’re outside.
I tried to think of somewhere to keep my phone, but my dress had no pockets. With no other choice, I slid it into the cup of my bra. Damon watched with wry interest.
“Don’t laugh. I never do this, but I need my phone on me for when Julian gets here and I don’t have any pockets.”
“I can mind it for you,” he offered.
“Oh,” I said in surprise. “That’d be great, thanks. Less chance of breast cancer and all that,” I went on stupidly, and was just about to take it out when Damon reached forward and I froze. He ran his knuckles over my bare collarbone, then slid his fingers inside my bra, deftly plucking out the phone. I closed my eyes and swallowed at the sensation of his warm, masculine fingers brushing my breast.
“Three, three, seven, nine,” I said, eyes still closed.
Damon’s voice was a husky rumble. “Pardon?”
“That’s my pin code, so you can check the message when Julian texts.”
“Three, three, seven, nine,” he repeated, and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with a mixture of fondness and lust. Okay, so normally I wondered a lot what went on in his head, especially since he was so closed off at times. But in that moment, I knew he desired me. It was the unexpected boob sighting. That had to be the reason.
I cleared my throat and said softly, “I’d better get out there. Poor Iggy must be run ragged with all the preparations.”
He coughed, looking a tad sheepish. “Aye. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I looked at him quizzically and he motioned to the seat of his pants, where he was very visibly hard. My mouth formed a round “O” in realisation.
“Right, of co
urse. Take as much time as you, uh, need,” I said, awkwardly grabbing my wine glass and hurrying out the door. When I entered the living area, I exhaled heavily, my entire body tingling from the encounter in my room.
I was delighted to find a bunch of guests had already arrived, but not so delighted to find that one of those guests was Blake. His eyes trailed down my body in blatant appreciation, but his attention didn’t feel the same as Damon’s. With Blake it was all about sex, but with Damon there was a purity, a certain soulfulness to his appreciative looks. Perhaps the difference was that, unlike Blake, Damon actually cared about me as a person. Blake was all about his own selfish gratification.
It was jarring how clearly I could see him now, as opposed to the rose-tinted glasses I once wore. Though they did say that hindsight is twenty-twenty.
I went and gave Iggy a massive hug, thanking him again for being such a life-saver. Farrah was chatting with Alicia, and Blake had insinuated himself into the conversation. As though sensing his emergence from my room, I turned and saw Damon approach. Our eyes met, and he bent low to speak in my ear. “Julian just texted. He’s outside now and says he’s waiting until he sees the lights turn off to come in.”
“Thanks,” I replied, and clinked my glass with a fork to address the room. “Okay, everyone, Julian will be here in just a minute. I’m going to turn the lights out, and then when he comes in, I’ll switch them on and we can all shout ‘surprise.’” I was met with lots of noises of agreement as I headed for the light switch. Damon followed, remaining at my side, and when the lights went out and everybody grew hushed, he whispered so that only I could hear, “You have beautiful tits, Rose.”
His voice was low and gravelly, and I broke out in shivers, my palm sweaty where I held it by the light switch. My thighs trembled at his husky tone, images flooding my mind. I wished he’d touched me back in my room, taken control and not given me a chance to flee. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t seem to find my voice.
Would, you have a very beautiful cock suffice? At least, what I could see outlined beneath his pants looked beautiful.
A second later, the door was opening and everyone was jumping up to shout “happy birthday” to Julian as he came in, plastering an expression of surprise and glee on his face.
Everything got a little busy after that as I arranged all of Julian’s gifts on the kitchen table for him. Blake seemed to always be within a few feet of me, and it was really getting on my nerves. Well, it was until Julian clocked him and declared loudly, “Ozzie, ya ol’ hoebag, how’re things?”
Unable to stifle my laughter, I watched as Julian slung an arm around Blake’s shoulders. He didn’t seem at all fazed by how Julian had addressed him, but that was Blake for you, completely self-involved.
“I’m good. Happy Birthday, by the way,” Blake replied, and Julian shot me a mischievous grin.
“It’d be a lot happier if you’d sling your hook.”
Alicia, who was standing nearby with a glass of champagne in hand, couldn’t help but to address Julian. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit rude to speak to your guest like that?”
Julian’s eyes shone at the challenge in her voice, dropping his arm from Blake as he approached her. “It’s my party, Alicia darling, so I’ll speak to my guests however I please.” He was grinning, while Alicia narrowed her eyes to slits.
“If that’s the case, then I’m surprised anyone bothered to show up,” she replied cuttingly before turning and walking away, her hips swaying with sassy attitude. Unsurprisingly, Julian followed her. I sighed, sensing those two might end up murdering one another by the time the night was through. Well, either that or shagging each other’s brains out.
“You could cut the sexual tension with a knife,” Blake commented, sidling up to me, his tone friendly.
“What?” I replied stiffly.
A gleam came into his eyes. “Between Julian and Alicia.”
“Oh, right. Yeah.”
Turning away from him, I continued stacking the last few colourfully wrapped gifts on the table. Julian was going to have a ball opening all these. I smiled at the thought, and Blake misinterpreted it as directed at him.
