by Raymond Bean
I don’t think I cracked a smile until we started to pack up to head home. I was ready to go in no time because I had nothing to pack.
We walked out in single file, completely silent, to find our buses.
I climbed onto mine and dropped into the first seat I could find. One day down, I thought. It was super hot on the bus, and the windows were all up. It was only a few stops, so I knew I’d be home in no time.
My friend Aaron sat next to me. “Hey,” he said, “how was your first day?”
“Boring,” I said.
“Really? Mine was awesome! We played kick-ball, went on the computers for a while, and got to read outside. Ms. Fiesta is the best.”
“I’m happy for you,” I lied, turning to look out the window.
“You know that Mike and John are in my class too, right? I didn’t realize it until today, but there are two kids from my baseball team in the class too. You’re my only good friend in another class.”
“I know. I’m alone on my own island in Mrs. Cliff’s class.”
“Who’s in the class?”
“No one I really know. No one that I hang out with.”
“That stinks!”
“Tell me about it,” I said. Then I remembered that I had a huge punishment waiting for me at home. I had been so busy being miserable at school I forgot all about the soup mix mess I’d created at home. At least my sisters wouldn’t be home for a few hours because they had after-school stuff.
“I think there’s something wrong with the bus,” Aaron said.
“Don’t tell me that,” I said. “I just want this day to end.”
I stood up and noticed that all the other buses were leaving. Our bus driver was on his cell phone. I watched him waving his arms around and looking pretty upset. He hung up and spoke into the loudspeaker. “Quiet please, everyone. It looks like this bus is not going anywhere, so the bus company is sending another bus to take you kids home. Sit tight. The bus should be here in a few minutes.”
I didn’t have a watch or any way to tell time, but it felt like an eternity before he spoke again. “It looks like the bus they were sending is also having problems, so they are sending a third bus to pick you guys up.”
I’m never going to get home, I thought.
12
The Punishment
By the time I finally got home, Mom was so worried that I thought she might have forgotten about the whole mess in the morning.
“I’m so happy you’re finally home. I was worried sick. I talked to the school and the bus company, and they kept telling me you’d be home in twenty minutes, and that was over two hours ago.”
“It was terrible, Mom,” I said, laying it on a little thick. “I don’t think I can get back on the bus tomorrow. It was pretty traumatic. I might need a day to recuperate. I’m pretty dehydrated. It was like a thousand degrees on that bus.”
“It’s the first day. Please don’t start trying to get out of going in tomorrow already.”
“Maybe I should head straight to my room and get some rest so I have the energy to go back tomorrow,” I said, hoping to avoid a conversation about the soup mixing.
“You can relax until your father and your sisters get home.”
I ran up to my room and opened my closet door. Please let him be here, I thought. The tank was gone. They had followed through on their promise to get rid of Mr. Squeeze. I thought for sure that they were bluffing. I had Mr. Squeeze as a pet since second grade. It wasn’t fair.
I was only in my room a short time when Mom called me downstairs. Everyone was at the kitchen table waiting to talk. Becky and Mindy looked thrilled to finally learn my punishment.
“Okay, I think we all can agree that this morning did not go the way any of us hoped,” Dad said. We all nodded that we agreed.
“Justin, what was going through your mind when you decided to throw soup mix on your sister?” he asked.
“I was just so mad at both of them. Becky was practically killing my snake with hair spray, and then Mindy was singing and celebrating the fact that I was going to lose my pet.”
“You should lose it!” she said. “That thing was going to kill one of us sooner or later.”
“It can’t kill us. It’s a constrictor. You act like it has venom or something.”
“I don’t care what it can do. I don’t want to see it ever again.”
“Well, congratulations, because it’s already gone.”
“I gave it to one of the guys I work with to hold on to for a while until we figure out what to do with Mr. Squeeze,” Dad said.
I wasn’t happy about it, but it was better than them giving him back to the pet store. Hope returned.
“Can I earn him back?” I asked.
“We haven’t decided,” Mom said. “Let’s deal with one problem at a time. I think the most pressing matter right now is your punishment for that horrible behavior this morning. Have you even apologized to your sisters?”
“No!” they answered in unison.
“I’m sorry I soup-mixed you,” I said in my most sincere voice. My parents believed in the entire family talking about punishments before giving them out. I had been in this situation before, but this was a pretty serious offense. I knew the punishment was going to be hefty.
“Your actions this morning were a combination of bad choices,” Dad said. “You created the whole drama by not making sure the snake’s cage was secure. Then you knocked your sister into the toilet bowl. If that wasn’t enough, you invaded your other sister’s privacy by going into the bathroom, and then you threw soup mix on her!”
“I didn’t mean to knock her into the toilet. It was an accident,” I said, an awesome accident, sure, but still an accident. “The soup thing was because I couldn’t think of any other way to make her stop. She was making fun of the fact that I had to get rid of the snake. She was being really mean.”
“So you decided to be really mean back to her?” Dad said.
