She watched him swallow hard, his emotion raw. “As important as it is, losing the professorship isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. Trust me. Far worse can happen at the hands of an unstable ex-boyfriend. I see it all the time.”
“I understand.” She squeezed his hand. “You’re sweet to worry, and I totally get your point. But I can take care of myself. Derrick’s an intellectual bully, but he’s never been physical. And he’s definitely never going to grab my wrist like that again, not after my big strong boyfriend nearly beat him up like that! So thank you. Thank you for protecting me.”
Sean smiled. “Always.”
“But I’m going to ask that you respect my need to keep my work and personal lives separate, at least until June when the committee has made its decision. Okay? Will you respect my wishes on that?”
Her question felt like a test, and she supposed it was. Thankfully, Sean passed with flying colors.
“All right.” He let her hand go and scooted his chair back a bit. “I suppose this means I should turn down Peter’s invitation to attend his dinner party with you and your colleagues?”
“He invited you?” She was delighted to hear it. Derrick had never once been invited to one of Peter’s parties in spite of, or maybe because of, the fact that they were involved.
“He did, but I wouldn’t want to embarrass you.”
“Sean, you’d never embarrass me.”
“I just did. And I’m sorry.” He stood. “But maybe if I’m on my best behavior at dinner, I can show your colleagues I’m not just some Neanderthal who likes to beat the crap out of people for no good reason.”
Annabelle giggled and moved to kiss him. “You’re not just any Neanderthal. You’re my Neanderthal.”
Sean grunted and did his version of a caveman kiss, a firm arm around her waist, a dip backward with his hand cradling her head, his fingers tangled in her hair. The passion in his kiss made Annabelle breathless and aroused. It took her powerfully back to what sex with him felt like, that all-consuming fire that she never wanted to stop.
And then he pulled her upright and lightened his hold, keeping one hand gently on her waist and with the other, took her hand and held it against his chest. In a moment they were dancing cheek to cheek like they’d done on their first date at the piano bar at the Pioneer Hotel.
Only a little while until we can be together completely, Annabelle thought dreamily as they moved to the music in their hearts. Until then, work is work . . . and everything else is all Sean, all the time.
21
Sean left the glaciology department feeling bewildered, wondering how things had gone so wrong when the day had started out so well. He’d been trying to be romantic, trying to be a good boyfriend, but despite leaving Annabelle with a passionate kiss that she’d reciprocated in kind, he had the unmistakable sense that she wished he hadn’t visited the lab at all.
He supposed he should have called her before just showing up; after all, there were protocols for visitors at the fire station, too. But her reaction seemed more like an Annabelle thing than a protocol thing.
And Derrick. That asshole. If it hadn’t been for him, the day wouldn’t have gone sideways in the first place.
Sean believed Annabelle could take care of herself, but he trusted his own instincts about Derrick nonetheless. The guy was unstable, untrustworthy, and deserving of a good punch in the nose; however, since Sean respected Annabelle’s wishes, he would just have to keep tabs on Derrick as best he could from a distance.
He’d left the sandwiches and called a ride share back to the repair shop to pick up his truck. Since he was no longer sharing lunch with Annabelle and didn’t feel like being alone, he took up the guys’ invitation to meet at the Sled Dog Brewing Company for a late lunch. The trendy brewery was crowded and convivial, and the warm smell of hops filled the air. The rest of the group was already there when Sean arrived: Jack Barnes and Elizabeth Armstrong, Cody and Cassie, and Josh and Hayley. They’d secured one of the long bar-height tables, which was crafted from a polished piece of live edge birch wood.
“Hey, guys!” Sean said. “I feel a little bit like a third wheel here.”
“You need to find yourself a woman,” Hayley said, her hazel eyes gleaming. “Please, please let me help! I have new signups on my website who want to come to town and find their man. It could be you!”
Sean groaned good-naturedly. Hayley ran the city’s only local matchmaking service, and he knew she’d like nothing better than to find him a girlfriend. Her business included organizing singles events as well as running a campaign called “Bring Your Heart to Golden Falls,” recruiting single women to move there and helping them find both jobs and dates. As with much of Alaska, the population of Golden Falls skewed toward men, and Hayley was trying to do something about it.
“Thanks, but I think I’m okay in that regard,” he said.
She laughed. “You don’t sound too sure about that, Sean.”
“I was, up until an hour ago.”
“Oooh.” Hayley patted the seat next to her. “Sit next to me and tell me all about it.”
“And here. We’ve still got some Russian onions left.” Elizabeth pushed the plate toward him.
Russian onions were one of the Sled Dog’s famous appetizers, described as “an onion wrapped in bacon inside crispy beer batter.”
“Yum.” Sean helped himself. He was a sucker for anything fried. “How’s school, Elizabeth?”
“Good! I’m only taking two pre-nursing classes, but I’m getting A’s in both.”
“Good for you,” Sean said. “That doesn’t surprise me at all.”
He’d known Elizabeth for years, first as a fellow coach for the city’s hockey league and now more recently as Jack’s girlfriend. Sean appreciated a lot of things about her, but none more than her tenacity in improving her circumstances in life. She’d been dealt some bad blows, but she still came up smiling and determined.