“Now, was that so hard? I’ve missed your smiles,” he purred, and this close I could smell the Issey Miyake cologne he always wore. Three things would forever remind me of Blake: Issey Miyake, Twinning’s Breakfast Blend, and custard creams. I’d had to buy a different brand of tea ever since he cast me aside, and that truly bothered me. I used to love Twinning’s.
“I’m smiling at the gifts. Not at you,” I said, finally meeting his gaze as I placed a hand on my hip. “By the way, did you ever manage to bed your last leading lady? I remember you being quite determined.”
Blake winced. “I was despicable to you. I know that.”
“As far as I can see, you’re still the same person,” I replied casually.
Now his lips thinned as he frowned, eyes studying me. “You do realise I was off my head on coke the entire time we were together, don’t you?”
I gaped at him, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to comprehend what he’d just said. “You were…what?”
He nodded and ran a hand through his tousled locks. “I got myself into a programme just last month. I’m three weeks clean,” he said, and pulled his phone from his pocket to show me his sobriety app.
“But…but you never seemed like you were on drugs. I don’t understand,” I replied, reeling from the information.
“I’d been abusing my body for a long time, Rose. I knew how to hide it. Besides, didn’t you ever wonder about all the crap I used to talk? Bullshitting on and on about the meaning of life and the size of the universe?”
My brows drew together. “That was one of the things I liked about you. I enjoyed talking about all that stuff.”
Now he laughed softly. “You’re way too nice for your own good. I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve the time of day from you. Now I just want to make amends.”
My expression turned cynical. “How?”
He took a step closer, his gaze moving from my lips, then up to my eyes. “By proving to you that I’m worthy. I never should have let you go.” He tried to take my hand into his, but I pulled away.
“Don’t touch me.”
Blake exhaled and dropped his head as though in shame. “Right, yes, I won’t do that again. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I was sure my bewilderment was written all over my face. Without another word, I left Blake standing there and went to find Julian. I needed to talk, needed my best friend to reassure me that I wasn’t losing my mind. Had Blake really been high the entire time we were together? Somehow that didn’t make me feel better about his behaviour. No, it made me feel worse, because what kind of dimwit doesn’t notice that the man she’s sleeping with is on drugs?
I searched the entire apartment but still couldn’t find Julian, so I headed for his bedroom. I walked down the hall that led off from the living area and was just about to knock on his door when it opened. Alicia emerged, looking slightly less put-together than she had earlier. Her face paled momentarily, but then she plastered on a breezy smile.
“Rose,” she said.
“Alicia,” I replied.
Flipping her hair over one shoulder, she stepped past me and back out into the apartment. When I entered Julian’s bedroom I found him leaning against the wall, his slim black tie askew and a recognisable shade of pink lipstick smeared on his mouth. It was the exact same shade Alicia had been wearing.
I let out a disbelieving laugh. “You didn’t!”
Julian grinned. “I did.”
I laughed some more before flopping down onto the end of his bed. “I’m not even going to ask.”
“No need. She wants me. Now it’s only a matter of time.” The confidence in his voice told me Alicia was in for it – well and truly in for it. Retrieving a slim cigarette holder from the pocket of his slacks, Julian pulled one out and lit up.
>
“So, what did you come interrupting a perfectly good time for?” he asked, exhaling a billow of smoke.
“It looked like your good time was already over. And I came to tell you about the interesting conversation I just had with Blake.”
Julian’s eyes shone with interest. “Oh, really? Do tell.”
“He said he was on drugs while we were together, and that he’s three weeks clean. He even showed me this sobriety app on his phone.”
My friend arched an eyebrow. “Major Tom was a junkie? Didn’t see that one coming.”
I sighed. “Me, neither. Am I a horrible person that I never even realised?”
Julian tutted. “Of course not. Some people are very good at hiding these things. In her day, my mother could down an entire bottle of gin and still look like she just stepped off the pages of a fashion catalogue. And let’s not even get started on the kind of sneaky behaviour I could pull off during my addiction.” He paused for a second to eye me while he smoked. “What was his poison?”
“Cocaine, apparently.”
“That’s a hard one to disguise.”
“I know. I just thought he was naturally hyper.”
Julian laughed. “Oh, Rose.”
“Shut up. I feel terrible, but that doesn’t mean I’m prepared to be his friend. Drugs or not, he hurt me.”
“And Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Julian added as he eyed me perceptively.
I shook my head, silently taking the cigarette from him and inhaling a drag. “I’m not scorned, not anymore. I just don’t trust him. Sure, he might be clean now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stay that way. I like my life how it is, and letting someone like Blake back into it could mess with the balance.”
“Not to mention there are other things holding your interest these days,” Julian chirped. “Speaking of which, why did Damon have your phone?”
“Oh. I asked him to keep an eye on it for when you texted. Actually, he still has it. I should go get it from him.”
I rose from the bed, handing Julian back his smoke.
“Hurry,” my friend urged me humorously. “You don’t want him finding all those sexy selfies you take on the sly.”