“I guess so. I’m not saying it was right. I just reacted in the heat of the moment. I won’t do it again.”
“My hair smelled like soup all day long. It still does,” Mindy whined.
“You’re lucky it didn’t get in her eyes,” Becky added. “Sarah at school said she heard about a kid who was blinded by chicken noodle soup once.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said.
“Ask her!” she said back.
“Enough,” Mom interrupted. “We’re just lucky she didn’t slip and break her neck.”
I knew Mom couldn’t resist pointing out that she could have broken her neck.
“So what is the fitting punishment for a pre-meditated soup mixing?” Dad said, trying to be funny.
“It’s not funny,” Mindy pleaded.
“I’m just trying to lighten the situation, honey. What do you think his punishment should be?”
“He should lose his video games and TV forever, and he should be grounded until next summer.”
“Right,” I said.
“I think he’s already paid a pretty big price by losing his snake. But I agree there needs to be something else.”
“How about we get to do it to him?” Becky suggested.
“Yes!” Mindy said, perking up.
“No,” Mom said, “we can’t do that.”
“I don’t know,” Dad said. “I think it might be a fitting punishment.”
“You’re going to let her throw soup mix on me in the shower?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of in the backyard. Go get your bathing suit and a spoon, son. You’re about to get a taste of your own medicine. Mindy, go pick out the soup of the day. I’ll go get the hose.”
13
Tacos, Anyone?
Standing in the backyard in my bathing suit, I couldn’t help thinking that Dad wasn’t going to go through with it. He was probably trying to scare me and teach me a lesson. But when Mindy came out with a packet in hand, I knew it was about to go down.
“We’re ou
t of soup mix,” Mom said, “so she chose taco mix. Are we sure we want to do this?”
“Yes, he had no problem throwing soup mix on his sister this morning. Why should he mind getting the same treatment?”
Becky loved it. She pulled out a beach chair and even made herself an iced tea. She tried to videotape it, but Mom told her to shut it off.
Dad turned the hose on and handed it to my sister. I get it now, I thought, he’s testing her. He’s going to give her the hose and give her the chance to get me back, and she’ll realize how mean that would be and forgive me. Dad was pretty smart.
Only, the exact opposite happened. She unloaded on me with the icy spray from the hose, and before I knew it, I was covered head to toe in bright red taco mix powder.
It was one of the strangest moments of my life. No one knew what to do or say as I stood there stinking like a beef taco. I finally broke the silence when I said, “I forgot all my supplies today, and I’m kind of in trouble with Mrs. Cliff. I almost cost the class two marbles.”
“Wonderful,” Mom said, “just wonderful.”
14
Viva la Shower
I couldn’t wait to take a shower. Being covered in taco mix was pretty gross. It was super smelly and really hard to get off. I smelled like the school cafeteria on Taco Tuesdays.
I tried to get out of the shower as fast as possible because I thought the girls might try to give me another helping.
After my shower I went to my room and put all my school supplies into my backpack. Then I went downstairs. “What’s for dinner?” I asked Mom.
“I planned on making a meat loaf, but I’m suddenly out of French onion soup mix, so I thought we would have tacos in your honor.”
“I’m not really in the mood,” I said.
15
Day Two
Thursday morning meant the first morning bus ride of the year. Mom made sure we didn’t miss the bus. She had us all up, showered, fed, and ready to go at seven. The bus didn’t come until eight! I walked outside to get the garbage cans, and it was already about ninety degrees. I was sweating from dragging the two cans up my driveway.
Mom was outside watering her flowers. “Can’t I just take the day off?” I asked. “I’m still pretty upset from yesterday and last night. I think that taco mix might have given me some kind of a fever.”
“Come on. You’re not the only kid that has to go to school, you know. Plenty of kids don’t want to go, but they make the best of it. You can’t spend the rest of your life raising snakes and playing video games.”
Why not? I thought. It sounded like a pretty good life to me. “I think I could. We can give it a try and see how I like it.”
“Part of your problem with school is you don’t give it a chance. I think they could be handing out free money and you’d complain that you didn’t have any room for it in your school bag,” she said.
“I wouldn’t mind some free money. But you can’t pay me enough to actually enjoy it. And there isn’t enough money in the world to make me want to ride the bus.”
“I used to love the bus growing up,” she said. “My bus driver was a cute little woman named Ms. Harc. She was the sweetest lady you could ever imagine.”
“That’s great for you, but I don’t have Ms. Harc. I would welcome Ms. Harc, whoever she is, because my guy’s crazy.”
“He’s not crazy! He’s a nice man who drives the bus. You really need to be more appreciative. You’re attitude is too negative.”
“I’m negative for a reason, trust me. The bus is like a nightmare. Every time it rolls up to the bus stop, I feel like it’s going to just open its mouth and eat one of us.”
“You are so dramatic, Justin. It’s a ten-minute ride to the school. How bad can it be?”
In truth, the bus wasn’t really that bad. It was the fact that once I got on, the next place I got off was school. I like being home. It’s where I keep all my stuff, and I can chew gum.