“So, this woman you’re seeing,” Cassie said, leaning into the conversation. “Is she the one you rescued from the crevasse a few weeks back?” She glanced at the other men in their party, who were in a deep debate about what should happen to a man who’d drunkenly driven a snowmobile onto the Iditarod course and collided with a sled team, resulting in the death of a dog. “You can confide in us girls.”
Sean grinned at the invitation and then sighed as he remembered the changed look in Annabelle’s true-blue eyes when they’d said goodbye less than an hour ago. Earlier in the morning when they’d parted, her eyes had been lusty and inviting to him, but they’d been clouded with tension after the incident with Derrick. Part of him wondered if he’d blown his chances with her.
Whether Derrick knew it or not, when he’d called Sean a testosterone-laden meathead it had brought up Sean’s fundamental insecurity about his future with Annabelle—would she be able to see him as more than just the sum of his parts?
“Yep, that’s her,” he said. “Annabelle Keith.” Her name rolled off his tongue like a lullaby. “And she’s probably way out of my league. Still, I haven’t liked a woman this much in . . . well, ever.”
Hayley, Elizabeth, and Cassie exchanged smiling looks.
“So why aren’t you sure about your relationship?” Cassie asked.
Sean filled them in on what had just happened. How he’d tried to be romantic and how he’d made a scene when he’d witnessed Derrick being aggressive with Annabelle.
“Something just came over me when I saw him hurting her,” he said, remembering how Annabelle had winced when Derrick grabbed her wrist and yanked her away from her computer. “And maybe I overreacted or misinterpreted something, but I seriously could have killed the guy.”
“Did you hit him?” Hayley asked. “Because if you did, I can see where that might scare her off.”
“I didn’t hit him, but I got in his face,” Sean said. “I pulled him the hell away from Annabelle and made it clear that I could kick his ass, but I didn’t actually do
it. But Annabelle wasn’t too pleased. It seems my so-called meathead ways don’t fit in the academic environment. She’s trying to keep the peace because they work so closely together on their research.”
“Would you handle it differently next time?” Elizabeth asked.
“Probably, knowing how it turned out. But Annabelle’s—” He paused to find the right words. “This guy’s bad news, and she’s not seeing it.”
“Are you saying he’s bad news because you’re jealous of him?” Cassie asked.
“No.” Sean was sure of that. “He puts off a creepy vibe. I think he’s got issues. Hostility toward Annabelle that she’s not taking seriously enough, but I guess it’s not my place to say. I guess I just need to mind my own business and trust she’s got things under control, even though I think something’s really off about the guy.”
“Annabelle’s right,” Hayley said. “You need to trust her. I mean, Look at Cassie, our Wonder Woman. She took down her own stalker, all by herself. Cody didn’t even know about him until the very end.”
“Which was a mistake,” Cassie said. “I very much wish I’d brought Cody into things long before I did, but I just . . . well, I was an idiot about that, and it could have cost me my life. Hostile guys can cause real problems for women whether they’re naïve or not. I was the opposite of naïve and I still almost died.”
“I remember how torn up Cody was about that,” Sean said. “He regretted he hadn’t picked up on the fact that you were in danger well before he did. I don’t want to be in that spot. I don’t want anything bad to happen to Annabelle. I mean, when she fell in that crevasse, Derrick absolutely couldn’t have cared less whether she lived or died—and he was dating her at the time!”
“It does sound worrisome,” Cassie said. “Cody said it seemed like he was jealous of the attention she was getting.”
“That’s what her best friend said, too,” Sean said, remembering back to Lottie’s words at the homecoming at the airport when Derrick stood beside them while Cassie interviewed Annabelle. “And he said something really odd, like how he thought it was stupid people were considering her a hero when all she did was live.”
“Yikes.” Elizabeth flinched. “And they were dating at the time? That’s positively creepy.”
“She broke up with him right after,” Sean said.
“Are you sure this woman’s worth the baggage she’s bringing into the relationship?” Hayley asked.
“She’s the coolest, funniest, most intelligent woman I’ve ever met,” Sean said.
What he didn’t say was how intimate the sex had felt between them the previous night and that very morning. How Annabelle’s sultry lips ignited him in all the right places. How she’d caught her breath as he gently teased his fingertips across her nipples. How his soft kisses on her stomach had made her writhe with pleasure. How he alone had the power to get her out of her head and enjoy the physicality of sex for the first time.
“I know it’s still new, but I feel like we’re meant to be together,” he said. “I’ve never had that feeling about someone before.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Hayley said. “I felt the same way about Josh.”
“And I felt the same way about Jack,” Elizabeth said.
“Ditto for Cody and me,” said Cassie.
“And it worked out for all of you,” Sean said.
“Can I offer some advice?” Elizabeth asked.
“Please do.”
“Speaking from painful experience . . . “ She glanced at Jack and smiled before looking back at Sean. “The heat of the moment isn’t usually the best time to communicate anything important. The heat of the moment is all emotion. I’d recommend sitting down, maybe over a glass of wine, and telling her what you told us—that you’ve never felt this way about a woman before, and you think this relationship is something special, and yet you’re concerned for her safety—she’d hear you in the way you need her to.”