16
Oh Man!
The kids at my bus stop were the same as the year before. Becky and Mindy were hanging out under the big tree on Mrs. Minihan’s lawn. Me and the Conisi brothers stood by the fire hydrant, where we always did. One time we found a turtle on the grass right behind the fire hydrant. Every time I went to the bus stop, I secretly hoped to find it again.
“Why weren’t you on the bus yesterday?” one of the brothers asked.
“Don’t ask.”
“We thought you moved or something,” the other brother said.
“Nope, I’m thinking about moving to Canada, though.”
“I heard in Canada everything costs less than it does in the U.S. If you have a dollar, it’s like having two dollars!”
I listened to him tell all about Canada and how much more our money is worth there. If he was right, it meant that once I was there, my money would be worth double.
Up the block, brakes squeaked. I took a deep breath. The girls giggled and high-fived each other. “Oh man,” I complained.
“What’s the matter?” the younger one asked. “Are you afraid?”
“No, I just wish I could stay home. Why would I want to go to school when I could spend the day playing at home?”
“He’s afraid,” the older one said. I tried to convince them that I wasn’t afraid, but it was too late. “Hey, Becky and Mindy, did you know your brother is afraid of the bus?” he called.
“I’m not afraid of the bus,” I defended. “I just don’t want to go to school. Why is everyone so surprised that I don’t like school? Am I the only one that has other things I’d rather be doing?”
“I have a million things I’d rather be doing, but kids have to go to school. There’s no sense in wishing you didn’t have to go because there’s no way out of it,” the older one said.
If I hop a bus to Canada, I’d be out of it, I thought. I imagined getting off the bus in Canada. I wondered if it was true that every dollar you had was worth two up there. I remembered my dad one time talking about how the dollar was stronger in Canada. If I saved one hundred dollars, it would be worth two hundred in Canada. I was daydreaming about living the good life in Canada when I heard the low roar of the bus engine getting louder. Then I saw it.
“Oh man,” I whispered.
“You are afraid,” one of the brothers said again.
17
He’s Afraid
Mindy and Becky were the first ones on the bus. All the other kids lined up and looked pretty happy to be on their way to school. I kind of wished I was more like them. If I liked school, my life would be pretty easy.
The bus doors flew open like a giant mouth ready to swallow us up. The bus driver wasn’t the crazy guy I had on the way home the day before. It was a lady with huge curly hair and big round glasses. They were the thickest glasses I’d ever seen.
Everyone climbed on, and I stood at the bottom of the steps and thought about running for it.
“Come on, young man,” she said. “I have a seat right up here behind me. You don’t have to be afraid.”
I heard giggles from some of the other kids. On my way up the steps, I tripped because of my huge heels.
“Take it slow, little fella,” she said as if I was in kindergarten.
“I’m fine,” I said.
She waved her hand to signal that she wanted me to come closer. I leaned in. “Your sisters told me that your mom wants you to sit right behind me because you’re scared of the bus. Don’t worry, little buddy. You’re going to be just fine.”
I made eye contact with the girls, who were sitting all the way in the back. Mindy winked, and Becky blew me a kiss. I turned back to the driver. “My mom didn’t say that I had to sit in the front.”
She winked at me. “Okay, big fella. You just sit there because you want to.”
“I don’t want to sit there,” I said clearly. It was no use. She was already convinced that my mom wanted me in the front seat behind the driver, and that’s where I sat.
18
&nb
sp; Day Two
I tripped going down the steps too. The heels on my shoes were so big I felt like I was on stilts. I was the second kid into the class. Mrs. Cliff was at her desk, polishing the jars. I couldn’t tell if she realized I was in the room, but then she said, “Are we prepared today, Justin?”
“Yep!” I said.
She put down her polishing rag and walked to my desk. “We do not say ‘yep.’ We say ‘yes’ in this class. ‘Yep’ is going in the graveyard. Please go fill out a cutout of a tombstone and write ‘yep’ on it.”
In the corner, by the closet, was a bulletin board of a spooky-looking graveyard. The title of the billboard read: These Words Are Put to Rest. It gave me a creepy feeling. I couldn’t believe a teacher would put something like that up. I wrote the “yep” on the tombstone cutout and taped it to the board.
“Thank you, Justin,” she said. “Do you have your supplies today?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Excellent! Today is a fresh start. Please get unpacked, and let’s get to work.” I walked to my desk and started putting away my supplies. She walked over to my desk and said, “Good job.”
I smiled. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all, I thought.
Then she said, “I see that we have the same taste in shoes.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She lifted her leg a little and pointed to her sneakers. They were the same exact pair as mine. I almost fell out of my seat.
I faked a smile and weakly said, “Cool.”
19
Smashed
The rest of the morning was alright, but it was taking forever. Time seemed to slow down at school. Five minutes felt like an hour. An hour felt like a day. When recess finally rolled around, I couldn’t wait to get outside. I watched the clock like a hawk for the final minutes to click away.