“What did she see in this guy in the first place?” Cassie asked.
“They had an intellectual connection.”
Sean sipped his Polaris IPA and wondered if maybe Annabelle was just slumming it with him, intellectually at least. He turned to Cassie Holt-soon-to-be-Bradford, another woman who was probably out of the league of her firefighter. Sean still shook his head at how Cody had managed to snag the quintessential New York City woman and convince her to live in his rough-hewn cabin.
“Do you think I stand a chance with someone as smart as her? You can be honest.”
“Of course you do!” Cassie said. “She’d be lucky to have you, and I hope she’s smart enough to realize that.”
22
Annabelle’s cell phone rang. It was mid-afternoon and what had begun as a perfect day had turned awful, all because of Derrick and the trouble he seemed intent on causing. And, truth be told, because of Sean and all the protecting he seemed determined to do, even though she’d never asked for or wanted it.
Looking at the handwritten outline that sat next to her computer, she suppressed a sigh. Ever since Sean’s unexpected visit to the lab and the resulting drama it had caused, she’d lost her ability to focus.
Now her mother was calling, and based on past experience, Annabelle expected the call would do nothing to help improve the day. No matter how accomplished she was, how different she was from the girl she’d been when growing up, her mom had the power to reduce her back to her insecure, misunderstood state better than anyone. And yet a part of Annabelle was ever hopeful that someday her relationship with her mom would change. Improve. Become a relationship of mother-daughter friendship rather than the mother-knows-best one they still had.
That hope kept her picking up the phone.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, Annabelle. I called to remind you it’s your father’s birthday tomorrow.”
Susan Keith was nothing if not predictable. She always called to remind Annabelle about both her brother’s birthday and her dad’s birthday, as well as those of her niece and nephew. Annabelle thought it was because of Susan’s job at the post office that she was insistent they all send birthday cards, even if they hardly communicated otherwise.
“I know. I already sent a card, and I’ll call him tomorrow.” Like I always do. Have I ever forgotten?
“Good, good,” Susan said. “How’s your dissertation coming along?”
“Fine overall, but not very good today,” Annabelle said. “I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“You know. Just life.”
But it wasn’t just life. It was Sean.
Initially, there had been the intrusive but not unwelcome memories of her first time with him. Make that her first four times with him . . . when had that ever happened before? She’d occasionally had sex twice in a night, but she and Sean were positively insatiable together. Her body ached in all the right places, and even though she’d tried hard to focus on the words on her computer screen once she’d arrived at her office, she couldn’t stop the wave after wave, image after image of his body joining with hers, pleasuring hers, and then the ecstasy his face showed when she did certain things to him . . . the morning had been one delicious distraction after another.
And then, of course, there had been what came later. Derrick’s presence at her apartment. Then Derrick arguing with her yet again and Sean showing up and overreacting to the situation, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, making a scene in the one place that was sacred to her for its reliance on logic and process and method. Sean brought messy emotion into her carefully ordered world, and it unsettled her.
None of which she wanted to tell her mom.
“How are you guys doing?” Annabelle asked.
“We’re hanging in there,” Susan said with the precarious tone she always used when Annabelle asked that question. As if everything could fall to pieces at any second, even though they’d always managed to make it through, even when times were tough. “Your brother
and the kids came over yesterday. He and your dad are planning to be out for three full months this season.” She meant the fishing season. As always, she sounded weary talking about Annabelle’s father. “How’s Derrick doing?”
“Mom, I told you. We broke up.”
“Yes, but you’re still friends, right? So maybe there’s still a chance.”
Hell no, Annabelle thought. After being with a man like Sean, she’d never be with a man like Derrick again. If she had her way, she’d never be with another man at all. It would be all Sean, all the way.
“I’m actually seeing someone new,” Annabelle said. “Remember Sean Kelly from high school?”
“Sean Kelly, the hockey player?”
Annabelle laughed. “Yes, Sean Kelly, the hockey player. He lives up here now, and we’ve been seeing each other.”
“You and Sean Kelly.” The doubt in Susan’s tone was unmistakable. “Oh, honey. That boy broke your heart.”
“No, he didn’t!”
“Yes, he did! I read your diary, don’t you remember?”
“Oh, I remember. I haven’t kept a diary since.”
Her mom’s discovery of her diary had been a singularly humiliating moment in Annabelle’s life because it revealed just how pathetic she was, pining for a boy who didn’t give her a second thought. Page after page was filled with Annabelle’s fantasies and schemes to get him to notice her. Her mom had been so alarmed she’d felt compelled to have a serious sit-down conversation with her.
Bless her heart, her mom had tried to help. Even though money in their family was beyond tight, she’d combed the thrift stores with Annabelle, trying to help her find clothing that was remotely fashionable. She’d taught Annabelle how to give herself a manicure with dollar-store nail polish and even scraped together the money to enroll her in a ballet class for the sole purpose of improving Annabelle’s posture, which had gotten progressively worse as Annabelle’s chest had gotten larger. Embarrassed by her breasts, she used to slouch in an attempt not to draw attention to them.
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